Now Playing: Day 712-The Final Road To Survival
Through out my eight year GP journey I have always maintained the strength to continue being a fighter. This week I have learned even through the worst part of the journey one must continue looking for the silver lining among the clouds.
Me-Aren't you tired of my body going against me yet?
Friend-Yeah sometimes but its not your fault and it will never cause me to leave or walk away from our friendship. I will always be by your side no matter what!
Me-I am glad you are here for me. I no longer feel nor will I ever be alone.
Friend-You will never be alone. We are all in this together. You have me and so many other friends in this world who truly care and will fight to help keep you safe.
Friend-Always remember I want to be here. I am glad to be here for you.
Me-I am fortunate to have you and the others to help keep my faith strong and my head on straight!
9:30am and UP with the PAIN. Every other hour cat naps are for the cats but my kittygang are literally now getting more sleep than I am, hahahahaha! My friend-Caregiver had to help move my leg in order to stand since I can't feel from my knee up. We decided today to move the wheelchair out of the back of my car into the living room this way when my leg goes numb I can at least lean against the wheelchair to stand back up. My doctors today said it is from the chronic and progressive nerve damage in my spine. The lower part of my lumbar is extremely damaged which has my sciatica nerve trapped. That nerve is wrapped around and goes down the front of my leg which explains the symptoms over the past few weeks going from A-Z. Bad news of the day #1.
My Gastroenterology and his assistant went over all the hospital reports as well catscan and tests. I got a call at 10am and was told I need to see a Nephrologist for my kidneys, family doctor for pain-inflammation medication, Oncologist/Hematologist for lymph nodes and my GYN-Surgeon. Hmmmm?...I was kinda confused on the last part but figured it might just had been an error so after I got off the phone I called my family doctor who worked me into their schedule at 3:30pm. Thankfully once I got up and moved around for an hour my left leg woke up enough to lay back down and sleep. My cell phone alarm went off at 3pm which was long enough to get dressed and for my friend-Caregiver to do some house chores before heading to the first doctors appointment. Since they literally worked me into their schedule I got back to a room within five minutes. My doctor looked at the emergency room visits and said, "There are quite a few serious chronic issues going on inside your body. We are going to have to take things one at a time." An hour later I was given a list of things to do and other specialists to see but luckily I am already one step ahead! I was also given some strong medication to hopefully ease up some of the nasty inflammation going on around my organs. What did surprise us was finding out the catscan at the hospital showed a very enlarged right ovary. I don't remember being told this nor did my friend-Caregiver. Hmmmm....This now made perfect sense why my Gastroenterologist advised I see my GYN-Surgeon who performed my last surgery with my main surgeon. GEES! Something else? Don't I have enough on my plate?
My doctor totally understood the concern with my kidneys not functioning properly although the key is I don't have any infections going on with my kidneys. The problem I have is once again with nerve damage which allows my organs much like my kidneys to function properly. After speaking to a few other specialists of mine the past few days I agreed with my doctor that there isn't anything they can do and I am fortunate everything that was found by accident on the catscan is in the "beginning stages." WHEW! They can't nor will anyone do any type of surgery. My friend-Caregiver said, "If they found a bullet inside you right now they still won't do surgery." Very, very true because my chances of coming out of the surgery room are very slim and recovering from surgery even worse. My doctors decided that right now I need to understand they can't repair damaged nerves that are causing my organs to not work properly so honestly whats the sense of adding another specialist? If I develop a kidney infection or infections that is a different story but even a Nephrologist can't restart damaged and dying nerves.
In between leaving one doctors appointment and heading straight to another we stopped by the pharmacy to drop off my prescriptions. I also called my GYN-Surgeon and they scheduled a ultrasound for next week to look at my problem ovary. This is the same ovary they had horrible problems with during my last nightmare surgery. Will they do anything with the ovary even after more testing? 95%-No. It is important to my other specialists to get the scan done in order to keep them updated so they can all work together with my care and managing the pain? Yes. My Oncologist-Hematologist will be gathering all the information he needs and I will be seeing him also next week. I am glad to divide up all these doctor visits over a two week period seeing I am already mentally and physically tired! My other doctors appointment today went as expected. My friend-Caregiver even said on our way out of my doctors office that sometimes you just feel better confirming what you already know to be true. Story of my life! Hahahaha!
Today after finding out that although I have a lot of nasty things going on inside my body at least things are in the beginning stages. As far as my spine is concerned the damage is already done. My specialists said it will progress but I have already come to the understanding two weeks ago when this all started that I can live with it. If it wasn't for my spine shifting then causing severe pain and numbness in my leg I would had never had the catscan done at the hospital. I would had never found out the other problems going on inside my body until it might had been too late.
Today I found my silver lining once again among the clouds. Amen.