Have A HEART~
Mood:
hug me
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This is the most difficult blog, in the history of this blog. A blog entry that should had never made it's way to this blog. A once in a lifetime event, that I hope remains as such...
Once in a lifetime.
I am a firm believer. That God places those in the toughest situations in life for good reason. God's reason.
It was a tough night trying to get some decent sleep. I have been having one heck of a time, trying to get comfortable, in between having to constantly get up and down to take various treatment medication. Not only has my appetite vanished due to side effects from Immunotherapy, but slowly is my weight. They say it won't be easy, not for awhile anyways...
This weekend, I remained determined as ever to once again, brave the trails that run along the river. I refuse to be stuck at home. Eric has been going solo, other times I can only watch from a mere front car window, but today? Today would be different. What I didn't realize. Is just how different today would end up becoming. A permanent place, forever sketched into my heart.
They say, that everything happens for a reason. People are placed in circumstances for a reason. God chooses the right people to help in time of need. Today, God chose me.
I was successful in getting up, getting dressed and heading out to walk the river trails with Eric, Snoreo and Littleblue. It was a much later, than usual walk, but I was determined as ever to not sit at home or in the front seat of the car. We found a off road parking area along the river trails last week. This allows us to enjoy a more peaceful walk, solo, without worrying if someone else is walking their pet, without a leash. For some reason, this evening we decided to park at the reserved river trail parking area. The area where also children enjoy playing on the new swings and other outdoor play sets.
We always begin our walk with Eric holding onto Snoreo and Littleblue's leash. Overwhelming excitement of taking a walk on the trails makes handling two energetic fur kids a challenge in the beginning. Half way through the walk, I take over Littleblue's leash, but today was different. As we completed our walk to the half way point. I noticed an orange cat make it's way down from the house on the hill, across the street from the trails, towards the busy road. Surely, the cars coming down the road were going to notice the cat?. Especially since they were not yet near where the cat was going to cross.
A once in a lifetime. That I never anticipated to happen in my lifetime. Happened.
The sound still runs through my brain today, as it did the exact day and hour that it happened. As the beautiful, orange colored, fluffy hair elderly cat crossed the road and no one stopped. The sound was so loud, that all I could do was stand frozen. In mere disbelief in what was happening. Not only did one car. Not stop. Neither did the second car as it senselessly hit the cat and then paused, but as well, took off down the road.
God places those in the saddest of situations in life for a reason. God has a plan and sometimes... You are God's plan.
This blog has been backtracked due to the website and domains being down for over a week. Since the blog has been back up and running. It has taken me awhile to post this entry, due to not wanting to relive the moment, but also due to overwhelming sadness of how cruel and heartless we have all become in today's society. Not only was the sound of the cat being hit and bones shattered to pieces disturbing, but so was watching this all unfold and it's lifeless body being thrown in the air from tires lifting him off the ground. In my book. ONCE was quite ENOUGH. I looked over at Eric and without asking for his blessing. I told him to take Snoreo and Littleblue back to the car. I only asked that he keep walking, get into the car and grab the sheet and blanket that we keep over the back seat. I don't remember anything after that point, nor what Eric was saying. I had a job to do and rescuing that poor, lifeless cat laying on the road was my #1 goal.
I absolutely, REFUSED, to allow any other car to literally keep running over it's body. If that meant me running onto a very busy road, in order to remove the cat to safer ground. Then so be it. It will be done.
Eric told me later in the evening. That he did a mad dash with both leashes in hand back to the car. Fearful that I would get hit. As I looked at cars coming down both sides of the busy road. I made my determined way to the cat that laid lifeless. My heart... Sank. I even stopped cars on one side of the road, because they were not even going to stop for me. Clearly, we have a problem with ourselves. If you can't stop for an animal. Then I surely don't expect for you to stop for me, but I won't go down with just a few hits. OH NO! It's going to take a hell of a lot more for me! I not only counted the one, initial car that I had to flag down in order to prevent them from hitting me. Clearly, they saw the cat and they saw me, but they didn't stop. Not only did they not stop, but I counted 10 other cars behind them that didn't stop. Not only single car stopped to ask if I needed help. Not one. That, within itself, was a true lesson of life. This life, in this day and age. Our society. A new, very real, narcissistic, inhumane way in how we not only treat animals, but how we now treat one another. "Who cares," seems to be today's norm.
Where is your heart?
As I stood there in the middle of the road, daring the next person to hit me. Eric pulled on the other side of the road as I quickly made my way to the car in order to grab the sheet and blanket. Eric didn't need to say a thing, because he knew that my heart was in a good place. I was determined. If I was ever to die in any type of way. Saving an animal, for me, would not shock one single soul. If you know me. Really... Know me. You would already know, as you continue reading this blog, smiling. As I took the sheet and blanket out of Eric's hands. I told him to take the dogs home and come back. Eric of course, got a bit nervous as he attempted to plea with me in fear I would get hit, but I wasn't going to leave the cat out in the middle of the road. Not after what I had witnessed. Something that I pray to God. I never have to witness, ever again in my lifetime.
Once again, I looked up into the sky, said a prayer that God would allow clearance for me to pick the cats lifeless body out of the road and onto the hillside. I believe that we are put in situations within life by God's will. Not only did I look both ways to see, not one single car in sight, on a very busy two lane country road that ran along the river. I was able to kneel down on the ground and slowly place the sheet and winter green blanket, a Christmas gift, around it's lifeless body. As I looked down at the beautiful orange colored, fluffy cat. I said a prayer to God, asking that the cat need not suffer any pain. A mere moment seemed frozen in time, as I closed my eyes and saw this same beautiful orange cat that now goes by the name, Chester Orangie Angel, look up at me smiling. Letting me know that he safe and now in God's hands. In Heaven.
This isn't the first to experience such a blessing, in which I have come to realize over the course of my lifetime. I have a gift that most do not have. I consider my gift, special. A gift from God. After I opened my eyes, I began picking up his body with the sheet and blanket as I safely made my way to the other side of the road. I placed Chester Orangie Angel on the hillside and called Eric to let him know my location. As soon as I hung up the phone. Another first began to quickly unravel as up on top of the hillside, sat a house with a porch light that clicked on and what appeared to be an elderly woman's voice, "Chester. Come here Chester. Mommy has your treats for you. Chester. Chester where are you?" If your heart has dropped at this very second. Imagine my heart as I said out loud, "Oh my God. Is this really happening? Why God? Why me?" I knew at this point, deep in my heart. This beautiful, orange color, fluffy cat that now remained lifeless in my arms was her beloved Chester. At this point. I had no other choice, but to say a prayer as I some how scaled the hillside with Chester Orangie Angel wrapped in the sheet and green blanket. I knew better than to allow for anyone in the house to see what was in the blanket, until I knew for certain. This was their beloved pet.
Eric had still yet to call me back. In fact, it was my fault that it took him awhile to locate me since I had forgotten that I turned off my cell phone. I decided before going up to the front door, to place Chester Orangie Angel out of eyes view, back down towards the bottom of the hill. I only made that decision, in fear that it would only make the owners more upset. It was the best split second decision, I could had ever made. In a situation that was already not only very upsetting, sad and utmost disturbing. I once again proceeded back up the hill to hear the elderly woman open the door for a second time, "Chester! Chester! Where are you Chester?" I stood there in complete disbelief as I whispered the words, "Why me God? Why me?" One knock, then two knocks at the front door and an elderly gentleman standing proud with his highly decorated veteran military hat opened the door, smiled and once again. It was as if time stood still. Something was different, yet I couldn't pinpoint it, but later would find out a very touching, heartfelt story about the couple who live up on the hill. An elderly couple with hearts full of kindness, compassion and love for each other, stronger than the sea itself. The most lovely couple that myself and Eric have ever met in a very long time. A couple who dedicated their lives in helping to save animals.
A couple living with Alzheimer's in a home that was taken care of, along with their beloved fur children, by one amazing daughter.
As the smiling gentleman stood at the door. I proceeded to ask him if they had any pets. Specifically, any cats. The gentleman didn't answer, only smiled as the daughter came to the door after overhearing me. I knew at that very moment, this was their beloved Chester. A 17 year old, elderly cat, their beloved fur child that filled their hearts with joy. An indoor cat that was only allowed for a brief breath of fresh air in the evenings outdoors, but always remained within sight of the owners and their daughter. Their beloved feline family member that began just a month ago, with his own early signs of dementia. As I began to ask the daughter, if they had any cats. The smiling gentleman's wife quickly came to the door and asked if I had seen her Chester? As I stood there, in utter disbelief, as my heart sank deeper. The daughter proceeded to ask her parents to stay indoors while we looked for their Chester. Tears began forming in the daughters eyes as she looked at me and said, "Something happened to Chester, didn't it." I could only nod my head as she began to cry and then proceeded to become frightened for her parents as her Mother opened the door and began looking for Chester. It took a bit, before she could safely get her Mother back into the house. She didn't want her Mom to see Chester this way as she began to explain to me that both of her parents are suffering from Alzheimer's. The daughter not only lived with her parents, but as well took care of her parents and their beloved cats. As she told me, "Chester is one of 3 cats. My parents other children."
As I began to slowly make my way back down the steep hill, towards Chester. Eric pulled up across the street and quickly got out of the car. We both assisted the daughter down the hill to make sure this was their beloved pet. It only took a mere second, after the evening street light kicked on and shined down upon Chester's long, orange, fluffy hair. We actually had to take a few photos of Chester's face, now known as Chester Orangie Angel, due to the daughter not wanting to see or remember the other part of their beloved 17 year old family members mangled, lifeless body. All she could do was cry and node her head, "yes," when we asked if this was possibly her parents beloved cat. Before her Mom opened the door and forced her way down the hill with Eric's assistance. The story of Chester and how much her parents loved this beautiful elderly cat came to life. Chester was not only loved more than we will ever know, but he was their everything. The daughter looked up at me, as all I could do was give her a hug in hopes of bringing some sort of comfort, as she said, "The cats are their kids. They don't go out much. They are all they know."
God has a purpose for both me and you. I know God had a purpose for me today. There is a reason for everything in life. Even when you hope that the time never comes. Watching someone's beloved pet get senselessly killed. Watching someone's heart break not just for their beloved pet, but for a beautiful couple, her parents that never deserved Alzheimer's. No one deserves Alzheimer's and no one deserves to have a pet that this couple so passionately loved, so senselessly killed by others. Animals not only become our beloved pets. They become part of our family. I watched 2 cars that did such a horrible, senseless act of killing, not only do such a thing, but as well... Both cars never stopped. 2 cars and 10 other cars that followed. Occupied vehicles by those whom have no heart. Amen.
I believe that God places people in various circumstances for good reason. It's God's will to have me placed in a very hard circumstance today, but I would not have it any other way. I would not change how I reacted in this situation, never, not ever. I also believe that God watches over us. Even those who senselessly did not stop for an elderly pet that died so senselessly by humans who had the chance to stop. They didn't. Lastly, I am a believer. A firm believer that God remembers those who have a heart when they are called back home to Heaven.
As promised to their daughter, who so compassionately stays with her parents at their home. Not a nursing home. Not any other home, but the home where the lived their entire lives. A place where they raised their daughter and a place where their daughter plans to care for them during a very sad shared Alzheimer's journey. The couple with a heart of gold. A heart that goes beyond most of us will ever know and the joy of taking care of and loving pets that need only one thing. LOVE. Today was the hardest lesson and the most heart shattering experience that I have ever had to endure so far in my lifetime. Even so... Yes, there is still a silver lining. A blessing from God as promised to the daughter and her parents. Chester Orangie Angel had a very proper burial and even got blessed with holy water. He was carefully brought to a very safe haven. A place where he can rest peacefully with a soft, warm blanket and two small cat toys cradled in his paw. A close place where the couple and their daughter can visit Chester Orangie Angel.
Our Home.
We all have a heart. I can only pray that by sharing my story. We can all learn to use our heart not only more willingly, but more compassionately.
LOVE conquers ALL~
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at 12:01 AM EST
Updated: February 28, 2017 5:12 AM EST