Mood:
happyNow Playing: Day 2846-Next GP Chapter... Turning Lemons Into Lemonade :)
HAPPY SWEETEST 
DAY!
LOVE~LOVE~LOVE
This is the very first year. That I actually forgot all about today being Sweetest Day. You know...those gentleman who are rushing to the nearest store at the last second in hopes of finding the perfect card and gift. Hahahahaha! That was me...just the female version today! Hahahahaha!
Needless to say...I spent an entire year, last year, believing I was actually a year older than what it says on my drivers license. And...I be darn! If I didn't do so again this year! GEESH! My oncologists' assistant actually caught my lack of memory regarding my age on the phone yesterday morning. BAH!
"Ummmm...it says here on your insurance information that you are a year younger? Is that correct?"
Darn! If I didn't literally make myself an entire year older again this year, for almost the entire year! Hahahahahaha! Sure, I guess I can laugh about it now. But Eric finds it quite concerning, however, the memory does get effected by internal issues within. My oncologist feels no need to worry. It's perfectly normal. Just don't assume that I know my age if you ask me. BAH!
Since I failed to remember that today was Sweetest Day. Thankfully we have a retailer two seconds down the street! Thank goodness for also having lots of Sweetest Day cards left over among their huge selection! Eric isn't picky. Not in the least bit. He just reminds me that having me with him another year is the best gift that one can get. XOXOXOXO
So today...we decided to have a low-key Sweetest Day celebration of sorts. Nothing really fancy. Just lots of love and plenty of rest. Shared together...as a family.
Mittens and Big LOVE had plenty of fun with red ribbon, actually even laying across the floor as if cuddled together like the shape of a heart. Beary kitty lounged on the big cat tree in front of the dining room window. While Snoreo took a nice nap with his daddy after running at our local dog park with the rest of his canine friends here in the country.
I can't believe that this month is quickly coming to an end! At least we were able to finally enjoy the fall season, and perfect weather! This will be our first year, yet sadly, our last year celebrating Halloween here in the country. Our current home, a lemon of a gem that is almost complete, turned into SWEET LEMONADE...will be placed on the real estate market next year, early spring. We have one final move, our goal destination that awaits us. The Nevada desert, majestic red rock, picture perfect mountains and a fresh new start for our entire little family. I plan to fight with everything I got in hopes of making sure that this gal...realizes her DREAM~
Here's wishing YOU...a very super SWEET & most B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L Sweetest 
Day with your sweets!
cheeky
I had a parent once tell me, that some folks just don't do well when they come into money. That same parent also made mention that some women don't do well with menopause either. Thank God!! I don't have to ever go through that, not in this lifetime! Because after dealing with someone today that acted like menopausal pure-evil. I would gladly ship myself off to my own private island.
heehee!
STOP ALREADY! 
hahaha!
bright
What serves someone, anyone to literally bold face lie on a court document? What does anyone get out of creating and fabricating the truth into some twisted lie of who-knows-what? Maybe this is because...so far with everyone that had a chance to look at two separate court filings...are still literally shaking and scratching their heads. Both at the same time. 
I have a copy of two separate court filings that are not only able to be viewed by you. The public. But as well we have done our homework and will continue doing such through out the day tomorrow on other avenues so the peace is no longer tainted ever again with such nonsense. All so this never happens again when the same group of individuals within the family fail to respect our need for some peace and quiet. Especially during the last leg of my journey. It is not against the law to share a public court record or filing. In fact, there are no laws against sharing a public record or court filing. But when one goes out there way, to cause another rift between family members because they are not happy with themselves nor their lives. Please of all things...don't create fiction nor lie to others. Because one day...one time...running to the system can back fire. 
quizzical
I am still doing my best, on my good days, getting the new website ready for this blog. Honestly, I have been sleeping more than anything right now. When my body needs rest...I rest. Over the past week...maybe a bit more rest than usual. Keeping mobile is still very important. I can't lay down or sleep for too long of periods at a time. Yet, it's still very hard to not do anything, but sleep. In between having to now take various medications in order to continue functioning through out the day. My body still has yet to adjust to the side effects. We were told, it will take time. As my energy still remains extremely low.
With still starring down my temporary work permit from SSD. I sure hope to have at least a few good days through out the upcoming weeks. Our traveling tickets for the show taping are still on hold. Yet, I still also refuse to give up on two separate online ventures that just need for me to start feeling better so I can finish the web designing. A soft opening of the website of sorts still in the making. Rarely, do I give up so easily. But then again, I have yet to ever be in so much pain, non-stop, 24/7. With my intestine now literally flipped and the largest tumor causing more problems and sheer hell than ever before. I will far more appreciate the good days that may lie ahead of me. AMEN.
Our normal daily life, has once again changed. No longer waking up to our beloved Cuddles kitty wanting to be held in order to sleep on our lap is no longer. The many alarm clock reminders on our cell phones have now went silent. Changing out food, washing her bedding, throwing away can after can of specialty high-calorie prescription food, now sits in the cupboard with the rest of Cuddles medication. It's strange...when you lose a fur child. Everything with your normal routine changes. Life changes. Nothing...is the ever same. It's all really quite sad and incredibly strange. Yet, we are reminded that her spirit still remains. 
What has been the most disappointing of all during the last several months happens to be with long standing friendships. Friendships that have exceeded way past several years. One actually lasted 13 years. The other happened to be almost 10 years. Let's just say, that I am a very loyal person, especially when it comes to my friendships. Yet, once again, unfortunately even those whom were once close to you, grow tired of the same thing I am fighting. The right to be cured. A much more normal life. Some sort of lifestyle that includes having fun. 
sad
Physically and emotionally. Myself and Eric are both beyond spent. This has been a very tough week. As we are helping Cuddles. I also have to keep in mind, helping myself. I have a very difficult decision to make regarding my own life. But as of yesterday. I have come to a definitive decision. Some may dislike and some may even disagree with my decision. But everyone is entitled to his or her own opinions. I received many opinions from others when it came time to decide regarding a fast track, maximum course of radiation therapy and a few other oncology treatment drugs. The difference between myself and Cuddles is that she needed our assistance in making such a very hard decision. We gave it a few days, but Cuddles health was deteriorating far too rapidly for her to pass peacefully at home. Early this morning, Cuddles peacefully passed onto a far more beautiful place where she was greeted by her other rescued siblings.
As we did so with our other beloved fur children. We brought Cuddles back home so her fur siblings could understand what had happened. I believe this to be a very important part of grieving, because even animals grieve. Snoreo was the first to walk up to Cuddles resting peacefully while wrapped up in a few of her favorite sheets and kitty blanket. It was the most amazing thing to watch Snoreo literally walk up, sniff and then kiss Cuddles on the nose. Big LOVE took only a mere instant to realize that one of his new best friends was to be no longer. Not in the physical sense, but very much still alive with us, spiritually, energy. Big LOVE sat the longest while Eric called to set up a time for a private crematory service at Faithful Companion. We have unfortunately made far too many calls to Faithful Companion over the years. I know things happen for a reason. All I can believe in my heart is that they wanted to be together. Waiting for me to arrive, so we can cross the Rainbow Bridge...together. 
Sharing this part of my life, a very private part of my journey is very important. Sharing allows other fur parents to understand that when the time comes. There are options. It doesn't mean having to bury your beloved fur child, or keeping them with your veterinarian. There are wonderful, kind, compassionate companies out there who offer services and other options for our beloved family members. Our faithful companions. Pet 
crematory services, private crematory services such as we have used with, Faithful Companion. Having a private crematory service, while having the time to grieve our loss. Knowing that we will be bringing home Cuddles just in a different form. It's beyond reassuring! I wouldn't handle the passing of any of our fur children any other way. There are options out there. I hope by sharing this part of my journey. You too, will realize that other choices do exist in hopes of bringing your beloved fur child back home to be with their family.
Our beloved Cuddles had started feeling not so well a few days ago. In fact, Cuddles kitty had collapsed on the living room floor which sadly resembled the same as our beloved Oreo when he had a stroke. Since then...Cuddles health has quickly began to decline. We had been using IV fluids to help keep her hydrated at home. Cuddles is also on prescription critical care can food. Over the past few weeks we had went from Cuddles eating out of the bowl on her own. To literally hand feeding her through a syringe. Over the past week, Cuddles has literally began to fight off Eric when getting ready to insert the needle for her IV so she can stay hydrated. The same with feeding her through a small syringe so we could make sure her weight remained stable. 
I am grateful to the good Lord for allowing me many years to spend with all of our beloved fur children. I am beyond blessed to have spent so many years having the companionship of all my little angels. Their unconditional love is something that can never be denied. They never faulted to be there for me, by my side, when I needed them the most. As humans...I have experienced quite the opposite during my hardest trials and tribulations. During oncology treatments and many surgeries. It wasn't the kindness, compassion and love from humans that helped keep me fighting. In fact, that support didn't really exist. It was actually the love, tiny kisses and warm snuggles from our beloved fur children that kept me going. I had to keep fighting for them. That unconditional love kept me going and it will continue until the very end. 
Many thanks to Richard for sharing this article with me. As I now share it with you. 
not sure
Thanks to Miss Beary kitty for the morning wake up call as she sat at the living room window talking to the birds. She has grown to be such a beautiful Beary kitty~
Since there are no further surgical options and I maxed out the lifetime course of radiation therapy among other oncology treatments. There was only one option given to us today. Given to me as a means to 'possibly' provide a minimum 6 months to a year before facing the inevitable end to my journey. There is only one last option which is a non-FDA experimental course of therapeutic treatment delivered via outpatient injections. The problem with using this experimental drug is that there are no other drugs to counter act a very long list of side effects. In fact, there are so many side effects that Eric's opinion after reading only 1/3 of the list was, "NOWAY." As well, the drug does raise flags for concern due to the drugs initial reaction. During the first 3-4 weeks, the drug will cause you to feel worse, before, possibly helping to starve off and shrink lesions and tumors. All this to possibly help me gain a 'possible' 6 months to a year of life. Quality of life during those 6 months to a year? That's an entirely different blog for another day to share with everyone. Because let's face it. When you come to a point in your life. When you feel as if you are all alone. There is a one million percent certainly in saying...YOU are not alone. Someone else, somewhere else, is walking in the same exact shoes with you. In my case, another non-FDA, experimental treatment, paving the way for other patients who may have to unfortunately take a walk in my rare pair of shoes in the future.
If anything is to come out of a very unique medical journey. Is the ability to share it with others.
hug me
