Mood:
don't askNow Playing: Day 642-The Final Road To Survival
I feel like a Zombie!
This BITES! Trust me. I enjoy being active as one can be living with Gastroparesis, even on days I am stuck in my house-jail after treatments but when that freedom is instantly taken away IT'S HORRIBLE!
I can't wait for January to be over with! 2012 seems like its been here forever and we are just starting the new year. Maybe its this jinxed city?..All I can say is this has already gotten really, really old and quick!
So much for a good nights sleep. I was awake every hour on the hour. I can't explain to you how my head felt but its a cross between feeling sandpaper, hot coals, tingling, dull and sharp pain. It starts on the right side of my face and goes around to my ear drum and back of my head. My doctors as well Urgent Care and the hospital have followed up and monitoring things very closely but today I just haven't felt too good. I actually feel worse than I did the first day. They said things will get worse before they get better but they didn't mention I won't be getting any sleep either. GRRRR....I am so irritable with the head pressure and all sorts of strange feelings that I can't stand being around myself right now. Hahahaha! I have warned those who are bold enough to come around me that right now its best I am left alone. Sound hurts and light hurts. Luckily this afternoon we finally figured out how to set the closed caption on the new television and dim the lighting down. W A Y down...
My friend said I look like a Zombie wrapped in head dressing and ice packs. There aren't enough ice packs to keep on this head. I have tried the anti inflammatory medication but haven't gotten any relief. Remember I have Gastroparesis and a paralyzed digestive system so any medication in the form of tablets or capsules doesn't work. At least I tried but for now the only bit of relief I seem to get is using over the counter Activon for the back of my neck and shoulders then ice packs for the front and back of my head. I still have bone shifted on the right side of my nose but find a bit of relief using breath right strips to help at night since its hard to breathe. Am I complaining? Oh yes! Like I said, I am beyond irritable. This reminds me of when I had viral Meningitis however my brain wasn't bruised and at least I could sleep. The head sensations are quite different too but I was also the same as now, stuck at home channel surfing for a very long time. Its a catch 22 because with my Idiopathic Gastroparesis gravity is my best friend that works for me, not against me. Laying around too much can eventually backfire so I do have to be careful.
Around 9pm this evening the head pressure took on a completely different level. I couldn't even lay my head on propped up pillows. The ice packs also weren't giving me any relief. I couldn't hear out of my right ear and the pressure was quickly shifting to both sides of my head. I had that gut feeling that something wasn't quite right and it wasn't going to get any better so I made a very, very critical decision to head back up to the hospital. It was the fastest drive of my life because I was in some serious pain! I also made a very quick and dumb decision driving up by myself. YES! THAT WAS DUMB! I could had not only killed others on the road but also myself. I just had a concussion but I feared the ride in an ambulance would be far worse so in ten minutes flat I arrived at the hospital and was taken back to trauma room #1. A medical staff of five quickly awaited me once I made it through the door. They take head traumas very seriously and so do my doctors who are concerned since I already have a seizure disorder. The emergency room staff was very fast and extremely knowledgeable. What they realized very quickly was the blunt force between hitting the wood table and the force of a 50 pound dogs skull caused the entire right side of my brain to bruise so the medication I was taking wasn't enough. I was still getting lots of new inflammation. The way I also hit a moving and standing object affected my ear drum so I am now getting inflammation in between my ears. This caused me to temporarily lose my hearing in my right ear but in time once my brain heals it will come back. Funny enough I lost my hearing in the same ear for months when I was recovering from Meningitis.
They gave me a shot filled with what they call, "The good stuff!" It was a three in one for the head pressure and crazy sensations I was feeling, severe inflammation and hopefully to get some much needed sleep. After the doctors thoroughly examined me they came back in to go over what the heck was making me feel rapidly worse this evening. They call it "Post Concussion Syndrome." I thought I heard it all but I guess you never really hear it all. Seems since I had two hits at once my brain couldn't handle that kind of impact so my brain is bruised and trying to start the recovery process. He explained it will take months and sometimes can even take up to a year before I make a complete recovery. I tend to think maybe a few months but once I learned since I already suffer neurological problems such as the seizures and vagus nerve issues it will most likely take a bit longer. GO FIGURE! Not the news I wanted to hear and I am so sick of being sick. I was extremely disappointed. The doctor said, "Instead of taking two steps forward you just took two steps back." With your past history of Meningitis and having a current seizure disorder it will take you longer than the average person to fully recover from the concussion." He did understand the reason I drove myself to the hospital was because of the overwhelming head pressure. At the same time he didn't agree with me making such a quick decision and instead I should had called for an ambulance or someone to drive me to the hospital.
Live and learn.
So after getting some medication and the doctor writing up a new prescription which hopefully will allow for some sleep and less crazy head sensations they went over Post Concussion Syndrome and what to expect as my brain recovers from the trauma. If I didn't like being stuck on my couchbed before I sure won't be liking it now! They do understand my Gastroparesis and did agree its important to still get up every so often and move around. They also understand the importance of doing my treatments. Honestly I was only able to do half yesterday because I just wasn't feeling well but half to them was better than nothing at all. My own doctors also agree but I do need to finish the rest of the treatment within this weekend. I just have to do the best I can for the time being.
At least the hospital doctors understood the irritability and said it was perfectly normal because its like having a huge bruise. Instead of having it on the outside its on the inside. They said, "Your brain isn't made to be hit with that type of force against your skull." I was warned I might experience other neurological changes and that its to be expected while my brain is in the healing process. I just need to try and not let it freak me out. Same with wanting to cry out of nowhere over nothing. Its also normal.
I left with me and my car being drove back to the house. I was beat! I just wanted to get back home with the fur kids and hope to goodness the medication will allow my brain for some sleep. Its nice to be educated on what I am going through as well the long term process of healing. Any errands that need to be done outside the house will have to be done now by others because the risk of me right now blacking out or falling are far too great. I sure don't need to play the medical lottery this time and get two concussions in a row.
Watch out couchbed! Here I come!..
down
This would be a very, very bad day and if I woke up irritable just add ten times that when I learned I still have to do treatment. Of course things had to go through my specialists but was told this afternoon that they don't need any additional problems and take the concussion very seriously. I told them I honestly just want to rest in a nice quiet and dark room. Although I don't need a bowel obstruction going on either they felt it was safe for me to do half of the treatment today then finish the rest tomorrow. GEES! So after a horrible night of rest and waking up feeling worse than yesterday I had to motivate myself enough to get the hellish jug of liquid dynamite together. I figured the sooner I finish treatment the better off I will be!
OK. I did want to laugh but I am in too much pain so instead I just shot him a look. Hahahaha! I am used to keeping busy even during the ole Hell-In-A-Jug treatments so this time around was a bit trying. I also have to cancel and once again reschedule my Gastroenterologist appointment because I am not to be out driving. The hospital doctor said, "If you endure another concussion while healing from the first one it can cause brain swelling and even death." OK. Need not say more. I will stay home and find things to do occupying my time. For now the only thing I am occupying tonight is the bathroom from the darn Drano, my couchbed in between the bathroom trips and the ice packs placed over my face and head. 
Instead it was time to do my Drano aka Hell-In-A-Jug treatment. I got up and started putting away my couchbed blankets and pillows. Everything 'seemed' A-OK until I felt myself getting dizzy then the last thing I remembered was losing my balance hitting the right side of my face and head on a wooden side table then seeing white. It felt like I broke my teeth then I heard a glass shattering noise in my head. What I realize now after almost blacking out was my blood pressure and blood sugar were low and with the table being within my reach I held onto something that wasn't stable. At the same time poor Oreo was jumping mid air onto the couch next to the table. I made a collision between a hard 50 pound fur pup's skull and a wooden table. I saw stars and went down. Within I felt was a few seconds I looked around the room and felt blood coming out of my nose. I reached back for the couch as Oreo sat next to me. I remember hearing my friend in the kitchen but I was still dazed and confused so it took me five minutes to just say their name. Once they came into the living room my friend panicked asking what the heck happened then ran to get some tissues for my nose. It was a funny story 'I thought' at the time but I was the only one laughing. 
Later on as the day progressed I felt burning in my face and head. I also couldn't keep my balance. I couldn't breathe out of the right side of my nose either. The headache was horrible but dumb me kept moving around pretending like everything was OK. I did fine until around 6pm. Almost four hours after the fall my friend thought it was a good idea I get checked out. I refused to go to the hospital seeing I am so tired of emergency rooms and even with insurance its just too darn expensive. I agreed to be seen by the Urgent Care center down the street by my house. My friend was concerned because the right side of my face was becoming more swollen. I was also getting very tired which is unusual for me seeing it was only 6:30pm. Once we arrived at Urgent Care there were only two people ahead of us so we got back into a room within 15 minutes. The doctor was very concerned although he didn't want to push on my nose, face or head. He had me do some tests on my balance as well questions to see neurologically where I was at since hitting the table and Oreo's skull. Instead of just finding out if I had a broken nose I was told I needed to go to the nearest emergency room because he said, "There is something clearly going on neurologically with your brain." 
After a few hours the doctor came back in to go over the treatment plan. She made sure that I understood things will get worse before they start getting better and not to be alarmed if I continue feeling dizzy, off balance and over all just not feeling well. Its normal she said to be very tired and its ok to sleep because it will help my brain to recover. The doctor explained that the first 24 hours are the most serious and when complications can occur so she went over with my friend the symptoms and signs to look for and when to head back to the hospital. They wanted to start a good pain management treatment however my Idiopathic Gastroparesis doesn't leave much room for medication that can cause further GI problems so instead the doctor ordered anti inflammatory drugs. Before being released they made sure my blood pressure and blood sugar levels were in a safer range than we could head home.
I hope this month isn't a warning of a bad year to come. Amen.
celebratory
I'm feeling a bit Jersitaly this week! 
What I ended up doing instead is going back and forth with the seller on how to return the defective product. I even suggested they contact the company where it was purchased from seeing that is information that any company would want to know. If there is one surely at least a few other defects are also roaming around the great USA. I even tried the discs on three different video players but they came up blank and wouldn't even read. After four days I am still waiting on information to send back the return to the seller but so far no luck. I might just end up eating this purchase. Go figure! Although sellers just like Ebay have buyer feedback I am hoping to hear back from the seller on my return by early next week so I can buy a replacement. Maybe I need to just contact the 'Mob Wives' so I get this quickly resolved instead of Amazon. Hahahahaha! OK. That was FUNNY! 
First it was Jingles puppy who I found out was born one sick little guy so I made sure he got the care he needed in order to get better. Next Oreo and then Littleblue ended up catching the same viruses from Jingles puppy so they had to be checked by my veterinarian and then placed on medication. Now it seems the poor kittygang all caught the exact same respiratory/head virus. GEES! It started first with Precious kitty then it went to Pumpkin and now Cuddles. Bear kitty seems so far to only have the head part with his eyes watering so I have to clean them with warm water twice a day. I figured it might be a very good idea to have one of them checked out by my veterinarian because the virus can be passed around the fur kids over and over again.
Pumpkin is the easiest and most laid back when it comes to car rides and doctor visits. He doesn't enjoy them but tolerates them! Hahahaha! Sure, he talks to you while your driving until you reach the clinic door. Once the veterinarian places a hand near him he turns into a SCARY Halloween kitty! YIKES! He was actually pretty good today but did give a few warning meows and hisses to the veterinarian. Seems the same viruses are still lurking around the house. Now the kittygang are passing things around so instead of bringing them all up my veterinarian are treating them all at once with two rounds of medication. No need she said to have them checked because the virus is airborne. Its inevitable and they will all sooner or later catch it. So after we drove back home and dropped Pumpkin off we headed to Walmart to get their prescriptions filled. At the same time Walgreen's called to give a heads up that my insurance and the company who makes my Drano treatments are flagging their concerns with me drinking the jug on a weekly basis due to unforeseen side effects as well long term. I can't tell you how many times this has happened and my GI doctor has sent them numerous letters and reports on the necessity of the medication but once again we have problems. Now instead of my medication being a $20.00 copay it is now $100.00!
amorous
What a week! What a day, but another productive one at that! Unfortunately all good things must come to an end as I am closing in on another Drano treatment weekend. UGGG!
My daughter Brittney is 12 years old and suffers from Gastroparesis. Brittney has been through a great deal in the past 15 months. She has suffered greatly with this illness. At first, we thought she was making it up or was just a worrier suffering from anxiety. But after losing 17lbs and not being able to eat anything at all, we started to get very concerned. She was looking very ill and seemed to be getting depressed. Then when she completely stopped gaining weight, she also stopped growing. She was suffering daily with nausea, abdominal pain, vomiting and insomnia. She was eating very few foods because there are so many foods that upset her system.
Nothing quite like the magical feeling waking up to see SNOW! B E A U T I F U L SNOW! GLORIOUS SNOW! Wonderful S N O W! I just knew it was going to be an amazing day!
This evening I had a not so wonderful migraine come on with the darn tremors and vertigo. With the weather doing such a rapid change I am sure its not helping as my immune system struggles to adapt. Luckily I still have my horse blinder glasses so I put them on and grabbed my ice pack then took a short one hour nap. I try my best not to take medication unless I am screaming mercy! So far so good and I will just have to take things one step at a time. I have yet to find any permanent relief for my intestinal ulcers. Seems the darn Drano just makes the burning ten times worse so for now I am breaking up my treatments through out the week to see if that might help a bit. If not I won't have a choice but to chug the jug straight up! YIKES! I see my Gastroenterologist next week so not too far away. I am also due to have my dentist check my teeth seeing between Idiopathic Gastroparesis and the darn Hell-In-A-Jug treatments I am lucky to still have teeth. Same with the hair today, gone tomorrow but such as life and I will be just fine. Although somewhere later on down the road I might just have to gum my way through Slimfast. Hahahaha!
With all the non-stop stress I am happy to say sorry folks who like to bring me down but guess what? I'm still ALIVE! WHOAHOA! 
It's called the act of "Self Defense."
I like to call my little friends M O P. I won't tell you what the initials stand for, I rather you guess but certain you can figure it out. When you are sick and in no position to be lunged at nor threatened with violence you have to get some type of support and back up. Have a game plan. Sure wish I had both prior to last weekends ridiculous act of someone being way out of control and NUTS! Being told by the law and the court system that regardless the scenario and you are sick as well injured you need to do what you need to do to protect yourself. Period. I couldn't agree with them more and honestly I have had just about enough, no wait! I HAVE HAD ENOUGH of walking on egg shells. No one should have to live a life of fear due to some nut job extended family member nor an addict who mind you will never be clean or sober. They just lead everyone to believe they are for the sake of once again manipulating. Those who fall for the stories are just as if not more foolish looking than the addict.
Now I have my own personal stash of M O P S because one can never be too prepared to protect themselves. Amen. Miss pink M O P stays by my side indoors while her cousin blue M O P stays in another location and their cousin dark blue M O P in a special secret hiding spot. A dear friend of mine was very, very proud of me today for taking action and finally saying NO to being a door mat for violent and aggressive behavior. They have recently taught their own son about sticking up for themselves after being picked on by a bully at school. He said, "You can just never be too certain with people in this world. There are a lot of nuts out there and you always have the right to protect yourself when you are being threatened. This also goes for children because as parents we can't always be there for them." As a very concerned Father he has no problems confronting the school nor the bully's parents but at the same time let's just say his son finally stuck up for himself and justice was served!
So for now I told the judge's office I will hold onto the paperwork but at the same time I will do what needs to be done in the name of self defense. They agreed as well the local and county Sheriff's department. 'If' and that's a huge 'if' this happens again the individual or individuals will be arrested on the spot. It will be the last and final incident report that will be taken. Guess we all run out of the 'Get Out Of Jail Free' passes sooner or later. Back fractures or not I refuse to ever again live in fear. 
chillin'
This Oprah couch session went wayyyyyy past the one hour time limit...Heck! Where were the commercials? Time to give Oreo his medication and call it a night. OOPS! I mean a morning. There are other chess pieces just waiting to be moved this week and remember time waits for no one. Amen.
d'oh
There wasn't much sleep for this gal last night seeing poor Oreo still isn't feel well with seizures. He had one at 10:30am that woke me up then he was disoriented stumbling to stand up so once he come to I had him sleep next to me on the couch bed. This way I could keep a close eye on him. The seizures are very scary for him as well what follows which is extreme disorientation. His blood work is still out pending and until that comes back its touch and go. Jingles isn't helping matters but he can't help it since hes still a puppy. Littleblue is still nursing her hedgehogs playing Mom to the gang. So much for a two week ordeal. We are now going on three weeks.
The veterinarian was very concerned with the other fur kids at home seeing they can rebound the same infection and virus then pass it around again. YIKES! With Oreo also being 13 years old the stress of the puppy isn't helping his seizures because over the past three days they have gotten worse. Oreo is having different type of seizures so it makes it twice as hard for the veterinarians to get things under control. "IF they can get them under control." When the blood work comes back then they will have a better understanding of Oreo's medical condition. 
This all makes me wonder the other night when that nut was over the house outside in a psychotic rage while Oreo was also outside if that made his medical situation worse...Seems to me if stress makes my GP worse and others who have chronic or terminal medical conditions it can certainly do the same to fur kids. It really makes me infuriated! My back is still not 100% and I had to cancel my GI appointment for Thursday since things had to be all rearranged this week and I still have to fit in the second half of my treatment. GEES! My Gastroenterologist is very understanding and worked me into next week, same day and same time. Tomorrow I have a court appointment to put a quick stop to that nut trying to assault me for no reason then I will be taking a further step in another direction right after that so I won't be tolerating something like that from ever happening again.
