Now Playing: Day 627-The Final Road To Survival
OH HECK NO! I REFUSE to start this new year off on the wrong foot. I am lacing up my boxing gloves ready to fight off any evil that walks into my life or is already in it. This is the year for change. I am not asking. I am DEMANDING it!
There is nothing more powerful than surrounding yourself with strong people. I have already teamed myself up with someone who sadly enough is dealing with the exact same crazy stuff going on in their life. Maybe we are separated brother and sister by birth? Not sure but every bit of information we share is a mirrored image of one hellish past year. Mine a bit longer but still this is a great way to stick to our guns helping each other through the battle. Not only do they have an addict in their family but deal with others who believe he is the reason for the person to choose a road of drugs, lying, stealing and manipulation. Just sad isn't it? The only problem is these same people who point fingers at the one who is stuck dealing with the addict don't live with it. If they do come around I bet they don't stay long enough to see how damaging the addicts behavior can affect others who live in the same house with them.
Trust me its not pretty folks!
I personally have been called every name in the book as well other things I can't say online. I always remember its the disease talking however I also believe the person still knows what comes out of their mouth and can control it. I have had personal belongs stolen, medication stolen, prescriptions stolen and money that I saved from busting my chops on my SSD disability case for two years only to see it POOF! GONE! If anyone believes that someone who suffers from any medical condition causes someone to behave like this has literally fell off their rocker! I recently watched a puppy get tossed across the floor which only God knows how I kept my COOL! Let's just say if that happens again I doubt I will just stand there. I am not the gal who will sit back and watch bad things happen to anything that is living and breathing. I have my fight mode on and so far over the last forty eight hours I have contacted a local gym on taking self defense classes and boxing. Thanks to the person who lead me into the right direction. You know who you are and I do thank you. YES! What little energy I have left through out the week after treatments will now be put to great use! Some say I am in survivor mode. Yes, you could call it that but I like to say I am tired of the crap! I have seen the damage first hand that addicts can do leaving nothing but a trail of devastation behind them. And I thought Gastroparesis was evil?!
I was led to a organization and support group with people like myself who want to put a stop to the violence. Come on now, a year is enough but this has gotten way out of hand. How anyone can just sit back and walk away or act like nothing is happening is a coward in my book! If I had the money I would had already personally got the individual the extreme help they needed. Once they got clean and their lives back on track I am sure they would be shocked how they treated everyone around them. My specialists say, "It would be a rude awakening and seriously doubt the individual would want to go back to living such a self destructive life." I couldn't agree with them more. All this crap can only cause me to have more problems medically and I am sure it has rapidly progressed my condition. Heck with losing my hair, I am just glad I haven't lost my marbles! I have been functioning with the skeletons holding this secret in my closet the past year or so and I am sick of it. I am DONE WITH IT! This was also done with only three people who were strong enough to be by my side through out the ordeal. Sad isn't it?
So I guess you could say instead of taking the unhealthy route I am taking the 'healthy' route and venting. I am pissed! I am so angry I lost a great deal of my life to someones addictions. Sure, I can't take back the time but I can put a handle on my future and seize MY days here on out. Amen.
You know the bully syndrome right? Its when someone tries to manipulate those they feel are weaker than themselves. Ever watch the show on MTV called, "Bully Beatdown?" I feel instead of the court system which is only there to serve the guilty we just take those in the world who act like idiots and place them in a cage in front of the innocent and those who are victims and personally serve them a memorable punishment. I don't believe in jails. I believe in treating others like they treat you. The great USA might be great but try pulling some of the crap like raping, beating, robbing, stealing and murdering in another country and you are lucky to even see a court room. There are countries where they make sure the punishment fits the crime. I respect that!
If I hear one more time I can't take care of myself....Its the biggest line of crap I have ever heard! Hmmmm...If I can't take care of myself how the heck do I take care of a house, fur kids, finances then on top of it take care of others on top of being sick?! This isn't disability, this is hell folks. Yes, I am very upset! I don't cry a river I get things resolved and maybe I brushed off things a bit too long. On one hand I do take full responsibility of any behavior enabling someones addictions. I will be the first to admit maybe there were times when I knew I should had done this or should had done that but when you remember someone for the wonderful, kind hearted person they used to be you sometimes let things slide. What I shouldn't had let slide was my self respect and pride. Amen.
I am a Gastroparesis patient who deserves nothing but full support from everyone around me and that also includes protecting me from any bullying or unwanted stress. I can only hope this blog serves to show those who are going through the exact same thing I am as well a friend of mine that you don't deserve to be treated this way. You are better than that and sometimes you just have to know when to place both feet firmly down on the ground. People can only be pushed so far until one day they push back. I don't stand for domestic violence in any way, shape or form. Sadly I know someone else who also needs to place both feet firmly down and get their self respect back. You can't change people or tell them what to do but I want to be a POSITIVE EXAMPLE and ROLE MODEL not a pushover. If you can relate to any part of this blog I pray you too find the support and help you need to start making changes for YOU. Trust me by saying life is far too short. Make them now. Make them today. Not later.