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The Road Before & After Surgery
November 16, 2017
Schedule? What's That?.
Mood:  quizzical
Now Playing: Day 2872-Next GP Chapter... Turning Lemons Into Lemonade :)

 

Talking about tired! I am beat!

There is so much going on at once that it's becoming nearly impossible to keep up with everything. Or more so... to remember everything.

Back to lots of post-it-notes scattered across the kitchen cabinets. Daily reminders on a little bit of everything that needs to be done. Not just with final repairs inside and outside of our house before the cold winter months. But as well with a pending surgery that needs approved by our insurance company among many other things. I also have a taping that was scheduled by a very reputable production company. That taping was suppose to happen last month. Yet everything still remains on hold after needing to endure another unexpected surgery. And of course... another recovery.

The way things are going with all sorts of continued bumps in the road. A little thing called...life. We might end up going straight into another super crazy schedule for next month, December. Right in time for the holidays! Pfffff... Yep, that's life for ya!

I have been missing out on a lot lately while being pulled in a million directions. What I really miss are the walks we shared along the river trails. Not once a day, but twice a day. Sure, we both enjoy watching the fur babies have lots of fun at our local dog park. However this gal needs to keep herself moving! Gravity is the key which I believe helps more so with the pain than prescribed medication and spinal injections. If only I could gain back some energy that even I had this time last year. Winter is usually the time of year when I have the most energy. I'm just not so sure if that statement will ring true for this winter season. All my body seems to be wanting to do lately is sleep. Although my brain still wants to battle with that logic. Pushing myself is most definitely not in my best interest.

With not having too many making Santa's nice list this year. At least holiday shopping will be the easiest for me yet! Our fur children are never picky and always enjoy whatever Santa Paws brings them. Little E is at the age now where gift certificates are the way to go when hoping to bring a smile on a 10 years old face. I remember at that age when wrapped presents were the best gift one could receive on Christmas Eve. Cash and gift certificates were the last thing on a child's wish list. Crazy how times have changed. But the old saying is true, 100 percent! I would much rather have a homemade gift than something bought from a store. It just means so much more! Eric said, "Ditto for him! Bring on the baked goods!" Hehehehehehe!

I better stop here with talking about Christmas. We still have yet to even celebrate Thanksgiving next week. This Thanksgiving we plan on doing our best to stick to new traditions with our little family. With Eric working and my surgery awaiting to have a final scheduled date. We have to wait until later this week before knowing if we can celebrate Thanksgiving or spend time relaxing while I go through another recovery. Time will only tell. Another watch, wait and see.

Tomorrow will be such a fun and exciting blog as I make an official announcement to share with everyone!

Until then...zzzzzzz...


Posted by GastroparesisAwarenessCampaignOrg. at 12:01 AM EST
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November 15, 2017
Knowledge Is... Bliss~
Mood:  bright
Now Playing: Day 2871-Next GP Chapter... Turning Lemons Into Lemonade :)

 

Good day. Bad day. Bad day. Good day.

Some times  it feels as if they all blend together as one. This is what happens after a good pie!

POOF! Hahahahaha!

One couldn't tell that Eric really liked sweet potato pie. Nah. Not in the least bit.

Today I assumed (so wrong to assume anything in life) that I would have a new specialty oncologist here in the country. This way I wouldn't have to continue tracking over state lines with my other oncologist. At least occasionally. But one should never assume anything in life. Just like assuming that everything would turn out okay with a new specialist that is much closer to our home here in the country. That appointment went literally no where as I was referred to the same place where my other team of specialists are referring me. Back to the Cleveland Clinic.

How far of a drive would that now be since moving out here in the country. Here in Indiana.... Oh... only a 4 hour and 18 minute drive?. Well then, sign us on up! Said no one, ever.

I might not be much when it comes to compromising such as with another even longer drive back up to the Cleveland Clinic. Once was enough with all the bumps in the road that only made matters worse, internally. Instead, I decided to do a far different compromise and take my specialists up on the offer to have my most recent physician notes and medical reports faxed up to the team at the Cleveland Clinic. All within the hopes of helping my team of specialists down here back across state lines in the city. And lets not forget, a new team member now here in the country. But even so, that oncologist appointment today didn't go so well as planned. They felt that the level of expertise needed for my care way exceeds the level of care that they could offer me. One even commented to Eric that my unique case is like something that came right out of the New England Medical Journal. A rare condition that needs extremely high expertise medical care.

Not only have I officially come full circle with my tumors since ending experimental oncology treatments. But now, as of most recently, I am once again dealing with two separate ovaries that have woken up from a deep radiation therapy sleep. One ovary that miraculously grew back and is now it's own entity. Even as much as ovulating on a different cycle than my other ovary. Need not mention the hormone levels that are being fed to already extremely large ovarian tumors. Ovarian cancer is one of the most difficult female cancers to treat, whether alone to even cure. I can't possibly see me enduring a drive up to Cleveland Clinic twice a month. Even with Eric driving and staying overnight at one of their connected hotels for free. It's just not possible nor feasible for me anymore. That window of opportunity has sadly already passed by me.

How in the world did my body become such a huge mess, internally. It is beyond me. But what I have learned to do, is to put all of my mental energy into far more productive things.

The truth will set you free. As I once again listened to my gut instincts. Myself and Eric both agree when it comes to having closure with family. The latest denied, dismissed court filings are very puzzling. I feel as if with some family members. I am getting mixed information. I sure hope it doesn't end up with mixed information that turns out to be mere lying. This afternoon, I began the process of finding answers. Seeking final closure on some quite bizarre filings. I should have all transcripts within the next few weeks. Once again, all I can hope and pray is that we don't end up reading about more lying. The truth may set you free. But I tend to believe more so on gut instincts. We even agree to so much as to give a few the chance to come clean with anything that hasn't been truthfully told to us with both court filings. But as such, they must had decided to plead the fifth. "Mum," was the response for the remainder of the day. Time will only tell who is finally being honest and who is once again, lying. I anticipate for a huge shock once we are finally able to read all court transcripts regarding both filings. Knowledge is... bliss~

With rain, rain and more rain that continued for the remainder of the day here in the country. I opted to begin my new pain medication a bit early. Eric... he took on the chore of at-home pet grooming.

These two! Too darn CUTE! Hehehehehehe!

 

 


Posted by GastroparesisAwarenessCampaignOrg. at 12:01 AM EST
Updated: November 16, 2017 12:39 AM EST
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November 14, 2017
A Great Lesson Learned!
Mood:  bright
Now Playing: Day 2870-Next GP Chapter... Turning Lemons Into Lemonade :)

 

I have learned a great lesson over the years. But most importantly over the past weekend.

Becoming a bull's-eye for a really mean spirited comment on social media.

What I have learned from reacting towards such comments is that it has nothing to do with me. But everything to do with the person who can not be happy for others.

When someone has to stoop to such a low level to not be happy with you or happy for you. It speaks volumes about the person doing such. If everyone would just take the time to check their insecurities at the door and do something about it. Without projecting it towards others in such a mean hearted way. Then maybe there wouldn't be so many unhappy people using other people to project their unhappiness in very hurtful ways.

Myself and Eric are not quite sure what some folks anticipate on how one should look (outer appearance) when sick or bravely battling cancer.

I have yet to run into a patient that has told me they want to look as bad as they feel while going out in public. Especially when the good Lord gives you a good day. I have yet to meet a woman or young lady that did not want to look their absolute best during special occasions. If that means using whatever beauty aids and accessories that are available in this day and age. Then so be it! If that's what makes you feel good about yourself. If that's what makes you smile. If that's what makes you happy. Then this gal is all for it!

What I have learned over my birthday weekend is that the most miserable people in the world are the most unhappy folks in this world. When given the opportunity, sometimes these same folks will take their unhappiness out on others who are truly happy. I feel sorry for these kind of folks. However I have learned that is has nothing to do with me. But everything to do with them.

Sometimes all you can do when someone can't be happy for you. Is to take a few selfies and smile, smile, s-m-i-l-e! Unleash that beaming light of happiness with those who may just need a bit of happiness of their very own. 

Remember... it isn't about you. The unhappiness and unkind comments are about them.

Misconception is with those who believe you should look a certain way while being sick.

I say....NONSENSE.

 


Posted by GastroparesisAwarenessCampaignOrg. at 12:01 AM EST
Updated: November 15, 2017 10:20 PM EST
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November 13, 2017
A Very Special Birth Day Celebration :)
Mood:  special
Now Playing: Day 2869-Next GP Chapter... Turning Lemons Into Lemonade :)

 

When the good Lord gives you a good day, a good hour, a good minute, a good moment.

You use it to the very  fullest!

Today was a perfect day and a most perfect opportunity to celebrate a very special moment. A very special belated birth day. Feeling another year of being blessed? You BET! I am one very lucky and beyond fortunate gal!

As I mentioned just a few blogs ago...it's amazing what a year can do to ones life. It's also amazing to literally see how much we have both changed over the past year. Of course, like fine wine, I like to think that I get better with age. Eric...he begs to differ as he decided to plead the fifth on how well he ages. Hehehehehehe! Hey, I am trying with making sure he uses daily facial and body lotion. Someone's gotta help him to preserve his youth! Hehehehehehe! I chalk up my graceful aging to genetics. Possibly even the fact that I don't get outdoors very much in the sun. I stay well preserved! Hahahahaha! Too funny! I still get carded to this very day. BAH! Sometimes that can be a good thing or a really annoying thing. I earned every single year of celebrating another birthday. This year was no exception to the rule of getting out to enjoy life. When a good moment hits...SEIZE IT!

This year we decided to continue with a special birth day tradition. A Christmas theme kind of birthday celebration!

LOVE~LOVE~LOVE

How fortunate can a gal be. How incredibly lucky and forever blessed am I to celebrate another birthday with my best friend, hubby by my side. Life...it doesn't get any more perfect than this! Life to me. It is truly a gift!

 

Cancer is a game changer. It changes you physically, emotionally. It changes the way you see things and people and relationships. It literally leaves an imprint on your brain.

On my worst days I raged about the why, the how.

On my worst days I allowed the disease to define me.

On my very worst days and nights I allowed fear to get me with no end in sight.

But on my best days...

On my best days I give thanks.

Not for being sick. Not for losing a part of my body. Not for even losing a part of myself. But for life itself. And for all the things I learned while battling this war.

I lived through a virtual encyclopedia of daily fear. The sense of losing physical control of what could never be defied, internally. I have finally learned that there is no such thing as control.

I still struggle to be comfortable with daily uncertainty. The look of fear within the eyes of my medical team. But I have finally made peace. Peace with everything and what is and what can no longer be. With each passing day, I am that much further in order to embrace what is going on with me.

Healing is never really about getting better. It is about letting go of everything that isn't you and finally becoming who you are and destined to be. When you square off with death, you learn that there is no such thing as too late. If I am going to do something, even on a whim, I do it now. Not later. 

While on the end of this journey. What I have learned most is that love means everything. Love is the foundation of absolutely everything. Unconditional love means everything when you are sick. Love gets you through those days when really all you want to do is give up.

This moment is the prize. This moment is a gift.

 I know this. And I will never forget.

h.d-j.w


Posted by GastroparesisAwarenessCampaignOrg. at 12:01 AM EST
Updated: November 14, 2017 2:51 AM EST
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November 12, 2017
Tis A GREAT Day To BAKE! :)
Mood:  happy
Now Playing: Day 2868-Next GP Chapter... Turning Lemons Into Lemonade :)

 

Our indoor garage sale...okay...that sounds funny.

Our sale that we held indoors, turned out to be a huge success!

We have won another battle of less=MORE. YAYYYY!

Thankfully, the rain held off for a bit longer than the forecast predicted here in the country. Although, we ended up closing our weekend sale a bit early. It was still a huge success and most relaxing too! Not having to go back and forth, outside to the garage when a customer arrived was not missed this year. Having our sale in the basement, indoors, was the best decision at the last second when we noticed rain forecasted for this weekend. We may not have made a whole lot of money. However, we did end up selling a good majority of excess stuff. What's that ole saying again?... Hmmmmm... What is junk to one. Is a treasure to another?. Or something along those lines. It's totally true, however we really didn't have any junk. Not in the least bit due to my OCD habits of being such an organized neat freak. HA! I always was one to take care of everything that I own as well making sure to keep things super clean, neat and tidy! We were beyond relieved to not see one customer leave empty handed through out the weekend. It's good to see that folks can use what we no longer need or no longer can use. Lots of various items that have been stored within a huge pile of cardboard moving boxes in our basement. Boxes that are now officially empty, broken down and now stored in our very clean and vacant basement! YAYYYY!

What little we had left were around 7 boxes of mostly clothes and other small miscellaneous items. Instead of keeping what didn't sell. We decided to drop the items off at a little consignment store down the street. The same store that I found my very beautiful ocean theme painting that I restored and is now hanging on the wall in the master bedroom. No need for a tax receipt. So we decided to drop everything off this evening while the rest of our little, lazy, river town was fast asleep. It's nice to give back when given the opportunity. We wish we could do more for those in need. But sometimes just paying someone a nice compliment means more than any material object. A smile goes a long way! So does a compliment! Try it sometime, you will see exactly what I mean!

After cleaning up from our weekend sale and taking down all nine online ads, (just call me the marketing Queen) we decided to end the day on a baking note. Time for some early holiday baking! Time to try a few new twists to the same ole recipes! I was never one to use recipes. I enjoy being creative and doing my own cooking thang-hehehehehe! This time of year brings out my true passion and love for holiday cooking. I have always enjoyed cooking, since as young as I can remember. So why not try something new to start off the next few months of some serious holiday baking!

Triple TART Berry Cobbler & Super SPICY Sweet Potato Pie

Think of a really super tart piece of candy and this is exactly how TART this triple berry cobbler tastes! Trust me by saying, "It's GOOD!" But 'OH' is it mighty TART! I can't remember the last time making any type of cobbler. So it should really be no big surprise that I under baked it which led to the crust falling into the cobbler. BAH! Eric...well he ate it anyways and did so with a smile. As well with a huge spoon in hand! Hahahahaha!

I was going to try my hand, literally, with making my own crust for this super spicy sweet potato pie. However since this is the first for me making any type of sweet potato pie. I opted for a pre-made crust. I did go a bit over-the-top with a few spices, but that is really what made it turn out sooooo DELICIOUS! Eric loves anything with sweet potatoes. I am fortunate that me and sweet potatoes don't really mix. I can live without them, but even a few small spoonful's really has me revisiting my relationship with these amazing golden holiday potatoes! This super spicy sweet potato pie really turned out to be a super tasty dish!

How long will it last in our household? I give it a day. Eric is already going on his forth serving, and the pie has only been out of the oven less than 3 hours ago. HA! I feel for him come tomorrow morning after mixing both the sweet potatoes and triple berry cobbler. Talking about one heck of a stomach ache! Nah...I will stick with my protein shakes and other safe beverages for the evening. Hehehehehehe!

CHEERS to the start of a very HAPPY season of holiday baking!


Posted by GastroparesisAwarenessCampaignOrg. at 12:01 AM EST
Updated: November 14, 2017 1:44 AM EST
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November 11, 2017
Garage Sale MANIA! ;)
Mood:  rushed
Now Playing: Day 2867-Next GP Chapter... Turning Lemons Into Lemonade :)

 

Talking about the start of a huge garage sale success!

Maybe not so much of an actual 'garage' sale. Not since having to move it indoors to the basement. It was not only far more convenient being able to just literally walk down the basement steps to watch over the big sale. But it also seems as if the customers are far more appreciative of having the warmth of shopping indoors.

First day of our big sale, a year in the making, turned out to be a HUGE SUCCESS!

We didn't expect to have too many customers. However, here in the country, anything goes! Even garage sales on a working day, Friday. YAYYYY!

The time flew by super fast and so did all of the clutter and excess that we have been accumulating over the years. What a huge relief watching box after box being broke down and stacked up against the wall. WOO~HOO! Less...is more folks! It's been my life motto for quite a few years now. Less clutter, less cleaning, less of everything means far more time to literally live life to the fullest. Bring on the good days!

After a successful first day, now going into our second day of our huge indoor garage sale-moving sale. The fur gang stayed upstairs on their bestest behavior! Snoreo even helped with the big sale by keeping an eye and bark out, letting us know when the next customer has arrived. Hehehehehehe!

It sure looks like this is going to be another cold sneak-preview winter day here in the country. Better bundle up the gang before heading up to our local dog park later this evening! BRRRRR! I don't mind though, however Eric begs to differ on the cold weather, hehehehehehe! I love the cold weather and being able to wear lots of big, comfy clothes! Now all we need is snow, lots of it!

This evening will be a super~relaxing time enjoying a few more holiday classics with a nice warm cup of coffee for Eric and tea for me. A super  relaxing kind of Saturday evening!

 


Posted by GastroparesisAwarenessCampaignOrg. at 10:59 AM EST
Updated: November 11, 2017 11:03 AM EST
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November 10, 2017
A Special Kind Of Birth~Day :)
Mood:  special
Now Playing: Day 2866-Next GP Chapter... Turning Lemons Into Lemonade :)

 

What a difference a year can make in ones life.

Today is a very special day. A very special birth~day kind of day!

Who I miss the most...my Littleblue.

I honestly miss all of my beloved fur children that got called back home to heaven far too soon. I miss celebrating a very special day with my very special beloved fur angels. All the tail waggins, meows and howls of excitement while opening my gifts and cutting a slice of birthday cake. The little kisses on my cheek.

This year feels different trying to celebrate my actual birth date. Not having my beloved fur children surrounding me feels...empty.

I always told Eric, that maybe they wanted to reach the beautiful golden gate and such peace that heaven will bring, before me. I can only hope and pray, that when my time comes being called back home to heaven. That all of my beloved fur angels will be standing in front of that big golden gate. Waiting for their mommy.

What a beautiful day that will be!

This evening, Eric lit a few candles on a slice of my favorite, Tiramisu cake. As we listened to some favorite holiday music classics, reflecting on far happier memories. Far happier days. 

 


Posted by GastroparesisAwarenessCampaignOrg. at 12:01 AM EST
Updated: November 11, 2017 10:14 AM EST
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November 9, 2017
Cleveland Clinic...Here We Come! Or...Not.
Mood:  d'oh
Now Playing: Day 2865-Next GP Chapter... Turning Lemons Into Lemonade :)

 

This was totally me this  morning!

Hahahahaha!

Actually...both of us.

Nothing like ringing in a new year, birth year, with a little bit of shocking news from my doctor this morning. For crying out loud! Here we go again and again and again and again.

I can't remember what it's like to actually work for a living. If being sick was a job. I clearly would be holding a top CEO title! No joke. I miss working. I never would had imagined having to be on permanent disability for most likely, the remainder of my lifetime. Knowing that it took me a little over 3 years to win a temporary work permit. Then to once again, deal with more complications, escalating issues with my health. In which, I still have yet to complete the first of two possible online business ventures with my temporary work permit. Well...it's down right frustrating. I could use other choice words on my mind, but we will keep this blog 'G' rated. BAH!

Not only has it been one hell of a morning. An even worse afternoon into the evening hours dealing with nagging pain from sitting in the car traveling across state. Far too many hours for this gals liking when not taking her pain medication. Yep, I also forgot to bring that with us this morning. Pfffff!

Today...just wasn't my day. Our day.

I will quote the words from one of my many specialists whom have all wrote their own special notes within my online medical chart. Another few specialist notes that were read to us today.

"Please refer patient to Cleveland Clinic for further advanced care."

"Patient needs to be referred to specialty cancer care."

We have been down this road a few times over the years. My specialists have come to their own crossroads where even my complications are becoming far too much for them to manage. What used to work, is no longer working. Another possible option for some sort of experimental treatment. I assume...if one wants to wander back down that experimental road. Really, in my mind, while being read one specialist letter after another. I have already given up this long, windy road of going no where.

Really, it's not all about giving up. For me, it's about the quality of my good days. Not the quantity of how many days I am able to enjoy through out the week. Driving back and forth up north to the Cleveland Clinic already sounds exhausting. Yet, my team of specialists are very adamant about sending me up north as my long, lengthy online medical chart makes it way to the Cleveland Clinic now as we speak. Sometimes, it's best to just bite your tongue before you speak. I don't want to let my amazing team of specialists down, however, I am a realistic gal. Realistic is when you come to a point within your battle, realizing that things are not going to get any better. So why not enjoy the good days, to the fullest, while they last. AMEN.

Yea, it wasn't a very good appointment. Not like they ever are lately. But I guess even today brings with it, another silver lining. I always have Cleveland Clinic to fall back on. Maybe not in this lifetime. But it's nice to know that my specialists still have hope and remain dedicated in my care to the very best of their ability.

 

 


Posted by GastroparesisAwarenessCampaignOrg. at 12:01 AM EST
Updated: November 10, 2017 12:36 PM EST
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November 8, 2017
One Word...TIRED.
Mood:  lazy
Now Playing: Day 2864-Next GP Chapter... Turning Lemons Into Lemonade :)

 

One BEST enjoy this beautiful fall weather before Mother Nature literally throws us an early taste of winter over this upcoming weekend!

BRRRRR~

Thanks to Dr. T and his most marvelous hidden talent!

This totally describes how I view the fall season...LOVE  IT!

However, today was all about good ole sleep. Much needed rest for my body! We plan on still having our garage sale over this upcoming weekend. Even with the brisk winter-like weather forecasted...our sale must go on...indoors! Hehehehehe! This means moving everything from the upstairs garage to the basement. Looks like not only will Eric need coffee, but as well an extra protein shake! HA!

It's been an official year, October 24th, since moving into our home here in the country. More like...on the wooded country hillside. We have accumulated an awful lot over the years. More so on my end, over the past decade and then some! Less to me...is truly more in order to enjoy life to the fullest! Amen.

Tomorrow marks another appointment with my specialist. Then next week it's off to see a new specialist here in Indiana. Sometimes, it's all about location-location-location. Not having to be in the car, driving over bumps that only make the tumor pain worse. I will still remain part of my team of specialists care back in Ohio. However, having another doctor to share their expertise with my unique medical case can never hurt matters. Possibly, even helping matters.

Only time will tell. It's a watch, wait and see.

Until tomorrowzzzzz


Posted by GastroparesisAwarenessCampaignOrg. at 12:01 AM EST
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November 7, 2017
A Little List Of Life Reminders :)
Mood:  bright
Now Playing: Day 2863-Next GP Chapter... Turning Lemons Into Lemonade :)

 

We all could use a little pick-me-up from time to time!

A little list of reminders on why you should laugh, smile and of course...BE  HAPPY!

#10. Even when you felt your absolute worst over the past week. You did your best.

#9. Being a little weird is just a natural side effect of being totally awesome!

#8. People around you right now, at this very second, might have on pants and underwear. However, that doesn't mean they are better than you.

#7. If it doesn't open. It's not your door.

#6. Standing in your truth...is like having a super festive birthday party! It doesn't matter if nobody shows up because you'll enjoy that festive glitter for weeks! If not years from now!

#5. Be you, just the way you are, in the beautiful way only you know how.

#4. If you spent 3 seconds today truly appreciating an image, smell or song. You're already ahead!

#3. It's more than okay to take the time to slow down, reflect, and appreciate what you have. Sometimes it's okay if the only thing you're doing is breathing.

#2. What you do today is important because you are exchanging a day of your life for it.

#1. This moment is sacred.

I kid you not. Right now is the only moment you have. You are not guaranteed a tomorrow. Your past is just memories now. You are alive. You are a part of this universe.

There is not one moment more sacred than this very moment.  The here, now.

Life IS a present...a remarkable gift!


Posted by GastroparesisAwarenessCampaignOrg. at 11:14 PM EST
Updated: November 9, 2017 10:04 PM EST
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