Mood:
amorousNow Playing: Day 650-The Final Road To Survival
Drano day TAKE 3 and...ACTION! It seems I just can't get on any type of schedule now with my treatments. Today I have been dealing with the overwhelming back of head pressure that comes in waves. Its also making me extremely irritable so I thought it would be a good idea that my friend does his own thing today and I do mine. The vomiting accompanies the waves of pressure then I finally get some relief. A few hours later I am right back at it again. Gees!
At least I have found a way on my own to finish the rest of the furniture re-staining project. This way I have the entire upstairs bedroom to lock myself in from the rest of the world. It was also nice to escape the confinements of the ole couchbed and television. There was still three pieces of furniture left to stain and polish. I took my time and spent all day completing everything. It felt great to be productive again regardless if I had to take numerous bathroom breaks to get sick. The furniture looks almost brand new again! The wood was pretty dry so the dark stain took quickly. Between the new comforter set and the beautiful newly polished furniture it looks good enough to sleep in the bedroom again!
Sounds like a great idea but the last time I was able to sleep in a bed without getting sick was over four years ago. I must now sleep elevated on a firm surface thus having my ole couchbed.
Yes. GP suks!
I had to call for some backup due to all the monsoon rain we are having once again. The temperatures are also back to feeling more like spring which has everyone getting sick with upper head and respiratory infections. My basement wall is leaking again due to all of this darn rain. I can't drive to go buy some caulking to seal the leaks before they got worse so I had to call for some help. Thank goodness for assistance! If you see me near the coastline soon no worries...I might just float down there in my house, hahahaha! Yes. That is how bad the rain is becoming and destroying any grass that any one has left in their yard. Pumpkin kitty had to go back to the veterinarian due to his respiratory infection is still lingering. The rest of the fur kids are 100% better so the veterinarian is just hoping it doesn't rebound and they all pass it around again. UGGGG! Poor Pumpkin. In between sneezing constantly he just lays around and sleeps a lot. At least they were able to give him another injection of antibiotics then we have to give him another round of medication for the next several days. Hopefully this time it will do the trick!
Well off to put the dressers back together again and give them one final polish! Jersey Shore is on tonight so better get my poof and head back to the ole couchbed. CHEERS!
chillin'
As I lay here once again on the ole couchbed surrounded by my water, Slimfast and other tasty GP liquid diet yummy drinks (being sarcastic) I question what the heck came over some of these parents on a few of these reality television shows?...
Me and my friend just finished watching the most hilarious show of them all which is bad television at its finest! "Toddlers and Tiaras." Reality isn't really reality anymore. Its more like scripted television where the producers decide once the tape is cut in the editing room just how they will present you to the rest of the viewing world. Nothing quite like watching parents live their dreams out through hair clip ons, false eyelashes, flipper-fake teeth, spray on tans and enough Aqua Net that if someone lit a match we would all blow up! Hahahaha! I remember way back in the day when beauty pageants didn't involve parents standing behind the judges motioning each move their child should make. I tend to think anyone who has a video recorder at these glitz beauty pageants also must hold a top rated U Tube video channel. I get more of a kick watching the parents who act like maybe they need to be in the 2-6 year old group instead of the actual child. Hahahaha!
The best part is when the child doesn't hold up to their parents expectations and walk away with the average $500-$1,000 top prize, although mind you it costs almost the same amount just to enter into these pageants. I think maybe they need to give the parents a Monster energy drink and a dozen of pixie sticks first before announcing the grand supreme prize winners. Surely it would make for the best television of all! Hahahaha! Come on? Making a child lose weight when they are only 8 years old or how about only having children for the sake of putting them into beauty pageants? I think some these parents should had instead invested into Mattel and build a Barbie house and bought a Barbie corvette and then hit the road aka solo. Its sad to imagine the consequences and self esteem issues these children will grow up having from being forced into a distorted pageant world by their parents living their lives through them. Sure isn't what it used to be back in the day but boy! is it extremely fun guilty pleasure watching these parents behave like children!
On a more productive note...My friend started re-staining furniture in the spare bedroom. The furniture was handed down to me and the last time it had a good refinishing was years ago. I did my best to help assist with polishing the parts that were eye level. Anything besides watching television is a blessing! Amen. We also baked some cupcakes. I never was too much into cake or cupcakes. I always preferred the icing. It takes a lot of sugar anymore to keep my levels up. Same goes for staying hydrated increasing my fluids due to low blood pressure associated with my Gastroparesis. At least I can say I am getting better at monitoring both and that's a good thing! 
lazy
I had my Hell-In-A-Jug ready as well my Hawaiian punch chaser to start the treatment around 3:30pm. After doing a touch more walking and things around the house than compared to yesterday it all went downhill from there. My head started pounding then the horrible pressure began to work from the right side of my head through my ears then down to my neck. Next of course is motion sickness then vomiting. When I attempted to take a shower later this evening I got quite dizzy so it was a quick one then back to my ole couchbed to rest with ice packs. With my blood pressure running low I made a smart decision not to do treatment today because it does cause cardiac side affects. Its not a safe idea right now so unfortunately Drano has to wait.
There are a few house projects that need to be done around the house. So far my friend has been doing most of them. Of course I am limited due to the concussion so its been very frustrating to say the least! Let's just say I am NOT liking all the restrictions I now have in my life but just praying recovery is sooner than eight weeks before I go nuts! Hahahaha! I do have my wheelchair at home so maybe my specialist will allow me to at least go out to the mall or somewhere close to my home by next weekend just to get a change of scenery. I know...It's called patience and I am quickly running out. Some would say I would make a great contestant on the show 'Big Brother!' Me stuck in a house? No problem! I could win it seeing isn't that what I have been doing already most of my Gastroparesis life? Amen.
A friend of mine who doesn't have Gastroparesis but another chronic condition mentioned to me how hard it is dating and finding a companion. They said, "Why don't they have a dating site for those who are disabled? A way to connect with those of the opposite sex who also suffer from a disability?" Hmmmm....I honestly thought that was a very good point and a great idea too! Its hard dating when you get older but add a chronic or terminal condition to the mix? Forget it! Seems you have to hide whats going on internally especially if you can disguise it externally. Marriage isn't what it used to be years ago. I believe when you take those vows and sign that marriage certificate and its says, "Till death do us part" that it be taken seriously and there is no getting out of the marriage. Instead you have to work through your problems and differences. I don't believe in divorce however I find myself in that exact position. I believe if there is a problem by golly it can be fixed. Sadly its when one spouse fails to work together and communicate is when they also fail the marriage. I don't believe in anyone who says it was both parties fault that the marriage ended. That isn't the case because there is always that one person who doesn't want to work on keeping their vows. Do I believe in spousal support? Yes I do unless both parties make equal in salary. If not then the lesser spouse should be granted temporary financial support. I guess I needed to be born in the 30's or 40's when there was rarely such a thing heard of as a divorce. Now marriage comes with a 50% divorce rate so some how, somewhere, something went way wrong.
down
It's now been officially a week since I got my concussion and I am going nuts being stuck at home! I am also going nuts with all this resting on my couchbed. I am shocked that the number pad on my satellite dish remote haven't come off yet from all the channel surfing! Hahahaha! Once I get up to walk around every other hour I am finding myself looking for anything to do. Anything at all even if it is or isn't productive. Just anything besides watching television. I lost track how many times I have walked around the house today saying, " I am BORED!" I tend to think I am also driving my friend nuts and sure bet they were glad to go to work today! Hahahaha! 
Oreo is doing about the same. He still has seizures and I do my best making sure he is safe and comfortable. That is the nice part about being home with a sick fur kid. I can't see me being anywhere else knowing he might have a seizure and no one was there for him. Cuddles kitty is still waiting for someone to come home that officially moved the rest of their belongings out this past weekend. I feel horrible for the fur kids because 13 years is such a long time to be used to the same faces around the house.
Me and my friend have been doing our best to help them readjust to the changes but its still been tough. I remember this same person telling me a few years ago that those who walk away and leave someone who is sick is a weak person. Now I question if they realized when the going got tough they too also got going?.. Sadly they are not the only ones in my life who have done the recent disappearing act. The words: "Abandoned" and "Neglected" seem to fit. Some question how anyone can leave someone who clearly needs help and how their guilt and subconscious don't eat them alive or at night when they sleep?.. I now find myself with all my guards up with little trust and faith in anyone within the area. Rightfully so because I refuse to get hurt again. I have been questioning whether its a good idea to remain in this city due to all the negativity and bad memories that lurk around me. My parents live here and honestly that is pretty much the only thing that keeps me grounded. I do have a handful of very loyal, loving and compassionate friends who always accepted me for me whether I am normal or sick. My friend suggested this afternoon that once I make a full recovery from the concussion that we go out with a few of his friends. It was a great idea but I told him I don't trust anyone around here and don't feel comfortable meeting anyone new. If I moved to a different state I could at least have a fresh start on a clean slate. I could be me without being judged. I would also keep my medical condition hidden behind physician doors or online. 
Sometimes I just wish I was me again without Gastroparesis. For such a poorly understood GI disorder that fails to get the much needed research money from federal grants it can sure leave behind a very destructive path physically and emotionally. Amen. 
February can't get here soon enough so I can say "BYE BYE" to this hellish first month of the year. Once I fully recover I can't wait to just take one night out on the town, even if only for a few hours. AMEN! I tried to talk my way around maybe taking a 'small' car ride if my friend drove however my doctor quickly shot that idea down as well the hospital physicians. Heck, it was worth a try! Need any sewing done? I might be your gal! Need any taxes done? I might be your gal but I can't promise they will be done right and Uncle Sam won't be knocking at your door later this year. Hahahaha! Just blame it on the head gal! Me! 
So what did I do all day? GUESS! Couchbed, TV, walk around, take in fluids then back to my couchbed. Couchbed, TV, walk around, take in fluids then back to my couchbed, etc, etc, etc. You get the point...BOY OH BOY! Am I already BORED AS HECK! I guess like my own doctors and hospital physicians said, "Its going to be rough but you must be patience in order to make a full recovery." 
When you live with Gastroparesis there will always be two things for certain which are:
After being woke up at 10am then again around 12pm from those moving belongs out of the house I had to deal with some unwanted comments which ended rather quickly seeing my head and myself wasn't in the mood. By the time they made the last trip back to my house moving belongs out it was around 2pm. What a mess they left!! I was livid! 
The interesting part was the things they 'did' leave behind. Not like I was shocked but I am sure a few who believed otherwise might had been taken back quite a bit. It was like a huge tornado swept through the house then I just stood back shaking my head in disbelief.
I had made a prior appointment a few weeks ago for Littleblue to be groomed today. My friend volunteered to take her since I can't drive nor go out right now. The new place I take her is right down the street from my house so its very close and the couple who owns it also does an amazing job! They are very good with Littleblue and Oreo. With Oreo still having seizure problems I decided to hold off a bit until later next month before he gets groomed. My friend took a photo of all the hair Littleblue left behind. This was just a touch of the undercoat she is starting to shed. The odd part is this is way too early for her to start shedding her winter coat. With all of the strange weather we are having it even has the fur gangs fur confused. She now officially looks like a huge, soft powder puff! Hahahaha! 
Back to channel surfing and crossing my fingers for no more nightmare dreams that involve angry trees and dragons. YIKES! Hahahaha!
OK. So I finally got a bit of rest. I will take anything I can get however it doesn't mean that I still won't have to deal with these darn head sensations. 
The fur kids are growing just as bored as I am. I lost track of how many times I said I was bored today. Funny enough my friend who always says he just wishes he had a few days to sit around and do nothing has also grown bored. Hahahaha! That makes how many of us now? Four. I better just get used to it and listen to the doctors and keep the not so brilliant ideas to myself. Like over doing it even if around the house. If I stay laying in one position with the head wraps and ice I feel a bit better but once I get up and start moving around the head pressure starts hitting me again. I can't play the Wii system or Atari with my head recovering. I can't take walks outside due to my head recovering. I can't walk on the treadmill due to my head recovery. What I can do and becoming an expect at is channel surfing! There are just way too many infomercials at night. Same with all this filler channels. At least with the living arrangements changing I got a great new package deal from Dish network this week. Now I have all three movie channels over the next three months but try watching them with subtitles and a pounding, pulsating headache. Good luck!
don't ask
My friend said I look like a Zombie wrapped in head dressing and ice packs. There aren't enough ice packs to keep on this head. I have tried the anti inflammatory medication but haven't gotten any relief. Remember I have Gastroparesis and a paralyzed digestive system so any medication in the form of tablets or capsules doesn't work. At least I tried but for now the only bit of relief I seem to get is using over the counter Activon for the back of my neck and shoulders then ice packs for the front and back of my head. I still have bone shifted on the right side of my nose but find a bit of relief using breath right strips to help at night since its hard to breathe. Am I complaining? Oh yes! Like I said, I am beyond irritable. This reminds me of when I had viral Meningitis however my brain wasn't bruised and at least I could sleep. The head sensations are quite different too but I was also the same as now, stuck at home channel surfing for a very long time. Its a catch 22 because with my Idiopathic Gastroparesis gravity is my best friend that works for me, not against me. Laying around too much can eventually backfire so I do have to be careful.
They gave me a shot filled with what they call, "The good stuff!" It was a three in one for the head pressure and crazy sensations I was feeling, severe inflammation and hopefully to get some much needed sleep. After the doctors thoroughly examined me they came back in to go over what the heck was making me feel rapidly worse this evening. They call it "Post Concussion Syndrome." I thought I heard it all but I guess you never really hear it all. Seems since I had two hits at once my brain couldn't handle that kind of impact so my brain is bruised and trying to start the recovery process. He explained it will take months and sometimes can even take up to a year before I make a complete recovery. I tend to think maybe a few months but once I learned since I already suffer neurological problems such as the seizures and vagus nerve issues it will most likely take a bit longer. GO FIGURE! Not the news I wanted to hear and I am so sick of being sick. I was extremely disappointed. The doctor said, "Instead of taking two steps forward you just took two steps back." With your past history of Meningitis and having a current seizure disorder it will take you longer than the average person to fully recover from the concussion." He did understand the reason I drove myself to the hospital was because of the overwhelming head pressure. At the same time he didn't agree with me making such a quick decision and instead I should had called for an ambulance or someone to drive me to the hospital. 
At least the hospital doctors understood the irritability and said it was perfectly normal because its like having a huge bruise. Instead of having it on the outside its on the inside. They said, "Your brain isn't made to be hit with that type of force against your skull." I was warned I might experience other neurological changes and that its to be expected while my brain is in the healing process. I just need to try and not let it freak me out. Same with wanting to cry out of nowhere over nothing. Its also normal. 
This would be a very, very bad day and if I woke up irritable just add ten times that when I learned I still have to do treatment. Of course things had to go through my specialists but was told this afternoon that they don't need any additional problems and take the concussion very seriously. I told them I honestly just want to rest in a nice quiet and dark room. Although I don't need a bowel obstruction going on either they felt it was safe for me to do half of the treatment today then finish the rest tomorrow. GEES! So after a horrible night of rest and waking up feeling worse than yesterday I had to motivate myself enough to get the hellish jug of liquid dynamite together. I figured the sooner I finish treatment the better off I will be!
OK. I did want to laugh but I am in too much pain so instead I just shot him a look. Hahahaha! I am used to keeping busy even during the ole Hell-In-A-Jug treatments so this time around was a bit trying. I also have to cancel and once again reschedule my Gastroenterologist appointment because I am not to be out driving. The hospital doctor said, "If you endure another concussion while healing from the first one it can cause brain swelling and even death." OK. Need not say more. I will stay home and find things to do occupying my time. For now the only thing I am occupying tonight is the bathroom from the darn Drano, my couchbed in between the bathroom trips and the ice packs placed over my face and head. 