Mood:
not sureNow Playing: Day 2791-Next GP Chapter... Turning Lemons Into Lemonade :)
Instead of me being down for the count...It's now Eric's turn.
Usually we have to utilize FMLA time due to various reasons with my health. But time, stress and lack of sleep finally took it's toll on Eric's health. Talking about sick. Eric has been hacking non-stop so finally I convinced him to visit our local Urgent Care. We both have to be extra careful keeping germs at bay. I still don't have the immunity to fight off infections. Especially with things progressing and no turning back. Tis better for us to be safe than sorry! This is going to be one very brutal and quite scary upcoming flu season for the both of us! Luckily Eric's diagnosis was due to hay fever which is now in full force. The worst time of year for him. Thankfully we have everything close by our new home here in Indiana. Including a doctors Urgent Care.
Looks like it's R&R time for Eric, myself and the fur gang this evening. We can't afford having both of us sick. No way. No how.
I am still doing my best to get my body and mind ready for final testing and surgery scheduled for next week. Attempt #3. It hasn't been easy physically nor mentally. I must at least maintain a body temperature of 97.5 which has been a very tough feat within itself! Lately my body temperature still remains far too low. Without getting into too much info right now, until at least after surgery. Once I wake up, my body only has so much left in reserve on vital chemicals and hormones that my brain can no longer provide me. Quickly becoming depleted once I wake up in the morning doesn't leave me with much time to get things done on a daily basis before I go into crisis mode. Then it's time for injections that I now must do at home. It hasn't been easy by any means and it also isn't very cheap. That's putting it lightly! This is why getting myself ready both physically and mentally next week for the third attempt is so very, very important.
Time is of the essence.
If it wasn't for such a scary injection that also must be used for final testing before surgery. I believe that one would be in a far better place mentally for what is ahead of me. If they didn't sit down with us, explaining the side effects, risks and sometimes fatal complications. One wouldn't be rethinking everything over and over and over again in my mind. It has gotten so bad that I had my first dream of actually dying. Of all places...I was having a test, in the hospital. I am most definitely one to believe in signs. The very vivid dream has me very frightened, extremely concerned and darn straight...worried! So much so that I reached out to my psychologist of over 9 years back in Ohio for a very important meeting next week. I really need some seriously sound advice and who better than from my psychologist who has been helping me cope with the in's and out's for almost a decade. I need some very serious and strong advice. So far, the advice and opinions of others are mostly ones of great concern. My therapist and LC here in Indiana have not been seeing me that long to know everything with regards to my unique journey. Although myself and Eric still highly respect and value their opinions with regards to my health.
But when it comes to this final phase of testing so my team of specialists can proceed ahead with surgery. It has been the toughest decision I have yet to be faced with during my journey. I thought signing liability forms for radiation and chemotherapy that all oncologists must have their patients fill out was scary. One single injection now has me more scared than facing cancer treatments alone.
Let's be honest by saying...
when things progress to your brain and your body starts to go into crisis mode. I think anyone in my situation would be scared and extremely worried. Rightfully so!
I am not so sure what next week may hold for me. But one thing is for certain. When it comes to the opinions of those who know me and my health the best. Their opinions weigh very strongly with myself and Eric.
happy
Nothing like getting your big, comfy fall clothes out a bit earlier than usual. But no complaints from this gal. I LOVE IT!
If this weather continues, we both plan on tackling this golf course next month. I might not be much of a golfer...but the views will most definitely be worth a try! Eric has played golf many times over his lifetime. As for myself...I am lucky to just hit the ball off the green. Hahahahaha! It should be a really good laugh of a time! 
Hahahahaha! 
VE!
It is an absolutely, incredibly, b-e-a-u-t-i-f-u-l day here in the country! Actually...This most beautiful fall-like weather will be continuing for the next few weeks. 
gem. All it needed was a little TLC! 
day!
sharp
This not only went on into the early morning hours. But as well followed us across state lines. Into the hospital back in Ohio.
This gal has moved onto a new and far more happier way of life in our new home state...Indiana. Of course, my team of specialists still reside back across state lines in Ohio. So do the hospitals where they practice. Also back in Ohio. I cringe at the thought of once again having to cross state lines. Yet, find a huge sense of relief when heading back home. To our new home here in Indiana. That same bad energy state of Ohio still seems to somehow find a way to drain me emotionally. A very bad past 5+ years still resides in that state. We don't plan nor ever intend on moving back. So it's not any surprise that I went into another head-to-head, highly confrontational and most definitely toxic battle with absent family. It's no wonder that I couldn't even walk into this mornings scheduled testing at the hospital...successfully. Testing that should had followed up with a very important surgery. Two weeks in the making.
So... I didn't pass the mandatory body temperature of 97.5 this morning. But thankfully I have a very understanding lead oncologist whom rescheduled everything, once again, pushed back another week. 
bright
If you didn't have special glasses to watch this incredibly magical moment as the sun and moon dazzled even the youngest of viewing crowds. You were either S-O-L or in need of an ophthalmologist appointment within the next few days! Heeheeheeheehee! I am not so sure of the old wives tales about instantly becoming blind while looking up at the eclipse. But we must admit. It sure was super bright! Most definitely something to see with the proper glasses! A last second, extremely smart decision purchase at the right time and at the right place! 
It's been decades since the last solar eclipse. I actually remember it, but don't remember these nifty glasses. I assume back then we just took our chances of looking up at God's magical solar light show while also taking our chances of becoming blind. Or...with some serious eye irritation and pain over the next few weeks. Heeheeheeheehee!
As I round off the weekend... 
else might say or tell you. YOU are most B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L too!
So...maybe our challenges in life, medically, are different. Maybe our weight loss and gains might be different. Maybe we live differently among what we endure independently. But doesn't it feel damn good to know...WE are still every bit proud, brave and most importantly...B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L women! Thank you Melanda for your kind words. Thank you for sharing your brave journey. Thank you for inspiring me!
ever forget!
celebratory
B-I-R-T-H-D-A-Y today...
Yep, I am still up and early with the birds! That means once Eric gets home from work. It's time to change and head out the door! Of course, it seems that I am the only one used to this new sleep schedule. Ask Eric or Snoreo...and you can most certainly bet that their reply will follow up with a quick ZZZZZZ... Hahahahaha!
This year, Eric requested to have pie. A personal pizza pie! He isn't much for desert. I guess it's a good thing that I only enjoy the icing part on a really good cake! I was never much for the actual cake part of a birthday cake. A birthday pizza pie it is! And it was! Inhaled within a mere 5 minutes. Talking about a GREAT brick-oven, organic style birthday pizza pie! Heeheeheeheehee! Good thing I am not much for pizza either. Nah, I will gladly stick with a healthy protein shake! 
Over the years by my own personal struggles, experience and being the support for others whom battle illness. I refuse to be another person who would rather not be burdened. Refusing to be inconvenienced by someone who is battling any illness. By wisdom. I have learned how to never act nor treat others who never asked to be sick in the first place.
chillin'
I need my body temperature and other levels to be as much on the normal side as possible. Maybe not-so-much as normal as most folks. But I need my levels to not be so foobar as last weekends. I only have this weekend to allow my body as much rest as possible. If I can go into testing and surgery next week, with levels on the okay side... Then my team of specialists won't have to keep rescheduling everything. That means, NO drama, NO stress, NO nada. 
finished!
Repairing, repainting and redecorating anything and everything we come across through each and every room. This after deciding to take on the massive and quite timely project . Putting every last ounce of energy into creating a most b-e-a-u-t-i-f-u-l country coastal themed home!
