Mood:
chillin'Now Playing: Day 2724-Next GP Chapter... Turning Lemons Into Lemonade :)
It's taken me quite a few days to slowly ease up the pain from routine testing.
My last scan.
I have been doing my best to somehow maneuver through the pain. But it hasn't come without the need of taking new medication. Pain medication. Morphine. The good stuff. I have only been taking it at night in order to help me get some sleep. Between the largest tumor growing larger, other tumors slowly becoming larger and the uncontrollable intestinal pain from everything wrapped around in one huge mess. I feel pretty darn good about how well I have tolerated everything so far. The pain.
We have been only utilizing FMLA time when desperately needed. One never knows when the next complication might arise, as well no one is for certain how fast the tumors will continue growing. That is the hard part...Not knowing. One can't predict. No one can predict. We can only go by the symptoms and the need to somehow control the pain. On top of everything. I have a lot of things in my past that I need to put in the past. Permanently. My therapist feels that it is very important that I finally allow myself to go through all the emotions of what had transpired over the past several years. Most importantly...Over the past five years. I have bottled up a lot. Then there were other issues that I never had time to really react. I was too busy trying to stay on top of my health. I had far too many more important things to worry about. Like keeping up with the good fight.
I have been trying to think of an activity that I enjoy. Besides watching all of the beautiful wildlife during the morning and evening hours from my couchbed window. Something to help me process what I have gone through over the past several years. Ironically, I used to not like painting. But with age...Comes change of what one used to not like. But now...Enjoy. Painting is relaxing to me. It's also an activity that doesn't require much physical strength and when you need to take a break. You can take a break. 
Pace yourself. I had just finished up painting the rental home back in Ohio less than a year ago. But that was a rental. We now own a home. Not rent. I decided that come tomorrow. I will start the project of painting our entire house. Yes, the entire house. We have so much paint that we never used and I heard that most of the HGTV-Sherwin Williams paint can last up to a year. All you have to do is take it back up to Lowe's and they will place it into their machine which mixes it back to the same fresh color. As if you just bought the paint. We have several cans of various colors of paint that we never used, among a few gift certificates to Lowe's that we were going to use last fall.
My therapist suggested I start a new project. Looks like painting it will be! An entire house that has suffered a lot of damage over the years. But hopefully now I can finish turning the many lemons we have found into something new and fresh!
Lemonade!
