Mood:
d'ohNow Playing: Day 633-The Final Road To Survival
Wow! Is this week going to be all over the place! I have been changing this and rearranging that into the early evening hours. Just when I 'thought' I had a game plan today it once again got shot down.
There wasn't much sleep for this gal last night seeing poor Oreo still isn't feel well with seizures. He had one at 10:30am that woke me up then he was disoriented stumbling to stand up so once he come to I had him sleep next to me on the couch bed. This way I could keep a close eye on him. The seizures are very scary for him as well what follows which is extreme disorientation. His blood work is still out pending and until that comes back its touch and go. Jingles isn't helping matters but he can't help it since hes still a puppy. Littleblue is still nursing her hedgehogs playing Mom to the gang. So much for a two week ordeal. We are now going on three weeks.
Once I got up and started moving around doing the normal house chore routine I went to let Jingles outside. He seems to be getting sick again and coughing up thick yellow mucus with constant coughing. Of course this is a sign of a secondary or rebound infection. I already had plans to file some paperwork down at the county court but instead I had to change plans and call the animal care center near my house to have Jingles checked out. This is the third round of antibiotics so something must be going on but my gut was saying more like maybe the current medication isn't strong enough. My friend has plans to take his son to dinner after school so thankfully it was early enough in the afternoon to have Jingles checked out. Its hard to balance everything going on at the house but when there's a will there is a way and I always seem to find it!
I would rather have someone home at all times with Oreo seeing he isn't doing good with the seizures. He has two more days on his antibiotics so I felt it might be best to call his veterinarian to let her know about his seizure and tremors this morning. He is also very anxious and scared. Before we left to take Jingles down the vet he snapped at me and growled then went after Jingles. One must remember when you have seizures just like animals they go through stages. Before, during and after the seizure. It isn't Oreo's fault because he doesn't really understand what he is doing but I don't think having Jingles around right now is such a great idea but I will let both veterinarians work together and give the final say in a game plan.
My friend has the day off so thankfully he was able to go with me. We are slowly talking again after his brain funk not protecting me against my ex's crazy sibling. I don't forgive or forget that easily and I do have my guards up but its only natural. I think anyone would and once he proves to me I can trust him again I remain an Army of one. The veterinarian was fully aware of Jingles being sick so they had us bring him up around 4pm. We were placed right away in a room and they did a physical exam and went over all of Jingles shots and medication. They looked into prior medication he was taking and I found out this was one very, very sick little guy since he was eight weeks old. Maybe sooner. I guess you can say I earned my 'Fur Kid Wings' with Jingles. Heeheeheehee! Once the veterinarian listened to his lungs Jingles started coughing horribly again. The poor guy is still sick and the medication he was placed on two days ago just isn't strong enough. They placed Jingles on a new stronger antibiotic same as what Littleblue and Oreo were put to prevent any secondary infections. They also prescribed Jingles a cough suppressant that has a sedative this way he rests. Being such a energetic puppy he isn't getting enough rest so hes not giving his immune system a break. He can go and go and go and go! I don't remember any of the fur kids having this much energy. WOW!
The veterinarian was very concerned with the other fur kids at home seeing they can rebound the same infection and virus then pass it around again. YIKES! With Oreo also being 13 years old the stress of the puppy isn't helping his seizures because over the past three days they have gotten worse. Oreo is having different type of seizures so it makes it twice as hard for the veterinarians to get things under control. "IF they can get them under control." When the blood work comes back then they will have a better understanding of Oreo's medical condition.
Once we got home my friend put Jingles in the backyard and I went inside to check on Oreo. He isn't acting like himself and started having the tremors within ten minutes of being in the house. He is scared to be alone and will follow you everywhere. I was to go to dinner with my friend and his son but felt it was important for someone to be home for Oreo. It was a very smart decision because Oreo later on walked into the dining room chairs, tried to hide in my closet and under the kitchen drawer. Nothing like Oreo would ever, ever do and when he went outside it seemed as if he wasn't sure where he was at. I did call his veterinarian again seeing I didn't have my cell phone on when they called earlier. Around 9:00pm after I finished up disinfecting the entire house and cleaning up a bit Oreo's veterinarian called. They decided to stat his blood work due to the more frequent seizures and changes. The veterinarian explained the blood work showed no organ failure or organ infections so they are certainly leaning towards a lesion or brain tumor. They do offer cat scans but the downside is regardless of either they can not do surgery or cure the problem which is causing Oreo to be very, very sick. The veterinarian was extremely informative and went over everything to be expected. We also discussed Oreo's behavior and what I should be looking out for during his seizures this way I know when its important to take him there asap! They called in some compassionate care medication so Oreo can sleep and if he is having pain he can be more comfortable. Poor Oreo does nothing but pace the floors and follow us around everywhere. He is very affectionate but as told because he is scared and sick due to the seizures and neurological trauma. My CrystalblueAngel had seizures before she went to Heaven and it was extremely hard watching her suffer. I sure wish our fur kids could talk but for now I need to keep him comfortable in a calm, quiet and 'safe' environment.
This all makes me wonder the other night when that nut was over the house outside in a psychotic rage while Oreo was also outside if that made his medical situation worse...Seems to me if stress makes my GP worse and others who have chronic or terminal medical conditions it can certainly do the same to fur kids. It really makes me infuriated! My back is still not 100% and I had to cancel my GI appointment for Thursday since things had to be all rearranged this week and I still have to fit in the second half of my treatment. GEES! My Gastroenterologist is very understanding and worked me into next week, same day and same time. Tomorrow I have a court appointment to put a quick stop to that nut trying to assault me for no reason then I will be taking a further step in another direction right after that so I won't be tolerating something like that from ever happening again.
Sometimes I think I should had been born into the Mob life. At least when there is problems it doesn't take them forever to resolved them and they don't need the law to do it. They also have each others back no matter what. The law is for the guilty not the innocent that's why the guilty have a better life in jail or prison than people who are homeless. Truth. If I was a member of a Mob family I seriously doubt I would have any problems with being a human punching bag nor the stress that has come into this new so far 'hellish year 2012.' Maybe that's why I like the show 'The Mob Wives.' They have a problem it gets resolved then and there. People are up front and if they have an issue they deal with it head on. For now I like 'Facebook' because if you ever want to know the TRUTH and real FACTS on someone just look them up! No one LIES on a Facebook wall and if and when they do I am always the first to know because society doesn't like liars or drama folks. People are as real as real can get when it comes to their personal life on Facebook. Maybe later this week I need to air out some truth on my blog. I will call it my own little Facebook since there seems to be some far out confusion from some folks in this stressful city regarding my condition. If you can't educate yourself and support someone who is sick then how can you preach truth on something you have absolutely no clue about. Amen. 
Well that's for another day...Another blog...For now I have my fur kids, my health and my life to protect so I have no time for clueless people nor drama. My GP plate is already full enough.
don't ask
My friend apologized to me today in regards to not sticking up for me while having someone attempt to assault me. Honestly he said, "I don't know what I was thinking but I sure the heck wasn't thinking." It got to him all night and around 5am he confronted my ex about the entire incident that happened all because his puppy 'accidentally' got out of the house when he was walking Littleblue. Remember anyone who comes off drugs is bound to snap for no reason same goes for the sibling and whatever they were taking or under the influence of. Detoxing should be done under a controlled environment and never on your own cold turkey. Its a step down process. Not all at once. Lord only knows but it was CRAZY! My friend asked for my ex to apologize for coming after me and screaming when it wasn't my fault that his puppy 'accidentally' got out but I would never and don't hold my breath. 
On top of the chain of events this is Drano treatment day and I still have a swollen back. Its important for me to walk around still due to my Idiopathic Gastroparesis but it doesn't come without the heavy price of constant pain. I have been through worse and I will just have to continue sucking up and dealing with it. I didn't sleep hardly at all last night into the morning and early afternoon. I got a few hours here and there in between the constant text messages and calls from very concerned out of state friends. At least they did talk me into some rational sense and helped me decide the next of many moves which will allow some peace back into my life. Its true! Unless you have lived it yourself or walked in someones shoes you will never know first hand what its like. They all know because they either have been through the same things or live it now. Consider it being a back bone for each other. 
Love you all!
irritated
So much for this being the start of a stress-free weekend. I should had just caned or wheel-chaired my way out of the house tonight but instead some how I made my back much worse last night. It could had been from moving a box or just bending the wrong way. Regardless I figured late last night it would just 'go away' if I just took it easy and used some ice. Instead I didn't sleep well and couldn't get comfortable. The pressure pain was horrible trying to sit up and when I went to move it only got worse. When I looked in the mirror my entire lower back was swollen. I think I bit my own tongue by not listening to my specialists and taking it easy. I had planned to go out this evening but instead got stuck once again inside my house-jail. At least the animal gang are enjoying having me home. So much for getting out once a week and with treatment tomorrow it doesn't look like I will be getting out to escape anytime soon. If I do it will only be to my local police department or county courthouse.
Let's be honest by saying anyone who has a drug or alcohol addiction problem you won't be winning any arguments nor reasoning. While I am hearing it from him I am hearing it from his sibling and things were getting NUTS! From minding my own business to once again being a punching bag I had to literally try to shut and lock the door on his sibling who was trying to grab and punch me all at the same time. YES! All this unnecessary stress and madness was going on while my friend of all people was just standing there. Call me crazy but I am not sure what he was thinking! He should had protected me by escorted the sibling off the property so they didn't cause me any further stress nor physical harm but...he didn't. My ex didn't help matters either by continuing to say they can come over and visit when they want. This was also going on while the sibling was still calling me every name under the sun while still reaching for the door and me. I am not sure what they were loaded or tanked on but I was just waiting for them to put their fists through the glass storm door. I wish they would had then maybe when they woke up the next day they would had realized how crazy they looked! I don't even talk to my ex's siblings nor family. I haven't in years so I am not sure why this sibling felt it was 'OK' to come after me like that. Its called aggravated menacing. 
chatty
The new water is called MetroElectro and after I checked the ingredients it has the same as SmartWater but the difference is the added nutrients such as zinc. I decided to buy four large bottles and give it a try. So far so good! I don't taste much of a difference with MetroElectro water compared with SmartWater but any added benefits I can get all the better! I plan on sticking with this water over the next four weeks pending if I do ok and it doesn't make me nauseated or cause any further GI problems. With Gastroparesis if something doesn't agree your body it will definitely let you know!
I had an appointment with Miss Clairol this afternoon. Although my hair is literally coming out in chunks I still have to deal with darn gray hairs! This of course will be temporary. Something I won't miss when I lose the rest of my hair is coloring it. Same goes with trying a zillion hair care products that all say one thing but I don't see a darn thing but a waste of money. I have used all the Biotin products out there on the market but nada-zip! Same goes with nutritional supplements. They never worked for me either. If all this waste of money really worked wouldn't I have a full head of hair again? EXACTLY! Instead I should had spent all that money on wigs that guarantee me hair on my head. Hahahahaha!
Jingles puppy has been off his antibiotics the past few days but this evening I could hear chest congestion starting up again. Looks like he will be going back to the vet this weekend for a second round of medication. Poor little guy! No wonder he wasn't been as energetic today. He even took a seat next to me before I laid down with the heating pad. I love puppies! They are just the cutest! Jingles is starting to develop a personality too and a darn fiesty one! Hahahaha! I tend to think he will be a very BIG BOY in a year. His feet are huge on top of having some very long legs. Littleblue and Oreo at least got to take a few walks to the park across the street today. This weather makes no sense! The temperature was around 65 degrees today and my spring flowers are starting to come up again! YIKES! If we don't start having more winter like weather I can only imagine how horrific allergies will be this coming spring and summer. Forget me stepping out of the house! I'm praying for SNOW! SNOW! and more SNOW!
My friend got his 'school photos' back. Hahahaha! OK. More like work photos. He tried to hide them from me seeing he doesn't like any of them so I had to choose a few for him. Since I already had a photo editor program same that magazines use I can tweak with backgrounds, etc. I decided to send him some chuckles while he was at work this evening and boy! were the photos FUNNY! I will have to post a few this weekend. We both laughed, laughed and laughed! So did his coworkers! Out of ten poses I liked two the best although he still insists he doesn't like either. That's men for ya! Hahaha!
surprised
I made sure to set my cell phone alarm last night for my doctor-therapist appointment today. Of course I was awake way before my alarm went off since Littleblue is still in her Mommy mode collecting stuffed animal hedgehog puppies all hours of the day and night. I expect this to only last maybe one more week. Its cute but at the same time I think I am just as exhausted as she is! Hahahaha! Oreo is doing a bit better although hes still very slow when moving around. I keep a close eye on him and Littleblue as well Jingles puppy. Oreo and Littleblue have another week of antibiotics then need to get rechecked. Jingles is finally finished with all his medication so he will be rechecked this week since he was the one who brought all the nasty germs and viruses home. He is a handful! It seems so long ago when Littleblue was 'little.' Jingles will give you a run for your money and then some! Hes hilarious when he goes into the run mode going round and round the couch, at least three to four laps then DONE! Oreo gets exhausted just from watching him! Hahahaha!
I am running out of hair!" I don't see any new hair regrowth either. My doctors have run every test under the sun but no luck! It just comes back to the same thing-Idiopathic Gastroparesis complications-poor absorption. The last few weeks I have come to the understanding that I just need to embrace wigs. Have fun with them! Not consider them as a horrible reminder of my condition. Its not like back in the day when wigs were rare and not many people wore them. Now you will find lots of celebrities wearing a variety of wigs. My first time out in public with one on was New Years eve. I sported a long blond two tone look. I took some of my Christmas money and bought another one today which is almost the same color of my natural hair now but with dark red high lights and side bangs. Next venture out I plan on wearing my latest wig. It might take a bit but no need to cry over something I can't change and hair I won't be getting back.
energetic
I see my amazing therapist tomorrow armed with a team of support also accompanied by support. No. This fire won't be put out anytime soon. I go to bed with one eye open and wake up the same way. I am VERY alert to my surroundings and rightfully so. Even with all this crap going on I still have to do my treatments-no pun intended and just finished one up last night. Life doesn't stop for no one and neither does the ole Drano aka Hell-In-A-Jug either. Maybe now that I have learned to respect myself again others will learn to respect me back and not use me as a pushover or rug to walk on. If you want to push just expect to be pushed back. I take my health very seriously and won't be allowing anyone to take precious time off my hands anymore. Amen.
sharp
OH HECK NO! I REFUSE to start this new year off on the wrong foot. I am lacing up my boxing gloves ready to fight off any evil that walks into my life or is already in it. This is the year for change. I am not asking. I am DEMANDING it! 
I am a Gastroparesis patient who deserves nothing but full support from everyone around me and that also includes protecting me from any bullying or unwanted stress. I can only hope this blog serves to show those who are going through the exact same thing I am as well a friend of mine that you don't deserve to be treated this way. You are better than that and sometimes you just have to know when to place both feet firmly down on the ground. People can only be pushed so far until one day they push back. I don't stand for domestic violence in any way, shape or form. Sadly I know someone else who also needs to place both feet firmly down and get their self respect back. You can't change people or tell them what to do but I want to be a POSITIVE EXAMPLE and ROLE MODEL not a pushover. If you can relate to any part of this blog I pray you too find the support and help you need to start making changes for YOU. Trust me by saying life is far too short. Make them now. Make them today. Not later.
The fur kids are still on antibiotics and although not 100% better they are at least eating a bit of canned food. I have to fill a bowl up with milk or water and bring it to them hoping they will at least drink a bit. Oreo still isn't drinking that much which has me a bit worried. If it continues by tomorrow evening I will have to take him back to the vet Wednesday. If anything at least the can food has water in it to help keep them hydrated. Jingles puppy is slowly getting back to himself. He is full of tons of energy running back and forth room to room. He still likes to eat laying down which I assume might just be called 'lazy' instead of being sick. Hahaha! 
I have never played the 'SICK CARD' and I am tired of hearing my illness as an excuse for someone who has addiction problems. I am tired of hearing I, they, we, she, he can't help them when there are plenty of options out there to choose from. Its sad when everyone stands back and watches someone slowly decline and refuse to help the person. I did all I can at the same time being called every name in the book and put through more stress than one should ever have to go through in a lifetime. I have to use the 'SICK CARD' with this because guess what? I am sick. I have Gastroparesis but also dealing with inappropriate and unacceptable behavior.
If this is what I have to look forward to in 2012 then I might as well pack it up and head to GP Island for the remainder of the year. AMEN!
Later this evening I had to deal with more stress on top of being sick. Not like this is anything new. I feel like I am starting the same ole crap as I did last year. One huge never ending circle and told myself this just has to stop! I have to take care of myself and my health. I don't have time to deal with stress. I won't tolerate it anymore! Sick or not its just not worth the energy. I have learned you will never win any arguments either when someone is an addict. Thank goodness my living situation will be changing later this month. You can lead the horse to water but you can't make them drink. I hope to God I never have to deal with another person who is an addict for the rest of my life but if for some freak chance I do things will be different. I don't have it in me to put up with the level of things I have over the past year. My friend said, "I don't know how you do it or did it for so long but you have more patience then anyone I have ever seen." He babysits those who are addicts down at the county jail and sees first hand what they can do to everyone around them. Its a sad situation but until the person realizes they have a problem and want to get help you can't help them. I am fortunate to have a great therapist who has been working with me to arm myself with common knowledge and a list of what NOT to do living with an addict. He himself has treated addicts for over twenty years but because of the huge toll they take on family, friends and loved ones he no longer treats them. Sometimes like today I meet my limit, especially when I am not feeling well but I am glad to quickly overcome the anger and get back on track. You will never win an argument with anyone under the influence so as my specialists tell me you must learn to mentally and emotionally check yourself out from the individual. 
celebratory
We got tickets last month for a Michael Jackson tribute show at a casino in Indiana. Its only about a twenty minute drive so it wasn't too far but WOW was it crowded!! Once we got there I was already starting to get a bit tired. Its been a long past few days and although it always feels great getting out of the house and blending in with society it sadly doesn't take too long before the ole GP drains my energy. We did stay for a little over two hours. At least long enough to ring in the New Year. Funny thing was when I asked my friend what time it was seeing I had to make a bathroom trip he said I had ten minutes before it turned midnight. His cell phone clock must has been a bit off seeing once I went into the bathroom and sat down I heard loud music and horns, etc. I quickly went to wash my hands and overheard a few other people said, "Wow! we only have fifteen seconds left before the New Year!" Let's just say it was the fastest sprint out of the bathroom I ever did! LOOK OUT NIKE! Hahahaha! 
