Mood:
Now Playing: Day 612-The Final Road To Survival
I have come to realize that in life you will never know the true meaning of suffering until you have suffered yourself. It is now less than a week before Christmas and I am already finding myself stressed out. To me a peaceful holiday would be relaxing on the beach somewhere with a huge strawberry margarita! WHOAHOA! Know anyone who has a trip planned with some extra space in their luggage? If so give me a call! I am small enough, I will find a way to fit!
Well sure enough the blood work that was done by my doctor last week showed exactly what we both thought: Lack of absorption aka meaning my organs are not absorbing important vitamins and nutrients due to my paralyzed GI organs. No wonder my sugar and everything else is all out of whack! At least now as my doctor said, "We have all the proof!" Its official folks! There is no turning back with my hair loss! Not only am I going to do like the commercial says, "I'm going to wash that gray right outta my hair," but as well literally wash my hair out of my hair, hahahaha! Not sure how I can make light of a serious topic but sometimes you just need to find humor in bad situations. I came SUPER CLOSE to taking the ole hair sheers out and getting to business finding a shorter cut or literally finding my inner LadyGaga with wigs and all...
Gastroparesis is just NUTS!
So for now I must still continue fighting to plug as many liquid vitamins, chewy gummy bear vitamins, meal supplement drinks and fruits/vegetables via my juicer machine all to find out it STILL ISN'T ENOUGH! GEES! The new formula in Slimfast doesn't help matters either seeing its so thick in consistency that I have to mix the bottle with half water and put it into another container just so I don't vomit everything right back up. It seems even Boost and Ensure went to plastic bottles and changed their formulas a bit. Sometimes with GP you just can't win.
This weekend I made it an important point to visit loved ones at the cemeteries and place down holiday flowers for Christmas. I have done this every year for as long as I can remember, even before I got sick and was diagnosed with Idiopathic Gastroparesis. What most people who don't have GP don't realize is all the changes we must make as patients to incorporate normal daily activities that most take for granted. Oh trust me, even with a case of puke bags and a huge heating pad in hand I would still had made it to the cemeteries. You should never forget those who are suffering and sick here on earth nor forget about them once they depart to a far better place in Heaven. After my visit Sunday placing flowers down for family and loved ones I looked around to see just way, way,way too many of those departed who had empty graves. There were even some with excessive over brush growth that you couldn't even make out if there was a grave there or not. It really made me very sad and sick to realize how selfish and self centered our society has truly become that we can't even take an hour out of our own lives to respect those who have parted.
One by one me and my friend placed down a cute arrangement with a single white bird of peace tied with a white glitter ribbon. For many loved ones it appeared I was the only one who had visited them for the holidays. Not all of them but half. I also visited a dear friend of mines Mother's grave who was such a inspiration in my life for years ago. It did appear however someone was recently there and left a beautiful arrangement of poinsettias. While we were walking around placing more flowers down I couldn't help but brush off leaves on some graves to reveal those who have passed recently or years prior but were somehow sadly forgotten. How can anyone forget a loved one? How can anyone not respect those who have parted?
When it is your time and you have passed on to a much better place called Heaven would you want to be forgotten and never visited? I don't.
I told a few people that same day, "If I am brushed away that quickly and forgotten after I have passed I will come back to haunt everyone who failed to take an hour each week out of their lives to visit me." Some of course laughed but I wasn't. I take those words very seriously as well seeing so many empty graves during the holidays. To me there is just absolutely no excuse someone can't take a time out of their lives to visit with family, friends or loved ones who are sick during the holidays and those who lost their own battle with a sickness and now rest in peace.
After visiting all the cemeteries and resting assure they will never be forgotten by me because I won't let that happen I decided to finish out the evening and carry on the holiday tradition. How you may ask?
Visiting the local light displays and a beautiful manger scene. Christmas just isn't Christmas if I couldn't take a day to breath in the true meaning of the holidays. Its not about getting gifts. Its about giving a bit of yourself.

My friend did an interview for a local newspaper in Florida about her experience living with a rare medical condition as well the constant changes and hardship that come along with it. After reading the article-one of two that will be published over the next week my heart sank due to the constant stress not just living with Gastroparesis but as well the strain it places upon the patient and their family. Sadly I could relate with many important facts in the article and the financial draining it leaves the patient who only wants to live.

I woke up at 3pm to the cutest site! Littleblue and Oreo side by side watching over Mommy sleeping. They are indeed some amazing fur nurses aren't they? Of course the Hedgehog stuffed animal babies have arrived. All twelve of them. They were born we believe at 3:45pm, this is of course the time Littleblue decided to gather all her hedgehog stuffed animal puppies in a pile then placed them neatly on the couch. She is a very protective new Mommy! Heeheeheehee! Try to take one? FORGET IT! She might take your hand with it too, hahahaha! This is her third hedgehog litter and they usually grow large enough to be on their own again as stuffed animal hedgehogs in around two weeks.
It began last week in Grand Rapids, Mich., with a single act of generosity: A woman reportedly paid off the Kmart layaway accounts of several strangers.
Three people had stopped by the layaway desk at the Kmart on Delaware Street in San Mateo by 3:30 p.m. Friday to make payments for people they'd never met. One of them was a young woman named Mary, who waited in line for 20 minutes to pay an account down from roughly $270 to $20. Mary, who didn't give her last name, had already visited the store on Veterans Boulevard in Redwood City and plunked down $150, erasing two layaway accounts almost entirely.
Time to do treatment! No, I can't hold it off another day. With Christmas only being a week away now I must plan out treatments around the holidays. Once again I am planning my life around a jug of liquid dynamite...
NOT!
My friend has been playing the lottery. Mega Millions to be exact. Last week he didn't get any numbers but tonight he won $5.00! Heck, that's a drop of gasoline, enough to go up the street and claim his winnings, hahaha! Nah! He's just going to put it towards next weeks drawing. You just never know...maybe one day he might win something big! He more than deserves it since he has been placing so much on the line as well doing many changes in his own life to help me with mine. Amen.
I still haven't been able to see my great nephew yet. Those in the house have been spreading different colds and flu's to each other. Every time I was going to go visit him I was warned ahead of time that someone else is sick. It is that time of the year but if all else fails at least I will be able to finally see him within the next week. He sure looks like a China doll doesn't he? Just look at all that hair! I remember having all that hair. Now I remember seeing it going down the drain each time I wash it! Hahahaha!
I was beat last night and with all this rain I made it to sleep a bit earlier too! So maybe not by 11pm, hahaha! but instead 3am. Come on...my usual time is between 5-6am. I had a follow up appointment with my specialist today so I made sure to set my cell phone alarm so I didn't sleep the day away. My friend is off work the next few days and was nice enough to agree to go with me. He also had a few errands to run after my appointment.
We all have yeast in our bodies. Its normal. Whats NOT normal is when the body builds colonies of yeast due to damage intestines and weakened immune systems. Put me in that catagory. I don't absorb sugar properly. If any...barely. This has my internal organs even more confused and altered. I also have rapid flushing with my kidneys. Sugar, hair loss, malabsorption and kidney problems GP related? Yes. Hair loss isn't all from the Drano treatments it is mostly caused by the lack of absorbing important nutrients in solid foods as well liquids. Yes, its inevitable I am close to losing the rest of my hair but this gal has know for quite awhile. Its just hair and my doctors have more important things to worry about like making intestines work that are paralyzed and keeping me from becoming toxic. I still needed confirmation regarding the great hair loss mystery and today I got it! When it comes the time and that will be soon "I" will be the one holding the sheers not a beautician at the local salon. 


It's hard to be festive when you are sick, but where there is a will there will always be a way!
Its a tradition for me and now going on 14 years. This is new to my friend but he really enjoyed it! Its nice when you are not feeling well to just drive-thru the display and not worry about having to get out of the car.
The fur kids really enjoyed the lights although I tend to think they were more focused on smelling the cold, fresh air out the windows and wanting to be one with the woods, hahahaha! They were already tired prior to taking them seeing we made sure to go for a short walk first to avoid any 'accidents' in the car. They had a few new displays this year at the Holidays In Lights and added a new SantaLand where you can visit Santa and his Elves. It was a great day to go because we didn't have to wait in any long lines to view the lights and we could take our time. The fur gang were on their best behavior. Needless to say once we got back home they were all out like a light! Hahahaha! 
Thank you also to all my fellow GP friends as well family, friends and loved ones for the festive cards that line the doors near my couchbed. Its very nice to wake up and see all the colorful cards! 
That's another 'V' for victory! YES! I am still ALIVE! I made it through another Hell-In-A-Jug aka Drano treatment! WHOAHOA! Never again though should I attempt treatment being home alone in the evenings seeing this round wasn't very nice in fact it was extremely wicked! When things hit you a wee bit too quickly it can also hit you twice as hard when it comes to side affects of the unknown. I have also come to learn peppermint tastes the same coming back up as it goes down. YUCK! So maybe peppermint isn't such a good thing to eat hours after treatment although it seemed like a great idea at the time!
Off to join Littleblue on my couchbed as Oreo enjoys some birthday Milkbone treats. Glad one of us can splurge this evening! Hahahaha!




