Good LORDIE!

Can you believe that the OB-original blog has reached 3,000 blog posts today?!. 

Talking about some serious dedication! I would had never anticipated in my wildest dreams to actually be sitting here typing out blog post #3,000!

You know what is even more surprising and quite inspiring? The realism of just how much I have grown over the years. The reality of how much I have gone through over the years... yet here I am still GOING and GROWING stronger than ever before! 

For anyone who is an avid, daily blogger or Podcaster on the worldwide web.... only you can truly appreciate and understand all the hard work and endless hours that go into writing a blog or posting a Podcast on a daily basis. Most only post on an every-other-day or even some a weekly basis. I have followed those over the years that have started off putting in all the hard work... yet somehow they lost sight, interest or just neglected the time it takes to follow through on such a life changing, life altering way to share your journey with the world. 

As for myself... I have nothing but extremely high expectations for myself and that goes for pretty much everything in my life. I have always given everything in my life 110%! That includes the countless hours and more than what I would like to express in frustrations when the original blog software went crashing time and time and time again. The only reason for the time and time again website crashes has now made me view it far differently! I now view the frustrations as a proud moment! That is because the software can not keep up with the high demands from almost 2 million permalink readers. 

You know... I not only see the world far more differently now while typing out blog post #3,000. But I also view folks much more differently now than years ago when I first started the original blog. I don't believe in the saying that time heals all wounds. Instead... I believe that time makes you realize that some people, some situations and some unnecessary conflict no longer needs your time, your energy and your undivided attention. I will be the first to admit going back through the blog and reading some posts that really made me upset with myself. Spending far too much valuable time on those who didn't deserve my time.

But you know what I have learned through the art of blogging? It's okay and perfectly normal to express how you feel. Hey folks! You were not born in a factory as some mere robots! It's more than perfectly OKAY to have emotions and express them in the best way you know how! It's called being... human.

3,000 blog posts later... I am BEYOND PROUD of my many changes...

I have grown, evolved and learned a great deal of life lessons. Some good and a whole lot of really bad life lessons. I have mastered the art of gaining more wisdom than most will ever gain in an entire lifetime. I have also gained back the self-respect that I now demand from others. I am no longer that weak individual that you may feel you can attempt to once again walk on. 

As I sit here and type blog post #3,000... I have come to realize what truly matters in life... what is most important. It isn't just myself who has learned a great deal of life lessons through out the timeline of blogging on a daily basis. Eric has really learned a great deal about himself. It hasn't always been good, but what makes this blog great is realizing that he is now adult enough to own up to his mistakes. We have both mastered the art of forgiveness, yet at the same time, also demanding apologizes when apologies are owed. That's how you allow the healing process to begin.

In all actuality... I could go on and on and on and on about everything I have learned in the past 3,000 blog posts. But at the end of the day and at the end of this blog... I have zero regrets. If it weren't for having the voice to express myself and the tenacity to stick up for myself. I wouldn't continue on this life journey being the strong willed woman that I am today. 

What I have learned the most as I type out the final words of blog post #3,000 is that you should never fear being the radiant bright soul that has real emotions and isn't afraid to show them to the world! Never be afraid and never be told to dim your bright light that has so much compassion, love and strength to show to others in this world! 

You there! YOU are B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L and never let anyone ever tell you otherwise because those folks are just jealous of your true self.... your undeniable BEAUTY!

The doctors suggested that we now focus on my overall quality of life rather than quantity of life. 

Most of us have a false sense that we are taking care of ourselves. Some go to the gym, eat all the right foods, buy all the in-style clothes and decorate our homes like something straight off of HGTV.

But... we aren't really KIND to ourselves.

What happened to the days of going on walks, sitting down to actually read a good book or two, bask in a really nice bubble bath with your favorite scent, or making a really super decadent home made snack with your significant other... without the TV on in the background.

Being kind to yourself means enjoying the true simplicity of life. Not all the fancy stuff.

Being truly kind to yourself doesn't really cost a thing. It's simply about making the choice to take moments for yourself to stop, smell the air and breathe...

So I ask you again... what is the last KIND thing you did for yourself?

If you can't answer this question, why not instead answer with what are you going to do to be kind to yourself starting at this very moment? 

Big changes in the quality of life... not quantity of life... can start right now.

What a super  funny start to a far-too-early morning!

Not only are the fur kids enjoying their HUGE indoor feline jungle gym... but so did this morning's group of Jehovah witnesses that woke us up as they stood outside the dining room picture window smiling and laughing away... hehehehehehe! Even so much as to call the others in the van that they were driving, preaching the good word from house to house so they could also get a few smiles, a whole lot of laughs and quite a few pictures from their cell phones... hahahahahaha!

We honestly had no idea what was going on with all the commotion while getting ready to head out the door for my scheduled testing at the hospital. As we s-l-o-w-l-y peeked out the kitchen window... all we saw were the faces of five delighted folks truly enjoying the larger-than-life feline jungle gym as Mittens and Big LOVE showed off for the entire group... hehehehehehehe!

You know... it's always the little things in life that bring so much joy not just to ourselves, but as well to others~

Speaking of the little things in life that bring so much joy...

By the looks of this photo taken of our visitors just a few days ago. It appears that Mother Nature might be bringing us one last round of early spring snowfall here in the country. YAYYYY! 3-6 inches or more of B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L SNOW!

LOVE~LOVE~LOVE

Here's wishing everyone

Today folks... TODAY was a GOOD day!

They say that fear can really get the best of you. That is... if you let it.

Last night I decided to face one of my biggest fears as I began the next course of treatments in hopes of beginning to reach up and grasp the top of this Mammoth size Mountain that I still must successfully climb! One hand slowly grasping the peak as I begin attempting to manage my way back over to the other side. The safe side.

I fear the really strong stuff as far as prescription drugs. The medications that have brought me nothing but really bad side effects in the past. I do not do well with steroids. I never did well with Prednisone. But after getting to this point of nothing else that has yet to work... it is a fear that I needed to conquer as I began my first dose late last night. 

Fear really only exists in the mind. Some would even say... it's really all about mind over matter. 

This afternoon, I had already began to experience the first of many not-so-great side effects that come with a high dose course of Prednisone. I feel jumpy, edgy, sweaty and WIDE AWAKE! This should make for a perfect evening to be one with the owls! Hahahahaha! God help me when it comes to the upcoming cravings of all sorts of foods! Yep... been there one other time in my lifetime with this drug. Who knows if it will hit me the same way?. But one thing is for certain... the only cravings I will be able to consume are still solely the liquid kind. 

BRING ON THE HOT CHOCOLATE WITH LOTS OF PEPPERMINT!

Since yesterday was one of my worst days yet... the hospital had to reschedule me for testing tomorrow and finally have the cardiology team put my monitor on. This will allow my Critical Care specialists to keep a 24-hour, close eye on how my heart is responding to everything. Tomorrow will be the first round of nuclear tests for my lungs and to see how much pressure the largest ovarian tumor is placing on my organs. If it weren't for already maxing out our out-of-pocket insurance deductible for this new year. I most likely would not be able to move forward with such extensive and quite costly testing. But God willing... when there is a will... he will provide a way. 

Life is just far too short to take yourself so seriously.

Life is far too short not to always find a reason to laugh and smile each and every day!

This... I know.

Yep... I am that kinda person who gets all giddy at the mere thought of snow... hehehehehehe!

Imagine my surprise when opening up the door in the wee early morning hours to see such a B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L sight!

Sings:

SNOW... BEAUTIFUL SNOW... WONDERFUL SNOW... GLORIOUS SNOW...

I L-O-V-E SNOW...

All I could do was just stand there with the door open smiling from ear to ear while watching the most beautiful snowflakes fall from the heavens.

For me... it doesn't get any more peaceful.

I am still stuck homebound as the most recent rounds of at home treatments and various respiratory medications have yet to help me get stabilized...they have yet to help me catch my breath. But it's always when least expect that the good Lord gives one a break to forget about everything and instead focus on the far happier moments.

The ones that are meant to take your breath away... a most beautiful magical gift from heaven~

Remember when you took pictures and carefully placed them in one of many photo albums collected over a lifetime?

What happened to those days? Now it seems as we are nothing but mere lazy as to let photo after photo after photo pile up on our electronic devices such as our cell phone. You know what? As I sit here sifting through almost a thousand photos on my own personal cell phone. I am as guilty as the next person for not taking the time to print them off and place them in appropriate photo albums. I'm guilty as the next person assuming that my photos will be well preserved on a mere cell phone device. 

What happened to preserving so many moments in time? Clearly the answer to that question is that we need to make time... find that time. Memories... Bittersweet Memories... some even sad memories to hand down to the Next Generation. Surely... we have the time.

I've always adored watching those who have taken their photographic memories and placed them on video. What I didn't realize is how challenging it is to create that perfect video. But I ask myself... what is perfect... because life isn't perfect, memories aren't even perfect and neither are photo videos. Moments caught in time of some sad, some happy and some of the most exciting moments of a lifetime. 

We all have the time and can take the time to preserve time. 

A true priceless gift to hand down from generation to generation. 

Enjoy~

If music truly helps soothe the soul then today's Podcast~Blogcast video and song pretty much describes how my soul feels.

  This afternoon... I began transitioning my very first steps into the care of the critical care specialists. The final puzzle pieces have been carefully fitted into a larger puzzle that is no longer. My body is not responding to various medications and at home treatments due to the progression of ovarian cancer that has now affected my lungs... the inability to breathe normally.

Myself and Eric went into an appointment believing either my heart and lung issues were related to asthma, COPD or due to my Gastroparesis or a combination of both on top of a poor immune system. We could have never predicted such a turn of events 3 weeks ago that started due to the largest ovarian tumor now becoming infected as it began infecting my blood and causing me to become toxic. 

Guess you can say that sometimes things don't always go as planned... not with your health and in general... not with life. I have to quickly wrap my brain around all of this information as I go into further testing at the hospital starting tomorrow morning. I am now being quickly transitioning off of one round of various medications and at home treatments to go onto the next and final round in hopes of getting me somewhat stabilized.

As for now... being admitted is solely up to the patient... me.

Life... never take anything for granted.

Life... it's a beautiful thing.

Talkin' about feelin' ALL  JAZZED UP!

All JAZZED UP in my comfy clothes with 2 hours of relief in between treatments.

Nothing in the world feels better while not feeling your best as being snug-as-a-bug-in-a-rug in your old comfy clothes!

Who cares what anyone thinks because in all actuality... all that matters is that I'm comfy and I'm rocking my thrift shop looking attire on this glorious Sunday!

All this while celebrating my 14th year living a unique life with Gastroparesis.

That diagnosis 14 years ago is how the Gastroparesis Awareness Campaign website came to life. A little idea in a really BIG way to help other patients know that they are not alone. That little idea that has now become this massive awareness campaign soon to reach 12 million around the world educating others about Gastroparesis... One Person At A Time.

www.gastroparesisawareness.com

14 years later and who says you can't survive living on a very limited diet? HA... I sure showed them!

You know... this kind of reminds me of a little song that goes a little something like this on this beautiful Sunday celebrating a most b-e-a-u-t-i-f-u-l life~

It's time to get ALL JAZZED UP!
Hahahahaha...

Did you make sure to wear your green today for good luck! You know this gal did! All the way to meeting with the realtor early this afternoon! It felt amazing to finally get out of the house for a bit of fresh air! 

YAYYYYYY!!

I am finally catching a bit of a break with all the treatments. I still have a very long ways to go before getting back to some sort of normalcy but I'll take all I can take! It was an interesting meeting with the realtor after we both have already realized this is going to be another repeat year with a very declining real estate market. The inventory in and out of state is extremely low... a record second year in a row! We will have no problem selling our home however we are having a huge problem trying to find another house out of state. It is bizarre how quickly things have turned around with the housing market in the area where Eric will be working in Nevada. Our final and permanent destination. Even with health matters and health issues... life still Must Go On.

That most definitely includes our life! 

We were advised to wait until late summer before proceeding ahead as there is very little inventory as far as homes currently on the market and the expectations are extremely low when it comes to the peak season this summer. We both had a strange feeling that come early fall this year might be our best bet in order to finally complete our final move. We may have an easy time when it comes to selling our home that we have literally flipped upside down and inside out. But when it comes to landing a contract on a new property out west... it has been extremely slim pickings. We will not settle this final and last time around when it comes to a permanent place of residency. I guess this means we will now have additional time to complete the remaining smaller projects that still remain on our to-do list. 

Our luck may not have been with us as far as a good meeting with the realtor this afternoon. But at least medically I was able to take a small step today in the right direction when it comes to getting over this Mammoth Mountain I must climb. Thank goodness for growing older and far wiser because we will not be missing out on the crazy drunken St Patty's Day crowds this evening! Regardless of my health... we still would have stayed home taking it easy and spending far more quality time with our little family.

The Saint Patrick's Day inquiring-minds-want-to-know as I have come to deliver with today's video! Your long overdue question has finally been answered!

So have I... You Are Not Alone along with the other almost 2 million permalink readers. 

This time it wasn't the Gastroparesis Awareness Campaign website that crashed, but once again this blog due to really old poorly managed software that has once again crashed. I believe I am on the 4th or 5th day with Engineers trying to resolve the issue which could go into early next week.  

Yayyyyyyy for no longer having to endure monthly and even most recently weekly crashes like on this old original blog site. Please be warned that it will only be on a temporary basis before all blog posts will only be able to be viewed on the new website.

Onward and Upward!

Today marks 48-hours with continued at home treatments. I am scheduled back to the hospital Monday morning with my pulmonologist and cardiologist. I was given a little bit of their game plan via phone this afternoon. Their new goal is to get me through this weekend so they can do a bit more extensive testing next week, Monday. They have already scheduled me for a 24-hour heart monitor so they can keep a close eye on my heart while my pulmonologist tries to figure out a way to help stabilize my lungs. Eric is fearful they're going to end up having to admit me regardless Monday morning. What he doesn't realize is that no one can force anyone to be admitted to the hospital. This situation it truly is up to the patient... me.

I plan on continuing to fight in order to stay away from being admitted to the hospital. I am in a 24-hour stress free zone and I plan to permanently keep it that way. That means zero stress. Anyone who cannot respect the demands from my doctors will be talking to my hand because I won't be listening. I like to call it some serious self-respect. I don't consider this Mammoth Mountain to climb a burden... but instead a Mammoth size life lesson. The greatest lessons in life are learned during the greatest struggles.