Mood:
not sureNow Playing: Day 2834-Next GP Chapter... Turning Lemons Into Lemonade :)
The waiting 
game begins.
So much...for hospital physicians estimated guess on what the heck is going on with me. So much...for cat scan imaging coming back with absolutely zero, zip, zilch. Not once. But twice. So much...for this too shall pass...because it hasn't yet over the past 10 days.
The final radiology reports came back this morning. This after needing to be carefully read and reviewed by two other radiologists due to two separate cat scans failing to show a slue of problems. One big nightmare of a mess.
It's crazy to just sit here and think about how fast things have quickly progressed with my health. Literally in just a mere 5 months since my last rescan. At least back then things weren't not even a touch...this bad. In fact, the largest ovarian tumor is now more than doubled it's size. The lower portion of my small intestine as well has it's own serious connected problems going on that were not present just a mere 5 months ago. That is just 'some' of what was finally discovered using different imaging machinery at the hospital.
The toughest pill to swallow is the inability to take morphine due to causing even further GI issues. It worked really well in the hospital via IV. But then once I got home, three days later...my entire GI tract locked up on me. Now it's back to 24-hour pain and overwhelming discomfort until my team of specialists can figure out who needs to address which part of the damning radiology reports. The far bigger pill we might have to swallow...IF there is anything left that can be done. Instead of things just staying within the ovary after a failed attempt at a very high, maximum dose of radiation therapy. Everything has now quickly spread like wildfire, out of nowhere. I still am lost for words, yet thankful to have some sort of voice here on this blog. The only place where I will talk about the huge elephant in the room with regards to my health. Elephants'...plural now.
It's all really a HUGE, GINOROUS, damning of a shame.
If you are wondering what the heck is going on with this blog. I am still in the middle of transitioning this blog over to a new website. Becoming this sick, out of nowhere, sure didn't help out matters. It's hard to find more than an hour to refocus myself from the pain and place my attention towards the new website. A new home for this blog that won't continue crashing due to the inability to handle high volume server requests. The current webserver is still overcoming some serious issues. As once again...the blog has crashed while I am waiting for engineer assistance. Thanks to everyone for being patient as soon enough, this blog will have it's new home. YAYYYY! Something positive during a really dark time for myself and Eric.
It's been tough over the past two weeks. We have no clue what to expect, whether alone what to anticipate come tomorrow morning. It's like a really bad version of, "Anything Goes," by Florida Georgia Line.
Now what?... Who knows.
hug me
Yesterday morning...7:30am. The phone calls began. I already knew deep down in my heart that the news wasn't going to be good. Myself and Eric already knew due to symptoms that are continuing to only get worse. The pain was off the charts yesterday morning into the early evening hours. I hardly got any sleep. That makes two of us. There was no need for me to pick up the phone. It can wait until we head up to the hospital later that morning. Facing the music of what lies ahead.
It has been almost 5 months since my last rescan. After myself and my specialists had come to a decision to discontinue rescanning what had already shown signs of growing back. Unfortunately, over the past month, new symptoms had to urgently be addressed. Yet, the inability to manage new symptoms had my specialists scrambling to once again, rescan. Two cat scans using the same imaging equipment failed to show serious issues that had escalated over the past 5 months.
bright
d'oh
cheeky
BOO!!
Everything and I mean...EVERYTHING is always bigger in the country! Ask Eric, he will tell you that everything also tastes a million times better in the country when it comes to food! It might be due to 'less is more,' when it comes to a large city population vs. a far less populated area in the country. Less crowds, less supply and demand means fresh food! It might also mean weight gain...but it's fall folks! Nothing wrong with making sure you have a little extra warmth for the upcoming winter months! We are quite the opposite though when it comes to our weight. We struggle with keeping the pounds on through out the entire year. Eric...mainly due to a very high metabolism. Myself...the need to stay on liquids. What my body can handle and has proven over the years to do best with when it comes to gastroparesis. If I didn't have to worry about what I can eat...this would be the most ideal little, lazy, river town to eat to my hearts content! Restaurants, fast food, festivals and far too much access to all sorts of tasty goods~OH MY! 
YIKESSSSS!!
a-ok
I have learned more than the cyber world can allow to write as far as this blog. I have lived, learned, grown and matured by the struggles we have endured. I have learned to even embrace what can never be defied. If I had a choice. I would much rather choose breast cancer over ovarian cancer any day of the week. Needless to say...I wouldn't expect anyone to understand. Unless you took a walk in my shoes. Our shoes. It hasn't been any easier on Eric through out this rollercoaster ride of a journey. 
This is where always remaining pessimistic most definitely comes into play! It's one thing to anticipate ongoing issues with my health. But to have it happen during all times...this week. Was most definitely not expected. It's a good thing we were handed the news while I was still tanked from the good stuff filtering through my veins. Bah!
celebratory
What a magnificently most B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L day to begin this years huge Gastroparesis Awareness event! Beautiful partly cloudy skies, perfect fall temperatures and even a gentle breeze in the air...PERFECT! PERFECTO! It doesn't get any better than this folks when it comes to the start of our month-long Gastroparesis Awareness event!
The final shirt orders have been filled and successfully on their way to those who will be walking, running and riding for Gastroparesis Awareness. Talking about PERFECT timing! YAYYYY! From a small idea that began over 8 years ago. To now a HUGE annual event! 
lucky
I am proud to say that we are down to the very last when it comes to the inside portion of our massive house~flip! The tiny little touches of some quite tricky detailing with the kitchen window and living room fireplace. I was successfully able to finally finish up not only the kitchen and living room. But as well I am on my way when it comes to the final bedroom that sustained the most structural damage due to an improperly installed reinforced wall located below in the basement. Go figure! The room that we anticipated to be the most difficult. Has already started off as the easiest out of the entire upstairs portion of our home. 
~NEVADA
rushed