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The Road Before & After Surgery
December 23, 2017
Ummmmm... Hmmmmm.....
Mood:  special
Now Playing: Day 2909-Chapter 3... Happiness~My Silver Lining


2:30am... POOF! No electric.

This doesn't happen very often. It has actually only happened twice since moving here from the city. Back across state lines in Ohio to be exact.

With such a nasty, rainy, windy morning. What's a little time in the dark going to hurt with a few trusty flashlights, twinkling lights from two battery operated small decorative Christmas trees and one large lantern for the fur gang? Absolutely... nothing.

That is... if you are truly alone. And if your not alone. Clearly that someone else is going to enjoy that bit of down time with you. HA! 

With my large flashlight laying just close enough to shine down on a few magazines that I have yet to read. I began enjoying the silence with the ambiance of tiny little Christmas tree lights twinkling around me. Just as I was about to start sifting through my second magazine. I got a really uneasy feeling come over me. You know... that overwhelming feeling as if you are not alone. It felt as if someone was standing right over my shoulder. Reading the magazine with me. Then POOF! That uneasy, high energy feeling was gone.

One shouldn't be so surprised after having such a really fascinating start to the morning. Not after receiving a delivery yesterday afternoon at exactly 1:11pm. Angel digits.

I had been expressing to Eric on how great it would be to receive a highly anticipated delivery before Christmas. The best gift of all was just about to make it's way into our home. And ironically... someone else must had been just as excited for me to receive this delivery. History in the most purest form... through a camera lens.

I never had the opportunity to meet my great grandparents. Nor many other extended family members from decades ago. Back in the day when folks used to dress to the nines. Fancy isn't the word! Even during some of the hardest historic times... World War II and The Great Depression. One thing that was evident through photo after photo were the many smiles upon so many faces. During a time when most families struggled, yet found the time to still celebrate life... together.

Having the opportunity to become one with the past is such a priceless gift. Finally having the opportunity to put faces to so many of those whom I never got the chance to meet... family. All wrapped up in a big brown box. Delivered at exactly 1:11pm.

Not only could you smell the history through each and every page of old black and white photos. But it seems as if those smiling faces were attached somehow to that brown box which I placed in front of our Christmas tree. A room that I call the most magical room of the house filled with the most happiest holiday decorations!

At 4:30am... the electric came back on and so ended a few hours of pure peace that filled our entire home. It wasn't but a mere few minutes after making my rounds around the house to reset clocks that operate on electricity before that uneasy feeling began to once again surround me. This time, I wasn't going to just stand there without my camera in hand. As I continued walking around the house, there was a feeling of being drawn into the Christmas tree room. Once I opened the door an overwhelming draft greeted me and so did someone on the camera who appeared to be decorating our largest Christmas tree. Where else? Right in front of the brown box filled with old family photos and other fond memories.

How IRONIC is that!

Not only was I able to capture a photo. But I was also able to capture this incredibly happy spirit in the most purest form. While decorating our Christmas tree. To make sure that I was not only feeling, but seeing first hand what was clearly visible on the screen. I said, "Hello!" Then asked them to raise their right hand if they were helping to decorate our tree and most importantly... if they could see me.

There really are no words to describe the entire moment captured on video and a few still photos. An amazing video that a few friends viewed just a mere hour ago before heading on the open road to visit their own families for the holidays. Their response was one with shock and awe that possibly... that box of history brought with it... family.

This is another reason why the new website for this blog will continue to proceed ahead. A hopeful welcome for a new year with video capability so I can share what we continue to capture when least expected. Sure, there are some who will continue to doubt, skeptics. There are also those don't believe in the afterlife. And you know what? That is their right in their beliefs. The ability to still be present in time with loved ones by visiting in spirit, energy or another way that can't be explained. Not of this world. Those who believe do understand without saying a word. Then there are those much like myself. Those with a special gift. The ability to connect.

At the end of the last photo album. In the very back was a special gift waiting to be opened. The only two photos in color. Two siblings, although very unique and quite different in their own special ways. Still one in the same with two very proud parents smiling down from heaven. 

Believe in the magic of Christmas~


Posted by GastroparesisAwarenessCampaignOrg. at 7:00 AM EST
Updated: December 23, 2017 7:12 AM EST
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December 22, 2017
Visiting Loved Ones During Christmas
Mood:  special
Now Playing: Day 2908-Chapter 3... Happiness~My Silver Lining


Guess what's getting ready to make it's way here in the country? Of course... besides Santa... silly!

Rain, rain and more rain.


So much for the beautiful white snow that was once forecasted in hopes of having a white Christmas. Mother Nature must had a funny moment with another grand end of year teaser! I can do without the rain, especially when we continue to deal with a foundation, once again, shifting down the wooded hillside. You know what that means for our near future? More repairs, more money and more unnecessary time spent on a house of many hidden lemon gems. This gal is done with repairing, repainting and redecorating. The remainder of this year and through the winter season, I am on official hibernation. Hahahahaha! Actually... I am pretty gosh darn serious. I plan on honoring my body a much needed break. Time for some serious downtime!

With days constantly filled with issues that need our urgent attention. We both had our blonde moment. One assumed that on Christmas Eve we would finally be able to attend Candlelight church service. We went an entire two weeks assuming that Christmas Eve fell on Eric's rotating off-days from the Sheriff's Department. HA! Boy... were we wrong! Those weekend rotating off-days are not until the following weekend. Needless to say, thankfully we are pros when it comes to constant change.

So... we began the quick changes today by finishing up our visits with loved ones who are celebrating Christmas in heaven.

It's going to be a far different kind of Christmas this year for our little family. But no complaints, because so far this has been one of the most peaceful, joyful and fun-filled festive Christmas seasons yet! After our quite magical visit to place the remaining cute snowman figurines with loved ones. Christmas to me... has already been celebrated. I am content with once-in-a-lifetime moments that we have gotten to experience during this holiday season.

Our visit to the final cemetery in order to visit loved ones was one filled with a few of those once-in-a-lifetime moments. That ability to connect has only gotten stronger. It always feels good to have a really good day and be able to spend some time visiting loved ones. I most definitely believe that our loved ones can still hear us in a very spiritual sense. The energy was beyond thick and so was the prediction of Eric knowing an individual in the distance who was getting ready to honor a veteran during a memorial service. Eric who is also a veteran waved while we drove past the three gentleman. Only to hear someone yell, "Hey Dieck!" It was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for Eric to reconnect with his prior Sergeant First Class. How amazing is that! It was nice to see a really huge smile come over Eric's face. It was as if time stood still while they reminisced about time in the Army as the highly decorated Sergeant First Class brought to our attention about his upcoming retirement. What a rewarding job, honoring those who have proudly served our great country by providing a most respectful kind of service. A veteran's memorial service with a 21 gun salute.

That wasn't just one, but one of many really good moments out of our visit with loved ones who are celebrating Christmas in heaven.

It appears that a low tractor blade caused damage to the corners of not just my grandfathers memorial marker. But also to a dear couple next to my grandfather. After making a few calls, both will be repaired or replaced by the cemetery. I assume that maybe they figured since their passing was in the 1980's. And that no memorial or holiday trinkets were placed on the name markers. No one would notice. But we did. I think this goes to show that if you see something like this on any respected memorial marker. Make sure to call the cemetery office. They have insurance for a reason. I wouldn't have it any other way nor could I have left without reporting the damage as we placed a few remaining snowman figurine with my grandparents.

I remember years ago feeding huge catfish, possibly even some goldfish under this really pretty bridge that connects two sides of the cemetery. Ironically, I didn't forget the bread today and although we didn't see any fish. We did end up feeding a few feathered friends. It was nice to reminisce while spending time visiting loved ones on a most picture perfect, beautiful start of the winter season. I sure do miss how we all used to celebrate the holidays. But I know that their spirits still remain with me to this very day.

While we were at the cemetery, I envisioned a smiling grey haired older gentleman. He nudged me towards what appeared to be a funeral procession. I looked at Eric and said, "That's odd. He is so happy that his wife wore red. He really likes that she remembered to wear his favorite color." These are the times... that I really can't explain. But I know what I see and it can't be mistaken for what was about to happen next. As we stopped the car for the funeral procession. An elderly woman quickly jumped out of the car to greet the young gentleman taking the casket out of the silver hearse. The smiling woman hugged the young gentleman as she followed the casket right down to the burial site. Not only did I know this was his wife. But there she was... wearing his favorite color. Eric just sat there completely dumbfounded, pointing over to the elderly woman and said, "She's wearing red pants."

All I could do... was smile.

Posted by GastroparesisAwarenessCampaignOrg. at 12:01 AM EST
Updated: December 23, 2017 8:27 AM EST
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December 21, 2017
Mood:  surprised
Now Playing: Day 2907-Chapter 3... Happiness~My Silver Lining


I bet... I know where Santa's reindeer are at this very second!
The early morning sunrise visits never get old here in the country. Even reindeer need fed and plenty of water during the cold winter months. 
I recall a neighbor of ours telling me about one morning when they were drinking coffee and looking out their large living room window facing the wooded hillside to see over 25 deer. Seems they were waiting for me to come out and do my early morning feeding ritual. Funny enough... I never really look around when outside with my many different bright, comfy long robes on and mismatched slippers. Hahahaha!
One word... HILARIOUS!
Myself and Eric honestly found it quite hard to believe that over 25 deer literally wait for us every single morning since moving into our new home here in the country. But as of this morning... I counted at least 20 deer that magically appeared right after hearing the sounds of corn, deer chow and water at their feeding station. Hehehehehe!
I love animals! All animals! Just call me, Mother Wild. Eric does! HA! Animals have always brought me pure happiness during some of the darkest times of my life. As I continue taking care of them... they continue watching over me and our entire little family.
Thanks Santa for allowing your reindeer to come visit before they harness up to pull your sleigh on Christmas Eve. Delivering all the toys to good little children and their families. 


Posted by GastroparesisAwarenessCampaignOrg. at 12:01 AM EST
Updated: December 22, 2017 11:26 AM EST
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December 20, 2017
These Two! Hehehehehehe!
Mood:  chillin'
Now Playing: Day 2906-Chapter 3... Happiness~My Silver Lining


Hey you!

Yea... YOU!

Thank you... actually... all of YOU for helping this blog to reach an astonishing 1,662,506 permalink readers.

Thank you!

For those whom have contacted offline regarding a ghostwriter. I will take your question as a compliment since there is no ghostwriter. Just normal, every day life typed out on a blog by contributed stories and little ole me.

While mommy will be busy resting and sleeping the day away... the fur kids will play and play and play and...

These two... I tell ya! What a pair!
A match made in heaven!
There is always a reason to laugh and most certainly smile in our little household. We could not have welcomed a more perfect rescued fur Angel. What a great and most definitely ideal new friend and life long companion for Snoreo. Hehehehehe! 
So far... there hasn't been yet a time that I did not see such a tremendous resemblance in Babyblue to our beloved Littleblue. In every way shape and form!

Our holidays... just got a whole lot brighter with not just the welcoming this year of Babyblue. But also with our fur kitty rescue, Big LOVE too!


Posted by GastroparesisAwarenessCampaignOrg. at 9:30 AM EST
Updated: December 20, 2017 9:38 AM EST
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December 19, 2017
What A Mess!
Mood:  d'oh
Now Playing: Day 2905-Chapter 3... Happiness~My Silver Lining


Rain, rain go away...

Instead of beautiful snow for the start of the winter season. Looks like it will be a warm, rainy start to the winter season. YUCK!

Today is a great day to stay indoors while Eric works on one huge mess that just escalated to the next level. This mortgage reporting is getting to be a bit nuts! Literally far too out-of-control! I look at this entire mess as a quick, easy solution by the bank. But instead we are being met with some serious retaliation. Just fix the missing payments that need to be reported to all three credit bureaus. I don't understand why simple problems must escalate to far bigger issues?. It must be this day and age or something? Do people just enjoy conflict or ???

Far too early this morning my gut was screaming for me to take a look at Eric's credit reporting through a credit monitoring program that I set up last week. This of course is due to continued issues with the mortgage company not reporting payments that have been made over the past 13 months. There is also a slue of errors being reporting to all three credit bureaus. My gut has yet to fail me and this time around was no exception.

Not only have the missing mortgage payments and other errors have yet to be resolved with this particular bank. But as a retaliation... this bank literally added an additional $147,000 onto the original loan after being handed our sixth complaint. Without Eric's knowledge. Without Eric's consent. Without our knowledge in the least bit. Not only was this a huge mistake on their end or whomever did such a ridiculous thing. But now things have gotten a whole lot worse and an even far bigger mess.

While I am dealing with medical testing and another infusion to give my immune system a boost due to a rebounding infection and a positive flu test via hospital outpatient. Eric has a list of phone numbers to contact regarding fraudulent activity.

Thank the good lord for giving me more than I can handle through out this gals lifetime. It takes a heck of a lot to break me. So far it seems... there is no limit. For Eric... this is another test and lesson of sorts on how to have a much stronger backbone. Learning how to handle serious matters as they occur and not waiting until later to the point of no return.

This is what my afternoon will look like once I get back home and for the remainder of the evening... zzzzzz


Posted by GastroparesisAwarenessCampaignOrg. at 8:46 AM EST
Updated: December 19, 2017 8:51 AM EST
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December 18, 2017
A Great Share! Laughter IS Truly The Best Medicine Of All :)
Mood:  bright
Now Playing: Day 2904-Chapter 3... Happiness~My Silver Lining


Remember this holiday season to visit those who can not celebrate Christmas at home. Share a little bit of you with those in the hospital and families at hospice who could really use your hugs, smiles and even a plate of homemade cookies or two!

Blessings from little ole me... to you

I don't know about you, but sometimes it's nice to hear something different for a change. It's nice to hear something different every once in a while.

This became evident to me while going through radiation. Every day for weeks, I would hear the same thing, over and over and over... For me, sometimes, words lose their true meaning when said automatically, without thought.

Repetitive was making me feel mentally exhausted.

Battling cancer is tiring, terrifying and extremely hard.

The times when people are sincerely there for me, it always lifts my spirits. Especially when I am feeling so down. Don't get me wrong, I love every sentiment, but having a laugh is always so much more appreciated!

My favorite was when my radiologist said to me, "You're growing a tail! Oh sorry, wrong file."

Just that little bit of sheer silliness breaks the painful pattern of the same thing, over and over and over...




Posted by GastroparesisAwarenessCampaignOrg. at 7:47 AM EST
Updated: December 19, 2017 4:48 AM EST
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December 17, 2017
A Quick & Easy Holiday Dessert... By Little Ole Me :)
Mood:  bright
Now Playing: Day 2903-Chapter 3... Happiness~My Silver Lining


Today was a great day to do one thing!


I am thankful to have enjoyed some really good days over the past week. But this morning things finally caught up with me. Welcome back overwhelming pain, nausea and vomiting... grrrrrr! Needless to say, I slept through out the majority of the day while Eric took on the daily household chores.

Zofran, Phenergan and even my little miracle pill, Marinol doesn't always help kick the nausea blues away. I have continued using pure peppermint extract for many years now in either a cup of decaf coffee or with my protein shakes. But today I needed a extra little boost! Somehow... in the process I ended up creating another new recipe that I like to call...

Quick & Easy Pumpkin Coconut Dessert

This isn't my traditional holiday recipe that I still plan on sharing this upcoming week. But I figured why not share this concoction that I created in a mere 10 minutes with a blender. Pumpkin is my go-to choice when my other means have failed to provide me some sort of relief from the nausea blues. Pumpkin is not only good for the heart. But it also contains fiber, potassium and vitamin C. Recent studies have shown pumpkin to contain enough potassium to almost be as important as decreasing sodium intake for the treatment of hypertension, high blood pressure.

When it comes to the magical benefits of pumpkin helping to cure nausea. It is a proven fact that canned pumpkin actually helps with stomach upset. When given in small amounts, pumpkin also helps soothes fur children's upset tummy issues. Babyblue loves canned pumpkin! Hehehehehe! Such a cutie! Pumpkin has low glycemic index, so it slowly absorbs, which helps with upset stomach, nausea and overall digestion. Yogurt is also very beneficially for the GI tract. Although most dairy can be difficult to digest. A cup of low-fat yogurt can have quite the opposite effect! Yogurt cultures help increase the number of good bacteria in your GI tract. This helps aid overall digestion and even reducing that annoying abdominal bloating. The combination of both made for a really great new recipe to share with you!

For this dessert you will need one large glass or non-stick cake pan and a blender. This is a fast and super easy dessert that literally will help take away those nausea blues~

Quick & Easy Pumpkin Coconut Dessert

One large can of Libby's easy pumpkin pie mix

One small cup of Dannon brand Greek yogurt, coconut-vanilla

1/3 cup of molasses or Karo dark syrup

3 tablespoons of Bailey's pumpkin spice coffee creamer

1 egg white

4 tablespoons of shredded coconut

3 tablespoons of chopped pecans

2 tablespoons of chopped macadamia nuts

1 teaspoon of allspice

3 teaspoons of cinnamon-sugar

2 teaspoons of ground cinnamon

*Cool whip fat-free to add as a topping

You will need only a large blender to mix all the above ingredients**

Pre-heat oven to 375 degrees.

Mix canned pumpkin, egg white, molasses or Karo dark syrup in blender on low. Add one small cup of Greek yogurt, pumpkin spice coffee creamer, allspice, cinnamon and cinnamon-sugar on medium-high setting until a smooth consistency. Add shredded coconut, pecans and macadamia nuts on high setting until thoroughly mixed.

Pour mixture into large glass or non-stick cake pan. Add a sprinkle of finely chopped pecans to your liking!

Bake at 375 degrees for 30 minutes or until browning around the edges.

Place to side or on cooling rack for 15-20 minutes.

Add your Cool whip fat-free topping and a dash of cinnamon-sugar spice on top!


YUMMY & good for the TUMMY 



Quick & Easy Pumpkin Coconut Dessert

Recipe by, Little Ole Me

Posted by GastroparesisAwarenessCampaignOrg. at 12:01 AM EST
Updated: December 18, 2017 7:30 AM EST
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December 16, 2017
CHEERS To A Most SPECTACULAR Holiday Season! :)
Mood:  happy
Now Playing: Day 2902-Chapter 3... Happiness~My Silver Lining


Santa Paws knows who's been naughty... and nice!


Poor Mr. Elfie has been under careful watch by Babyblue over this past week. We did our best to place Mr. Elfie on very hard to reach places through out the house as he gets ready for Christmas. But as you can see... Mr. Elfie has a very hard time escaping a little baby husky. Hehehehehe! Too stinkin' adorable and too darn sweet!

So much for the oh-so-beautiful snow here in the country for Christmas morning. It appears that the far warmer weather will be here just in time to start off the week before Christmas. My sinuses are already feeling it! This is the first year where Eric has actually beat me for a record back-to-back sinus and respiratory infection. Isn't this weather just downright crazy?! We must give Mother Nature a call to schedule a far more seasonably correct upcoming winter season. A white Christmas would be a wonderful start in the right direction! At least I was able to take in the first sites of some of the most beautiful white snowflakes last weekend. The very first snowfall here in the country!

Our post-it-notes are slowly becoming few and farther in between while being scattered across the kitchen cabinet. Not only does winter official begin next week. But hopefully so will a season of rest, relaxation and taking it easy. Time to enjoy some down-time together with our entire little family. Eric is still in communication with the bank and others whom are trying to come to some sort of resolution regarding mortgage payments that have not been correctly reported by the bank. Far too many payments that are literally missing from all three credit bureaus. I have lost track on how many hours we have spent on the phone trying to get this issue resolved. Thankfully, the 7+ acres of gods country hasn't been sold yet directly across the street. I can not stress enough to Eric about how important it is, life in general, to stay one-step-ahead of any problems or issues. Failure to keep on track with the bank not reporting all payments correctly and in a timely manner has gotten us in this huge mess. We had already received two private offers from those interested in purchasing our home. But now we must wait until credit reporting issues get corrected with the bank regarding missing mortgage payments. What a mess... but that's life for ya! There will always be problems and issues that we all will encounter along our journey. This too, in time, shall pass.

Hopefully pass as we pass hundreds upon thousands of cars on the open highway.

Next stop and final destination... Nevada.


Talking about time to start get a-crackin! I have yet to finish shopping for Christmas. Things have been so hectic in our lives. That I honesty yet to find the time or have the time to finish a bit of holiday shopping. Next week will be the last week of some sort of free day to complete picking up a few last minute items before Christmas Eve. I have surgery scheduled for the very following week after Christmas which will continue until the first of the year. There is no backing out this time around, as my surgeons have made sure of that with a stronger round of antibiotics for precautionary measures. I plan on making sure that next year is a new year for being my most happiest yet! So far... I have been doing one heck of a job ending this year on a far happier note!

TIS another good day! We not only smiled a lot! But once again... we laughed and laughed and laughed and... well... you get the picture! Hehehehehehe!

CHEERS to a most SPECTACULAR holiday season as I end this blog with a most memorable family holiday photo~

Posted by GastroparesisAwarenessCampaignOrg. at 12:01 AM EST
Updated: December 18, 2017 12:26 AM EST
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December 15, 2017
Life... With Fur Children :)
Mood:  chatty
Now Playing: Day 2901-Chapter 3... Happiness~My Silver Lining


These guys have been on a roll today! All day! We aren't sure if its the change in the weather about ready to hit later this weekend or what?! Hehehehehe! Seems the only one who isn't going to partake in their shenanigans is Big LOVE Kitty.
Nah... he's been busy taking it easy. Patiently waiting for the arrival of Santa Paws in less than 2 weeks.
I've decided to throw in one last day of baking next week. A traditional holiday treat that is great to freeze and enjoy later on Christmas Eve. Our little family holiday tradition with a twist! I am super excited to be able to share our recipe with all of you come early next week. YAYYYY! More holiday baking!
For those of you who have contacted me offline. Please refer back to the, 'Festive Cranberry Pudding' recipe via December 10th, blog entry. I did update it after forgetting to add a small cup of low-fat Greek yogurt. You will need to add the yogurt to the rest of your ingredients right before blending. It will really tone down the overall tartness of the pudding. Thanks to those who gave me a 'heads-up' on this slight... oopsie!
With Eric finally having at least one-day off during Christmas. I am looking forward to attending Candlelight church service. We were unable to attend last year due to transitioning after closing while moving into our new home here in the country. I most definitely plan on continuing with old and new holiday traditions with our little family. Visiting loved ones who are celebrating Christmas in heaven has taken us a little bit longer than usual this year. With all the little snowman figurines in hand. We were finally able to begin the tradition of placing the cute little holiday reminders of love with each of our beloved ones who can not be here with us during Christmas. I really do miss what used to be huge holiday gatherings with family members that are now in heaven. Loved ones who are no longer with us, physically. But still every bit here spiritually. Their energy remains as they continue watching over our little family from heaven.
As most permalink readers know. Not every blog entry is my personal blog entry. With this blog getting ready to reach 3,000 blog entries. It is compiled of not just my own journey. But the contribution of many whom have shared their own personal stories through out the years. There are blog entries where using the words, "Family, Sibling and In-Law," will be included with that particular blog entry. We must also understand that my spouse has a family. A very large family with in-laws and a sibling. It is fair to say after sitting down with a family attorney over the past few days. There have been some stories and articles contributed by blog readers and permalink readers where some blood individuals have assumed that the entry was about them. I was asked to have this serve as a reminder that this blog is far more than about my own personal journey, but the journey of many others contributed stories. No one, unless your name is personally mentioned, first and last, should ever assume a blog is about them. Same holds true for assuming that any blog entry is about one particular business. Unless that name of the business is listed per name on the blog entry. However, you can't stop anyone from assuming. As this blog continues on into another new year, 2018. We encourage you to feel free to continue sharing your stories of your very own personal journey and other contributed articles regarding this crazy, yet wonderful place we call, life.
Thank you for being a part of a far bigger journey. 
A road to happiness as we continue finding those silver linings... together. 
With such a busy holiday season upon us. It is as well terribly easy to create a huge mess throughout the house. During this holiday season we will be testing one of their many choices of powerful Hoover products designed to keep your house clean and smelling fresh. Stain and odor-fighting solutions such as this Hoover Dual Power Max, Pet Carpet Cleaner. As you can clearly tell... Beary kitty is ready to see just how clean it gets the couch, recliner, cat trees and other means of daily lounging. Hehehehehe!

 Having a household of fur children means a need for a reliable, dependable cleaning solution. A carpet shampooer that doesn't weigh 50 lbs. But instead a light-weight, easy to carry from room-room carpet and upholstery cleaner.

More of our review to follow!


Posted by GastroparesisAwarenessCampaignOrg. at 12:01 AM EST
Updated: December 17, 2017 6:35 AM EST
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December 14, 2017
A-OK! ;)
Mood:  a-ok
Now Playing: Day 2900-Chapter 3... Happiness~My Silver Lining


"A little bit of this... and a little bit of that."

The above statement pretty much sums up this blog entry.

It's been a very long day which began bright and early... 7am.

Where does one begin?

I guess after yesterdays blog regarding crossing the line and slanderous comments regarding my health from mere blood individuals. I do want to extent my sincere thanks to everyone for reaching out to me. Really... I mean it! I have come to realize how blessed we truly are for such upmost kindness and compassion from many of you. Those whom myself and my spouse really may not know in the sense of face-to-face. But have shown us that good, kind, compassion souls on the face of this earth still do exist to this very day. We are not mere strangers, not by any sense.

I never lost faith in mankind due to the nature of some folks within blood whom are conducting themselves as mean spirited. But as well appear to be truly unhappy. The number one most important action you can do when you have anyone who will do anything in their power to bring you down is to rise above them. You are responsible for your own undeniable happiness for the remainder of your life. Remember that very statement when you come across those whom are unhappy and want to filter that negative energy into your life. It's important to remember that when even those whom share blood. Do and say some really unthinkable, unimaginable inhumane things. The problem is not you. The problem is within them.

Thank you to everyone who contacted me over the past 72-hours via phone, email and a few who even took the time after receiving shared files online in order to lend some really good advice by stopping over our home here in the country. God made one very strong woman. I am... okay. We are... okay. You can not break this woman. Those words on public record will not nor will they ever break me.

That my dear friends is the ultimate strength that comes from within a very strong woman.

I was the first scheduled this morning for rescan and labs. This strong woman who has defied the odds for over 13 years. As I bravely, once again, faced another rescan to help not just my team of specialists. But most importantly, myself to understand and gain more knowledge of what I continue to battle, internally. As was told, "Nothing has changed. Everything remains the same which explains the majority of your pain. But you are doing an exceptional job for handling more than most could handle in your situation." I was once again, advised on the importance of setting up an appointment with a top-notch pain specialist back in Ohio. This specialist has the ability to obtain the newest medication available out on the market. Even the ability to obtain medication for pain that otherwise is not responding to what is currently out on the market by utilizing my unique case for experimental purposes. This means same as with prior radiation therapy. Data from my medical case gets submitted as research data for rare cancer institutes. It also helps to cover medication that is not FDA approved and would otherwise cost us in the hundreds of thousands of dollars over the course of therapy. The ultimate goal is to find the right combination of mediation that will help with the overall pain.

As a strong woman that I am... I have decided to take my specialists advice this morning. I will be proceeding ahead with seeking a far higher quality of life. Less pain which means possibly still realizing my dreams of re-entering the work place in 2018. Where there is a will and my angels whom have continued watching over me. There WILL be a way.

I am already scheduled for biopsy and surgery for next month to potentially remove all signs of most recent findings. Skin cancer. I look at this silver lining as a blessing to have listened to my spouse and had the lesion checked out now. Instead of continuing to try and doctor things on my own at home. Do trust that I was sent to the best of the best when it comes to having the ultimate skills and experience in removing a bit more advanced forms of skin cancer. At least with this cancer. It is visible. Skin cancer is unfortunately a very common type of cancer. It is also the most successfully cured type of cancer. I have faith that mine will also be successfully removed. God loves a fighter as he remains by my side through all the trials and tribulations that continue to be handed my way. I most definitely see me outliving those whom have made such light of others who bravely battle medical odds, even cancer, under oath for all the world to see.

Below you will find a pretty enlightening story. I encourage you to share this story with others during this holiday season whom may as need to understand that sometimes with folks in life. The battle isn't about you. It really, truly, undeniably isn't about you. The problem is about them. Sometimes the most important thing you can do is seek higher powers that be to protect yourself and pray for those who are unhappy. I have always been a strong advocate towards taking care of your mental health just as much as your physical health. It really is the key to ultimate, lifetime happiness!

Today... regardless of these scans. Tis WAS a good day! I was able to laugh a heck of a LOT! That smile that never left only got bigger and brighter!

No matter what you may be battling. No matter what you are fighting. Remember one very important thing. Your bright beaming ray of light that you reflect into this world should reflect a person who is truly happy. Never, ever allow anyone the power to control your happiness. No one of this earth is worth it. But YOU my friends are worth every single bit of undeniable HAPPINESS at this very second and for the rest of your life.

Now go give yourself a hug and a reason to show off those pearly whites!  



There Is No Excuse to Be an As*hole

I know what it's like to struggle with mental illness. I can say it for good reason. I have anxiety. Regardless of the fact that I have successfully sought medical help to manage my condition. It never gives me the right to treat others or even family poorly. There are days when my anxiety gets the best of me. I have my moments. Even my short comings. It doesn't give me the green light to be an as*hole.

There are days, yes... I am stressed. There are moments, yes... I am maxed emotionally. It does happen to all of us. Even us good people. But it is never an excuse to use my anxiety as an excuse to be down right rude, mean and basically... an as*hole.

With anxiety, I believe it comes with our condition. Same as those suffering around this holiday season with bi-polar, manic depression, panic atttacks, general depression or even the latest mental illness that is still being researched, seasonal adult depression (SAD). Being an as*hole towards others, especially family is not something that we are proud of, but it happens. I am a human being. I do make mistakes. But as with all of us who suffer from some sort of mental illness. It doesn't give us the right to be an as*hole. We react, but should quickly apologize when our mental illness causes stress and emotional harm to those who already suffer from other medical conditions.

 In theory, even us as*holes are suppose to learn from hurting others. We are suppose to learn from our mistakes. We too are human. But it doesn't give you the right to use any given mental illness as a means to be an as*hole to others who don't deserve it. An apology is the quickest and most important step in acknowledging your admission.

When those who suffer from mental illness do not take a moment to apology for their own action. It makes you an as*hole. Having any type of mental illness does not give you the right, any right, to treat others inhumanely. It doesn't give you the right to treat others like garbage either.

Unfortunately, I have been the one to do all the above and it has taken me a while to come to my senses. I don't want to be the one to be an as*hole. Being wrong and acting careless means I have the responsibility to own up to my actions. I have the responsibility to apologize and own up to my mistakes. Having a diagnosed mental illness, does not excuse you for being an as*hole. We should all do our most best to treat others, even family, with kindness. If in the process, you too have realized that maybe you have hurt others because of your behavior. Don't insert your mental illness as any given excuse for being an as*hole. Stop and apologize. Own up to your mistakes. 

I have become friends with a coworker last year. She suffers from manic depression. There was a point where she began taking her behavior out on her brother. She spoke of how horribly she treated her brother and sister-in-law. Want to know what she told me she decided to do about it? Instead of masking her guilt through means and ways that only made her feel worse. She took time to reflect at her behavior and she apologized to her brother and sister-in-law. She did the most responsible, mature adult thing that most of us should do in any given situation. When you as well, find yourself being an as*hole.

In time, her brother and sister-in-law forgave her. My friend did the responsible adult thing and acknowledged her behavior. It is also the morally right thing to do.  

We all can do better. We are not perfect human beings by any sense of the word. No one is. Neither am I. 

We are all God's children. The reflection of God's loving grace. Peace to you and yours this holiday season.

And remember... don't be an as*hole.




Posted by GastroparesisAwarenessCampaignOrg. at 12:01 AM EST
Updated: December 16, 2017 11:24 PM EST
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