Mood:
sharpNow Playing: Day 2569-Next GP Chapter... Turning Lemons Into Lemonade :)
Well... at least there was something to celebrate today. Especially when there isn't much, if anything, to celebrate anymore.
Happy kitty birthday to our beloved Beary
~3 years young!
It's mind blowing, just how much life has changed in a mere 3 months. I feel absolutely all over the place! I have no clue what day we are on anymore, whether alone, what month we are on?. I can't tell you the last time, I really was able to sit down, relax and watch television. We really see no point in having any sort of digital or satellite service, when we are far too busy spinning ourselves in circles.
It's a tough reality when home isn't even home. We are in total limbo. I am beyond depressed and overwhelming stressed.
We still have yet to find any temporary rental in order to catch a break from this nightmare. For starters, the prices of rental homes are beyond ridiculous! You could take out a $250,000 mortgage for the price of what a rental home costs you in this day and age. Add all utilities onto the actual rental price, deposits, pet deposits and additional per pet monthly fees. It's absolutely nuts! We certainly did not ask for this entire mess, but then again, we really don't have much of a choice right now. Last week was a rude awakening on how frightening this house, that is ready to crumble, can really be when a huge storm system is right on top of you. The sounds coming from the foundation are no better. Especially at night.
All around... Staying here isn't working. If we stay much longer, we are all going to end up dead, under a collapsed house. Sounds scary, because it is! We saw photos from the engineers on homes, just like ours, that have collapsed. It's down right frightening! Something has to give, because I refuse to die as a result from staying inside a home that is crumbling, sinking, shifting and twisting on a very unsafe, unstable foundation.
Thank goodness! for friends like my dear Kev! He has been joining us on our quest to figure out the easier, safest and quickest way possible to vacate this lemonade home. It hasn't been easy, but we are down to a plan that could possibly work. It isn't a typical plan by any means, but neither is buying a home on fictitious lies by the sellers, agent, broker and others involved on a fraudulent disclosure and hidden nightmare. Our next step could possibly involve living in the great outdoors, which in all reality, is definitely my cup of tea! Peace, quiet and a place to actually give my body time to heal from radiation and other experimental oncology treatments, is what we are aiming for and FAST! There has been absolutely ZERO peace, quiet and rest since beginning, during and after oncology treatments. If it wasn't a group of folks constantly creating stress, then we buy a home from a bunch of liars, fibbers, whatever you want to call it. My body has gotten absolutely no proper time to heal. It's no wonder, I am finding myself quickly getting physically worse, not better.
There is a light somewhere at the end of the tunnel and I plan on doing what it takes to find it! I refuse to have a home literally kill our entire little family. Sometimes, extreme situations in life, call for extreme measures.Trust me by saying, you haven't seen nothing yet!
Those who had a hand in causing our little family such a nightmare and think it's OK? I am here to say, it most certainly is NOT OK. I'm not dead yet. Medically, I have continued beating the odds. Lately, it hasn't been looking very good nor in my favor, but I am still here. I am still alive. I will continue to fight in order to live to see another day. If it means taking extreme measures in order to have some sort of safe roof over our head? Then so be it.
I have no fear in life. Not anymore. Extreme oncology treatments change a person. You realize that fear is when you stare at a huge radiation machine and hold your breath as you get radiated 3-6 rounds per session. Fear is when you have to come to terms of complication after complication, infection after infection, growing tumors that continue growing. THAT my friends is FEAR. If you can get past that fear, everything else means nothing. It's minor. We are at the crossroads of a very tricky situation. This is the week when we place all of our cards out on the table and hope we make the best decision possible. The best decision out of the worst hand possible.
There is no time for fear. It's time to take a leap. A GREAT leap of FAITH with a whole LOT of PRAYING!
bright
Today was another grim reminder of the uphill battle that I continue to face. Another round of antibiotics, once again, failed after just less than a week. It only takes a mere 48 hours before the rebound infections come back in full force. It only takes a mere 24 hours before the physical toll begins to hit me, all over again... Today was another grim reminder. Another antibiotic resistant infection, rearing it's ugly head and a team of doctors trying to figure out what to do next . It was another grim reminder as well of what radiation can do to not only it's target area, but as well, your good organs. Your overall immune system. 
d'oh
Our lemonade home is enough to kill anyone, whether that be mentally, physically or literally.
It's hard keeping yourself motivated when you live inside a home that is beating you into the ground with it. Eric has lost all motivation and that within itself, presents a lot of arguments waiting to happen. I do my best staying positive, but it's tough trying to stay upbeat, motivated and positive for both of us. I am sick. Eric isn't. That starts a lot of our arguments. A LOT! Eric just wants to give up and forget about things in hopes they will disappear, but that isn't how life happens. Nothing just goes away, but if you constantly try to push it away, things will only get worse. I look at our entire, unfortunate, frustrating, time consuming and money pit growing lemonade house situation like this... 
What gets me the most out of everything, is how people can just flat out lie. Know they are lying. Then not even flinch when they are caught. Kind of like this fraudulent property disclosure. It clearly states by the sellers, they do not know of any current or prior problems with the foundation. Yet, they admit to having a buddy attempt doing a failed foundation repair that only made matters worse for the next owners. Us. I don't understand how in today's society, we have learned to lie so effortlessly, yet not even care nor bat an eye at our lies. I don't get it?. One thing is for certain... When I catch anyone in a lie. I make sure to call them out. Maybe if we all did that, there would be far less liars and far more honest folks in this world. 
This world would be far better without them.
Yep, this house of lemons is most definitely full of surprises! Who needs coffee? This house will constantly keep you awake and on your toes without the need for caffeine! BAH~
I can totally understand and rightfully so, the reasons for Eric being extremely upset. I take what has happened very serious and so should the parties involved who not only filled out a fraudulent property disclosure, but also provided a fabricated document yesterday afternoon, via email. Our insurance company claims adjuster? Beyond shocked! All other parties whom have seen what has continued unraveling and transpiring with guilty parties attempting to cover their tracks? Not one bit surprised, but they too as well believe that in time, someone will end up having to pay and pay royally!
heart!
chillin'
digits day! 
#blessed
SNOW...
We still have yet to find a temporary rental home, but I believe that everything in time, will fall into place. Let's just hope that it isn't our lemonade home that falls into place first before we find a rental. EEEEE~YIKES! The hot water tank continues to become a very uncomfortable one with a continuously bowing retainer wall. Another mere failed attempt by the sellers in hopes of masking a fraudulent property disclosure. I am beyond relieved that we bought a new 'electric' hot water tank! Not that the situation is any safer, but compared to if the hot water tank operated on gas... Yes, once again, things could be far, far worse. Today however, just wasn't a very good day for this gal. After sleeping another record 12 hours, going to bed around 8pm. I still woke up feeling physically exhausted and ready to catch more 
zzzzzz's...
Once I come off of a slue of antibiotics. I have a mere two to three days break before the infections rebound and I am right back where I started... Back on another umpteen round of antibiotics and other prescription medication in various forms. It's like a vicious cycle that never ends. The constant back and forth can easily break you down to the core. Mentally and physically. It truly has been a tremendous test for me, because I could easily give up, give in and allow the end of my journey to be a quick one!
don't ask
What wasn't on in the background, was the television. What we also didn't realize was about ready to transpire was a huge storm system ready to touch down within a mere ten minutes.
As the sirens started reaching us, on top of the hill. I looked at Eric and said, "What is that noise? Are those sirens? Is it suppose to rain?" Eric looked at me and replied, "I think it might just be a fire truck." Ummmm... NOPE. Once I looked at the weather on my cellphone. I quickly realized that we were in for not only a really nasty storm, a mere five minutes away, but as well this house could literally crumble at any time. NOT GOOD.
With only five minutes to spare. We quickly turned off the furnace system, left only a few lights on upstairs and placed the kitty gang in cat carriers, Eric grabbed the guinea pig cage with DaisyMae and SnugglyDoo, along with Littleblue and Snoreo as we made our way to the basement. Not that the basement is any more safe than the rest of our deathtrap home, but at least we had a wall of packing totes to hide behind. Heeheeheehee! Yep, those packing totes certainly came in handy! Even our beloved fur children were safely placed behind the great wall of totes as we anxiously awaited for the severe storm and tornado warnings to pass.
What really annoys the be-jeepers out of me, is why in the world does the electric company have to literally cut hundreds of trees, right down to their stumps??!?. When in all reality, if the tree tops are touching the power lines, just flipping trim/prune them back like most companies in the big cities do. So much for the once beautiful scenic views, that were, once beautiful. Now they are literally being destroyed, one tree at a time. Honestly, it makes me sick. It's really a shame. Not the shame of the forest and trees that have withstood the test of time, decades upon decades, but instead, such a shame that we are the ones who destroy such beauty. Earth's beauty and the wildlife that are left scattering for safety. It makes me sick! The sounds of the chainsaws also bring with it, seizure auras that I was hoping, to possibly put to rest. All with the peace, quiet and abundance of nature that we 'assumed' was to come with our new home. 
hell since day 1. 
As we wait for the chainsaws to come back this week. As we were told, will continue until the project is complete. One can only hope and pray that my body will be able to withstand the test of time. A test of mental and physical endurance. It's either me or the house. 
down
A few hours quickly turned into four hours and hopefully a few missing puzzle pieces might help to solve a year old mystery for an entire family. I left feeling completely exhausted. Mentally... depleted. By the time I got home, everything seemed like one huge blur. I even started dozing off while attempting to take a nice, warm, relaxing bath. One would believe that maybe exhausting my energy. Even, mental energy, would not be such a wise idea with a compromised immune system, still recovering from failed oncology treatments. Yet, still I felt the need for closure. Not just for the entire family that I visited, but as well, for myself. Almost an entire year of someone visiting you, relaying important information to you, in the most unexplainable ways. For me, last night was closure for both myself and the victim of such a senseless act. The loss of life. 
Of course, I did run into a skeptic, but there will always be skeptics in this world. We are all skeptics of something, not just regarding the gift of connecting with the afterlife, but skeptics of many other things. I don't believe in UFO's, but that doesn't mean they don't exist. I am a skeptic of anyone who hunts for a sport, overpaid sports for entertainment purposes, mail order brides, any movie that is constantly plugged by the media, black Friday sales, etc, etc, etc. You get the picture! 
special
Early this morning, while taking our beloved fur children outside in order to enjoy the peaceful silence, calm of the world. While all is asleep. I embraced the tranquility of such a beautiful sky with so many bright and quite mesmerizing stars. I took a moment, as I always do around the same time, to send a special blessing to those back home in heaven.
I have been pondering on when it would be the 'right' time to talk more about my gift. I believe that everyone in this world has a gift. Some of us, a very blessed gift. I guess with so many skeptics out there in the world, as I told the publishing company, "Most would not even take the time to listen, whether alone, even believe such a gift." 