Now Playing: Day 631-The Final Road To Survival
Ever lose faith in people? I have.
So much for this being the start of a stress-free weekend. I should had just caned or wheel-chaired my way out of the house tonight but instead some how I made my back much worse last night. It could had been from moving a box or just bending the wrong way. Regardless I figured late last night it would just 'go away' if I just took it easy and used some ice. Instead I didn't sleep well and couldn't get comfortable. The pressure pain was horrible trying to sit up and when I went to move it only got worse. When I looked in the mirror my entire lower back was swollen. I think I bit my own tongue by not listening to my specialists and taking it easy. I had planned to go out this evening but instead got stuck once again inside my house-jail. At least the animal gang are enjoying having me home. So much for getting out once a week and with treatment tomorrow it doesn't look like I will be getting out to escape anytime soon. If I do it will only be to my local police department or county courthouse.
Did I say police and court?!...
Yes. I did. Seems after minding my own P's and Q's which one would think that would keep the peace I got hit with stress from HELL tonight! Here I was just resting on my couchbed and watching TV when my ex's sibling came over. Of course my friend got up because we weren't sure of the loud music outside and with my neighbor not home you just never know so he opened the door. Don't ask me why my ex's sibling was at the house seeing you know that little saying, "Out of sight, out of mind?" I live by that now and I am only concerned for myself. Once my ex went outside Jingles almost got out of the door behind him. At this point Oreo and Littleblue needed to go outside so my friend put their leashes on and opened the door. Once the door was open Jingles got out and he didn't stay in the yard either. OH NO! With my back being hurt I can't hardly walk to start with so I told my friend to give me their leashes and help my ex catch Jingles puppy. So one would THINK we were doing the right thing so Jingles puppy didn't get hit by a car but INSTEAD I hear my ex cursing up a storm trying to grab Jingles. My friend finally cornered Jingles and caught him but instead of 'thank you' he got a few choice words then the HELL started once again on me. Don't ask me how I got blamed for letting Jingles out when it was just an accident but remember when I said I won't be taking any ones crap anymore? I MEANT IT! My ex came into the house in a rage cursing and screaming at me. At the same time I told his sibling who was outside if they could leave because their brother was out of control but instead of helping to calm him down which normal people would do they came after me. Mouth, fists and all!
Let's be honest by saying anyone who has a drug or alcohol addiction problem you won't be winning any arguments nor reasoning. While I am hearing it from him I am hearing it from his sibling and things were getting NUTS! From minding my own business to once again being a punching bag I had to literally try to shut and lock the door on his sibling who was trying to grab and punch me all at the same time. YES! All this unnecessary stress and madness was going on while my friend of all people was just standing there. Call me crazy but I am not sure what he was thinking! He should had protected me by escorted the sibling off the property so they didn't cause me any further stress nor physical harm but...he didn't. My ex didn't help matters either by continuing to say they can come over and visit when they want. This was also going on while the sibling was still calling me every name under the sun while still reaching for the door and me. I am not sure what they were loaded or tanked on but I was just waiting for them to put their fists through the glass storm door. I wish they would had then maybe when they woke up the next day they would had realized how crazy they looked! I don't even talk to my ex's siblings nor family. I haven't in years so I am not sure why this sibling felt it was 'OK' to come after me like that. Its called aggravated menacing.
I AM SOOOOOOOO TIRED OF IT!
This is getting old and got old a few years ago but folks we just took things to a different level tonight. Here I sit with absolutely no faith in people within this city. After having the local police here and having to visit another department I remain with both feet planted firmly on the ground and I won't be taking crap. I meant what I said. Luckily my ex got his sibling to leave the property by literally putting them into a choke hold and holding both their hands behind their back. This should had never happened to begin with and someone should had intervened. Instead I feel like once again I am protecting myself with an Army of one called, "ME." A few people had to come by an hour later making sure the fire got put out for good! After they left I had to once again go back up to the police department in the name of protecting me, myself and I.
If anyone thinks alcohol, drug and addiction problems aren't a huge problem and cause nothing but complete hell for innocent people involved you are sadly mistaken! I don't forgive anyone who just stands around and does nothing nor those who enable the behavior. If you can't be proactive and help someone then you are no one in my book. How can anyone feel good about themselves by just sitting back? I have dealt with it first hand and this evening it went to a level that was completely uncalled for! If I could had done things differently I would had let his sibling open the door and come after me this way at least I had my cane to defend myself and who knows with the medical hell I have been put through over the years just how much force would had behind the hand but its called, "Self defense." Instead once again I am finding myself desperately putting a lid on hell and its becoming exhausting fighting all these battles. I'm keeping my promise of self respect and that won't be changing anytime soon.
I told someone tonight if I don't come out of my house and I take a year off from everyone around this city its for my own sake so I can get some peace and quiet. I just have no faith in people within this city. I don't have faith in families either who have troubled individuals and refuse to help them. Its not 'can you' get treatment. It should be 'you will' get treatment. I am a living, breathing human example of people who become the victim and I am tired of it!
No, I won't be sitting back and letting this one slide. Life is short and I won't continue wasting it on petty people. Some say you must forgive the actions of others. I say even God knows you can only allow so much forgiveness! I tend to think he would agree with me by saying, "After three times enough is enough and I won't be forgiving but I will forget because some people no matter who they are just aren't worth your time." Done.