Mood:
brightNow Playing: Day 658-The Final Road To Survival
You know what I love most about life? That when you are given another day to live you are also given another day to start on a clean slate. Life is great because when you wake up you are given another chance.
I can tell spring is right around the corner because the sun is now blazing through the curtains where I sleep on my couchbed. Now instead of just having black out curtains and dark colored towels over two large windows I now had to do the exact same thing with the other ones. Its a job just getting ready to lay down and sleep on my couchbed. Once I get up in the afternoon I am back to the same routine taking everything back down to let the sunlight in since I have plants in the room. GP is sure tough work isn't it?! We finally have a break from all the rain but don't knock on wood just yet seeing they are predicting more rain this weekend. UGGGG! Bring back the boats and repair kits for the foundation cracks in my basement. GEES! I dread rain anymore. Its scary because I never know what I will find. Forget ever having a house again with a basement. Thanks but no thanks and at this point downsizing from a three bedroom to a two bedroom might be better suited for this gal. Amen.
I am doing A-OK so far with all my new medication. Today was a better head & GP day. God knows I needed a break! I did run into a few issues this early afternoon but then with the head pressure that started coming on I quickly had to put a lid on it with nails included. You say the word: STRESS. I am outta there with the fastest pair of Nike's you can find! I will not do stress anymore. It is taking a huge toll on my health. My Gastroparesis, MS and other connected problems with my damaged nerves can not be anywhere near drama or stress. There are huge and definite changes that will continue being made for my health and happiness. I have learned to let go of those who decided they no longer want to be part of my life. I have learned to let go of those who do no want to be part of my support system. You can't force people to change but you can change how you react. Call it, 'I hit the don't care switch and now leaving it turned on.' Its time as many of my friends have highly suggested that I take care of myself for a change and not care two cents about those in the city who left my side because clearly they were only thinking about one person. Themselves. This also includes anyone who would rather bask in the sun sipping drinks while a loved one is in the hospital and home suffering. Clearly they too are thinking of only one person. Themselves. Thank you to those who watch my back, gave me a wake up call and made me finally see the light. I am making my way around all my specialists over the course of the next three months. Now that I am fully aware of why I am getting head issues-seizures, etc connected with my Gastroparesis as well having fully understood post concussion syndrome and my limitations I am in the know and not scared anymore. It also is helping me feel more comfortable when I am home alone. I feel liberated now! With having a head free evening I decided to jump on an offer by a friend to head out to Dave and Busters entertainment complex. It was only for a few hours but I was just tickled pink to get the heck out of my house-jail! I did run into a few waves of head pressure, nausea and dizziness but I remained calm and told myself, "This is just nerve firing going on and it will let up soon. You have someone with you who understands and knows what to do if you have a seizure or black out. You will be ok." And I was! I was OK and I made it through both attacks. 
Now instead of keeping things from my friends and those around me I now bring them to my doctors appointments so they can fully understand my unique medical condition. They enjoy meeting my amazing specialists who work endlessly to help me live a higher quality of life and work together to put the flair ups back to sleep. They also enjoy meeting my friends and it helps my friends to understand what I go through on a daily basis. I call it respecting the condition because you must do just that, "Respect the condition." I still need to reschedule my dentist appointment seeing my doctors feel any dental work right now might aggraviate things so its safer to wait. I did make it through my first Drano treatment of the week. It took much longer to work but only as expected since I had to hold treatment off for awhile. I am back to my second treatment come Tuesday next week.
My goal is to get out and enjoy life doing something special for myself as well doing something special with one of my friends a few times a week. Sometimes blood isn't always thicker than water. Although I now realize I only have two family members who are here and support me I pick up the rest times a hundred in friends who I call "My Angels." Amen. 
My Gastroenterologist has a file on me now the size of a encyclopedia. We all laugh and make light of it because sometimes no matter how bad life can gets it still requires laughter. She explained they are going to electronic filing via a computer system by the end of the year. I feel sorry for whoever has to put my files onto computer format. YIKES! My GI doctor only ran a bit behind today but otherwise hes always on time. I only waited around ten minutes before he came back in the room which was good because it was too nice of a day to sit in the doctors office. He hasn't seen my cane yet so its been quite awhile since my last visit. I had to cancel the past four appointments due to being sick. He was aware of my past emergency room visits however he wasn't regarding my concussion. We did go over MS and my other Gastroparesis complications. He told me to make sure I was aware there is no turning back with my unique medical situation. He also asked how I was mentally. I replied by saying, "I always do better knowing. No matter how bad the news its still important for me to know what I am facing that way I can accept things at face value. I don't do well when things are hidden from me." My doctor shook his head in agreeing. 
My GI doctor altered a few medications which leaves me minus two now off my list of eight. I can still use peppermint oil at night on a piece of paper towel near my couchbed since I am not digesting it only inhaling it. He said, "I think you learned that after your last surgery when they used it to help your nausea." I told him I am on my second bottle and so far I feel it helps a bit at night when I am sleeping. The MS symptoms were there for quite awhile but agreed it takes time to put all the pieces together and although things haven't changed nor will change at least there is a name to put on the symptoms. Gastroparesis can sure cause all sorts of complications and other connected problems. I now fully believe once again anything is possible with GP. Expect the unexpected but as he said, "Don't expect it to get better. There is no turning back from here." I must take that information and now keep it to heart. If I want to go out on a good day and do something I will because I can't predict tomorrow. 
This evening I finished putting up the new curtain rod and relaxed with the fur kids. They are the best and I don't know what I would do without all my buddies. 
We waited around ten minutes before my doctor came in the room. He is always nice in apologizing for the wait. I have been seeing him a bit over eight years now and he knows my unique medical case inside and out. Its a huge relief knowing I have complete trust and faith in my amazing team of specialists. He went over all of my current medications then we discussed all of the tests I had done at the hospital. I am still dealing with the post concussion syndrome which can linger for months. Since I already have other existing medical problems it will take me longer to fully recover than someone who doesn't have the same issues. Since I am now having at least 3-4 days of nausea and vomiting a week its quite obvious I am still dealing with the post concussion on top of my Gastroparesis. We also added a new word to the equation called: MS. I have been through various testing for MS through out the past year by my specialists. MS doesn't have a specific test but a range of tests that are done over a period of months to a year based on symptoms. I have been watched by my specialists for over a year now and I have displayed every symptom minus one. Vagus nerve lesions can also be a sign of MS. I guess we all learn something new everyday. All these head issues finally all make sense as well my immune system doing some quite odd things over the past three years. I started having seizure problems almost four years ago and I always thought there was a possibility over the years I might end up with Parkinson's as a complication due to my Idiopathic Gastroparesis. Strange enough I really didn't think of MS as a complication from my Gastroparesis but I wasn't that educated as well on it. Like I said, we all learn something new every day. For now my doctors goal is to get the head issues and flair ups under control. This means taking lots of medication that this gal isn't used to. I went from two to eight. I have a list now to follow while doing my best keeping up with everything. They still need to run blood work time to time seeing where my immune system is and how close I am of putting the flair ups to sleep.
After a very informative appointment I was once again reminded by my doctor that he can't fix me. He can't cure me. No one can. What they can do is their best to help ease symptoms this way the flair-ups can subside hopefully a bit quicker! I told him as long as he can put a temporary bandaid on and allow me a few days of freedom a week I am happy! The post concussion syndrome from the concussion will have to ride itself out. I know my limits as well when its safe to or not to drive. If I run into problems I must pick up the phone and call someone to come get me and my car. So its another part of life I need to work on by altering things a bit but its not like I haven't done it before. Its all in your attitude. Attitude can make or break you.
celebratory
d'oh
I woke up around 10am after going to bed around 4am. I had the worst headache with nausea as soon as I laid down on my couchbed. Once 10am hit the darn sun started coming through the towels hanging over the curtains which fired my head pressure right back up again. By 10:30am I started having tremors in my legs then a seizure came on. Seizures are scary no matter when they strike or how bad the intensity. I do my best not to panic which can only prolong the seizure and make it far worse. Forget trying to pick up a phone and call someone. Hahahaha! NICE TRY but NOT happening! During a seizure that is the last thing you are thinking about and your only concern is holding on for dear life and praying the son of a gun gets over with soon! I also worry if I will wake up and not know where the heck I am at. That has only happened once when my ex lived at the house. It was scary waking up not knowing where you are or who is sitting next to you. Never ask a person questions during a seizure because we can't talk. 
The worst part of today was having two seizures within an hour apart from each other. The second one is always the real kicker because it makes your entire body sore and its hard to move your arms and legs.Your face also goes numb. This time at least someone was over the house when it came on and noticed my body shaking under the couchbed covers. I am very fortunate I came out of that one with no ramifications. Afterwards I was exhausted but too scared to go back to sleep. Thank you Mr. Valium for doing the trick within 15 minutes. WHEW!
Did I just make a funny? "Head Start" on things? Hahahaha!
not sure
It's been one strange day! Is this Friday the 13th or did the UFO's final visit planet earth and invade human life-more like human minds?... I have been beyond stressed out and it sure didn't help my head or GP issues. I also learned today that its not safe nor too smart playing your own doctor and deciding when its OK to drive when you are still recovering from a concussion and having a bad day to start with. DUH! Live and learn. By the time it was 11pm I wasn't sure what happened to the day but I did learn a very valuable lesson about being cautious when putting trust in others. Another live and learn lesson but isn't that what life is all about anyways? Lessons learned?..
Once me and my friend got up around 2:30pm we thought maybe Pumpkin kitty got ahold of some Drano of his own! WOW! What a MESS! It has to be the medication and for now I will be holding off on it for a few days. Mostly for his sake but also my friend said for his too! Hahahaha! Talking about POO-POO Kitty! He left a mess from one end of the house to another. We were both shocked! This new shampooer machine already paid for itself ten fold!
After cleaning up the last of the mess it took us over two hours. Nothing like waking up to that kind of nightmare. It wasn't too smart of an idea for me to keep bending and stooping because once this evening hit the head pressure started getting the best of me then quickly followed by waves of nausea and vomiting. One step ahead and now two steps back. At least I see my specialist Tuesday and after getting an email regarding my three hospital visits I have a few questions about my tests and cat scan. I realize that sometimes our doctors feel things are best left unsaid in fear that maybe the patient has enough on their plate already to deal with however...I do better 'knowing.' Guess I will find out more come next week at the appointment.
Wow! February is less than a week away! Valentine's Day is not too far behind either so that means only one thing: CHOCOLATE! YUMMY! For now I will settle on the beautiful flowers I got this week that make the living room smell like spring. I would rather smell it in flowers than having it early like today's temperatures. Just nuts! One good thing about being stuck at home recovering is I don't have to worry about being out in public catching all the viruses going around. Amen. Littleblue and Oreo are sporting their new Valentine heart bandannas. They are too cute!
chillin'
Today is another house project day and since the monsoon rain has let up for a bit the basement wall needs re-caulked and temporarily patched. It won't be until mid spring the way things are going before the ground is dry enough to repair the walls correctly. For now its like placing another band-aid over and over again. I "tried" to put up a new curtain rod in the spare bedroom today but dang it! I gave up once I realized the rod needs to be moved. This was after I already put up the hooks. GEES! Looks like that project will have to wait until tomorrow.
The furniture re-staining is now officially completed! The last piece was finished today then everything was placed back in order. Its like brand new! The furniture is over 40 years old and made of solid, sturdy wood. Not like they make things now which is super cheap! I think this furniture could last another 40+ years and hopefully can go another five years before having to be re-stained again. I enjoy being productive and it helps keep my mind busy. 
Today in the mail I got some wonderful cards and a very nice Angel ornament gift. I also got some beautiful flowers delivered yesterday. Thank you everyone for all your support and kind words during my recovery process. It truly means a lot and goes to show there are still kindred hearts and amazing people in this world and I am so glad to have all of you as part of my life.
As a dear friend of mine always tells me, "It ain't over till the fat lady sings!" At this point she will be singing for a very, very long time because this gal has a lot of fight and spunk still left in her. That's with or without hair too! Hahahaha! 
amorous
At least I have found a way on my own to finish the rest of the furniture re-staining project. This way I have the entire upstairs bedroom to lock myself in from the rest of the world. It was also nice to escape the confinements of the ole couchbed and television. There was still three pieces of furniture left to stain and polish. I took my time and spent all day completing everything. It felt great to be productive again regardless if I had to take numerous bathroom breaks to get sick. The furniture looks almost brand new again! The wood was pretty dry so the dark stain took quickly. Between the new comforter set and the beautiful newly polished furniture it looks good enough to sleep in the bedroom again!
Sounds like a great idea but the last time I was able to sleep in a bed without getting sick was over four years ago. I must now sleep elevated on a firm surface thus having my ole couchbed.
As I lay here once again on the ole couchbed surrounded by my water, Slimfast and other tasty GP liquid diet yummy drinks (being sarcastic) I question what the heck came over some of these parents on a few of these reality television shows?...
Me and my friend just finished watching the most hilarious show of them all which is bad television at its finest! "Toddlers and Tiaras." Reality isn't really reality anymore. Its more like scripted television where the producers decide once the tape is cut in the editing room just how they will present you to the rest of the viewing world. Nothing quite like watching parents live their dreams out through hair clip ons, false eyelashes, flipper-fake teeth, spray on tans and enough Aqua Net that if someone lit a match we would all blow up! Hahahaha! I remember way back in the day when beauty pageants didn't involve parents standing behind the judges motioning each move their child should make. I tend to think anyone who has a video recorder at these glitz beauty pageants also must hold a top rated U Tube video channel. I get more of a kick watching the parents who act like maybe they need to be in the 2-6 year old group instead of the actual child. Hahahaha!
The best part is when the child doesn't hold up to their parents expectations and walk away with the average $500-$1,000 top prize, although mind you it costs almost the same amount just to enter into these pageants. I think maybe they need to give the parents a Monster energy drink and a dozen of pixie sticks first before announcing the grand supreme prize winners. Surely it would make for the best television of all! Hahahaha! Come on? Making a child lose weight when they are only 8 years old or how about only having children for the sake of putting them into beauty pageants? I think some these parents should had instead invested into Mattel and build a Barbie house and bought a Barbie corvette and then hit the road aka solo. Its sad to imagine the consequences and self esteem issues these children will grow up having from being forced into a distorted pageant world by their parents living their lives through them. Sure isn't what it used to be back in the day but boy! is it extremely fun guilty pleasure watching these parents behave like children!
On a more productive note...My friend started re-staining furniture in the spare bedroom. The furniture was handed down to me and the last time it had a good refinishing was years ago. I did my best to help assist with polishing the parts that were eye level. Anything besides watching television is a blessing! Amen. We also baked some cupcakes. I never was too much into cake or cupcakes. I always preferred the icing. It takes a lot of sugar anymore to keep my levels up. Same goes for staying hydrated increasing my fluids due to low blood pressure associated with my Gastroparesis. At least I can say I am getting better at monitoring both and that's a good thing! 