Mood: hug me
Now Playing: Day 2833-Next GP Chapter... Turning Lemons Into Lemonade :)
Not one...but 2 cat scans over the course of a mere month.
Both failed to pick up not just the existing tumors. But more than what we could had ever anticipated. This is what happens when oncology treatments don't work. This is what happens when you begin staring down death.
Yesterday morning...7:30am. The phone calls began. I already knew deep down in my heart that the news wasn't going to be good. Myself and Eric already knew due to symptoms that are continuing to only get worse. The pain was off the charts yesterday morning into the early evening hours. I hardly got any sleep. That makes two of us. There was no need for me to pick up the phone. It can wait until we head up to the hospital later that morning. Facing the music of what lies ahead.
Isn't is crazy, how life can change in an instant.
It has been almost 5 months since my last rescan. After myself and my specialists had come to a decision to discontinue rescanning what had already shown signs of growing back. Unfortunately, over the past month, new symptoms had to urgently be addressed. Yet, the inability to manage new symptoms had my specialists scrambling to once again, rescan. Two cat scans using the same imaging equipment failed to show serious issues that had escalated over the past 5 months.
The results that were finally picked up by radiology using other imaging equipment..painfully damning as one-by-one...placed on the big screen.
Yesterday morning marks the beginning of a chapter that we both had dreaded for a very long time. We not only have a very long week ahead of us...next week. But there are decisions that now must be made. With not much time to make them. As we both bravely kept our composure at the hospital while being handed what I feel is a death sentence. We came home feeling defeated and most definitely, beyond devastated.
I can only hope that by sharing my journey over the years. That those whom also bravely put a smile on each and every day, always remember, that God only gives his strongest battles to his bravest angels.
Never give up. Never give in.