Now Playing: Day 2947-Chapter 3... Happiness~My Silver Lining
Thank goodness for Eric taking a message early this morning when central scheduling called to go over my surgery date and other information at 8am. After some much needed rest, I was finally able to call them back at 3pm.
It took me awhile to finally get to sleep. I have yet to get feeling better, but was only told it would be expected. Lots of rest and just taking it easy until surgery. We really had hoped for surgery to be scheduled for next week. This way I wouldn't have too long of a chance to allow my brain to run wild with surgical possibilities and other 'what-if' scenarios. I would much rather just get this surgery one and done, ASAP! But instead... we were given a date of February 20th.
The 20-day countdown... begins.
As of late this evening. We are actually thankful to have 20 days to figure out a game plan. During a very lengthy phone call with the surgery department, I was advised to begin a medication given to me by my specialist yesterday. Quite scary medication that honestly... I rather not take nor put myself at risk of far-too-many side effects. But the unfortunate part of this, is that this time, I have no other choice. By 8pm, I finally had the courage to get my brain face on as I began the first round of medication. What I had yet to tell Eric was the 15-weeks of outpatient therapy that I will have to endure, regardless of the outcome of surgery. A 15-week course of therapy, once a day, 7-days a week. That news delivered to Eric late this afternoon... well... to say he is still shocked would be an understatement. We have already maxed out leave time with his employer. Another unfortunate, yet unexpected turn of events regarding an ongoing battle with my health. I am now finding myself feeling as if I have become a huge burden. It's not a pleasant feeling dealing with health issues that are still spiraling out of control. Far out of my own control. This is where great counseling helps one to put things into perspective.
I have to remember that what is going on... what has been going on... what is taking place... what will be happening during and after surgery isn't my fault. No one asks to be sick.
Outpatient therapy to help filter out my kidneys and bladder will be done back across state lines for a course of 15-weeks, 7-days a week, 4-5 hours per daily treatment. To say that I am feeling a bit overwhelmed by all this news, would be an understatement. I have already handled more than any normal human being could ever handle in a lifetime. Yet, it still isn't the end of my lifetime. I am living, breathing and through it all, still somehow fighting. How in the heck do I do it? With the help of my guardian angels. It is something that I have always believed, deep in my heart, to be true.
Over the next few days, while I am doing my best to deal with another new course of therapy and the medications not-so-welcoming side effects. Eric has already begun doing his best to figure out how in the world we are going to pull everything off in a matter of 20-days. A green letter written to the Sheriff requesting donated hours, generously donated by fellow employees, coworkers that over the years have become good friends. We don't do well asking for help. I assume that's where pride somehow always gets in the way. But life happens... everyone at some point of their life... sometime in their lifetime... can't win the battle alone. There will be a time, in everyone's lifetime, where asking for help is perfectly... okay.
Eric will not be able to work during the 15-weeks of outpatient therapy, back across state lines, in Ohio. It's going to be hard enough driving back and forth, especially when not feeling well. But somehow, we will find a way to make it work. We always have... always will. Maybe the new website that will be officially released tomorrow really does have a place in this current part of my journey. In more ways, than one.
Another means to find a reason to laugh and share a smile. A therapeutic way to get through the rough road ahead.