Mood:  energetic

Ever lose yourself? Ever lose your self respect and dignity along with it? I did when I got diagnosed with Idiopathic Gastroparesis as it weakened my ability to think clearly thus becoming a weak person that I didn't like. Some how, some where and some day though when you least expect a button gets pushed and you find that strong person again.

WELCOME BACK MY FIERY FRIEND!

With a little help of some wonderful strong supportive people over the past three days I have done nothing but make positive changes and slowly refill my self respect right back where it should had been all along. AMEN! Like my sign, I am a scorpion in the corner just waiting to sting. I won't be taking anymore crap from anyone. It has caused me enough emotional stress and physical harm that it isn't worth it anymore. Some how I don't think I really needed to start taking self defense or boxing classes. I have enough fire in me now that I fear nothing and no one. Now remember...I haven't been punched or pushed 'yet' but at this point what I have been through as well seen anything is possible and let me tell you, "This gal is READY!" I know my limits and I know my boundaries and I might not have an Army standing behind me in this state but I have an Army of one called 'MYSELF' and she is one pissed off person!

Let's just say all the lying, screaming, cursing, yelling, belittling and being aggressive towards myself and any living creature has pushed my final button and warn my patience thin. Everyone has their limits. I will do whatever it takes to keep peace in my life. I was like this before I got sick and everyone respected me. I lost my respect somehow along the GP journey. Now I FINALLY HAVE IT BACK! Thank you to those who are my strength. Those who are strong and got me back on the right track!

Fear not because I am not alone. My friend had to recently take the bull by the horns and their life back with it too. Good for HIM! With a family who sided with the person who stole, lied, cheated, manipulated and conned everyone he sadly had to finally cut ties leaving just a few by his side. The tremendous amount of stress it was causing him when he was the one that had to deal with the addict was enough. He finally found the strength to push back and find some peace again for himself. I respect when others respect themselves. No one knows what its like to live with someone who has addictions unless they live with it. You can do the blame game all you want but being sick doesn't excuse someone to become an addict, theft or lier. I guess you can say he crossed the fine line in the sand and left the non supportive people behind. You gotta do what you gotta do in life to be happy! When people don't support you and protect you what good are they? They aren't.

I see my amazing therapist tomorrow armed with a team of support also accompanied by support. No. This fire won't be put out anytime soon. I go to bed with one eye open and wake up the same way. I am VERY alert to my surroundings and rightfully so. Even with all this crap going on I still have to do my treatments-no pun intended and just finished one up last night. Life doesn't stop for no one and neither does the ole Drano aka Hell-In-A-Jug either. Maybe now that I have learned to respect myself again others will learn to respect me back and not use me as a pushover or rug to walk on. If you want to push just expect to be pushed back. I take my health very seriously and won't be allowing anyone to take precious time off my hands anymore. Amen.

Posted by GastroparesisAwarenessCampaignOrg. at 11:59 PM EST

Updated: January 5, 2012 3:20 AM EST

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Mood:  sharp

OH HECK NO! I REFUSE to start this new year off on the wrong foot. I am lacing up my boxing gloves ready to fight off any evil that walks into my life or is already in it. This is the year for change. I am not asking. I am DEMANDING it!

There is nothing more powerful than surrounding yourself with strong people. I have already teamed myself up with someone who sadly enough is dealing with the exact same crazy stuff going on in their life. Maybe we are separated brother and sister by birth? Not sure but every bit of information we share is a mirrored image of one hellish past year. Mine a bit longer but still this is a great way to stick to our guns helping each other through the battle. Not only do they have an addict in their family but deal with others who believe he is the reason for the person to choose a road of drugs, lying, stealing and manipulation. Just sad isn't it? The only problem is these same people who point fingers at the one who is stuck dealing with the addict don't live with it. If they do come around I bet they don't stay long enough to see how damaging the addicts behavior can affect others who live in the same house with them.

Trust me its not pretty folks!

I personally have been called every name in the book as well other things I can't say online. I always remember its the disease talking however I also believe the person still knows what comes out of their mouth and can control it. I have had personal belongs stolen, medication stolen, prescriptions stolen and money that I saved from busting my chops on my SSD disability case for two years only to see it POOF! GONE! If anyone believes that someone who suffers from any medical condition causes someone to behave like this has literally fell off their rocker! I recently watched a puppy get tossed across the floor which only God knows how I kept my COOL! Let's just say if that happens again I doubt I will just stand there. I am not the gal who will sit back and watch bad things happen to anything that is living and breathing. I have my fight mode on and so far over the last forty eight hours I have contacted a local gym on taking self defense classes and boxing. Thanks to the person who lead me into the right direction. You know who you are and I do thank you. YES! What little energy I have left through out the week after treatments will now be put to great use! Some say I am in survivor mode. Yes, you could call it that but I like to say I am tired of the crap! I have seen the damage first hand that addicts can do leaving nothing but a trail of devastation behind them. And I thought Gastroparesis was evil?!

I was led to a organization and support group with people like myself who want to put a stop to the violence. Come on now, a year is enough but this has gotten way out of hand. How anyone can just sit back and walk away or act like nothing is happening is a coward in my book! If I had the money I would had already personally got the individual the extreme help they needed. Once they got clean and their lives back on track I am sure they would be shocked how they treated everyone around them. My specialists say, "It would be a rude awakening and seriously doubt the individual would want to go back to living such a self destructive life." I couldn't agree with them more. All this crap can only cause me to have more problems medically and I am sure it has rapidly progressed my condition. Heck with losing my hair, I am just glad I haven't lost my marbles! I have been functioning with the skeletons holding this secret in my closet the past year or so and I am sick of it. I am DONE WITH IT! This was also done with only three people who were strong enough to be by my side through out the ordeal. Sad isn't it?

So I guess you could say instead of taking the unhealthy route I am taking the 'healthy' route and venting. I am pissed! I am so angry I lost a great deal of my life to someones addictions. Sure, I can't take back the time but I can put a handle on my future and seize MY days here on out. Amen.

You know the bully syndrome right? Its when someone tries to manipulate those they feel are weaker than themselves. Ever watch the show on MTV called, "Bully Beatdown?" I feel instead of the court system which is only there to serve the guilty we just take those in the world who act like idiots and place them in a cage in front of the innocent and those who are victims and personally serve them a memorable punishment. I don't believe in jails. I believe in treating others like they treat you. The great USA might be great but try pulling some of the crap like raping, beating, robbing, stealing and murdering in another country and you are lucky to even see a court room. There are countries where they make sure the punishment fits the crime. I respect that!

If I hear one more time I can't take care of myself....Its the biggest line of crap I have ever heard! Hmmmm...If I can't take care of myself how the heck do I take care of a house, fur kids, finances then on top of it take care of others on top of being sick?! This isn't disability, this is hell folks. Yes, I am very upset! I don't cry a river I get things resolved and maybe I brushed off things a bit too long. On one hand I do take full responsibility of any behavior enabling someones addictions. I will be the first to admit maybe there were times when I knew I should had done this or should had done that but when you remember someone for the wonderful, kind hearted person they used to be you sometimes let things slide. What I shouldn't had let slide was my self respect and pride. Amen.

I am a Gastroparesis patient who deserves nothing but full support from everyone around me and that also includes protecting me from any bullying or unwanted stress. I can only hope this blog serves to show those who are going through the exact same thing I am as well a friend of mine that you don't deserve to be treated this way. You are better than that and sometimes you just have to know when to place both feet firmly down on the ground. People can only be pushed so far until one day they push back. I don't stand for domestic violence in any way, shape or form. Sadly I know someone else who also needs to place both feet firmly down and get their self respect back. You can't change people or tell them what to do but I want to be a POSITIVE EXAMPLE and ROLE MODEL not a pushover. If you can relate to any part of this blog I pray you too find the support and help you need to start making changes for YOU. Trust me by saying life is far too short. Make them now. Make them today. Not later.

“God places the heaviest burden on those who can carry its weight.”

“Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength.”

Posted by GastroparesisAwarenessCampaignOrg. at 11:40 PM EST

Updated: January 5, 2012 2:11 AM EST

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Mood:  sharp

It's the start of a new day. That's whats great about life. You can leave a bad day in the past and start off a new one on a clean slate!

Finally the holiday decorations are all put away. Honestly I doubt I will put up that many decorations next year and maybe just resort to a few trees and lights around the fireplace. Its just too exhausting and takes up way too much time! I feel like the holidays anymore are nothing but a mere hassle. I vow next year if others want to celebrate the festive season with me they will need to either drive or fly down south to the coast. I am aiming a personal goal of mine to have a peaceful Christmas next year. Once me and my friend put the last of the boxes back downstairs in the basement I could feel a huge sigh of relief come over me. 

The fur kids are still on antibiotics and although not 100% better they are at least eating a bit of canned food. I have to fill a bowl up with milk or water and bring it to them hoping they will at least drink a bit. Oreo still isn't drinking that much which has me a bit worried. If it continues by tomorrow evening I will have to take him back to the vet Wednesday. If anything at least the can food has water in it to help keep them hydrated. Jingles puppy is slowly getting back to himself. He is full of tons of energy running back and forth room to room. He still likes to eat laying down which I assume might just be called 'lazy' instead of being sick. Hahaha!

What we did have today was SNOW!!! BEAUTIFUL SNOW! I was so happy seeing all the pretty white flakes coming down that it truly made my day! Maybe God said, "This gal finally needs a bit of joy in her life!" Amen! Its even cold now and feeling more like winter. I sure wish this could last year round. Yes, I am living in the wrong state. Maybe Alaska or high on top of a mountain in Colorado might suit me better! Winter air just smells so much better because you don't have the humidity nor all the allergens in the air. Hopefully they are expecting us to have a lot more snow through the rest of the winter. One can only hope!

I decided today that this is going to be a changed year. I am so tired of going in circles over and over again. The same ole song and dance needs a different tune! Of course I will need lots of support and some help with my changes. Today I took the first step and it felt great! Its sad to say but when you deal with someone who has addictions their behavior can turn into emotional abuse, some may also call it domestic violence. It doesn't have to be physical either but mental. Its just all part of the addiction. Thankfully I will be getting the help I need to remain a strong person and stand my ground. Its never OK to take emotional abuse from anyone. I am not sure why I ever did to start with but its in the past and today is the present. I can't keep looking back when what I really need to do is look ahead. Yes, this is a blog about a Gastroparesis patient and this part holds true. Sometimes when one is sick people around the person who becomes an addict blames the individual who is sick for the addicts behavior. This is where the blame game starts when in all actuality maybe an intervention should had been done to help the person who has the addiction problems. Its easy to turn a blind eye to what goes on behind closed doors but honestly who finds their behavior OK when they know their own behavior isn't right to start with? Amen.

I have never played the 'SICK CARD' and I am tired of hearing my illness as an excuse for someone who has addiction problems. I am tired of hearing I, they, we, she, he can't help them when there are plenty of options out there to choose from. Its sad when everyone stands back and watches someone slowly decline and refuse to help the person. I did all I can at the same time being called every name in the book and put through more stress than one should ever have to go through in a lifetime. I have to use the 'SICK CARD' with this because guess what? I am sick. I have Gastroparesis but also dealing with inappropriate and unacceptable behavior.

Sorry but I don't find sitting back and watching someone who is sick deal with more stress without doing something about it OK. Sometimes I feel like when people don't understand something then go educate yourself and learn!

"People who struggle with addictive behaviors are often in denial about their situation or are unwilling to seek treatment. Often they don't recognize the negative effects their behavior has on themselves and others. It's not your fault and anyone who accepts or enables an addicts behavior is completely unacceptable. They aren't the solution, instead they also become the problem"

Thank goodness for this blog because I am able to read the changes that have been taken place in my life over the past few years. Not just what Gastroparesis does health wise but how weak it used to make me feel and being vulnerable as a punching bag for others. But not anymore. The same ole song and dance has finally ended and I will continue seeking all the help I need to keep it that way.

Posted by GastroparesisAwarenessCampaignOrg. at 11:59 PM EST

Updated: January 3, 2012 2:07 AM EST

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Mood:  don't ask

If this is what I have to look forward to in 2012 then I might as well pack it up and head to GP Island for the remainder of the year. AMEN!

It all started around 7:40am when I was sound asleep then woke up with Littleblue sitting up looking at me and a heavy feeling on the blanket. I was SMART to have two blankets last night seeing Littleblue was vomiting on me. YIKES! Let's just say I now have three fur kids at home all sick with the same viruses passing them around. Since they are airborne what I didn't know was this particular virus can also be caught by humans. Of course as the vet explained yesterday its only a risk for those with compromised immune systems so that once again puts me on the medical lottery. If they had such a lottery I would be a billionaire by now because anything rare out there I always seem to be the unlucky victim. I woke up my friend since Littleblue wouldn't stop vomiting and needed to go to the vet. The emergency clinic is only five minutes from the house and the veterinarian who treated Oreo said more than likely Littleblue would get the same virus.

He was sure right!

Once my friend let Jingles puppy outside and came back in to get the car situated with a few blankets, paper towels and a puke bag I was up myself puking in the bathroom. Not from the virus but my darn GP and intestines! YOU GOT TO BE JOKING ME! What a start to the new day! My friend was nice enough to not just help Littleblue out and the rest of the fur kids but also help me back to the couch. I couldn't go with him as sick as I was feeling but he was only there for an hour to get Littleblue started on two injections, one for the vomiting and the other an antibiotic. I had emergency pills at home from my last ER visit due to intestinal vomiting. I am taking the medicine for intestinal ulcers but still having the pain and burning. Luckily I see my Gastroenterologist in less than two weeks. For now it looks like this is the start of a week from HELL!

Later this evening I had to deal with more stress on top of being sick. Not like this is anything new. I feel like I am starting the same ole crap as I did last year. One huge never ending circle and told myself this just has to stop! I have to take care of myself and my health. I don't have time to deal with stress. I won't tolerate it anymore! Sick or not its just not worth the energy. I have learned you will never win any arguments either when someone is an addict. Thank goodness my living situation will be changing later this month. You can lead the horse to water but you can't make them drink. I hope to God I never have to deal with another person who is an addict for the rest of my life but if for some freak chance I do things will be different. I don't have it in me to put up with the level of things I have over the past year. My friend said, "I don't know how you do it or did it for so long but you have more patience then anyone I have ever seen." He babysits those who are addicts down at the county jail and sees first hand what they can do to everyone around them. Its a sad situation but until the person realizes they have a problem and want to get help you can't help them. I am fortunate to have a great therapist who has been working with me to arm myself with common knowledge and a list of what NOT to do living with an addict. He himself has treated addicts for over twenty years but because of the huge toll they take on family, friends and loved ones he no longer treats them. Sometimes like today I meet my limit, especially when I am not feeling well but I am glad to quickly overcome the anger and get back on track. You will never win an argument with anyone under the influence so as my specialists tell me you must learn to mentally and emotionally check yourself out from the individual.

Tomorrow is a new day and if I am to start turning over a new leaf in this New Year I must also learn when to put my foot down and say, "I had enough." Its tough when you don't want to see someone destroy their lives but I can't enable their behavior either. Time to zip it and not worry about others who create stress. Time to put those ear plugs and horse blinds on if I want this to be a better year. Amen. This email vacation response I got from a friend of mine when I went to send them a reply email this evening and thought it was just right up my alley. You have to respect honesty!

Wishing you all a Happy New Years! I plan on having a Very Changed Happy New Year! A lot of I will not's will take place and will most likely upset a lot of people, BUT I really don't care! My list of I will not's and changes will be life changing for me!!!...The Bull of 2011 is fixin to change! Hope your New Year will be as Happy as mine will be. I guarantee that mine will be Happier than before..."I Have A Plan" 
 

This is from someone who also owns a funeral home. Need I say more?...

Posted by GastroparesisAwarenessCampaignOrg. at 11:59 PM EST

Updated: January 2, 2012 4:28 AM EST

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Mood:  celebratory

I don't know how many others feel the way I do but let's just say I can't WAIT to bid this year a flippin GOOD BYE!

Of course my New Years Eve plans have taken a bit of a turn since I now not only have Jingles puppy I am watching who is sick but as well now Oreo. They started him on medication once the injection wore off so my friend gave him his pills today. It was tough getting Oreo to swallow the pill because he hasn't ate nor drank any water yet due to still not feeling well. We haven't noticed any seizures today so thats a good thing but like humans who have seizure disorders including myself you can't predict where or when they will happen next. Thank goodness he is being well taken care of here at home!

By 5pm I called to see if someone could come over and check on the fur kids this way at least me and my friend could get a break out of the house and possibly ring in a WELCOMED New Year! AMEN! I told them to just stop by around 10pm seeing we didn't even make it out of the house until almost 9pm. I purchased a cute dress a month ago and was really wanting to wear it out for New Years and my friend got a new pair of pants with comberbun and tie. I was determined as ever to give myself a break so after we changed clothes and I embraced my wig side due to my hair barely being there anymore we headed out to have some fun. Honestly I didn't realize the traffic we would run into on the way to our destination. Our goal was to leave by 7:40pm but with two sick fur kids at home departure time had to be pushed back.

We got tickets last month for a Michael Jackson tribute show at a casino in Indiana. Its only about a twenty minute drive so it wasn't too far but WOW was it crowded!! Once we got there I was already starting to get a bit tired. Its been a long past few days and although it always feels great getting out of the house and blending in with society it sadly doesn't take too long before the ole GP drains my energy. We did stay for a little over two hours. At least long enough to ring in the New Year. Funny thing was when I asked my friend what time it was seeing I had to make a bathroom trip he said I had ten minutes before it turned midnight. His cell phone clock must has been a bit off seeing once I went into the bathroom and sat down I heard loud music and horns, etc. I quickly went to wash my hands and overheard a few other people said, "Wow! we only have fifteen seconds left before the New Year!" Let's just say it was the fastest sprint out of the bathroom I ever did! LOOK OUT NIKE! Hahahaha!

Posted by GastroparesisAwarenessCampaignOrg. at 8:40 PM EST

Updated: January 2, 2013 1:31 AM EST

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Mood:  celebratory

Finally! It's New Years Eve! I don't know about some of you but this gal can't wait to give this year 2011 a swift KICK BYE-BYE!

Of course me and my friend didn't get up until mid afternoon due to a house full of sick kids. Oreo hasn't ate or drank anything yet and just laying around. Jingles still has the hacking cough but not as bad prior to getting checked out and put on medication. We weren't sure about this evenings plans seeing things at home were still touch and go. Honestly with all the wash that still needs to be done from Oreo puking our destination time if we do go out might have to be pushed back. Oreo was also very hard to get him to swallow his pills. It was a two person effort on the first time around.

So by 7:00pm after making a call to have someone stop by the house to check on the fur gang we both got dressed to ring in the New Year. I bought a really cute dress earlier this month and my friend got a new pair of pants with comber bun and tie. This was also the first time I embraced my wig side seeing my hair is on its last leg or more like last strand, hahahaha! We bought tickets to a Michael Jackson tribute show last month at a casino which is only around a twenty minute drive from the house. We 'planned' on heading out to beat the holiday traffic no later than 8pm however that didn't happen with so many things going on around the house. By the time we got close to the casino the traffic was already bad but I was determined as ever to enjoy the night!

Everyone was dressed up at the club and casino. They also had live bands playing and the crowd was pretty much under control. Not too many drunks seeing I can't stand out of control people. Sorry...but I am not in my 20's anymore and don't plan on reliving those days either. Once it came close to around midnight I asked my friend how many minutes we had left seeing I had to run to the bathroom. He told me we still had ten minutes but his cell phone clock must had been a bit off. By the time I sat down in the bathroom I heard loud music, horns, etc. I quickly washed my hands while overhearing two woman say, "Wow! we are just fifteen seconds away from the New Year." Let's just say that was the fastest run out of the bathroom I have ever done because I refuse to ring in a New Year in the bathroom! I spend enough time in there at home during treatments. AMEN! Watch out Nike! This gal was FAST! Hahahahaha!

Posted by GastroparesisAwarenessCampaignOrg. at 8:40 PM EST

Updated: January 2, 2012 3:37 AM EST

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Mood:  on fire

The day after treatment has turned into a day from HELL! I am beyond hungover from the darn Drano with a smashing headache. This treatment of course hit me neurologically. Seems you just can't determine jug to jug what each toxic poison mix contains.

Jingles puppy hasn't been feeling too well and its hard to determine if maybe he might have a separate virus. He is of course a young pup so even if sick they still want to play but his stool smells horrific and he might need a prescription dewormer. Regardless I felt it was best to take him to the vet and get a re-check. So around 3:45pm after playing clean up around the house and working on four loads of wash we took him up to see the vet.

Thankfully the rest of the fur kids at the house are feeling fine although Oreo and Littleblue still want no part of Jingles. The kitty gang take their stance whenever Jingles comes running up to play. You will hear the occasional hiss and then a loud swat! They might not have their back claws but they sure make good use of their front ones Jingle is learning very, very quickly!

Once we got to the vet we didn't have to wait too long and they re-examined Jingles who is still battling kennel cough and a virus. He is slowly getting better but its important to bathe him once they are coming down off their virus. It helps to rid any bacteria on their skin too! Let's just say I am BEAT and now we must go home and bathe him on top of finishing up loads of wash. No pun intended! GEES! Jingles was a little beastly handful on the way to the vet but after getting his second round of puppy shots he was out like a light on the way home laid back down for a nap once we got through the front door.

KEY WORDS: Once we got through the front door...

Within five minutes walking into the house we were greeted by puke everywhere. OH NO! It didn't take long to realize Oreo is now sick. I had a hunch they would all get whatever Jingles brought into the house and I was right! Oreo kept vomiting so guess what we did? Since Oreo is 13 years old and viruses are much harder to fight for him back to the vet we all went! Seems upon examination I was correct in my guessing, Oreo has the same viruses that Jingles has but its hitting him ten times harder. He didn't have a fever then but that sure changed later on in the evening! They gave him a shot for the vomiting and nausea then a strong injection filled with antibiotics.

What a day!!

I thought everything would be OK as me and my friend finished up what seemed to be a never ending game of wash, shampooing and vacuuming the house. I honestly don't know how the heck I did it today being so sick and tired myself but in life sometimes you just have to do what you need to do. Jingles finally laid down to sleep around 10pm but around 12:30am Oreo started having seizures with delayed breathing. I was extremely concerned but didn't want to move him because I personally know first hand what you can do to someone moving them during a seizure so I called the emergency clinic down the street from my house. They had us bring Oreo down asap! I wasn't sure if he would make it but boy was I HOT HOT HOT for someone bringing over a pup so sick knowing it could hurt the other fur kids. Some people are just STUPID! But when people become addicts they can't even take care of themselves whether alone even a plant!

Once we arrived at the clinic they let us in and took Oreo back right away. The veterinarian came back in to explain why Oreo is so sick and declined so quickly. With him being 13 years old he can't fight off infections and viruses like younger fur kids. Its very similar to my fragile immune system and having to be super cautious around anyone who is sick. I catch things super fast and so can Oreo. He was running a 102.5 fever so definitely up from just earlier this afternoon. They had to give us more antibiotics then explained with the tremors, seizures and poor Oreo being so sick its touch and go. My nerves as well my friends were shot! The only good thing is the kitty gang can't get canine viruses so they are in the clear but Littleblue can catch the same viruses since they are airborne so we must watch her very closely. For now they want us to wait 48 hours to see if Oreo's body can bounce back from the virus since it is just now in the active stage. As far as seizures they can't do much because they are very common in older pets.

Like I said and said it a million times before:

I don't do well with stupid people who not only should but DO know better. AMEN.

Posted by GastroparesisAwarenessCampaignOrg. at 11:59 PM EST

Updated: December 31, 2011 6:30 PM EST

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Mood:  d'oh

YEAH!! The holidays are almost over as we count down to New Years Eve. So in celebration of this upcoming weekend I thought I would have my very own little party right here at the house! DRANOTINI NIGHT!

WHOAHOA!

Yes! Everyone is invited and all you need to do is bring your own favorite chaser and I will provide the rest! You can drink as much as you want! Need to drop a few pants or dress sizes before the holiday weekend? No problem! I have enough jugs for everyone! Hahahahaha!

Thank goodness for another solid night of rest. The new medication knocked me out cold! I didn't even wake up once nor have to get up making a bathroom trip in the middle of the night. I woke up in the same position that I fell asleep! The hard part was dealing with the drug haze but I was able to walk it off later this afternoon. I even got up at 1pm! WOW! Yes, I know! My friend has a three day weekend off so he is looking forward to getting some rest. Jingles puppy is slowly getting used to being at the house however the fur kids aren't too happy with him temporarily staying here. Oreo gives his warning growl and Littleblue stays far, far away from Jingles as possible. If Jingles grabs any of her toys Littleblue is quick to pick them up and place them high out of reach on the couch. I make sure to give the fur kids extra attention now with Jingle's around. Poor guy. Jingles has a vet visit tomorrow for a recheck on his cold and kennel cough as well to get a second round of dewormer. I am hoping to have a low key day tomorrow and just catch up on my Jersey Shore DVDs then later on watch my friend TRY to beat my Asteroids record on the old school Atari game. Hahahaha! This evening I turned over the game three times in a row with a 100,000 score! Am I good or what?! I warned him that back in the day Asteroids was MY GAME!

This evening I got the ole Hell-In-A-Jug together and my chaser glass. I had a few takers over at the house however they passed on any Dranotini's. Maybe next time although I did let them know I had plenty to share! Even some to go! Within three hours I dropped a few pants sizes and brain cells to boot Hahahaha! Just part of the ole Drano side affects. My goal is hoping by Saturday I will be bounced back enough to go out for the New Years Eve festivities if even for a few hours. Until then I just have to play things by ear in my typical GP life. Sunday I have a few more glasses of the nasty stuff to toss back. I split this treatment in half because I don't want my angry insides to feel more like fire than they already have been.

Only time will tell...

Posted by GastroparesisAwarenessCampaignOrg. at 11:59 PM EST

Updated: December 30, 2011 2:13 AM EST

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Mood:  surprised

FINALLY! I got some solid sleep!

I might not went to bed until 5am but I was still able to catch a good eight hours of rest. Thank goodness I only got woken up a few times. My friend now sleeps in a different room so he can hear baby Jingles puppy when he needs to go outside. Since the poor little guy is still battling a kennel cough and virus its important he not only gets plenty of rest but as well food, water and medication taken twice a day. Hopefully by the time he returns to his new home he will be 100% better and so far potty trained too! He's so smart! Littleblue was also a very smart puppy but it took much longer than just four days to house break her from having accidents. I tend to think Jingles watches Oreo and Littleblue understanding that you go potty "outside" not inside.

Unfortunately what did wake me up this afternoon was the darn tremors. Luckily they didn't cause me to go into a full blown seizure. I only been getting seizures around once a month now since we don't have that much sunlight during the winter months plus VAMPIRES like myself sleep right through the peak hours of day light. BOO! Hahahaha! Come summertime? FORGET IT! Between the migraines, tremors and seizures I am stuck in the house most of the time. I dread summer anymore! Can't stand it! Thanks to Gastroparesis and my messed up set of central nervous system wiring its been a not so fun nor pleasant GP journey. Amen.

I haven't had too much luck yet taking medication to help cool the stomach fire off so my GI doctor called in a new medicine today hoping maybe to hit a few things at once. Donnatal. The only downside with this medication are the side effects such as knocking you out like a light and slowing things down a bit TOO MUCH. Like I need more slow organs or how about a dependency to barbiturates? UMMMM...NOT! Why in the world with all the billions upon billions of dollars pharma companies can't create medication without tons of side affects? You try to fix one problem but then end up creating ten more. It makes me a bit hesitant to take any new drug but I do need to calm my angry insides down including the waves of nausea and vomiting. I have tried this same medication years ago to no avail and it didn't resolve my problems either. If we are dealing with intestinal ulcers its going to take more than just this medication to fix the problem. I also am on a clear bland diet.

WAIT! HAVEN'T I ALREADY BEEN ON ONE THE PAST EIGHT YEARS?!

Hahahaha! Now THAT WAS FUNNY! Regardless, I am not hungry to start with and even taking in fluids burns all the way down but being the good patient that I am this gal will try things over the next few weeks. I have a follow up to see my Gastroenterologist January 12th. If things don't resolve by then the next step will be going in via endoscope. Sometimes with Gastroparesis you just have to accept that some things can't be fixed and instead pray sooner than later they resolve on their own. I sure don't need to lose any more weight.

With it only being a few days away until my next Hell-In-A-Jug treatment I am keeping close tabs on all the new medication as well existing ones. Everyone has been asking what plans I have for the upcoming New Years Eve. My response is same as any other day, "I have to play things by ear. It all depends on how I am feeling and if my Idiopathic Gastroparesis will let me out of the house to play." Hahahahaha! Well at least I was lucky enough to get out of the house for a bit this afternoon. Two days in a row being house-jailed is enough to drive anyone nuts but at least my fur kids keep me busy. They are the best!

Off to watch Jersey Shore season 1 on DVD. So far I got through disc one and now close to finishing up disc two. WHOAHOA! Things that make a GP gal happy! Hahahaha!

Posted by GastroparesisAwarenessCampaignOrg. at 11:59 AM EST

Updated: December 29, 2011 3:32 AM EST

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Mood:  sharp

8am and I FINALLY went to sleep! WHEW! Maybe this is just part of sleeping with the rest of the VAMPIRES...BOO! Hahahaha! I have officially caught up with my friends third shift sleep schedule but not by choice seeing this sure can't be healthy for my tired body. I am still dealing with vomiting but crossing my fingers the new medication will help with the burning and stomach pain. Only time will tell.

Not that I don't have enough on my full plate I also have a temporary fur baby staying at the house through next month. His name is "Jingles" and a cute hand full but smart as a whistle! I LOVE PUPPIES so its not a surprise I do my best to be the best babysitter as possible. He has been here for four days now and is fighting a double infection. Poor little guy. The other fur kids aren't too happy with Jingle staying over the next four weeks but like I said, "Its just on a temporary basis." Call it, "Me and my friend earning our fur wings," heeheeheeheehee! With the end of this week being the final HORRAY of the holidays there isn't much of anything else going on with my GP life so Jingles will at least keep me and my mind busy from going into any depression. Amen.

I read a study that was recently conducted on random acts of kindness. Not only was it fascinating to me but worthy of sharing. Its not what I also believe but what I know.

It doesn't matter if you are rich or poor. What we all need to do is help one another. Sadly our society is too busy screaming, "LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME! on Facebook and other social networks. We need to instead look at and assist those who are saying, "Help Me! Help Me!" Amen.

Poor People May Be Quicker to Be Kind

TUESDAY, Dec. 27-- Poor people are quicker than middle-class or rich individuals to recognize the suffering of others and to show compassion, according to a new study.

It included more than 300 young adults who were divided into groups that took part in three experiments designed to assess their levels of empathy and compassion.

The findings challenge previous research that concluded lower-class people are more likely to react with anxiety and hostility when faced with adversity, said the researchers at the University of California, Berkeley.

"These latest results indicate that there's a culture of compassion and cooperation among lower-class individuals that may be born out of threats to their well-being," study author and social psychologist Jennifer Stellar said in a university news release.

"It's not that the upper classes are cold-hearted. They may just not be as adept at recognizing the cues and signals of suffering because they haven't had to deal with as many obstacles in their lives," she explained.

The findings, published online Dec. 12 in the journal Emotion, suggest a scientific basis for emotional differences between the rich and poor that are depicted in such Charles Dickens classics as "A Christmas Carol" and "A Tale of Two Cities."

The results also indicate that people from lower socioeconomic backgrounds may do better in cooperative settings than those who are wealthy.

"Upper-class individuals appear to be more self-focused, they've grown up with more freedom and autonomy," Stellar said. "They may do better in an individualist, competitive environment."

Posted by GastroparesisAwarenessCampaignOrg. at 11:44 PM EST

Updated: December 28, 2011 12:06 AM EST

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