Mood: don't ask
Now Playing: Day 625-The Final Road To Survival
If this is what I have to look forward to in 2012 then I might as well pack it up and head to GP Island for the remainder of the year. AMEN!
It all started around 7:40am when I was sound asleep then woke up with Littleblue sitting up looking at me and a heavy feeling on the blanket. I was SMART to have two blankets last night seeing Littleblue was vomiting on me. YIKES! Let's just say I now have three fur kids at home all sick with the same viruses passing them around. Since they are airborne what I didn't know was this particular virus can also be caught by humans. Of course as the vet explained yesterday its only a risk for those with compromised immune systems so that once again puts me on the medical lottery. If they had such a lottery I would be a billionaire by now because anything rare out there I always seem to be the unlucky victim. I woke up my friend since Littleblue wouldn't stop vomiting and needed to go to the vet. The emergency clinic is only five minutes from the house and the veterinarian who treated Oreo said more than likely Littleblue would get the same virus.
He was sure right!
Once my friend let Jingles puppy outside and came back in to get the car situated with a few blankets, paper towels and a puke bag I was up myself puking in the bathroom. Not from the virus but my darn GP and intestines! YOU GOT TO BE JOKING ME! What a start to the new day! My friend was nice enough to not just help Littleblue out and the rest of the fur kids but also help me back to the couch. I couldn't go with him as sick as I was feeling but he was only there for an hour to get Littleblue started on two injections, one for the vomiting and the other an antibiotic. I had emergency pills at home from my last ER visit due to intestinal vomiting. I am taking the medicine for intestinal ulcers but still having the pain and burning. Luckily I see my Gastroenterologist in less than two weeks. For now it looks like this is the start of a week from HELL!Later this evening I had to deal with more stress on top of being sick. Not like this is anything new. I feel like I am starting the same ole crap as I did last year. One huge never ending circle and told myself this just has to stop! I have to take care of myself and my health. I don't have time to deal with stress. I won't tolerate it anymore! Sick or not its just not worth the energy. I have learned you will never win any arguments either when someone is an addict. Thank goodness my living situation will be changing later this month. You can lead the horse to water but you can't make them drink. I hope to God I never have to deal with another person who is an addict for the rest of my life but if for some freak chance I do things will be different. I don't have it in me to put up with the level of things I have over the past year. My friend said, "I don't know how you do it or did it for so long but you have more patience then anyone I have ever seen." He babysits those who are addicts down at the county jail and sees first hand what they can do to everyone around them. Its a sad situation but until the person realizes they have a problem and want to get help you can't help them. I am fortunate to have a great therapist who has been working with me to arm myself with common knowledge and a list of what NOT to do living with an addict. He himself has treated addicts for over twenty years but because of the huge toll they take on family, friends and loved ones he no longer treats them. Sometimes like today I meet my limit, especially when I am not feeling well but I am glad to quickly overcome the anger and get back on track. You will never win an argument with anyone under the influence so as my specialists tell me you must learn to mentally and emotionally check yourself out from the individual.
"Addiction affects family members worse than it does the actual addict. This is because the family members are not high and drunk and are able to have an outside, objective viewpoint on the damage the addiction is causing. The addict is constantly in a haze and off in another world, so they do not realize all of the damage they are doing to themselves by living their lifestyle."
Tomorrow is a new day and if I am to start turning over a new leaf in this New Year I must also learn when to put my foot down and say, "I had enough." Its tough when you don't want to see someone destroy their lives but I can't enable their behavior either. Time to zip it and not worry about others who create stress. Time to put those ear plugs and horse blinds on if I want this to be a better year. Amen. This email vacation response I got from a friend of mine when I went to send them a reply email this evening and thought it was just right up my alley. You have to respect honesty!
Wishing you all a Happy New Years! I plan on having a Very Changed Happy New Year! A lot of I will not's will take place and will most likely upset a lot of people, BUT I really don't care! My list of I will not's and changes will be life changing for me!!!...The Bull of 2011 is fixin to change! Hope your New Year will be as Happy as mine will be. I guarantee that mine will be Happier than before..."I Have A Plan"
This is from someone who also owns a funeral home. Need I say more?...