Mood:
don't askNow Playing: Day 678-The Final Road To Survival
It has been one heck of a stressful day! I can't wait to get out and escape life even if only for a few hours because of all times this is when I need it most! I set my cell phone alarm so I didn't sleep the day away. I had to head back down to the courthouse for the second time this week trying to get things filed but seems the docket office isn't even sure on what forms I need. I 'thought' finally I had everything good to go only to be told I was missing another set of forms then one set I was told I needed yesterday I now don't need then they close at 4pm but only do filings until 3:30pm blah, blah, blah, blah....Another Charlie Brown's teacher day where everything sounds like it blends together making absolutely no sense at all. I almost cried in line when I was told once again I would have to come back. What they don't understand is my medical condition and how hard all this stress is to a pre-existing condition. What I would had liked to do was ask if everyone was on the same page because they clearly were not. Once I was told I had to come back again I was so frustrated I couldn't even look up at the docket office staff but only put my head down and turned away.
It's not easy being disabled. Its not fun nor is it a free joy ride milking the system like some may believe. I would like to take this day from hell and personally hand it over to those who feel anyone is milking the system by being disabled to take a walk in my shoes for a change. Any ones shoes who battles a chronic condition on a daily basis trying to find normal energy and deal with normal daily activities with a twist. I once again had to deal with my insurance company who insists I pay for one prescription at a time with my Hell-In-A-Jug treatments which are done on a weekly basis. Its hard enough living a unique life with a medical condition but add onto the stressful mix your insurance company breathing down your neck not wanting to cover medical necessary medication. No its not a generic statement when anyone discriminates against others who are sick regardless what condition it is and clearly I am reminded of those choice of bad words when I am faced with a day like today. Worst part is when days like today I am reminded by my limitations and those exact words. Especially knowing they came from a family member.
Once we got out of the downtown mess and dealing with a very unorganized courthouse it was time to get out and escape life-reality. I was more than ready to go out this evening and not have to wait until the weekend. We were suppose to get severe weather including hail, high winds and a chance of tornado's this evening but like Gastroparesis our weather anymore is just that. "Unpredictable." After keeping a close eye on the local radar and listening to the weather forecast I felt comfortable to still proceed with this evenings plans heading out to de-stress because we both needed it! Not only was going with my gut a smart decision but I had a great time and I was able to put the stressful day behind me. I refuse to allow stress to continue longer than it need be and its not worth wasting my energy when I can put that towards having fun enjoying life. Amen.
Did we get those strong storms? Nope. The only thing we got was a few gusts of wind and a light drizzle or two. They are saying snow in the forecast for this weekend. If so I will be one happy gal! Maybe we will have winter weather for the spring and summer since its been spring and summer weather all winter. Hahahahaha! Say that ten times really fast!
“Courage is the discovery that you may not win, and trying when you know you can lose.”
celebratory
It's been a longggg day! 
Darn if I didn't forget to set my cell phone alarm last night when I went to bed at a record time of 2am. I was beat! So beat I almost slept through my dentist appointment. At least I had my clothes set out and the coffee maker ready to go so once we got up and let the dogs out it didn't take long to head out the door. I got to the dentist's office with three minutes to spare. Some how I feel like maybe I have earned myself a frequent dentist pass or a rewards program card. Hahahaha! Something with maybe trip points based off of how much dental work you've had done. If that was possible they could have sent me around the world by now. I not only won myself more dental work today but another visit early next month. WOOHOO! NOT. 
We did stop by a wig shop after my dentist appointment because someone suggested I look into a human hair wig. I was told they last longer than the synthetic ones. What they didn't tell me was how horribly cheap they look with an expensive price tag to boot! OUCH! Thanks but no thanks. I will stick to the ones I have now and the lady who sells them in a huge stylish shop by my home. The one I went to this afternoon looked as if the building stepped right out of the 50's. Wigs to match. Ahhhhh things us GP patients have to look forward to including hair issues but its only as easy of a transition as you make it. I do mine with a sense of humor and an easy going attitude. At least once my hair is finally gone I will wear stylish wigs that don't look like something out of the cartoon, 'The Jetsons.' 
irritated
Today felt like Monday all over again. It started on the wrong foot but at least ended much, much better and I was able to get more than a few things accomplished off my huge week "To Do List." Just when I thought I had all the court papers completed POOF! there are two more sets to complete. Seems there is a reason why lawyers exist and it isn't always to represent you but just to do the arm length of papers that need to be filed out by our court system. After that snafu experience I headed to pick up my Drano prescription refill only to be told the insurance company once again refuses to cover it. Seems they don't understand over and over and over and over again why I am drinking colonoscopy/surgical bowel prep on a weekly basis since most people who lose intestinal motility have most of their intestines removed then get a colostomy bag. I tend to firmly believe they have never met a gal like me. Hahahaha! So once again I had to go through the same ole song and Drano dance: Call my Gastroenterologist, have him fax a medical necessity letter to the insurance company then contact the pharmacy.
At least once we got back home things turned to a more positive note. THANK GOODNESS! I got some wonderful news online from a private owned corporation and more great news coming from us both in June. I am also hoping to meet some fellow GP friends next month if the ole Gastroparesis permits but for now I have to take things one day at a time. The fur kids were on their best behavior and got two walks this evening. They were both very happy to get some time to play outside. The house chores are caught up and so is the wash. WOOHOO! I am on a roll and here's hoping that my dentist appointment tomorrow leaves me with teeth still left in my mouth. Hahahaha! YIKES!
d'oh
I have a Drano hangover from hell. I also didn't get to sleep until 5:15am after two hours of stabbing pain. Seems not only did the Drano aka Hell-In-A-Jug hit me way too late but it also got stuck in my lower intestine. The sharp stabbing pain started around 2:30am. Usually taking a walk helps to move things around and if my intestine is kinked up it will 'usually' help release it but not this time. We got the fur kids on their leashes and headed to the park across the street but once I started walking the pain got worse. Once we made it half way through the park I quickly had to turn right back around because the pain was getting to be off the charts. Its times like these when you must question how much more pain you can take and if its time to head to the emergency room. What I need to get is a stethoscope this way I can hear bowel sounds and find out exactly where they are coming from. Once I got back in the house I did my best to find a comfortable position then placed my hands firmly over the area where the pain was coming from and sure enough the darn Drano was stuck where my colon is fused to other parts of my intestines. I got to a 9 on a scale of 1-10 with the pain and told myself I could handle a 12 then it was time to head up to the hospital. Luckily around 5am after two hours of pain the liquid dynamite was finally able to move through the last part of my intestines and the pain started to ease up enough for me to finally lay down. I didn't get up until 2:30pm but am happy to say I did wake up pain-free. THANK GOODNESS! This next treatment I will be starting earlier!
At least the kitty gang don't have to worry about dental problems but with the spring like temperatures they too are starting to shed earlier than expected. Once I get the brush out they like to run as I try to brush them. Most cats love being brushed but I think mine believe its nothing more than playtime. Hahahahaha!
While consuming the nasty salt water with a kick I noticed it might be time to replace the ole couchbed and loveseat. The set is only four years old but I don't want to wait until its no longer in good shape to sell it. With it being tax refund season if I am going to sell it now is the time! I have the new extra large recliner in the backroom that has only been used around five times so I was thinking of just buying a sofa to replace the one I have now and putting both recliners in the living room where the loveseat is placed. This would allow for more open space and guests could use the recliners when visiting. The new sofa will be a bit larger than the old one which also allows for more room to sit. I cleaned them both up this evening and took a few pictures and placed the online ads. Hopefully it won't be a problem selling them so I can buy the new sofa before spring.
Lot's of new and exciting changes coming soon and I can't wait! Its about time for some positive news isn't it?! CHEERS!
a-ok
It was a horrible nights sleep as the waves of nausea and vomiting paid me another unwelcome visit. Just as soon as I was getting comfortable and ready to go to sleep which was around 4am it hit me in full force. Time to get Mr. Yellow Puke Pan back out again...GEES! That's the problem when you are hit with severe vagus nerve damage because it stems from the back of your head all the way down your GI tract. Nausea and vomiting is very common once the damage progresses. I have noticed a connection with the tremors because they tend to start right before the nausea hits then the last of it ends with vomiting then I finally get some relief. Since my last doctors appointments I was strongly advised to no longer take any anti nausea medication because it was just prolonging things. My body needs to work through the symptoms in order to move past them. Nothing quite like sucking things up but I figure if I can do it for years with the off the chart pain I can do the same with the nausea and vomiting.
Today was a day to catch up on errands and some house chores. I got mostly everything done with just a few things left to do tomorrow. With treatment and making sure I keep moving allowing gravity to help it will be a good thing I left some things for tomorrow. This evening I made some homemade Mexican for friends as I braved my first tiny cup of low fat ice cream yogurt. Most people could eat this in a few bites but my stomach just couldn't handle it. I made it through half the small cup then had to put the rest back in the freezer. I still haven't been able to drink half of a 32oz Gatorade on a daily basis yet but one step at a time. At least the homemade Mexican was a huge hit and there wasn't one clean plate left.
Hahahahaha! God might limit me on what I can eat but he didn't limit me in the ability to still be a darn good cook! Amen. 
happy
I made good on the promise to myself heading out at least once a week to have some fun and enjoy life. Tonight was the night although it was a very slow start due to the waves of nausea and vomiting. I figured it might be a short night when I was already yawning and getting tired before we even headed out the door. Hahahaha! There are so many new places I want to try up in the Dayton, Ohio area as well Northern Kentucky. At least I was able to visit one of them this evening although it was short lived. I just couldn't get my body to follow my brain and have some fun. My energy ran out after just two hours but "A" for effort and at least I gave it a good attempt! Luckily I still have a few great friends in the city, more than just acquaintances that totally understand my limitations that sometimes happen with my medical condition so we all decided to call it an early night. 
When I arrived home the fur kids greeted me at the front door with wagging tails. I had a friend take a few photos of us celebrating a late Valentine's day near all the wonderful cards and gifts I got from everyone. This might be a low key weekend but that's ok because there is always next week to play catch up with living life and having fun! Amen.
chillin'
I can only handle so many days in a row stuck in the house so today I ran some errands even taking the fur kids along for the ride. Oreo needs his toenails clipped and since the rain has let up this was a perfect opportunity to visit his groomer. Littleblue is continuing to shed her winter coat a few months early and what a mess! I must now vacuum the house once a day in order to stay on top of the hair. Luckily I have a defurminator rack so every day she gets brushed in the basement. Its a two man job but we're hoping most of her shedding will be done by early next week. I always keep covers on the couch but with her shedding they must be changed also once a day. Its a job! Oreo has short hair and when he does shed it isn't much. Thank goodness!
Jingles puppy gets to visit with the fur gang once a week. He is getting to be huge and now weighs 30 pounds. Its good for Littleblue because it helps to get her energy out and allows for some play time however since Oreo still has seizure problems he chooses to remain out of the playing and instead in the hiding far away on the couch. Oreo will be 14 years old this year and let's just say he has earned his "leave me alone freedom." Hee,hee,hee,hee...The groomer did mention when she was trimming his toenails that he seems a lot more calmer thanks to his new medication. He doesn't have seizures as often so its a good sign! Since I had Drano treatment for Valentine's day the only ones who got to celebrate were the fur kids.
special
This afternoon I received very sad news regarding the passing of a life that was cut far too short. It was news regarding the littlest Angel that now is with other Angels in Heaven. A life full of suffering and a life full of courage. A life full of determination and strength doing what so many Gastroparesis patients as well others who suffer from chronic and terminal conditions do on a daily basis which is to fight to stay alive. Fight to live in hopes of a cure. 
HAPPY VDRANO DAY! Hahahaha! For those of us GP'ers who are not so fortunate to have intestines that don't work and are past surgical options you all know exactly what I am referring to! YES! It's not just Valentine's Day but Hell-In-A-Jug Drano day too!
Early this morning I woke up to a huge Teddy Bear moving next to me on the recliner. I thought maybe I was losing it but nope, Pumpkin Kitty was doing his best to lay on Mr. Teddy Bear but instead only was able to put his paw on him. Hahahaha! It was a great photo opportunity too cute to pass up! Same with Oreo who is really enjoying the new living room furniture which allows for him to spread out on his big floor bed. Once I covered him up he was out like a light. Fur kids are so much like human kids aren't they?..
I am blessed for an amazing team of 16 specialists who treat me more than just being their patient but as a friend. They have allowed me to live longer than ever expected by giving me the tools to continue to fight the good fight. I will always be blessed to know for all the times I felt alone I was never truly alone and have the support of hundreds upon thousands of people who truly care. Even those in the city who look out for my emotional and physical well being I just want to say, "Thank you."
To everyone who loves me and allows me to love them back, "Thank you and may you have a very blessed Valentine's Day!" I am beyond appreciative for all the beautiful cards and gifts. You are all the best! May God always bless you and may Hershey find you in heaven today. The chocolate kind! Hee,hee,hee,hee...