Mood: don't ask
Now Playing: Day 632-The Final Road To Survival
Ahhhh...OK. Now I know why everyone has been acting scary! It's a full moon weekend! BOO! I guess this explains off the wall behavior. Sure...it all makes perfect sense now!
On a more serious note I got lots of support after last nights crazy, unnecessary and uncalled for chain of events. Thank goodness for friends who understand and can relate due to also living a part of my personal hell. Some in more ways than others but regardless I am still able to stick to my guns and keep both feet firmly on the ground. Consider it like a game of chess. One has to be careful before making any move. NEVER make a move off of emotion. Let all emotions ride out before making any logical steps. You will not only save yourself some time but additional stress.My friend apologized to me today in regards to not sticking up for me while having someone attempt to assault me. Honestly he said, "I don't know what I was thinking but I sure the heck wasn't thinking." It got to him all night and around 5am he confronted my ex about the entire incident that happened all because his puppy 'accidentally' got out of the house when he was walking Littleblue. Remember anyone who comes off drugs is bound to snap for no reason same goes for the sibling and whatever they were taking or under the influence of. Detoxing should be done under a controlled environment and never on your own cold turkey. Its a step down process. Not all at once. Lord only knows but it was CRAZY! My friend asked for my ex to apologize for coming after me and screaming when it wasn't my fault that his puppy 'accidentally' got out but I would never and don't hold my breath.
On top of the chain of events this is Drano treatment day and I still have a swollen back. Its important for me to walk around still due to my Idiopathic Gastroparesis but it doesn't come without the heavy price of constant pain. I have been through worse and I will just have to continue sucking up and dealing with it. I didn't sleep hardly at all last night into the morning and early afternoon. I got a few hours here and there in between the constant text messages and calls from very concerned out of state friends. At least they did talk me into some rational sense and helped me decide the next of many moves which will allow some peace back into my life. Its true! Unless you have lived it yourself or walked in someones shoes you will never know first hand what its like. They all know because they either have been through the same things or live it now. Consider it being a back bone for each other.
This evening once I could come down off between having the shakes and panic attacks I got my mind off of things and did some house chores as well tried my best to clean the car. Same car that sees the open road only twice a week if its lucky! Hahahaha! I didn't forget about the attempted assault last night. It hasn't left my mind. It won't leave my mind until I know justice has been served. I was reminded of my options and plan on taking them. It will be the first and the last time that incident will be happening. I also did a few other proactive things tonight in order to keep the peace. I had enough with stress and if others can't accept me as sick then you might as well not accept me at all. I have taken care of myself, this house and the fur gang for over eight years while being sick and I promise you even if I have to crawl I will be able to continue doing the same for the next eight years or sooner if God feels I finally deserve a peace of Heaven.
You know when it rains it pours and sometimes life just doesn't seem fair. So far I would like to call 2012 the year from hell. Hahahaha! If I need to continue playing the game of Battleship through out the rest of the year to put out all the fires then so be it. I have plenty of time!
With all the stress which should never have happened Oreo had another seizure late this evening. It scared the heck out of me but mostly my friend seeing Oreo was on his bed when it started. Once I came in he was shaking from head to toe and his eyes rolled back. I remembered the veterinarian telling me not to move him and just make sure he is warm and comfortable. Turn off all lights and any noise. We both remembered as we did our best to comfort Oreo. I can't stand with every breath in me seeing my fur kids sick. I know as well first hand all about seizures and they are scary! They also leave you feeling exhausted and disoriented. Oreo was taken to the vet emergency clinic once the seizure stopped. I spoke to the veterinarian seeing I couldn't go due to problems with my back and being in the bathroom. They ran blood work first to make sure there is no internal organ problems. If all comes back clear the vet said they might be dealing with a lesion or brain tumor. My heart just sank. We are taking things one day a time but for now I will fight to keep things as peaceful as possible in this house from here on out. The crazy person last night won't be around me for the rest of their life so that's one down.
I am learning that in life you take it one day and sometimes one hour at a time.
Thank you Kevin, Frances, Brian, John, Mike, AnnMarie, Jan and KimAngel for being the wonderful friends that you are! Thank you for being my rock and backbone when I have felt weak. Yes, it did good to cry it out last night but today is a new day and I got my game face back on! Love you all!