Mood:
happyNow Playing: Day 843-The Final Road To Survival
With only having 2 days of freedom left from the dreaded Drano aka Hell-In-A-Jug we thought it would be a great idea to meet some friends later this evening to get me of course out of the house and also give Eric a break! Its been a LOCO week and my nerves have been shot! Its getting rare to find any sort of break and since I thought today was a good head day and maybe I could have a chance to get away we made plans to go out this evening. Of course this was after the sun goes down and us Vampiressssssss (those with seizure issues) can break free.
We have finally be able to catch up on some much needed rain the past few weeks although its still very dry and the bushes in the front are already dropping their leaves. What hasn't been starving are all the darn weeds this year. GEEZ! Once you cut them back it seems only days later they return with avengeance. Sometimes I have a "denial moment" and believe maybe, just maybe it was all a bad dream and I am normal again. Its in these moments and lapse of thinking that tend to always get me into trouble.
Like today!
Ten minutes into "thinking" I could help with the yard work wearing my trusty mask and dark sunglasses instead turned into me about passing out in the backyard instead of helping to clean it up. NOTE TO SELF: NOT TOO SMART! It was a good thing my better half was outside with me and noticed my face turning bright red. Needless to say there won't be anymore bright ideas or lapse of judgment for this gal. That's the hard part living with a medical condition that is not only ruthless but you can never determine one minute from the next. My brain still wants desperately to be normal but my body begs to differ. Same with yesterday and sitting for way too long because last night my spine was suffering the consequences and so were my intestines. Today is all about keeping my body moving without having a heat stroke. DUH ON ME!
By the time we both finished doing the rest of the chores in and around the house it was already time to take a shower and get ready to head out for the evening. We decided to meet everyone around 8:30pm and drove separately just in case my GP payed me an unwelcoming visit. I did fairly well with just a few minor head and stomach issues-nausea, slight headache but that's what my emergency meds are for and I refused to not give it my all to finally have some low key fun. It felt GREAT to get out and feel normal for once! I try to keep my medical nightmare private when it comes to Eric's friends. They know I suffer from a incurable medical condition however they don't prey and leave things up to me if I want to talk about it. Its nice sometimes to be ME without Gastroparesis. I call it breaking free from reality if only for a few hours or so. AMEN!
By the time we were all ready to head home there were only three cars left in the parking lot. OURS. Hahahahaha! You know us VAMPIREEEEEEEEES......We tend to be awake at night and sleep during the day. Hey! that's life. My LIFE for ya! We both had a nice time but all good things must come to an end and this gal was EXHAUSTED! Once we got back home my better half did all the night time chores getting my couchbed ready and taking the fur kids outside for one last walk. Needless to say there won't be any sheep counting tonight!ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ........ 
hug me
chillin'
Most people dread Mondays but not this gal! 
that I have only seen twice and a little Barbie Angel girl that is going to grow up to be a beautiful princess.
I couldn't had planned a better visit! Eric said, DITTO!!
not sure
Here we go again folks....Nothing more ANNOYING than having to once again prove to others that I am SICK. The best part of proving this FACTUAL information is when the courts keep records of your SSD hearing. The down side is the continued mental anguish and overwhelming stress once again that I have to endure due to others. More like, "Lack of education and awareness." What I "should" be doing instead is focusing on my health which is #1 priority but instead I am once again having to dig up my past in which I found it literally came full circle. How so you may ask? In the pile of records from my attorney I came across some medical records in which I was told I "might" want to look at when I have some time. Time? Plenty of it seeing I don't get out much when your drinking Drano then battling the aftermath for the next five days. What I came across was not only shocking but extremely sad FACTS. Fact-I was not just a sick infant but a sick adolescent. Fact-I had GI disturbances through out my entire life. Now finally the surgeons FACTS had finally made sense! The questions that still remained unanswered are where is the biopsy reports and where are the specialist reports since I would had been referred to a GI specialist as a child?... Right? Ummm?... Could had things been prevented decades ago? Answer-possibly. Its not a mystery any further wondering how nerves in my GI organs had mysterious just stopped working. Between medical reports that dated back as a young child on top of the list of my severe GI problems per FACTUAL SSD reports have finally started to make sense for not just my doctors but most importantly ME. I have been sick all of my life and sick means the GI road/path that progressed now into my adulthood. 
FACTS for any one who wants to challenge once again that I am not sick because I am SICK of defending myself on FACTS:
quizzical
This is going to be an educational blog this evening folks so get out your pencils and pens.
celebratory
d'oh
Oh well....All I can do is continue doing the best I can do and at least my specialists totally understand! They don't want to go the tube or IV route seeing my compromised immune system couldn't handle any line infections. That would only make things a million times worse for me and for them! Lately I am just flat out TIRED but its only to be expected. Friends were over today and even commented on the fact I didn't look so good. Maybe since I see myself in the mirror everyday I don't see the changes as much unlike others who don't see me on a daily basis. I still respect their honesty because I can't deny the fact that if my insides are changing and not for the better my outer appearance will also in time suffer. Thank goodness for hair care products, wigs and make up but sometimes you can't always hide the bags and darkness under your eyes.
Campbell's healthy choice low sodium cream soups now taste more like watersoup with a hint of flavor. I tried tomato the past few days which takes me 2-3 days just to consume one can seeing I have to add so much water that one can now becomes two. It honestly has about 5% tomato taste and 95% water. I was given the heads up to attempt my next treatment tomorrow seeing today I wasn't feeling well with the constant intermitten pain followed by severe fatigue and darn seizure aura. I'm not used to taking more than one nap through out the day but let's be honest by saying my body is officially B E A T!
At least I was able to do some walking later this afternoon followed by a final walk with Eric and the fur kids this evening. Any little bit of help from gravity counts for us GP'ers.
My GP Angel Eliana got a late birthday gift from her ole GP Auntie Aunt today via mail. I am so glad she really loves her rainbow wall maker. TOO CUTE! I told her Mom this evening that if Eliana wakes up and finds a pot of gold in her room then this gal is getting one for herself! Hee,hee,hee...Eric thinks it would be a great idea to buy one for little Erik although I have a hunch I will be making the most use of it. Anything to soothe the soul during bad GP days and who doesn't love rainbows?!
It's a HUGE relief for both of us!! The new white stones also match the seashells I have around the landscaping from prior years vacationing down south in Florida. I can't wait for fall to enjoy our homemade sandbox in the backyard we made last year.
Hopefully by then the temperatures will be much cooler and the honeysuckle bushes the neighbors butchered way too far back will be taller for some much needed shade. I also can't forget another reason why I love fall because it means plenty of relaxing evenings by the firepit. A H H H H...
One of my friends here in the city has been enjoying some down time with his Son taking in a few local Red's games. It would be great to join them but he totally understands I just can't do the heat with my Gastroparesis. The last time I did see a game was when I went with his amazing family and I remember having a blast! This of course was yearsss ago. Oh...the things I sure miss doing before I was sick...It can be down right depressing if you let it and frustrating as all heck too! I am sure many other patients can relate with the lack of energy and complete change of life. Its overwhelming at times but I still do my best to find other things in life to enjoy like watching my new wildlife kid outside. Yes, instead of Mr. Groundhog we officially named him "Mr. Happy" today because no matter how bad of a day you might be having just seeing this cute and huge ball of fur is enough to make you smile. Mr. Happy is getting so used to us and his daily feedings of Cheerios and Carrots that this afternoon he came within 8 feet without even flenching. Now that is TRUST! Since he lives in the front of the house we make sure to keep Oreo and Littleblue on a leash when letting them outside. When they play in the backyard we first do a complete walk around before letting them out just in case Mr. Happy is chomping on the grass. 
bright
