Mood:  d'oh

I have an off topic question...

Why don't they have hooks in restrooms for a cane? Seems some have places to put your purse, although they are few and far between but try balancing your purse and a cane, hahahaha! Sorry...just had to throw that off topic question out there for the world.

There hasn't been any fun Zumba or Country Dance Wii nights lately. Instead its been more like sleep nights while my body still tries to rebound from the last Hell-In-A-Jug treatment. Today was just horrible and I am dragging. T I R E D! I better pick one of the next few days because the longer I procrastinate drinking Drano the harder its going to hit me. Unfortunately my friend has Army drill this weekend on top of working full time at the jail babysitting the bad guys. I'm not comfortable anymore being home alone after treatment. I can handle vomiting and tossing back the toxic mix but its the aftermath with the unpredictable side effects that scares me. I think all GP'ers who have to endure weekly clean outs can agree! I thought I have seen it all but there is always a new side effect from enduring this nasty stuff that seizes to amaze me. Its smarter and much safer to have someone with you. Doing any treatment home alone is like playing Russian Roulette.

The sun is slowly trying to find its way back out but the ground is still a muddy mess. The poor fur kids really need their exercise but the only kind they get right now is being walked across the street. I was going to let them outside in the backyard but my friend went to check on the ground and said it was still too muddy. Thanks but no thanks, I will pass on cleaning up any huge messes today since I am already tired.

Honestly I didn't do too much today because I was still trying to wake up my tired body. At least I was able to touch up my gray hairs that Mr. Gastroparesis gives me (of what hair I still have left on my head) then finished up a few loads of wash, cleaned the bathroom and kitchen sink. My friend was also exhausted since he had to go straight from work at 7am to take his son to school then run to the post office and do a few other errands. By the time he got back to the house it was 10:30am. This evening as I was brushing PreciousKitty I looked over to see him passed out on the recliner. That makes two seeing once I was finished grooming Precious she too was out like a light! Hahahaha!

We were going to do a holiday activity this evening and go see some outdoor light displays but the closest we got to seeing lights was in the living room and on the trees, hahahaha! I gave up around 10pm and headed back to my couchbed. Its an early night for me and Littleblue. Hopefully we will find some energy tomorrow but for now its going to be a sleepy weekend...

Posted by GastroparesisAwarenessCampaignOrg. at 11:22 AM EST

Updated: December 10, 2011 1:54 AM EST

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Mood:  silly

HO! HO! HO! MERRY DRANO!!!!

Talking about a gift that keeps on giving, hahahahaha!

After a great night of sleep that went into the early afternoon at 3pm my pharmacy called to let me know they got the rest of the Drano in today. WHOAHOA! My friend wanted to head out anyways to find a New Years Eve outfit. Just 'in case' my GP wants to be on the nice list for the holidays he will have something to wear. If you wait until after Xmas to find an outfit then you might as well forget it! I remember being in my 20's and waiting until after Christmas to find a New Years dress and it was always slim pickings. Now I am much older and wiser. BUY NOW!

Once we got to the pharmacy I only needed to say my name then everyone working behind the counter stopped and looked up at me. Seems I am a very "rare breed." A "Drano Breed!" Of course me and my friend were chuckling and making light of the Drano situation because obviously seven jugs wouldn't be in the little plastic shelves where other prescriptions in alphabetical order were stored. Mine was on the floor. All three extra large bags worth! I love when the person who waits on me gets my order then everyone tends to also get very quiet. This leaves me open room to make all sorts of jokes. Today was no exception. Although I take my treatments very seriously because what I am drinking on a weekly basis is very toxic you still though in my opinion have to find some sort of humor. I believe it keeps one sain. AMEN.

I told my friend to smile on the way out and pose next to their GP car magnet that says, "Gastroparesis & Food Kills." Maybe instead I should design a magnet with a huge jug on it saying, "Drano & Gastroparesis Kills." Once we placed all the bags in the back of his car we barely had any room left. Like I mentioned before, surely they can find alternatives to a jug of chlorinated sodium water to flush your intestines out. Maybe in a chocolate bar with a kick?! At least it would finally rid any and all chocolate cravings I have, hahahaha! Could you imagine? Well anything is possible to me lately.

Luckily all the stores have plenty of menswear left for the holiday season. My friend got very lucky in finding some great deals on men's dress pants and tuxedo shirts with the tie and sash. Because of his height at least the pants he found ran a bit too long to start with so they fit perfectly. I have a good eye when it comes to fashion but do miss all the nice clothes I used to be able to wear. I think in general I just miss working. Gastroparesis life is not for the faint of heart. Its also not for those who have to give up the life they once knew for a ever changing lifestyle. Mine has yet to stop changing. Anymore I just go with the flow. I have finally learned after eight years there isn't anything nor anyone worth stressing over. Instead I now focus that energy on finding some sort of balance between sleep, treatments and continuing to enjoy the best life this gal can. I now lay my head down at night being content with any little accomplishments I have achieved for the day. I always enjoyed setting goals for myself. Now I am learning to set new goals even while being sick. Its tricky and challenging but it can be done.

This evening I decided to try a new recipe and make some gingerbread cookies. Thank goodness I was never much on cookies especially gingerbread or gingersnap. I don't need any temptations around the house right now being already a few days behind treatment. I am still passing last treatment at a snails pace. I am aiming for this weekend but taking it one day at a time. The cookies turned out really good but the best part is the house now smells AMAZING! Maybe I need to buy a gingerbread scented candle? I am starting to like gingerbread. Its not so bad after all. Well...I better put these gingerbread guys on a plate before they magically disappear...Not by the elves either...

Posted by GastroparesisAwarenessCampaignOrg. at 11:40 PM EST

Updated: December 9, 2011 4:41 AM EST

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Mood:  d'oh

Thank goodness for getting lots of sleep lately because I can't say the same for last night or this afternoon. I had some wicked nausea and intestinal pain. I did nothing but toss and turn all night. Sure, I need to really do treatment later this afternoon but with the burning and pressure pain it might not be such a good idea. When I am not feeling well on treatment day I tend to go with my instincts. My friend is really good at giving his opinion too!

So after taking a shower and trying to ease up the pressure pain we headed out. I called up Walgreen's ahead of time to check on my refill however they were only able to give me one jug of dynamite. I need to call ahead three days in advance because my prescription refills are for 8 jugs of Drano at a time. I know! Totally crazy! Also unheard of because no matter who is working behind the pharmacy counter like today they look at me as if to say, "HOLY COW LADY!"

NO! More like, "HOLY DRANO!" HAHAHAHA!

So...after only being able to get one jug filled today of toxic poison I decided that it just might be a good idea to hold off on treatment today. I will also need to pick up my other 7 jugs of dynamite tomorrow. Its always funny to watch reactions from others although me and my friend are only the ones laughing. Life is just too darn short to not find humor each and every day. Even if the laugh is on me, hahahaha! Maybe also on others as I bought a fake roll of toilet paper over the weekend. It actually looks like a real roll of toilet paper but it doesn't tear instead you can try to bend, pull and tug but it won't rip, hahahaha! OH IT WAS TOO FUNNY! I got a few people so far. Just call it my sick bathroom humor but heck! since I spend so much time in there why not? Hahahahaha!

After we left Walgreen's it was time to walk the mall. Maybe it might help ease up all this bloating and pain. "A" for effort anyways but at least we did make it through the entire mall. I even found a really unique dress for New Years Eve! I am determined as ever this year to go out, even if only for a few hours. I am so tired of my Idiopathic Gastroparesis controlling my life that this time that I am more determined than ever to ring in the New Year and not on my couchbed. AMEN!

Once we got back home I headed to the ole couchbed and plugged in my heating pad. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day seeing I really need to get on some sort of normal schedule with these treatments but if anything the ole jugs of dynamite aren't going anywhere. When I wake up tomorrow I am sure they will still be there waiting for me...

Posted by GastroparesisAwarenessCampaignOrg. at 11:59 AM EST

Updated: December 8, 2011 3:18 AM EST

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Mood:  happy

WHOAHOA! We are all back on dry land today!

This was of course after waking up at 3pm. Thank goodness Littleblue is our new alarm clock and howls when she needs to go outside because if not I could literally sleep all day. This body is beat but I still must remember to keep moving because gravity is the only thing I got left on my side. I assume if I wanted to just lay my cards down I could easily do so but I don't see that happening anytime soon.

Once my friend woke up they were one step ahead and made sure to check on the basement for any more leaks or standing water. So far so good! The weatherman was WAY OFF today with the forecast. So much for partly cloudy skies. Instead we added a third day of rain, rain and more rain. It might take us a month to dry out. Where the heck is the snow? My friend said, "I could just stay home all day." Me? I can only handle so much being stuck in my house-jail and I was determined to get out! I don't have the luxury to lay around and watch TV all day unless I want to end up right back at the hospital. NO THANKS!

We had a birthday this week at the house. It was Oreo's 13th birthday! To me he will always be my puppy. Oreo is such a affectionate fur kid and is also very generous especially when it comes to his birthday gifts. Seems it must be a Husky thing with Littleblue. What's his is hers and what's hers....Is hers! Hahahaha! Oreo got all sorts of new toys, treats and a sporty blue collar. What's a birthday when you can't share it with the rest of the gang? Even those who were a bit stingy...Like Littleblue, heeheeheehee!

Once I talked my friend into going out to run a few errands and get some groceries we headed out the door. My friend takes their dinner-breakfast to work seeing they are on third shift. They used to just buy something but he even admitted having home cooked meals to take is not only cheaper but he feels healthier. I love cooking and don't mind making meals. Its fun to create new recipes or even tinker a bit with existing ones.

We did stop by my friends house so they could pick up their mail. To most people they have no idea what he gives up in order to stay at my house and help me during weekly treatments. I tend to think he deserves all the Christmas gifts this year and should be placed on top of Santa's SUPER NICE LIST! He did change from second to third shift so it does limit spending time with his son however if only I was healthier we could all do more activities together. Its a very sad situation but we tend not to dwell on things that are beyond our control. I just hope one day I can repay all the favors he has done for me. He has given up a lot in order to be here and help out around the house. Its a very selfless thing he is doing and if only others in this world could follow in his footsteps. Hopefully he can be an example for all. I told him this evening how much I appreciated everything he has done for me and most of the time without even asking. It takes a very strong person to accept a terminal condition and be around someone who has many limitations in their life. We find things to do around my disability and although sometimes it can be a challenge we never fail to find laughter.

Well off to figure out this new compact video camera my friend bought as an early Xmas gift. This way he said, "Now your family will always have happy memories of you to hold close to their heart."

 Touching...

Posted by GastroparesisAwarenessCampaignOrg. at 11:47 PM EST

Updated: December 8, 2011 3:24 AM EST

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Mood:  lyrical

Grab your oars! Its time to row, row, row the boat gently down the stairs...Turn around and bend back down there is water everywhere! HAHAHAHA! Darn, did I miss my calling being a sound writer years ago or what?

Maybe I should instead sing the song, "Rain, Rain Go Away, Come Again Another Day!" It has rained two days straight. The ground was already soaked so we sure didn't need more rain. I think snow would had been a heck of a lot safer and especially for those like us who live in older homes. Not to say newer homes aren't also having problems with cracked foundations due to all this rain. When it rains like this which is now twice so far this year I tend to worry. First concern of course is the basement. Second is making sure all the drains outside are clear of any leaves since we have lots of trees on the property. When I woke up around 3pm and my friend went downstairs to clean the litter pans out and empty the dehumidifier there was no water on the floor. When I got out of the shower around 4:30pm for some reason I decided to double check the basement. THANK GOODNESS! Once I made it to the last step I heard as if someone left the faucet on. AHOY MATE! WATER AHEAD!

No folks, that isn't someone peeing. Its water gushing out from a hole in the wall from pressure on the other side building up. YIKES! After experiencing a few problems with the ole sump pump last summer I have become a flood pro. No need to freak out but first find something for the water to go in besides the floor. Second start making some phone calls. Third make sure everyone puts their thinking caps on before we float away, hahahaha! After a few hours and lots of clean up I am happy to say for now we are back on dry land until the great hole in the wall mystery is solved. What a mess!

My friend did a wonderful job cleaning up the water as well keeping calm, cool and collective. The old me would had hit the fan and flipped out but nah! You can't freak out on things that are in the hands of Mother Nature. Let's just say I am sure we are not the only house on the street or block to have some issues with foundation problems or flooding in the basement. Hopefully we will have a very long dry spell. In the meantime we are utilizing fans and the dehumidifier to dry things up.

Once we finished and put our oars away I decided it might be a good time to shift focus. Why not start making the traditional holiday buckeye candies? GREAT IDEA! Not only is it a multi-step process but a wonderful way to shift focus on something more pleasant. Once I got all the bowls together I turned on holiday music and rolled away on the buckeyes. I make them every year. This might be the 9th year? Honestly I lost track. Its fun to make homemade goodies for others. I might not be able to personally enjoy them but I get the same satisfaction watching others enjoy my cooking. In fact I cook more now than before I got sick with Idiopathic Gastroparesis. Personally I enjoy the smells of the season and it doesn't always require having to eat. You can also find various holiday scented candles around my house. One has to be creative when life suddenly stops evolving around one important part of living which is eating food. This year so far I have made around sixty buckeyes which will be placed into individual holiday containers for family and friends. If I can't gain weight by golly hopefully someone else can for me. Might sound bad but I have done all I can to gain weight and failed. Keeping my weight safe not to go under 105 pounds is a huge feat but so far so good. With it being the flu season if anyone is sick I must be safe to wait until they are 100 percent better. Its just not worth my health nor being stuck in the hospital again for the holidays.

Day three after my Drano aka Hell-In-A-Jug treatment and I am feeling the exhaustion. With my friend having rotating days off with their job it might be safer to do my next treatment when they are home. This way when I get sick I won't be alone. I also feel safer with someone here. My specialists would completely agree! So looks like I will be consuming the second liquid dynamite in a jug Wednesday. Its important for me to get on some type of routine but its hard! Very hard! If any little things throws off the schedule then I have to hold off another day. Nuts planning my life out around a jug of poison isn't it?

Hopefully tomorrow will be a much drier day! I am SO READY to get out of my house-jail. AMEN!

Posted by GastroparesisAwarenessCampaignOrg. at 11:59 PM EST

Updated: December 6, 2011 1:31 AM EST

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Mood:  down

3:10pm and I finally woke up! If this keeps up I might not be getting to sleep till 7am and then waking up just long enough for an hour of sunlight, hahahaha! Not that my seizures wouldn't mind seeing excessive light will always remain one very strong trigger. My friend said they don't mind because they don't get home until 7:30am.

I am on the soon to be down side of Drano. I call the next day, "DRANO HANGOVER DAY." Nothing like waking up with a wicked headache and spending half of your sleep time in the bathroom. They make chemo available through an IV so why in the world they can't make this nasty toxic chlorine the same way is beyond me. Could you imagine having to drink chemo treatments? If you can't then I can. My doctors insist the poison I have to consume is worse because as they said, "You are literally consuming it." I dare not know the extent of damage I am enduring each week that might last the rest of my lifetime. Not to compare chemo to Drano seeing you can't because they are totally different although in both cases the object is to rid the bad out of your body but sadly both take away the good with it. GEES!

The Bengals played the Steelers today. The Bengals literally got walked on, maybe RAN OVER instead. Once I turned the TV on in the living room I could hear my friend also turn on their television. I laughed as I saw the score. It got awfully quiet in the house. I should had placed a bet on this game seeing hands down I would had won! Its not unusual every time our home team gets cocky they end up blowing it. Not the first nor the last. Of course I had to sport my Steelers hoodie all day. We even ran up to the local store so I could grab a few things. Needless to say no one said a word. Even those wearing their Bengals gear. I guess they saw the game today too! I am usually not one for sports but I like to tease my friend and its fun! We both like to taunt each other,hahahaha!

Instead of enduring the effects of Drano today I should had been on an evening flight to NYC. I was invited to be on a segment with Anderson Cooper's show on CNN. So life happens and some things only happen once in a lifetime. Sadly at the wrong time! They contacted me Saturday regarding my unique story. It would had been an honor to discuss my diet and for once put Gastroparesis right smack on the map and in the public eye. HOWEVER I couldn't promise I could make a flight in such short notice. I couldn't find anyone either on short notice to fly out with me. It would had been great to meet Anderson Cooper seeing I am a huge fan and love his shows on CNN. It would had been also nice to fly again and with it being an evening flight less than two hours it would had been a perfect time to beat my fear and face the sound of music. I honestly starting thinking of ways to make it to the studio deadline of 12:30pm Monday however it would be just way too much on my poor body. Even I have to set boundaries. With life being so short I asked my friend if maybe I would regret my decision in not going. He said, "I promise there will be other opportunties and when its the right one it will all work out." I am still a bit bummed. Its not every day when you get rare opportunities like this one but I am still honored that I was considered and my unique life was taken seriously.

So the rest of the day you can guess what I did and where I was at...Testing toilet paper, hahahahaha! Charmin is so old school isn't it? Hahahahaha!

Posted by GastroparesisAwarenessCampaignOrg. at 11:57 PM EST

Updated: December 5, 2011 3:41 AM EST

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Mood:  d'oh

DRANO DAY!!

Its the long overdue Drano aka Hell-In-A-Jug day. Although I can't stand drinking this foul stuff it sure beats ending back in the hospital with a partial or full obstruction. I did my best to sleep in today. I didn't get to bed until 5:30am. My sleep time seems to be between 5-6am. Yes, us VAMPIRES evolve around the seasons, hahahaha! I don't want to rely on pain medication in order to get rest. I have seen first hand living with someone who was addicted to pain medication what it can do. It literally changes a person and not for the best. Some say I might even be a bit scared of medication from seeing the consequences of those who abused the same drugs that should help me to live a higher quality of life. I don't feel like being another statistic to the problem of drug abuse. With my severe Gastroparesis pills just seem to sit in my intestines anyways so whats the point?

Thanks but no thanks.

Once I got up it was 3pm. My friend seems to also be on the same crazy sleep schedule seeing they were also just getting up. I should had started my treatment at 2pm but I can't predict my sleep anymore so I figured once I got up and started moving around I would get my jug of dynamite together. Tomorrow the Bengals play the Steelers-my favorite team so I decided to send them a bit of early luck by wearing my new hoodie. My friend despises the Steelers so let's just say they were not too happy with me wearing the team logo but its Drano day so sometimes you just have to let things slide, hahahaha!

Rain is on its way for later this evening and will continue through out the next few days. I sure wish it was snow! LOVE SNOW! Since I need to keep busy moving around during treatment we decided to put up some holiday lights outside as well my inflatable M&M character. Call me the "M&M Queen" but even the M&M queen gets tired of M&M's. Please no more! If I see one more M&M I will scream! It's important for me to keep my weight up and sugar dissolves but I can only handle so much candy. Even I am getting tired of chocolate. Its time to take a bit of a break and with me juicing my fruits and vegetables on a daily basis maybe I won't have to worry so much about coming off the chocolate. I am mixing a few things again in a cup of brew again with decaf coffee hoping maybe it might work but so far no luck. I don't mind drinking the decaf coffee though seeing I use Smartwater not tap water. It does help keep me hydrated. While I was enjoying my last glass of Drano my friend got the rest of the lights together which ended up being the last thing on the holiday "to do" list.

WHOAHOA! THREE WEEKS OF NOW RELAXING!

Now we can both sit back and take in the holiday season and maybe some festivities. I have yet to go see the Holiday In Lights show at our local Zoo. The last time I went was when I first got diagnosed with my Gastroparesis. Maybe now we can take our time and get out to enjoy some Christmas activities. The only thing left is finishing up some holiday cards and making the traditional candy buckeyes for family and friends. Its so nice having help around the holidays! It sure made things a million times less stressful too! AMEN!

Posted by GastroparesisAwarenessCampaignOrg. at 11:59 PM EST

Updated: December 5, 2011 2:45 AM EST

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Mood:  d'oh

What a crazy sleep pattern I am on lately! I can't sleep then when I do go to sleep I can't get up. My body is all out of whack and the darn vomiting is also driving me nuts. Its now a mandatory part of going to bed routine placing peppermint oil on a piece of paper towel on my cart. This allows the smell to be right next to me on the couch bed. My friend said they came in this morning and when he went to check on me since Mr. Puke pan was back out he couldn't tell if I was breathing or not.

YIKES!

He said my breathing is so shallow when I am sleeping that it scares him sometimes so he makes sure to check and see how I am doing before he goes to sleep. This morning when he got in a 9am he did the exact same thing and sure enough I was breathing shallow so with that being said we both agreed to hold off another day on the darn Drano seeing it already affects your cardiac rhythm and with my blood pressure running low it might be safer to hold off. This is of course ANOTHER DAY and trust me my intestines are screaming for mercy too!

This evening I decided to hit a few stores getting the last of my Xmas gifts. I went to one side of town with a family member and my friend went to the other side of town, hahahaha! This way we don't run into each other in case someone is buying the other one a gift but I don't care for Kohl's and he was heading there first. I prefer JcPenney's so I guess we can say I just plugged another free blog advertisement, hahahaha! The sales this year they had online were incredible for JcPenney's while Kohl's was the same sales they always have going on. Since I checked out things online last night we only spent an hour there then headed to the mall right down the street so I could try to find a holiday dress or outfit. My clothes from last year don't fit anymore. I only have the one size 1 jeans that do fit and I found a size 0 today but darn they fit odd. At least I did have some luck and found a really cute skirt and sweater in a size small-juniors department. Its tough finding clothes that fit. Its not easy when your small and sure isn't when your heavy either. I have seen both sides of the scale in my lifetime. One isn't any easier than the other, that's for sure!

Once we got back my friend already beat us home. He was watching a movie and eating a french bread pizza. YUM!!!! DARNIT! I am mentally hungry but I know better with all this nausea and vomiting. Instead I chose to drink a watered down Slimfast and a small cookie. Healthy huh?! I figure I will have to down the ole Drano first thing tomorrow so heck with it! Either the cookie will come back up later or I flush it out tomorrow. One way or another by golly I will at least enjoy the taste of a small cookie.

BearKitty is my pillow buddy. Littleblue is my sleeping buddy but she likes to sleep keeping my feet warm. Crystalblue would do the exact same thing. They are like my second shadow. Its nice waking up to the fur kids watching over me. SantaPaws will surely be extra nice to them this year. They already got a few gifts under their tree. Just like kids, they know when its Christmas! This evening I wrapped up the last of the gifts. Thank you LadyGaga. How nice was she to do that?! Heeheeheehee!

Well off to wrap then r e l a x for this gal...CHEERS!

Posted by GastroparesisAwarenessCampaignOrg. at 11:59 PM EST

Updated: December 3, 2011 4:51 AM EST

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Mood:  incredulous

What a busy, busy day! No time for anymore teeth to fall out although if any did I would just gum my way through the day, hahahaha!

I got up the usual time around 2:30pm. This was after going to bed at 5:45am due from a not so bright idea consuming a bit of my friends rice. DUH! Do I ever learn? I wasn't too happy getting Mr. Puke pan back out but until I put my head on straight maybe one day I will learn. Heck with the darn Slimfast way of life and honestly since they changed formula the new stuff tastes nasty, gritty and just like Boost or Ensure. Now I have to water it down seeing its too thick of a consistency and makes me nauseated. They also changed from cans to this sleek new plastic bottle. Now it only stays cold for around 10 minutes compared to when it was in a can you could promise yourself at least an hour. Things could be worse though...They could discontinue the entire line, YIKES! I got a free coupon for any variety so I am going to try the ole powder high protein Slimfast in a blender again. Keep you posted on the results!

With it being a day full of errands I forgot to get my tests repeated for kidney function. GEES! I guess I will have to call my doctors office tomorrow although at this point why do I need to know about more organs not working properly? In my mind, "It Is What It Is" so why bother? I assume I will leave that up to my doctors but will explain my concern seeing my teeth, vomiting and running behind on the Drano treatments is already enough for me to worry about. Amen. Personal issues at home, can't forget that one too!

When life gets too stressful its a must to clear your mind and escape house-jail for awhile and today was the day! My friend had quite a few things to do as well finish up some holiday shopping. I also had a list of errands to run so we made it a team event. A very successful team because by the time we got back home he had just enough time to unwind for a bit, eat dinner, take a shower, get dressed then he head back to babysit the bad guys again down at the jail. What did I do this evening? Wrapped more gifts while Littleblue took a nap, wrote out bills, got holiday cards together and then finished some wash.

What I would had "liked" to do before I got my couchbed together this evening was treat myself to one of the gifts. All 5 pounds worth! Hahahaha! I don't call this a "WHITMAN'S SAMPLER" I call it my next ER visit waiting to happen!

OK. I did wrap it and placed it under the tree but boy oh boy! was it TEMPTING! Could you imagine the story to the ER doctors and my Gastroenterologist?! "Yes, I was going to give the 5 pound box of candy away as a Christmas gift. It was my every intention but instead I had an attack then POOF! here I am at the hospital waiting to have my stomach pumped!" Maybe I could just blame it on PMS? Hahahaha! It sounded good anyways...

Off to brush my teeth and get my Hell-In-A-Jug ingredients together for tomorrow. Its going to literally be the start of a DYNAMITE WEEKEND! CHEERS!

Posted by GastroparesisAwarenessCampaignOrg. at 11:59 PM EST

Updated: December 2, 2011 4:24 AM EST

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Mood:  chillin'

It was one of those days when I had a little bit of this and a little bit of that on my schedule. What I SHOULD had was my treatment! Now I am once again another day behind. GEES! I had every intention to start my Hell-In-A-Jug at 2pm today but guess what? Life called and said, "Sorry but I am the driver today. Things will just have to wait." So at 9:30am the doorbell rang. Seems the delivery drivers for the new refrigerator were four hours ahead of schedule. YIKES! Talking about not being prepared seeing nothing was emptied out of the old refrigerator yet so me and my friend were both half out of it still trying to rush getting things together. Even the fur gang were confused being woke up at the crack of dawn. They are used to our sleep schedule now so they were a bit cranky, heeheeheehee!

I must admit though it sure feels great to have the old refrigerator out of the house and this nice new one in its place! The new one is a bit larger than the old one so plenty of room. With the other one starting to go out and over heating it had me nervous in fear it would catch on fire/ Thank goodness I have one less thing to worry about now on my already full plate. Thank you Hugh for getting the new refrigerator super fast! We truly appreciate it! Once me and my friend reorganized the freezer and changed around the shelves we loaded the rest of the groceries back in and then headed to sleep.

When I woke back up it was 2:30pm. My friend is almost on the same sleeping schedule as I am but he works third shift so any extra sleep he can get is always a good thing! I was going to maybe attempt the ole Drano but after the dental work yesterday it left me with a very sore mouth and red gums. Add some super strength liquid chlorinated salt water to the mix and you can forget it! No way is it worth risking additional infections and my friend agree by saying, "I think it is safer to wait at least a day to allow things to calm back down before placing more trauma to your body."

I couldn't agree with him more.

The past week I haven't endured too much intestinal pain but heck! I don't feel nerves in my teeth or spine anymore either so I shouldn't be too shocked that maybe other nerves are already dead or dying. Its part of the progression with Gastroparesis. No organ is ever safe. Amen! I am still dealing with the nausea but not as frequent with the vomiting. I only assume that is because I am forgetting to take in enough meal supplement drinks the past few days. The stress with my ex moving out and leaving me high and dry isn't helping matters but I am doing the best I can to keep my head above water. I worry more about the poor fur kids. The kittygang will be staying with me at the house that they have lived at for the past 8 years . He won't allow me to keep Oreo and Littleblue here all the time and wants to have them three days out of the week. To me it just isn't a good idea seeing Oreo will be 13 years old next month and the stress could kill him. Littleblue is still young and only three years old but is used to sleeping with Bearkitty by her side. The transition of going back and forth isn't healthy for humans whether alone fur kids that need stability. Try to reason with someone who wasn't even going to give me a month notice and just bail out on me in two weeks?...Might as well forget it. The stress that I know they will go through is already stressing me the heck out and I sure don't need that with my Idiopathic Gastroparesis complications I am experiencing.

I think it should be made mandatory that anyone who wants to just try and up leave a marriage should have to by law file for divorce. This way there isn't unnecessary stress involved on anyone. Especially those who are sick. Amen. If someone can easily walk away from a marriage then they can easily walk into a court house and file for divorce. In my personal opinion there is just no excuse unless you can't work and are permanently disabled. If the shoe was on the other foot and I was the one pulling the same thing I surely wouldn't put my animal kids through stress by taking them away from their surroundings. I have no problem with my ex visiting or taking them for the day but when it comes to staying over its just not healthy and way too confusing for them. They are used to home not being shoveled back and forth from one house to another.

If you are reading this and have human kids then consider my fur kids the same. My medical condition took away my ability to have children of my own. My fur gang are my kids and I treat them as such. I can't help my intestines strangled the rest of my reproductive organs. I would have been just as great as a Mom to human children as I am to the fur gang. Life just sure isn't fair sometimes is it?

My niece will finely be home with her newborn son Braylen Thursday. I am sure she can't wait to get out of the hospital seeing its no place to get any sleep. Hopefully she will have help with the baby so she can catch up on some rest. He sure does have lots of hair although we are known to be the hair family. I just lost most of mine one jug at a time, hahahahaha!

I have been doing a bit better this time around with the birth of the newest member of the family. Much better than last time seeing it sunk me into baby depression all over again. Its still hard though and I have had more than my fair share of times holding back the tears of just losing it. I still have a huge void in my heart not being able to have children of my own. That void never goes away because majority of society has children. They have families. I don't but I have my fur kids and I love them just the same. I do fine with older children but when it comes to newborns FORGET IT! I freak out and want to run for the hills! Call it protecting my feelings and I don't feel like dancing back into a deep baby depression again although its very easy to do so. I can handle my medical condition seeing I didn't ask to be sick and it wasn't by my hands. It was though my choice years ago to not have children and wait. For that I consider it my fault because there were ways for me to have children by either IVF or adoption. I waited far too late and I got worse with my Idiopathic Gastroparesis. I blame myself.however I would never blame myself for being sick. I didn't choose to have paralyzed organs. It just happened.

So this evening instead of allowing the stress from everything win me over I decided instead to turn on my favorite holiday CD and wrap some Christmas gifts to put under the tree. So I might not have children to help me but the fur kids sure didn't mind. They were great company as each of them took a spot near Mom on the couch. Some things even my condition can't take away. Amen.

“One of the truest tests of integrity is its blunt refusal to be compromised.”

Posted by GastroparesisAwarenessCampaignOrg. at 11:59 PM EST

Updated: December 1, 2011 5:39 AM EST

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