Mood:
hug meNow Playing: Day 873-The Final Road To Survival
After a good nights sleep allowing my brain to recover I still woke up with the reality of changes to come. Its going to be a tough rest of the year but, "It is what it is." Seems to be my favorite saying lately doesn't it? Today was also a good day to get out and enjoy nature at the same time finding that inner kid again. The weather made it a perfect day to reflect on the many joys of life. Our feathered friends who were abandoned months ago also show me that no matter how tough life gets and no matter who leaves your side you can still do it! You can survive! Amen.
My appointment yesterday left no questions unanswered. It was also nice to finally have a CLEAR understanding regarding the great hair-loss caper and episodes of strange abdominal rashes along with high fevers. There isn't much my specialist can't answer which can be a good thing to someone like me who is a straight shooter and does better with knowing than those who would rather not know. The down side is the visit left Eric feeling a bit anxious and depressed. It is very clear now why I am getting the abdominal rashes with high fever and sweats. Its also very clear now why my hair has yet to stop coming out. What I didn't realize was how much of our GI system controls various parts of our body. One must never forget that 70% of the immune system can be found in our gut and intestines. The big problem is mine don't work and I am now experiencing the battle on the inside showing up in strange ways on the outside. This includes the rashes, fever, sweats, low blood pressure, low blood sugar problems, low serotonin levels, etc, etc, etc. Yes, it is officially "ALL" connected. Add the problem of almost zero absorption of important nutrients that easily explains all of the constant hair loss. I told my doctor, "It might be a good thing I was blessed with too much hair when I was born because it would had been gone many months ago." The sad fact is my hair doesn't have the nutrients to grow which is why its coming out by the root. Its in fact...dying.
Last month I got the other bad news after a well known Colon surgery advised me there are no further options nor treatments. Things have went past the point of help. They can't remove my colon nor parts of the small intestine because it would only cause further problems and surgical options would not help when things have quickly progressed beyond control. My specialist personally knows the surgeon although he didn't seem surprised to find out she could not remove the colon or parts of the intestines due to no further surgical options. The problem he said is my GI tract doesn't work and it is causing other organs to also malfunction. This includes my kidneys that work when they feel like it and also the misfiring within other organs in which I rarely get any warnings. I am very lucky to at least get an aura before my seizures. Since I had a photo of the rash yesterday it made diagnosing things that much easier for my specialist. Lesson learned that if something sounds strange or looks odd always write everything down as they are happening and by all means if you can, "TAKE A PHOTO!" This helps our doctors to get a better understanding and it could also mean an answer when time is of the essense.
Since my specialist is concerned of rapid changes and toxic levels within the blood unfortunately we had to run more tests. He will also need to scan me next month for possible tumors. He told me, "Its ok to sleep and we expect you to because your body is tired. I understand your brain wants to fight what your body can no longer tolerate. Its very common when you are sick and dealing with the progression of a condition. Make sure to allow yourself the rest because your body needs it." He also has me now taking Tylenol and Advil alternating between the two before and after each weekly treatment. Sleeping for 10 hours then waking up only to find your body once again tired after 4-5 hours is hard to swallow when I am used to staying active due to gravity is a GP patients best friend. Its no wonder my Gastroparesis has been in an uproar. Just another reason why its very important for me to stay on a liquid diet, continue watering things down and remaining closely on schedule with my weekly treatments.
I promised myself that when it was time to part ways with the rest of my hair it would be up to me and not my Idiopathic GP. Seems I am now at that point because as my doctor said, "It won't grow back. It doesn't have the nutrients to do so and your immune system isn't strong enough." S I G H... Oh well, like I always said, "Its only hair."
This evening I received another email about someone losing a loved one to the hands of Gastroparesis. My heart and prayers go out to their family, friends and loved ones. It is also a reminder on the seriousness of the condition that not just I suffer from but millions of people all around the world. It does put things in better perspective when it comes to the Gastroparesis Awareness Campaign mission and the continued fight for Awarenesss that one day will help lead to a cure.
www.gastroparesisawareness.com
happy
YEAH FOR MR. BEARKITTY!! 
Since I am in for the last round of VAMPIRE testing tomorrow afternoon I vowed no matter what that this evening we head up to the park. It not only did me some good but we both gained from a relaxing time near the lake. Even my feathered buddies were there happily greeting us and waiting for some bread. The geese have all started their trip home for the winter. They will surely be missed. Soon enough the rest of the feathered gang will be following closely behind. This means the year is soon coming to an end and what a spring and summer full of some wonderful memories we have had that money can never buy. Those are always the best kind! Amen!
chillin'
What a way to wake up! My dear friend John is taking a soul searching trek and looks like he might had a few furry friends who decided to tag along. He not only sent me photos of one bear but THREE very hungry "BIG GUYS!"
Once Eric got home we waited a few hours to avoid work traffic before heading out to the animal clinic. BearKitty is doing fairly well with his new prescription diabetic food however the rest of the gang aren't too happy. The Veterinarian said, "They can all eat the same food because its very healthy for them." The other kittygang sure beg to differ! Since the animal clinic closes at 9pm we decided to head out around 7pm that way it won't be as busy. Actually once we arrived they took us right back to a room. BearKitty was petrified so I stayed close near the cage and tried to comfort him. Once our Veterinarian came into the room he was ready to start training us on insulin shots and how to monitor Bear's blood sugar levels. This was before he realized BearKitty is still taking his antibiotics. DANG IT! So instead of getting educated on feline diabetes he had to run another blood sugar panel on poor Bear and he was NOT a happy kitty. Thankfully they were able to take his blood without having to shave more fur. For now they won't have the results back until the next 24-48 hours so we were advised to finish the rest of his antibiotics and continue keeping a close eye on him. In order to figure out the right amount of insulin they need to get a second reading of his sugar with consideration of the new diabetic food. This will also help us in knowing how to adjust his medication. The other kitty gang have been passing the same virus around that made Bear sick so we now have enough medicine to treat them all at once. 
Its been nice having some peace and quiet for a change and it also helps the fur gang. Stress not only effects humans but also animals. Its not worth risking my health anymore or any further than I have sadly already let it nor is it by risking our fur kids health. With fall just around the corner maybe this is a first sign of many new changes and positive leaves to turn. Amen.
down
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ............. That's me! Actually both of us seeing Eric had to pull almost an 18 hour day with both jobs. At least one of us has a way to escape. When I used to be able to work it was always a way for me to escape life and I really loved my job. One of my dear friends in the city told me this evening, "Not working is really starting to get to you isn't it?" Ummmm...That is an understatement! I like to be productive and when life slowly takes that away I start to feel extremely B L A H... Lately I am finding myself constantly fighting the blahs although not feeling good doesn't help either. 
Thank goodness the first coat of stain got finished yesterday. Just in time before the rain! We sure need all the rain we can get and hopefully more will be in the forecast later this week. The grass now resembles crunchy tumbleweed so it will be awhile before it needs mowed again. Wish I could say the same about the weeds running wild but luckily Eric bought a new weed eater last month. Oreo and Littleblue were upset today because it was too wet outside for playtime in the backyard. Since the ground is still very dry I have a feeling they will be able to get some of their energy out again tomorrow. 
spacey
Eric will be doing a double shift starting this evening so it was a good thing we both caught up some much needed sleep. He goes from one job straight to the other-17.5 hours. Talking about being tired tomorrow afternoon! He's going to be exhausted. Since I was already off balance with fluids I was told to start treatment Monday to avoid having to go right back to the hospital. I totally agree! Mr. Rash decided to once again pay me another visit earlier this evening but luckily it went away within an hour. I can't wait to find out what the heck is causing my immune system and blood to be doing some very odd things. We will be finding that out later next week but for now I was told to take it easy, wear masks when out and around the public and cover up due to the abundance of virus carrying mosquito's we are experiencing with all the dry weather. Since we have woods and lots of trees surrounding us its super important to stay covered up when outside. My Oncologist/Hematologist contracted viral Meningitis from a mosquito bite four years ago and another patient of his got mononucleosis. YIKES! We also use Deep Woods Off products (Did I just do another free product plug?) which help out a lot during this time of the year.
One can get sick and tired of being stuck at home so this evening we took a walk and wheelchair at our local park. I can't tell you how GREAT it felt to just get the heck out of the house, even if it was for only 40 minutes. You can sure tell fall is just around the corner and the leaves are already starting to change color. BEAUTIFUL! On the way back we took a drive around the car lot by our house so I could take a closer look at the new 2013 vehicles. I will be getting a new car soon since mine is a 2008 and its time to part ways. I'm not sure if I want a standard size car or a truck. I am so used to sitting up a bit higher in my vehicle now and its much easier with back problems to get in and out compared to sitting down into a car. The 2013 Chevrolet Silverado extend cabs aren't out yet-unless they are hidden at our local dealership-so hopefully they will be available by next month. Since I don't hardly drive we don't really use a lot of gas so having a truck won't be that big of a deal. We are just hoping my doctors don't literally pull me from driving. I see my Neurologist's team the end of September so they can review my seizures. Thanks again Mr. Gastroparesis! Like many other patients say which is very true, "Gastroparesis can literally suck the life out of you." Amen. It can also take your job and car keys right out of your hands too! I have already got shot down three times now by asking if maybe I could "try" and go back to work. Instead of "Yes" I have gotten the, "ARE YOU NUTS"
look more than I would like to say but hey! give this gal credit for trying. I just miss being productive. I can't stand all this napping and even worse fighting the fatigue. Its just a eery reminder that my body is slowly losing this battle and that's something no one wants to face. 
This evening after looking at the DVR schedule there are 11 shows to catch up on but go figure 15 minutes into the very first one I was out like a light! BearKitty has also been catching lots of extra zzzzz's sleeping behind my head. He is still not feeling well but at least not vomiting as much. I feel just horrible for my poor little guy. No one likes to see anyone suffer and I sure don't like to see my fur kids sick either. After showing me the photo he took of us while I was sleeping Eric said, "Bear hasn't moved an inch except to take a quick water or food break then hes right back in the same spot laying above your head." BearKitty is my new sleepy buddy and now we can both keep a close eye on each other. Xoxoxoxoxo
Any GP'er who gets hit with any virus is playing Russian Roulette but the stomach virus can become a deadly game when our digestive tract doesn't work. YIKES! I don't qualify for flu shots due to my compromised immune system however Eric is already one step ahead! Since he has military orders starting Monday from the state of Ohio he will be stepping away from the Sheriff's department for three weeks. This always means he can go ahead and get his flu shots from the Army next week. Better to be SAFE than SORRY. Amen.
Littleblue is officially shed-free! WOOHOA! Since her day at the Groomers they were able to use some new grooming tools that actually removed her summer fur that was puffing out due to her winter coat already growing in for the upcoming season. I can't tell you how much time it has saved both of us! Now we don't have to continue putting things in the dryer to get the fur off or doing the daily brush/rake out game. Littleblue feels much better now and Oreo has also been enjoying his short hair cut. Now he doesn't have to lay in front of the fan all of the time. When you constantly lack energy and your not feeling well time is of the essence. Any little break and help we can get is greatly appreciated! Thank you so much Galina & Bryan!!
This evening a few local friends whom are also now my family came to visit and we played a few new Wii games. They are super sweet and I am so glad to have that much needed support! Eric has also been introducing me to some of his amazing friends and its nice to have them also meet a few of my friends in the city. One of my friends that I have known through out the years from my prior job before going on disability sadly got recently diagnosed with Crohns disease. This is now two people over the past three years I have known to get diagnosed with Crohns. Him and his fiance have been going through the changes with being newly diagnosed. He has been having stomach and other GI problems for the past four months but had no idea what was in store for him once he got his test results back last week. Its nice to know I could be of support and someone they can confide in. My heart goes out to him. Life he said isn't the same and what I used to know doesn't work anymore. He said, "Food that we all take for granted as a means for survival has now become my enemy. People don't get it until they live it. I don't know how you have dealt first hand with so many rude people through out the years but I am sure to run into my fair share very soon!" We all plan on celebrating next month at Indiana Downs when me and Eric redo our vows. For me its not just about celebrating life but overcoming odds that continue to be stacked again me. Its nice to blend our friends together and hey! if they accept me with no makeup and crap clothes while laying on my couchbed then we are certainly going to be friends for life! 
Hahahahaha! 
They will need me to see my Oncologist/Hematologist next week to further evaluate things. My scan still shows my right bowel flipped with my ovary stuck. Its no wonder they said I am having so much pressure pain that tends to become worse at night. At this point anything is possible but surgery is not. Just another reason why most normal folks would had already been under the knife and on their way to a smooth recovery. Not when it comes to Gastroparesis and when it progresses into the immune system. Options run out. Mine ran out awhile ago which is why I need to get my game face back on for the next medical battle. Two hours later I was ready to go home and BearKitty was ready to be picked up. Eric dropped me off, took a quick five minute late lunch break then headed right back out the door. It hasn't been a cheap day either. It never is when you are sick. Same goes for fur kids too! In less than 48 hours we have spent almost $400.00 in Vet, doctors, prescriptions, nutrition supplements and gas running around the city. Its been a MASTERCARD day!
Around 8:30pm Eric was finally able to sit down for the day. I was happy to be home and so was BearKitty. They will need to see him again next week to recheck his blood and educate us on diabetes in cats and how to give him his shots, etc. Thankfully I don't need to see my specialist until later next week. We still need to keep a very close eye on BearKitty and start him on his other medication starting tomorrow. Its been a crazy day and Eric has been down right frustrated. RIGHTFULLY SO! Where is the help in this city besides Angels we call our close friends? No where to be found which is why its so important to continue building our support system. It will happen. All in good timing! The good Lord only gives you what you can handle. Eric has been amazing and I am beyond thankful! Amen.
don't ask
Instead of Wednesday really this should had been a Monday because things didn't get any better. I was bombarded once again with not so pleasant stress that seems to be in the air within this city. If this was another game of craps I would be a winner! Things are getting to be repetitive, almost predictable. Actually what am I saying? They ARE! Now its like breathing in air because after awhile one gets used to it and slowly things don't bother you as much anymore. You learn to think of #1 and walk away. What I re-focused on this late afternoon once I got some rest was Mr. BearKitty who hasn't been feeling too well. He started vomiting yesterday evening and so far it has yet to stop. We have been keeping a close eye on him but this evening things got worse. He was very lethargic and hardly able to walk. Since I was still experiencing the hellish two day Drano treatment along with tremors Eric volunteered to take him up to the vet. 
