Now Playing: Day 647-The Final Road To Survival
Boy! OH Boy! Am I B O R E D!
It's now been officially a week since I got my concussion and I am going nuts being stuck at home! I am also going nuts with all this resting on my couchbed. I am shocked that the number pad on my satellite dish remote haven't come off yet from all the channel surfing! Hahahaha! Once I get up to walk around every other hour I am finding myself looking for anything to do. Anything at all even if it is or isn't productive. Just anything besides watching television. I lost track how many times I have walked around the house today saying, " I am BORED!" I tend to think I am also driving my friend nuts and sure bet they were glad to go to work today! Hahahaha!
Since I lost more weight over the past six months I ended up finding over six pairs of winter jeans and pants as well sweaters to donate to the local Goodwill store. Now that I wear a size 1 or 2 depending on the designer and size XS in tops most of my clothes no longer fit. I can only imagine once I go through my spring and summer clothes but those can wait seeing I am NOT looking forward to the upcoming months. I am still crossing my fingers we get hit with lots of snow in February. WHOAHOA!
Oreo is doing about the same. He still has seizures and I do my best making sure he is safe and comfortable. That is the nice part about being home with a sick fur kid. I can't see me being anywhere else knowing he might have a seizure and no one was there for him. Cuddles kitty is still waiting for someone to come home that officially moved the rest of their belongings out this past weekend. I feel horrible for the fur kids because 13 years is such a long time to be used to the same faces around the house. Me and my friend have been doing our best to help them readjust to the changes but its still been tough. I remember this same person telling me a few years ago that those who walk away and leave someone who is sick is a weak person. Now I question if they realized when the going got tough they too also got going?.. Sadly they are not the only ones in my life who have done the recent disappearing act. The words: "Abandoned" and "Neglected" seem to fit. Some question how anyone can leave someone who clearly needs help and how their guilt and subconscious don't eat them alive or at night when they sleep?.. I now find myself with all my guards up with little trust and faith in anyone within the area. Rightfully so because I refuse to get hurt again. I have been questioning whether its a good idea to remain in this city due to all the negativity and bad memories that lurk around me. My parents live here and honestly that is pretty much the only thing that keeps me grounded. I do have a handful of very loyal, loving and compassionate friends who always accepted me for me whether I am normal or sick. My friend suggested this afternoon that once I make a full recovery from the concussion that we go out with a few of his friends. It was a great idea but I told him I don't trust anyone around here and don't feel comfortable meeting anyone new. If I moved to a different state I could at least have a fresh start on a clean slate. I could be me without being judged. I would also keep my medical condition hidden behind physician doors or online.
Sometimes I just wish I was me again without Gastroparesis. For such a poorly understood GI disorder that fails to get the much needed research money from federal grants it can sure leave behind a very destructive path physically and emotionally. Amen.
Today I had to cancel all of my upcoming doctors and dentist appointments for the remainder of the month and into early February. I do have to see my doctor who is closely monitoring my recovery from the concussion. Luckily his office is just a mile from my home. I will be seeing him late next week to see where I am with the post concussion syndrome. I told him that the depression has been horrific the past three days! I have never been depressed nor a depressed person. I am the type of individual who also doesn't do pity parties but it seems when you suffer from a concussion depression can be part of the symptoms. Depression he said is very common and something we need to also keep a very close eye on because it can continue even after recovery. They can't really put me on anything for depression seeing its not a chemical imbalance problem but part of the brain trauma from the concussion. Same goes for the vomiting, nausea, irritability, memory problems, brain fog and feeling all over the place. 8 weeks seems to be reasonable since I already had prior neuro problems due to my seizures.
February can't get here soon enough so I can say "BYE BYE" to this hellish first month of the year. Once I fully recover I can't wait to just take one night out on the town, even if only for a few hours. AMEN! I tried to talk my way around maybe taking a 'small' car ride if my friend drove however my doctor quickly shot that idea down as well the hospital physicians. Heck, it was worth a try! Need any sewing done? I might be your gal! Need any taxes done? I might be your gal but I can't promise they will be done right and Uncle Sam won't be knocking at your door later this year. Hahahaha! Just blame it on the head gal! Me!
Well back to channel surfing and speaking of water...Its Hell-In-A-Jug day tomorrow. WHOAHOA! I tell ya! The things this gal has to look forward to now huh?! CHEERS!