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The Road Before & After Surgery
October 8, 2017
Now...What?...
Mood:  not sure
Now Playing: Day 2834-Next GP Chapter... Turning Lemons Into Lemonade :)

 

The waiting game begins.

So much...for hospital physicians estimated guess on what the heck is going on with me. So much...for cat scan imaging coming back with absolutely zero, zip, zilch. Not once. But twice. So much...for this too shall pass...because it hasn't yet over the past 10 days.

The final radiology reports came back this morning. This after needing to be carefully read and reviewed by two other radiologists due to two separate cat scans failing to show a slue of problems. One big nightmare of a mess.

It's crazy to just sit here and think about how fast things have quickly progressed with my health. Literally in just a mere 5 months since my last rescan. At least back then things weren't not even a touch...this bad. In fact, the largest ovarian tumor is now more than doubled it's size. The lower portion of my small intestine as well has it's own serious connected problems going on that were not present just a mere 5 months ago. That is just 'some' of what was finally discovered using different imaging machinery at the hospital.

The toughest pill to swallow is the inability to take morphine due to causing even further GI issues. It worked really well in the hospital via IV. But then once I got home, three days later...my entire GI tract locked up on me. Now it's back to 24-hour pain and overwhelming discomfort until my team of specialists can figure out who needs to address which part of the damning radiology reports. The far bigger pill we might have to swallow...IF there is anything left that can be done. Instead of things just staying within the ovary after a failed attempt at a very high, maximum dose of radiation therapy. Everything has now quickly spread like wildfire, out of nowhere. I still am lost for words, yet thankful to have some sort of voice here on this blog. The only place where I will talk about the huge elephant in the room with regards to my health. Elephants'...plural now.

It's all really a HUGE, GINOROUS, damning of a shame.

If you are wondering what the heck is going on with this blog. I am still in the middle of transitioning this blog over to a new website. Becoming this sick, out of nowhere, sure didn't help out matters. It's hard to find more than an hour to refocus myself from the pain and place my attention towards the new website. A new home for this blog that won't continue crashing due to the inability to handle high volume server requests. The current webserver is still overcoming some serious issues. As once again...the blog has crashed while I am waiting for engineer assistance. Thanks to everyone for being patient as soon enough, this blog will have it's new home. YAYYYY! Something positive during a really dark time for myself and Eric.

It's been tough over the past two weeks. We have no clue what to expect, whether alone what to anticipate come tomorrow morning. It's like a really bad version of, "Anything Goes," by Florida Georgia Line.

Now what?... Who knows.

 

 


Posted by GastroparesisAwarenessCampaignOrg. at 11:03 PM EDT
Updated: October 8, 2017 11:07 PM EDT
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October 7, 2017
Never Give Up...Never Give In.
Mood:  hug me
Now Playing: Day 2833-Next GP Chapter... Turning Lemons Into Lemonade :)

 

Not one...but 2 cat scans over the course of a mere month.

Both failed to pick up not just the existing tumors. But more than what we could had ever anticipated. This is what happens when oncology treatments don't work. This is what happens when you begin staring down death.

Yesterday morning...7:30am. The phone calls began. I already knew deep down in my heart that the news wasn't going to be good. Myself and Eric already knew due to symptoms that are continuing to only get worse. The pain was off the charts yesterday morning into the early evening hours. I hardly got any sleep. That makes two of us. There was no need for me to pick up the phone. It can wait until we head up to the hospital later that morning. Facing the music of what lies ahead.

Isn't is crazy, how life can change in an instant. 

It has been almost 5 months since my last rescan. After myself and my specialists had come to a decision to discontinue rescanning what had already shown signs of growing back. Unfortunately, over the past month, new symptoms had to urgently be addressed. Yet, the inability to manage new symptoms had my specialists scrambling to once again, rescan. Two cat scans using the same imaging equipment failed to show serious issues that had escalated over the past 5 months.

The results that were finally picked up by radiology using other imaging equipment..painfully damning as one-by-one...placed on the big screen.

Yesterday morning marks the beginning of a chapter that we both had dreaded for a very long time. We not only have a very long week ahead of us...next week. But there are decisions that now must be made. With not much time to make them. As we both bravely kept our composure at the hospital while being handed what I feel is a death sentence. We came home feeling defeated and most definitely, beyond devastated.

I can only hope that by sharing my journey over the years. That those whom also bravely put a smile on each and every day, always remember, that God only gives his strongest battles to his bravest angels.

Never give up. Never give in.

 


Posted by GastroparesisAwarenessCampaignOrg. at 1:16 AM EDT
Updated: October 8, 2017 10:19 PM EDT
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October 6, 2017
Sometimes...
Mood:  bright
Now Playing: Day 2832-Next GP Chapter... Turning Lemons Into Lemonade :)

 

Sometimes...all you can do...is shake your head.

Yesterday evening, after a long day at the hospital. We sat down to discuss what might be ahead of us this morning. When final reports come back from radiology. What ends up in the hands of my specialists. Not only were we both mentally spent after a very long day. But as well, I was still dealing with the knife sheering pain, nausea and vomiting.

10:30pm. Just when we are finally able to sit down and relax. After the first round of some very strong pain medication. A text message runs across the screen of my cell phone.

It is very sad that we had to deal with a parent sending us a threatening text message yesterday evening. When all we wanted to do was finally be able to relax before needing to be back at the hospital this morning. All we both could do...was shake our heads. After knowing issues with my health that started as a young child that have progressed as now...an adult. It is very sad that of all people. A parent fails to understand that stress does only one thing when you are sick. It only makes matters worse. Not better.

What is even more disheartening...is when Eric had to finally get to the point of calling the local police department in hopes of having assistance to stop the threats via text message that went into another war of words on the phone. It's one thing to send a threatening text message. Yet, it's another thing to do so again on the phone. When the person starting it happens to be a parent. Eric was already emotionally charged with what we had yet to learn from radiology reports. All I can say...is how extremely disappointed that we both are that any parent would further subject their adult child to more stress. We have enough to deal with right now. We didn't need any further stress.

Physically...my body can't handle anymore of the same ole song & dance with dysfunctional family issues. The door must remain closed. As we ask for those whom have been contacting us to no longer do so with regards to family. For those who have continued to ask. No. We will not be attending any family wedding over this weekend.

We vow to continue focusing our full attention to serious matters at hand. We also vow to remain diligent to live the rest of our lives as peacefully as possible. Moving forward...happily ever after.

There is not one single thing nor one single person in this world worth taking away your happiness. Never allow anyone to steal your smile. Life is far too short for any pettiness.

 

 

 


Posted by GastroparesisAwarenessCampaignOrg. at 12:01 AM EDT
Updated: October 7, 2017 12:33 AM EDT
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October 5, 2017
A Little Message...Behind The Dime :)
Mood:  d'oh
Now Playing: Day 2831-Next GP Chapter... Turning Lemons Into Lemonade :)

 

Toss, turn, toss, turn.

I dreaded this day. Eric dreaded this day. What I dreaded most...was once again falling naïve to something that I should had known better.

Another scan...two in less than 30 days that showed absolutely nothing. WHAT?!? Could it really be some sort of miraculous miracle? Prayers answered? Or is this just some sort of fluke with the same piece of high-tech machinery? Two separate cat scans. Both failed to show the internal war within. Yet...blood work reports from in and out of state showing otherwise. Metastasized tumors. Things spreading to the point of symptoms that have not only continued. But have gotten far worse in a matter of a week.

Clearly...not only were my specialists dumbfounded. But so were the radiologists who could not locate the tumors with the same imaging equipment, cat scan. Even the largest ovarian tumor that evaded all possible oncology treatments. Unfortunately, I once again fell victim of being totally naïve. Believing that somehow, I was miraculously cured. Possibly even by the power of prayer. Sure, I do believe in those kinds of miracles. I believe there is a God. I also believe in angels.

This morning was the start of a very long morning. An even longer afternoon. Followed by a very shattering evening. All of my hopes...quickly crashing down. How dumb was I? To be so naïve. We are scheduled back to the hospital tomorrow. To face the music of a very long journey. Quickly spiraling out of control as the tumors were ironically found by the hospital radiologists today. A long process of finding the right imaging equipment that could see through organs all fused together. Hiding the internal war within. So far, we were only told that things looked far worse. On top of the largest tumor literally twisting the lower portion of my intestines while pushing upwards on other surrounding organs. Another infection that quickly spread which meant more IV treatments and pain medication so I can be a bit more comfortable.

Who I am most disappointed in...myself. How naïve to believe that somehow I was cured by some miraculous intervention. Yes, I always tend to be extremely hard on myself. Chalk it up to the fighter within. I have given it everything that I have got over the past 15 months. Maybe I was even a bit naïve to believe that somehow things wouldn't get worse until much further down the road. Not as predicted by my team of oncologists, 12-24 months. Disappointed...isn't the word. Defeated...feels much more appropriate. As my specialists...once again...quickly scramble to get the infection under control. Along with some sort of pain medication that doesn't make matters worse with my obsolete GI motility.

I am left with one question...when does this all end?.

Even us strong gals have our breaking point. Yes, it's perfectly okay not only to express yourself, your feelings, your opinions. Contrary to what family always told me...that it isn't okay to express yourself by any means. It's also perfectly normal. But most importantly, it's very healthy and beneficial to cry your eyes out. As I did once we got back home from the hospital. There is so much that I still want to accomplish with my life. Two online businesses I have yet to finish. After just receiving the approval for a temporary work permit. Sometimes...it feels as if everything comes crashing down at once. But I know in the end...I can chose, once again, to fight with everything I have left inside me. Or...I can choose to give up a very brave battle. The choice is solely mine for the taking. We all know that I don't give up that easily. But I fully anticipate that the road ahead most definitely won't be an easy one.

A little message behind the dime that I found while waiting to be taken back...

A sign to keep fighting from papa J


Posted by GastroparesisAwarenessCampaignOrg. at 11:59 PM EDT
Updated: October 6, 2017 11:38 PM EDT
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October 4, 2017
ALWAYS Know Your Worth! :)
Mood:  a-ok
Now Playing: Day 2830-Next GP Chapter... Turning Lemons Into Lemonade :)

 

What we have learned over the past several years...is that family is made up of those by your own choosing. Family does not always have to be blood related. Family can be made up of friends, loved ones, and even what started out as kindness from a stranger.

Family is made up by those who lift you up, when you are down. Who put a smile upon your face. Instead of a frown. Those who love you...no matter what...unconditionally.

As once again, another once-in-a-lifetime event. We find ourselves uninvited, being excluded as family members. Another nieces wedding. We have finally also come to realize that some chapters in life...need to remain closed.

Family is family of your own choosing. It doesn't always have to be connected by blood.

Respect yourself and love yourself enough...to never accept being treated as anyone or anything less.

 

EHW


Posted by GastroparesisAwarenessCampaignOrg. at 12:01 AM EDT
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October 3, 2017
Everything Is Always....SCARIER...In The Country! ;)
Mood:  cheeky
Now Playing: Day 2829-Next GP Chapter... Turning Lemons Into Lemonade :)

 

With having a few days before needing to be back at the hospital. It's time for some serious R&R...

Time to take it easy and enjoy a little bit of fall fun too! Well...why not?

It is OCTOBERBOO!!

Everything and I mean...EVERYTHING is always bigger in the country! Ask Eric, he will tell you that everything also tastes a million times better in the country when it comes to food! It might be due to 'less is more,' when it comes to a large city population vs. a far less populated area in the country. Less crowds, less supply and demand means fresh food! It might also mean weight gain...but it's fall folks! Nothing wrong with making sure you have a little extra warmth for the upcoming winter months! We are quite the opposite though when it comes to our weight. We struggle with keeping the pounds on through out the entire year. Eric...mainly due to a very high metabolism. Myself...the need to stay on liquids. What my body can handle and has proven over the years to do best with when it comes to gastroparesis. If I didn't have to worry about what I can eat...this would be the most ideal little, lazy, river town to eat to my hearts content! Restaurants, fast food, festivals and far too much access to all sorts of tasty goods~OH MY!

What we also continue to realize when it comes to living in the country...EEEEEEYIKESSSSS!!

Yep, even some things are far better NOT bigger in the country! Hahahahaha! 

With Halloween quickly on it's way! The scares are hands-down BIGGER here in the country! Compared to back in Ohio, living within a big city. I may not be much for scary stuff, but who can't resist building a little country scare or two?.

BOO!


Posted by GastroparesisAwarenessCampaignOrg. at 12:01 AM EDT
Updated: October 4, 2017 3:00 AM EDT
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October 2, 2017
R-o-l-l-i-n-g With The Punches...
Mood:  a-ok
Now Playing: Day 2828-Next GP Chapter... Turning Lemons Into Lemonade :)

 

What I have learned the most out of life?

Expect the unexpected.

Sometimes...even the best executed plans...don't always go as planned.

As we anticipated my second surgical round this morning. Something else decided to also rear it's ugly head on the big screen. We were told to expect things to once again come full circle after one failed attempt after another with oncology treatments. Even the maximum dose of radiation therapy failed to work in my favor. That was a little over 15 months ago. My oncologist told us to expect things to get worse over time...a period between 12-24 months.

Over the past 15 months. What I have learned to be most thankful for are the good days! Days when I have a chance to escape my reality. Time to be free from any and all restraints in front of me...medically.

I have learned a lot over the past 15 months. Maybe sometimes...a bit too much. What I have also learned is that those who will hurt you the most...are usually and unfortunately...family. What we have learned is the undeniable kindness when it comes to strangers. Even friends who never falter. Regardless of how much things can sometimes feel beyond monotonous. What we have also learned over the past 15 months is the power that comes with letting go...even with family. What does not serve you well. Will always be replaced with people who will love you unconditionally. Family is made up of those by your choosing, it doesn't need to always be bound by blood. Family...is family.

I have learned more than the cyber world can allow to write as far as this blog. I have lived, learned, grown and matured by the struggles we have endured. I have learned to even embrace what can never be defied. If I had a choice. I would much rather choose breast cancer over ovarian cancer any day of the week. Needless to say...I wouldn't expect anyone to understand. Unless you took a walk in my shoes. Our shoes. It hasn't been any easier on Eric through out this rollercoaster ride of a journey.

Somehow...someway...we still continue to weather the storm. Doing so...together.

If things couldn't had gone more the complete opposite of what was planned during this second round at the hospital. Imagine my face when we were told that I would have to undergo round 3 later this week. Ummmm...this week?!? Here's the problem with carefully planned events that involve major life changes. Like...an already scheduled date for a major television show taping. Ummmm...like having to be on the plane by later this week.

This is where always remaining pessimistic most definitely comes into play! It's one thing to anticipate ongoing issues with my health. But to have it happen during all times...this week. Was most definitely not expected. It's a good thing we were handed the news while I was still tanked from the good stuff filtering through my veins. Bah!

 Thank goodness for a production manager that already understands the uniqueness when it comes to my health. Thank goodness for having another chance at a later date to start this new chapter in my life! Another show taping and airlines booked for two at a later date. Thank...YOU!!!

For now...I have hit another huge hurdle that I must jump when it comes to existing issues with my health. This means time to do everything that I possibly can to get back on my feet. It's a good thing that I can honestly say...been THERE! done THAT!

Time and time and time and time, again.

 Lucky, is being the strong gal that I am enough to understand that things like today do happen. God willing, we got a second chance to open the door to an amazing, once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. We just have to wait a little bit and work a lot harder than most. But things happen. Life happens when least expected.

  As long as you keep rolling with the punches...everything will be a-l-r-i-g-h-t~


Posted by GastroparesisAwarenessCampaignOrg. at 12:01 AM EDT
Updated: October 4, 2017 2:22 AM EDT
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October 1, 2017
THE OFFICIAL KICK-OFF BEGINS!! :)
Mood:  celebratory
Now Playing: Day 2827-Next GP Chapter... Turning Lemons Into Lemonade :)

 

YAYYYYY!

THE OFFICIAL KICK-OFF BEGINS!!

What a magnificently most B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L day to begin this years huge Gastroparesis Awareness event! Beautiful partly cloudy skies, perfect fall temperatures and even a gentle breeze in the air...PERFECT! PERFECTO! It doesn't get any better than this folks when it comes to the start of our month-long Gastroparesis Awareness event!

The final shirt orders have been filled and successfully on their way to those who will be walking, running and riding for Gastroparesis Awareness. Talking about PERFECT timing! YAYYYY! From a small idea that began over 8 years ago. To now a HUGE annual event!

Thanks to YOU! Thanks to EVERYONE who will be participating during this years United GP Walk-2017!

YOU! Yes...YOU have made this another successful year raising Gastroparesis Awareness one person at a time!

It's official! As of today, October 1st, the OFFICIAL KICK-OFF for international Gastroparesis Awareness begins!!

Please don't forget your cameras during your Gastroparesis Awareness event and send all shared photos to:

Gastroparesis Awareness Campaign Org.

gpawarenessfund@yahoo.com

 


Posted by GastroparesisAwarenessCampaignOrg. at 12:01 AM EDT
Updated: October 2, 2017 1:39 AM EDT
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September 30, 2017
Most Importantly...Blessed.
Mood:  lucky
Now Playing: Day 2826-Next GP Chapter... Turning Lemons Into Lemonade :)

 

Talking about a royal PAIN in my booty!

Not only is this blog continuing to experience more crashes than a major NASCAR event...but as well the main Gastroparesis Awareness Campaign website is having one dandy of a time keeping up with the overwhelming web traffic.

Needless to say...there is something else I need to kick into full steam ahead on my already growing 'To-Do list' of a million projects that need to be completed within the next few months. GEESH!

What I had forgotten about over the years is just how difficult and time consuming it truly is when starting a new website. Whether alone...starting not just one. But two online businesses..

It has officially been a little over 11 years since the last time this gal had the ability to work. Physically. Trust me by saying, it has been a long, windy, one HELL of a road to realizing a mere dream that is slowly becoming a reality. Eric is still in total shock that I was able to overturn my SSD case in hopes of another chance to work again. A temporary work permit that will allow for me to work from home. Finally realizing my hopes and dreams that will finally have a name, place and home when it comes to online businesses. I am SUPER EXCITED to see what the future may hold for our ENTIRE little family!

As with any business. You can most certainly expect the unexpected. As with most areas of my life. I am going into two new ventures with absolutely zero expectations. If one works and the other fails...then so be it. If both fail...then as well...so be it. Why do I feel this way? Because at the end of the day. At least I can say that I tried. And trying is only half of the battle when it comes to any new business venture. I believe the other half is the ability to purely be able to step outside of your own shoes. Looking at your business from a clients perspective. And always being your biggest critic! That is a must! Don't worry about the grass on the other side. Set your bar high by always keeping your focus on one person and one person only. Yourself.

Over the past 11 years of not working. Having to physically and mentally leave the work place after receiving a very high, quite prestigious promotion. Working along side the Vice-President of a very reputable sunglass manufacturer. It was during that time over the past 11 years that I learned how to swallow my pride. I have also learned how to appreciate the smaller things in life. In the process, I have learned that in any given second. Life can forever change from what you used to know. Normalcy lost, but never truly gone. Over the years, I have also watched those who run and own businesses that used to be successful. But what happened next unfortunately happens on far too many occasions as greed takes over what used to be quality. Now every bit about...quantity$$$. God knows I never plan on allowing my head to get bigger than my heart. Especially after everything this gal has struggled through physically and financially. Amen.

When it comes to Facebook and other forms of social media. The biggest mistake any business owner can make is mixing business with pleasure. The mere cringe of those who run any type of business and then act like a blatant drunken fool with live social media videos and other live feeds. Worse...are the business owners who use their social media accounts for personal and business pleasure. Nothing looks crazier than when a paying client gets to see the business owners constant rants and raves. Especially when the rants and raves are against their own paying customer(s). What happened to the days when employees feared for their lives when a mere phone call warning meant that the business owner was paying an unexpected visit?. Seems the only time you see that happen in this day and age is when it comes to reality television shows such as, 'Undercover Boss.'

Maybe I see life through a completely different set of eyes from overwhelming and sometimes extremely uncomfortable lessons that needed to be learned. The hard way. At the end of the day... I refuse to be one of today's typical business owners. I refuse to be the norm.

There is so much more to share with regards to my upcoming ventures. There are not enough words to begin to express how truly fortunate I am to have this chance and rare opportunity. Even while still battling the internal war within. I am not only extremely lucky. But most importantly...

Blessed.

 


Posted by GastroparesisAwarenessCampaignOrg. at 12:01 AM EDT
Updated: October 2, 2017 1:11 AM EDT
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September 29, 2017
ONE GIANT STEP CLOSER!
Mood:  celebratory
Now Playing: Day 2825-Next GP Chapter... Turning Lemons Into Lemonade :)

 

How does that old saying go?..

"We've come a long way!"

More like...A very l-o-n-g ways!

I am proud to say that we are down to the very last when it comes to the inside portion of our massive house~flip! The tiny little touches of some quite tricky detailing with the kitchen window and living room fireplace. I was successfully able to finally finish up not only the kitchen and living room. But as well I am on my way when it comes to the final bedroom that sustained the most structural damage due to an improperly installed reinforced wall located below in the basement. Go figure! The room that we anticipated to be the most difficult. Has already started off as the easiest out of the entire upstairs portion of our home.

BAH! Always the opposite of what you expect!

Sure, we still have some ceiling repairs to deal with before the cold winter months are quickly upon us here in the country. But thankfully the far bigger projects are finally complete. YAYYYY! Talking about a team of two kicking some major repairing, repainting and remodeling booty! We are on a ROLL! And we don't plan on stopping anytime soon! Even if unforeseen issues arise with my health. Yes...I haven't forgotten about the internal war within. But one thing is for certain. I am beyond thankful to have caught a break or two while tackling on our major house~flip. AMEN to that!!

As we have officially taken one GIANT

 step closer to our final move and destination....

~NEVADA


Posted by GastroparesisAwarenessCampaignOrg. at 12:01 AM EDT
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