Now Playing: Day 2748-Next GP Chapter... Turning Lemons Into Lemonade :)
It's an early morning "RISE N' SHINE" here in the country
I love watching the sunrise! Especially coming from a prior night owl. Now I sleep when my body needs the sleep. Good days present great achievements all around the house with continued repairs and various other projects. Painting is my specialty! But today it was about taking it easy.
If it were up to my brain. Our house would had been flipped in a mere 4-weeks!
Today was an anything, but a normal sleep schedule kind of day. We were super busy with appointments and keeping on top of contractors coming and going by our home warranty company. We continue to be lucky that more than half of the issues with our home are being covered under warranty. Other issues...Well. We aren't so lucky, but all good things, in all good timing! Some might just take a bit longer than others.
This morning I finally decided to speak to a family attorney per request by my LC. And since she is a permalink blog reader. I will be respecting her wishes to be called, "LC." Life Coach. I have heard of some through out my lifetime mentioning about utilizing a life coach. But I really didn't fully understand the profession. I am new to this sort of different avenue that I have decided to take in order to change my life for the better. I was told by my LC that it won't be easy. But all of the hard work will be worth it! So as I continue to set my bar high for myself. Becoming a bigger and far better person than yesterday, last week, last month, last year. I can only hope that all of the positive changes that I make for myself. Might inspire others along the way to make positive changes within their own lives.
Happiness Begins With You
It has been a really stressful, physically overwhelming, past 5 years and 10 months. Still counting. But now I need no longer count any further. After a visit this morning with my specialist to go over recent tests and labs. I was presented with a one-time warning. Levels that came back at their lowest. A very dangerous low. As my specialist sat myself and Eric down in front of their long desk. I was presented with an abundance of knowledge. I took that knowledge, along with my test results to my LC later this afternoon. I also called back the family law attorney. Her recommendations were absolutely in line with what honestly needs to be done. What has needed to be done for quite some time.
Let it be. Fully. Let it be.
Per my LC's request. I brought my laptop to our appointment. A meeting she says of the minds. Having a life coach is different than any type of therapy or therapist. A life coach helps you to make important, yet very positive changes within your life. That includes physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, dietary and even changes that must happen with relationships. Today was about not just embracing a legal name change. But as well embracing the beginnings of starting on a fresh slate. Respecting the new name, the new me and moving forward from the past. "Let it be." My LC, as well therapist also have full access to my blog. What better way to get to know someone's life than by reading about their life. As well stories submitted by many others. Raw emotions. Some even very high emotions. There are pages that were presented to me today regarding blogs expressing raw, deep emotions of hurt. Expressed by expressions of the heart. The past 5 years, 10 months have been nothing but pure, living, hell of the worst kind. I am not talking about physical health. But being eliminated as any family member. Abandoned, disowned, terminated, whatever you want to call it. You can call it what you want, but I call it the ultimate act of betrayal. And there is no turning back.
Today we continued taking the steps, together, in order to, "Let it be."
So...As I opened my laptop. One by one, what no longer has served me well, will here on out...No longer be. I was never much for emailing. What belongs as far as email accounts to the Gastroparesis Awareness Campaign have been closely monitored for any emails sent by anyone whom is to no longer contact that email account. Personal email accounts have now been deleted. Instead, we opened one single, new account for bills and other limited personal matters. What has not served me well, can no longer be part of these new changes within my life, moving forward. When you are no longer part of any family or relatives lives. You learn to quickly adapt and move on. For some, it's not a choice. It is a must. Over the past 2 years it had only become easier for myself and Eric. We had already started new traditions under our roof with our own little family. Terminating final connections for any family member with any family is something that sometimes has to be done. There are choices that you must make in your life that must be. For anyone on the outside, looking in. They are as such. ON the outside. Not on the inside. As my LC so carefully explained, "It is no longer a healthy relationship. Nothing will ever change. Some families don't feel they owe any sort of apology. Let it be."
I only have one social media account on Facebook. I never used messenger or any other android apps for Facebook for a very long time after my last phone ended up having viruses attached by some of the apps. I since then deleted all social media apps. But in order to move on from the past. You first must deal with the past. As we opened my Facebook account, to once again see a high number at the top of the alert bar. We opened and viewed the offline messenger, messages together. One particular message from an individual caught the attention of my eye. But I have learned over the years to not open up anything from this absent relative. So instead my LC read it with my approval. As she deleted the message with my approval. She looked at me and said, "You are right. It was no apology." Then we moved on to blocking those whom no longer serve me well on every single internet level, as well with my phone carrier. If I am to sever ties and make peace with the past. Then clearly I need to let things be.
What was, can no longer be.
Before I filed for my divorce. I was told by a blood relative that if the spouse did not file for divorce. Then I need to do so, because if I didn't, it would look bad after what they did to the family. It's strange now to put all the pieces together. To finally realize with help from professionals that want to see good come out of a bad situation. Such an act of deception and betrayal by any family contacting any ex or ex-spouse behind their own family members back. Without the family members knowledge or approval. It is the ultimate act of deceit. There would never be a future when any family continues welcoming the past. There will never be any sort of healthy future for any ex or ex-spouse who has a current or possible future relationship if they so desperately want to continue acting like they are still married to their ex. Attaching themselves to any ex's family. Worse when you hear that any ex believes they are still married, an uncle, part of the ex's family. So many comment on how strange, bizarre, disrespectful and weird it looks with any ex doing such a thing. Eric spoke to a really good family law attorney this morning who told Eric point blank how this all works.
"When you have a family contacting an ex-spouse after any divorce proceeding. Not respecting and honoring the divorce decree by moving on with their lives because that ex is no longer part of their family. There is bound to be problems. But the ex should not respond and neither should the family respond to the ex. It is a level of respect that should be held for their family member who is no longer married to their spouse. Nothing the courts can do will ever change a thing when any family secretly contacts any ex-spouse without their family members knowledge. My suggestion is to severs all ties. When a ex is so fixated and desperate by any means to still be with the ex's family. Consider it a huge compliment! Maybe not so much if the ex has remarried or is currently in a new relationship. But it is a huge compliment for your wife!"
Eric...Heeheeheehee...He didn't take it as such. That is because he said if his family ever contacted an ex without his blessing, knowledge or consent. It wouldn't be lasting for very long. As for myself. I now see it differently. It is most definitely a very huge compliment!
Today has brought with it, many life lessons that I will apply to my future. Myself and Eric firmly agree with my LC that families just aren't like they used to be back in the day. We personally say it all of the time. But some lessons have to be learned the hard way and the consequences can be permanent when decisions must be made in order to move on and be fully happy. There will be no more holidays, dinners, gatherings, phone calls, letters, emails, gifts, nor any other casual contact by any means. That includes any type of funeral settings. What does not serve you well. Can no longer be.
As this evening, I finally was able to close the last and final door to a very long chapter. What goes on with any ex or any distant blood relatives is no longer my business. It is no longer our business. It is no longer any of our children's business. I will no longer answer nor entertain any information brought before me from anyone. That includes social media or any other form of internet mailings. It is no longer my business. We ask for respect and privacy as we continue placing down permanent boundaries so we may continue moving forward...Happily. There were no painting projects for me this evening. Instead I decided to take a break. Time for an evening of nothing, but pure peace.
I took a deep sigh...Smiled with relief. Finally. I am free. Free to be...Me.