Mood:  chillin'

It was one of those days when I had a little bit of this and a little bit of that on my schedule. What I SHOULD had was my treatment! Now I am once again another day behind. GEES! I had every intention to start my Hell-In-A-Jug at 2pm today but guess what? Life called and said, "Sorry but I am the driver today. Things will just have to wait." So at 9:30am the doorbell rang. Seems the delivery drivers for the new refrigerator were four hours ahead of schedule. YIKES! Talking about not being prepared seeing nothing was emptied out of the old refrigerator yet so me and my friend were both half out of it still trying to rush getting things together. Even the fur gang were confused being woke up at the crack of dawn. They are used to our sleep schedule now so they were a bit cranky, heeheeheehee!

I must admit though it sure feels great to have the old refrigerator out of the house and this nice new one in its place! The new one is a bit larger than the old one so plenty of room. With the other one starting to go out and over heating it had me nervous in fear it would catch on fire/ Thank goodness I have one less thing to worry about now on my already full plate. Thank you Hugh for getting the new refrigerator super fast! We truly appreciate it! Once me and my friend reorganized the freezer and changed around the shelves we loaded the rest of the groceries back in and then headed to sleep.

When I woke back up it was 2:30pm. My friend is almost on the same sleeping schedule as I am but he works third shift so any extra sleep he can get is always a good thing! I was going to maybe attempt the ole Drano but after the dental work yesterday it left me with a very sore mouth and red gums. Add some super strength liquid chlorinated salt water to the mix and you can forget it! No way is it worth risking additional infections and my friend agree by saying, "I think it is safer to wait at least a day to allow things to calm back down before placing more trauma to your body."

I couldn't agree with him more.

The past week I haven't endured too much intestinal pain but heck! I don't feel nerves in my teeth or spine anymore either so I shouldn't be too shocked that maybe other nerves are already dead or dying. Its part of the progression with Gastroparesis. No organ is ever safe. Amen! I am still dealing with the nausea but not as frequent with the vomiting. I only assume that is because I am forgetting to take in enough meal supplement drinks the past few days. The stress with my ex moving out and leaving me high and dry isn't helping matters but I am doing the best I can to keep my head above water. I worry more about the poor fur kids. The kittygang will be staying with me at the house that they have lived at for the past 8 years . He won't allow me to keep Oreo and Littleblue here all the time and wants to have them three days out of the week. To me it just isn't a good idea seeing Oreo will be 13 years old next month and the stress could kill him. Littleblue is still young and only three years old but is used to sleeping with Bearkitty by her side. The transition of going back and forth isn't healthy for humans whether alone fur kids that need stability. Try to reason with someone who wasn't even going to give me a month notice and just bail out on me in two weeks?...Might as well forget it. The stress that I know they will go through is already stressing me the heck out and I sure don't need that with my Idiopathic Gastroparesis complications I am experiencing.

I think it should be made mandatory that anyone who wants to just try and up leave a marriage should have to by law file for divorce. This way there isn't unnecessary stress involved on anyone. Especially those who are sick. Amen. If someone can easily walk away from a marriage then they can easily walk into a court house and file for divorce. In my personal opinion there is just no excuse unless you can't work and are permanently disabled. If the shoe was on the other foot and I was the one pulling the same thing I surely wouldn't put my animal kids through stress by taking them away from their surroundings. I have no problem with my ex visiting or taking them for the day but when it comes to staying over its just not healthy and way too confusing for them. They are used to home not being shoveled back and forth from one house to another.

If you are reading this and have human kids then consider my fur kids the same. My medical condition took away my ability to have children of my own. My fur gang are my kids and I treat them as such. I can't help my intestines strangled the rest of my reproductive organs. I would have been just as great as a Mom to human children as I am to the fur gang. Life just sure isn't fair sometimes is it?

My niece will finely be home with her newborn son Braylen Thursday. I am sure she can't wait to get out of the hospital seeing its no place to get any sleep. Hopefully she will have help with the baby so she can catch up on some rest. He sure does have lots of hair although we are known to be the hair family. I just lost most of mine one jug at a time, hahahahaha!

I have been doing a bit better this time around with the birth of the newest member of the family. Much better than last time seeing it sunk me into baby depression all over again. Its still hard though and I have had more than my fair share of times holding back the tears of just losing it. I still have a huge void in my heart not being able to have children of my own. That void never goes away because majority of society has children. They have families. I don't but I have my fur kids and I love them just the same. I do fine with older children but when it comes to newborns FORGET IT! I freak out and want to run for the hills! Call it protecting my feelings and I don't feel like dancing back into a deep baby depression again although its very easy to do so. I can handle my medical condition seeing I didn't ask to be sick and it wasn't by my hands. It was though my choice years ago to not have children and wait. For that I consider it my fault because there were ways for me to have children by either IVF or adoption. I waited far too late and I got worse with my Idiopathic Gastroparesis. I blame myself.however I would never blame myself for being sick. I didn't choose to have paralyzed organs. It just happened.

So this evening instead of allowing the stress from everything win me over I decided instead to turn on my favorite holiday CD and wrap some Christmas gifts to put under the tree. So I might not have children to help me but the fur kids sure didn't mind. They were great company as each of them took a spot near Mom on the couch. Some things even my condition can't take away. Amen.

“One of the truest tests of integrity is its blunt refusal to be compromised.”

Posted by GastroparesisAwarenessCampaignOrg. at 11:59 PM EST

Updated: December 1, 2011 5:39 AM EST

Share This Post

Post Comment | Permalink

Mood:  celebratory

Guess what it did today?

IT SNOWED!!!!

Yes, snow...beautiful snow...wonderful snow...I LOVE THE SNOW!

I also call it Angel kisses from heaven when they gently land on your face. So maybe it wasn't a good day but it ended on a beautiful note being lucky enough to see our first snow of the season.

The new refrigerator was to arrive today between 12-3pm. I had to head back to the dentist and leave the house by 3:30pm. I set my cell phone alarm although I was up before it went off. There was a voicemail from the delivery driver that they would be at the house by 1pm. That however turned into 2:30pm. Darnit! That could had been a few extra hours of sleep but I did need to take a shower before my dentist appointment seeing me and my friend had lots of errands to run today. Once we both got up and took care of the usual house chores the delivery drivers were at the door but once they came inside the house to set up the new refrigerator it was too wide. Gees! Three inches too wide actually seeing it would stick out pretty far and would be easy to walk right into it on your way to the bathroom or back bedrooms. Looks like another one will be delivered again tomorrow. We made sure to unplug the old refrigerator before leaving the house seeing the fan near the compressor doesn't work anymore.

As my friend was finishing up giving the delivery driver some information I finished getting ready. This included having to run the vacuum again seeing my hair is still coming out. Not only do I have to vacuum once I put leave in condition on but as well after blow drying and styling it. I tend to think I have more hair on the floor than on my head lately. Its tempting to just be done with it but I guess I am holding on a bit longer. If I am to donate it I might as well forget it seeing if I continue waiting there won't be any hair left to donate. Pretty sad when I went to get a new thing of hair styling creme at my local hair salon and one of the hairdressers stops me to let me know about a new hair product for thinning hair. SIGH...I guess it is pretty noticeable now. Once I got back to the car I told my friend what the woman said to me. I am very close to "WIG TIME!" At least I can be that SPICY REDHEAD for Christmas after all, heeheeheeheehee! Between my Idiopathic Gastroparesis and constant damage from the ole Drano treatments it was bound to happen. Sooner now than later.

At least we were able to cross off one errand on the way to my dentist's office. Right on time at 4pm and they were on time too! No need to introduce me to anyone who works there anymore seeing they now know me by name. I told my dentist, "I am here so much maybe we all should had drawn names for Christmas gifts, hahahaha!" One has to always find humor in every day life with a terminal condition. Laughter is very important and my dentist always takes part in the humor. He makes all the dental work at least a bit more tolerable and we always have joke exchanges. Soon I might find myself a VIP parking spot. Why not? I earned it! So it was the same ole song and dance. I won't bore you once again on details but let's just say not only did my one tooth just start breaking apart but I had more decay going on that wasn't there before. DARN DRANO! It is still eating away at my enamel and obviously it doesn't plan on stopping. All the juicing of fruits and vegetables are also staining the heck out of my teeth which doesn't help matters but as my dentist agreed with me by saying, "What can you do? It's part of your medical condition." Its a shame my teeth are being destroyed and its now a constant battle saving them but at least I have one amazing dentist determined to be there for me every step of the way.

So after a few hours I once again got my poor suffering teeth rebuilt and they scheduled me in at the first of the year to take care of a few other problems. At least I get a small break from dental work. Amen! I said goodbye to everyone and wished them "Happy Holidays" hoping to not see them again until next year. Trust me I didn't cross my fingers or knock on any wood on the way out either, hahahaha! My friend once again was very patient with me in the waiting room. Its just part of my crazy life and he realizes its not my fault I am sick but at the same time never complains. Support is critically important in my unique situation! Sadly I am limited and don't have enough.

By the time we left the dentists office it was 6pm and already dark outside. There was still a few more stops to make on the way home. It didn't matter I couldn't talk right or my mouth was swollen. I have been through worse and learned to turn off that care button today not being concerned what others think. I did have a few stares but who cares. Need I really explain why my mouth was swollen to everyone? Is it really their business? No and no again. I am good with wearing the old horse blinds out in public. I guess I have learned quickly months ago when I had to start using the cane. If I have issues now with what others think of me then I will have HUGE PROBLEMS when I have no hair or wheelchair bound. I have learned to check my ego at the door. It took awhile but I am finally there. If only I could change something else but that requires changing others and I am no Houdini. It would also require me to find the most expensive pair of binoculars but honestly I don't think that would do any good either. Sadly some are so far behind with my medical condition that when I look behind me I can't even see them anymore. Almost nine years is a very, very long time to catch up when others refused to accept ones condition from the get go. Even if you cut that time in half in order for them to catch up its still too late. Its asking for the impossible but that's where the word "acceptance" comes into play. You have to learn to put those feelings behind you. I am still learning and every day its been a learning process.

On our way home I had to stop to take in the first snowflakes of the season! HOW NEAT IS THAT?!! I think I am the only one I know who LOVES LOVES LOVES SNOW! Its so peaceful and beautiful falling down from Heaven. When it lands on your hair and face its like kisses from Angels. That is what I call the pretty white flakes. I paused as if life stood still and smiled. Its just what I needed to end the start of a bad week. Maybe even God knows we all could use a bit of happiness in our lives. To me its the things money can't buy.

Posted by GastroparesisAwarenessCampaignOrg. at 11:59 PM EST

Updated: November 30, 2011 3:26 AM EST

Share This Post

Post Comment | Permalink

Mood:  don't ask

So much for having a good start of the week! So much for sticking to some sort of routine today and doing my Hell-In-A-Jug treatment tomorrow. So much for the start of FINALLY having some sort of GREAT holiday season. All was well until...

BIGFOOT STOMPED ON MY HOLI&DAY!

Holi meaning holiday. Day meaning my entire flippin day!

My day from hell literally started at 8:15am when the electric went off and scared the bejeepers out of me seeing I sleep with a fan on high-of course aiming against me and the sound machine set on white noise. Consider it a cross between a really bad snow storm that met an jet taking off the runway. Hahahahaha! Yes! enough to wake anyone up! My friend was home and trying to figure out why the bathroom lights weren't working but I knew the electric had went off so I headed down to the basement seeing now the sump pump backup system alarm was going off. Talking about LOUD! We both got the flashlight out while trying to figure out why the Watchdog alarm on the pump was still beeping. The back up pump wasn't working either so a flooded basement was soon on its way. I went upstairs to call the electric company and they said it could be up to 11am before repairs in my area were completed. I headed back downstairs where my friend was listening to see if the back up pump would work then finally some good news! The electric came back on and the main system started working again! THANK GOODNESS! So one thing to do: Get the sump pump rechecked.

Second problem started this weekend when we both noticed as well my ex-roommate-spouse that the refrigerator was running hot. Of course my ex couldn't tell me this instead me and my friend-caregiver/helper found out the hard way by burning our fingers while attempting to open the refrigerator door. If you touch the surface near the handles its very hot! Hmmmm....My Dad came over to look at it last night and said the fan isn't working on the compressor. GEES! Talking about not so good luck! While the electric was off it did cool the coils but once it came back on it was a matter of five minutes before it started running hot again. Looks like a new refrigerator will soon be in the picture this week! I wonder if Santa will have the elves take it through the chimney or door? Heeheeheeheehee! With all the rain I assume they can just use some water skis to bring it into the house.

Third issue was after we both finally decided to get some sleep which only lasted for a few hours someone rang the doorbell then knocked the rang the doorbell then knocked again. FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! We both pretended not to hear it but obviously this person wasn't going anywhere so my friend got up to answer the door. Standing with a piece of mail was a very angry postal woman delivery driver. She not only went off on him but did so for around fifteen minutes! Seems after eight years of delivering the wrong mail over and over again as well spending time on her personal cell phone while delivering mail not only did we complain but others must had did the same. Boy was she one angry postal employee! You know that saying, "GOING POSTAL?!" This lady literally gave it a whole new meaning. Between my friend just getting home from work at 7:30am and dealing with the electric being out we were both half out of it. Luckily I was laying on my couchbed right next to the door he had open as the post office delivery driver went on and on about how she has to redeliver mail that says, "Wrong address. Please pay closer attention, etc." When someone delivers mail to the wrong addresses over eight years it gets old. I guess others felt the same way especially when a driver delivered the same piece of mail to the wrong address twice in three days. She took ever bit of anger inside her out on my friend who by the way is a deputy sheriff. Good thing he got the door because my new birthday resolutions might had went right out the door. Trust me by saying, "Mrs. Postal Post Delivery driver, I have far more things in life to be angry or bitter about than someone calling to say you keep delivering the wrong mail." The biggest mistake was taking out anger on a customer. The second mistake was on a sheriff.

Fourth part of Monday from hell? Spending two hours on the phone with various divisions of the United States Post Office. Me and my friend had to repeat the crazy Postal Post delivery driver story over and over and over and over again. I doubt once she cooled off she regretted doing something so outrageous! Remember as one of the local inspectors said on the phone, "The postal service is so in the hole right now it would take a lot to pull someone off a route or fire them. Regardless if what she did was shocking."

Hmmmmmmmm.......And I thought as customers our mail should be handled with care and safely delivered. YIKES!

So we ended that part of hell day up in the air. Who knows what will happen to the crazy delivery driver but I can tell you one thing, according to her branch Supervisor, "If you don't want her to deliver your mail anymore after the menacing and threats you will have to get a P.O. box because we won't be pulling her off the route. It's a sonority thing." SAY WHAT?!?! This is the same woman who is afraid of sunflowers with bees in them so they had to be cut back years ago as well was afraid to leave a package on the porch because the dogs were behind the door with it locked. She also assumed a white zombie man dressed up for Halloween was actually her! YES! Now you see what I mean by saying, "I have seen the best and worst in people over the years. Mostly the worst." I sure hope I don't end up checking my mail anytime soon and it comes out and cuts me as I reach in to grab it! Hahahahaha!

Ok. Last and final part of my Monday from hell...

I am not "told" but overheard my ex-roommate-spouse saying he was moving to a house. I actually confronted my ex-spouse-roommate regarding the overheard conversation that later was told to me by someone else. Yes, he is moving and only gave me a two week notice. Seems instead of taking money he has that should be spent filing for divorce after I tried on five occasions and on SSD and permanently disabled I can't afford $4,500-$8,000 on filing he decided to go ahead and put it towards a rent-lease to own property. More like had it planned obviously for quite sometime because once I questioned the information which I found out was true I was told he's just waiting till the last of updates are finished. He will be moving out and into his new home in two weeks. UPDATE: He now said he will be moving January 1st seeing he doesn't want to pay for two places at once so why not stick it to me a month later instead? SURE! WHY NOT?!

SAY WHAT??????!!!!!!!!!

Have we come to a day and age where one seeks fun doing hurtful things over and over again to those who are sick? Since when is it OK for someone to play judge on their own? Instead of filing for divorce he decided to instead spend the money on a new home and furniture to fill it. Leaving me SOL/high and dry. My friend moving into the house was just a "temp" basis not a permanent thing. Now I am not only stressed by being sick, teeth coming out, treatments making me worse but the cherry on top is a boot up my you know what from my ex-spouse-roommate.

Here we are again folks. Another battle for this gal to endure on her own. Don't you just love being on egg shells while walking on nails? I don't understand how life can throw me more BS but guess what? IT DID! So much for any sleep and relaxing. Now I must find a way to cool my jets down and go back to square one-survival. I assume most would say if I can fight for my life over eight years while doing it alone I can surely take on this next battle. You are right but for crying out loud! I am sick & tired of all these never ending battles. Can't anything ever come easy for once? (I am starting to sound like Charlie Brown.)

So this evening as me and my friend put our thinking caps on I told him, "Hey look! I am looking around the room as I face my next great fight and I don't see anyone. Where is all my support? Where is all the help? Why do I feel no one cares and I am always fighting alone? Where's my backbone?" He looked at me and smiled then said, "Here I am and here we are. Me and the fur gang will help you. We will never leave you." I smiled and said, "Thank you." I don't know where I would be or what I would do without his help and my fur kids." LOST or maybe GONE.

Later this evening as I "tried" to express my feelings as advised by my specialists to someone on the phone (seeing GP and stress is like fuel to fire) I was only told, "There are people in life going through far worse than what you are going through." WRONG THING TO SAY. I am not sure why anyone uses that analogy anymore? No one wants to hear that. They want feedback and help. Not feel as if they are being belittled for something they didn't do. Like being hurt...again. Please! If you find that person or person(s) could you please have them give me a call? At least maybe then we can compare notes and help each other. I was also told I haven't been that sick...well as sick as I am now the almost entire nine years. UMMMM...Last time I looked I have YET to get a break from BEING SICK. Wrong thing to say #2. Once again I found myself helpless and not getting support until my cell phone messenger went off and I read a message from my dear friend Kevin. "Sometimes in life you just have to learn not to let things get to you. You have to switch that don't care switch on and say FORGET IT and move on." Focus on helping yourself because sadly in this day and age most people won't do the same for you." AMEN.

I end this day when BIGFOOT STOMPED ON MY HOLI&DAY with at least a brighter note. 

Life doesn't stop. Life keeps moving. Sadly some will breathe their last breath of life and some will breathe in their first. Remember to treat others as they would do unto you. People don't need help when they are dying. They need help while they are living. Life is short and no matter how much crap is put on your plate learn to look past it. You can't change how people act but you can change how you react. Amen.

Welcome to the new world Braylen Michael! 10:41pm. 7 pounds 11 ounces and 21 inches. You sure made your great Aunt smile today and for that I thank you!

Posted by GastroparesisAwarenessCampaignOrg. at 11:59 PM EST

Updated: November 29, 2011 1:43 AM EST

Share This Post

Post Comment | Permalink

Mood:  lyrical

What do you get with rain, rain and more rain? A great day to sleep!

I have been doing my best to self-motivate with the change in season but its tough. Lately I have to set cell phone alarm reminders just to make sure I take in extra fluids and walk since gravity will always be my best friend. Ten hours of sleep last night was enough although I could had used a few more. Maybe this coming week after my dentist appointment and treatment Tuesday I can catch a few extra zzz's. Well that's in between getting the oil changed in my car and having the refrigerator checked out seeing the fan doesn't seem to be working properly thus its running a bit hot. Looks like this might be a busy week ahead for this gal. Sadly not one for relaxing and taking it easy.

No puking today but lots of nausea. I accidentally put a bit TOO MUCH peppermint on a piece of cloth next to me last night before I went to sleep. Not only did it start bothering me but when my friend came home from work around 7:30am he said it was like walking into a wall of peppermint. Hahahaha! I literally woke up as if I was eating peppermint all night I could taste it. WOW! Is that peppermint oil strong but it did help ease up the nausea and also opened up my sinuses. I think it did the same for my friend too! Hahahaha!Now if I can only find some sort of dental superglue to hold my teeth together. Wouldn't that be nice and so much cheaper than dental procedures that will never, ever end. My friend said I should ask my dentist tomorrow about some sort of additional discount seeing the damage from the ole Hell-In-A-Jug aka Drano won't be stopping anytime soon because I have a lifetime of treatments ahead of me which means a lifetime of saving my teeth too! Surely since I am a VIP dental customer he can offer me some sort of discount plan. I guess I will find out tomorrow come drill time.

If only I could find a dental insurance company that would take me on but I might as well forget that seeing no one is going to cover me with the treatments I am enduring. AMEN. Amazing how the medical community and research companies can find drugs for more common serious conditions with less short or long term side effects but can't even find a medication besides liquid dynamite to flush the intestines out. GEES! I couldn't even find research online with the long term effects drinking this salt water nightmare. Once again it doesn't exist. I tend to think I am just in a category all my own.

So between the darn stuff causing hair loss and my teeth to literally fall out let's just say enough is enough but where to begin? Easier said than done. I have lately resorted back to picking up a few OTC-over the counter medications again hoping to mix this and a bit of that to ease up having to drink this stuff every week but so far no dice. No luck. Sometimes you just have to accept things the way they are and deal with them the best you can and I know exactly how to do it!

ENDING THE EVENING WITH A ROUND OF COUNTRY DANCE & THE MICHAEL JACKSON EXPERIENCE GAME ON Wii! WHOAHOA!

My friend was a bit apprehensive with me playing along tonight seeing within the first few dance rounds you could literally hear bone popping or doing something in my lower back-lumbar. Yes! I remember I have no discs left as well a few fractures but life is short and if I am to end up in a wheelchair sooner or later I might as well do it while enjoying myself. I would rather have it happen this way dancing myself there then it just "happening." I don't have much as far as nerves left so I don't feel the pain nor damage same with my teeth but I must remember it is happening. So there are a lot of things going on internally and some like my teeth externally in this crazy GP life of mine but if I am to go down at least I will go down laughing and smiling all the way! AMEN.

Don't walk too far away Mr. Cane. I will be seeing you soon. Like tomorrow! Hahahahaha!

Posted by GastroparesisAwarenessCampaignOrg. at 11:59 PM EST

Updated: November 28, 2011 2:44 AM EST

Share This Post

Post Comment | Permalink

Mood:  chillin'

It was another 11 hour night of sleep into the early afternoon for this gal. I woke up in a sweat seeing its not fall outside but instead spring all over again. Thanksgiving in April? Nah, its November but you would never know with all the flowers starting to bloom again. The grass is also starting to grow as it changes into a lush green.

TALKING ABOUT CONFUSING!

I thought I was the only one who didn't know if they were coming or going. Seems Mother Nature is not sure either. My friend said they were sweating all night too but how was I to know it would be over 70 degrees outside today while I still had the heat on? Hahahaha! The not so funny part is this is the perfect set up for all sorts of nasty viruses and germs. I don't need anything new to add to my full plate. I am still on numerous medications for the next few weeks. I choose to stay away from large crowds out in public for now.

Luckily my teeth are still hanging on-barely. I never did have any pain so my dentist as well other specialists were sure right in saying I have extensive nerve damage from my Idiopathic Gastroparesis. Now if only this darn Drano would quit making things worse. The only thing that will be smiling this holiday weekend is my Dad's birthday sugar-free pie I made him, hahahaha! Notice...it is also winking! Hmmmm....Last month it was a smiling face under the car mat. Makes you wonder if Mr. Smiley is following me in hopes to brighten my day? Sure looks like it!

At least I was able to drop off some donations for the Special Olympics program. It was time to clean out my winter clothes of things I can no longer wear due to additional weight loss. I also donated my black purse that I replaced with a larger one. It always feels good to give back to the community!I got the new handicap plates today for my car that literally seems to just sit in the garage. My friend makes sure we get it out to drive at least a few times a week so things don't start going wrong with it from not being driven. At least now I won't have to worry about rotating my handicap placard from car to car. Now its on my license plate. I kept the spare card in my friends car. Work smarter not harder!

The weather was so warm that me and my friend decided to walk at the park across the street from my house. It was nice to get some fresh air while allowing gravity to work for me not against me. I have been careful in what I am consuming lately but all GP'ers have their moments. I had mine late last night with instant mashed potatoes. Sure! I know! I should had known better but darn I am flippin mentally hungry! Later this evening I realized why me and solids don't mix anymore. Especially when it comes to potatoes, pasta and other carbs. Let's just say what doesn't go down will always find a way to come right back up. HELLO MR. PUKE PAN! SO WE MEET AGAIN...GEES!

I think I will stick with what's safe like the Slimfast way of life. If they get rid of that line then I will be in huge trouble but so far so good! I don't really miss turkey or ham during the holidays seeing I wasn't ever really big on meats, poultry, etc. Might be a good thing because I am already tired of seeing turkey and there's another one being cooked tomorrow, UGGGG! Thanks but no thanks! I will pass...

Before my friend heads off to babysit the bad guys down at the county jail he decided to give me another good laugh this evening and load up the Wii Country Dance game. We both just hope I don't laugh so hard that I knock the rest of my teeth out, hahahahaha!

Posted by GastroparesisAwarenessCampaignOrg. at 11:47 PM EST

Updated: November 27, 2011 12:46 AM EST

Share This Post

Post Comment | Permalink

Mood:  d'oh

Good thing I didn't add my teeth on my list of blessings yesterday. If so I just had two hit the road! Hahahaha! Instead of Christmas shopping like most people are doing today I am dental shopping!

"ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS MY TWO MISSING TEETH." YIKES!

I slept in till 2pm. Might be a good thing I accidentally set my cell phone alarm seeing I just can't seem to get enough sleep anymore. My body is beat and surely all the new medications are not helping. I still have four more days taking all three meds then back to the ole DREADED DRANO! More like DEADLY DRANO! Once I got up and slowly tried to get my body motivated I did the typical wake up chores around the house. After getting the fur gang fed and situated I went to brush my teeth. Nothing odd or out of the ordinary. I brush, floss and use mouthwash at least twice a day. Mind you not the cheap stuff either but not sure why it matters anymore seeing after more dental work I endured just two months ago I am back again to my dentist's office Monday. FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! The nightmare started yesterday evening when I noticed my upper right tooth is missing a few pieces. My teeth are not just decaying but chipping away. This afternoon once I started flossing my upper left tooth literally crumbled at the gumline. As of this evening I am missing a few more pieces when I attempted to just drink a meal supplement through a straw.

IS THIS INSANE OR WHAT? BLAME IT ON THE HELL-IN-A-JUG AKA DRANO!

I called my dentist's office seeing the strange part is I don't feel any pain. Funny enough I didn't with the multiple fractures and missing discs in my lumbar-back either. I was able to contact my dentist via cell phone he has for emergencies. All I had to do was say my name and he knew something was wrong. I explained what happened yesterday then today with my teeth. He asked if I had felt any pain and I replied, "No. Isn't that odd seeing I am missing parts of my teeth." He said, "No, not really because you have so much extensive nerve damage due to your Idiopathic Gastroparesis it might be a good thing you don't feel anything." He then explained once again how much damage the weekly treatments of Golytley/Trilyte is doing internally and externally. It is a very serious concern all my specialists express however there is nothing else on the market for me. I am sadly SOL. The toxic poison continues to quickly eat away at my enamel and poor teeth. Last visit I endured four separate procedures to repair 11 teeth. Now I must accept fate with at least two visits next week if I am lucky.

IT JUST NEVER, EVER ENDS WITH GASTROPARESIS.

Me and my dentist are hoping I can make it through this weekend with my teeth. I am just hoping the rest of them don't also decide to walk right out of my mouth. Stick a candle in me and call me the "THANKSGIVING DAY PUMPKIN" Hahahaha! OK. Wasn't funny finding pieces of my teeth in the sink or on the floor but once again IT IS WHAT IT IS. Sure, I am darn frustrated as all heck and who wouldn't be but I must accept in order for me to live and survive its not going to be easy.

Once my dentist went over the game plan as well adding an antibiotic to my list of current meds I am now taking for other Drano related side affects I showed my friend my new dental problem. His facial expression said it all, "WOW!" He also was shocked I wasn't in some serious pain so I guess if I doubted how much damage has already been done to my nerves and central nervous system I need not question ever again. We both agreed that it might be best I don't know the other damage going on internally from enduring these poisonous treatments. Its a shame technology has yet to advance for us "rare cases" however most people have their colon or most of their intestines removed. So instead of having a weekend enjoying some holiday festivities and getting out of my house-jail a bit I am stuck at home so I don't double jeopardize myself catching any germs out in public. My body is fighting a few new battles right now so no need for me to put my health in further risk. It might be like this over the next few weeks but only as expected.

I am due for my next treatment come Monday but with my teeth literally falling apart I will have to hold off for a day. The way things are going I am seriously contemplating going on a full liquid diet. With my weight at an all time low the problem with enduring that type of diet is the fast weight loss and my doctors are not sure if it will ever level out. Once again, DARN IF I DO AND DARN IF I DON'T. One thing at a time and one tooth at a time too!

Its days like today when laughter is very, very important in order to keep me from going into any deep depression which would be very easy for anyone in my shoes. So what did my friend do? He rented the Country Dance game for my Wii console. TALKING ABOUT FUNNY!!!! I laughed and laughed and laughed! I tend to think he cheated a bit. I haven't heard of dancing with only using your hands and not your legs, hahahahaha! YOU GOTTA LOVE IT!

Thanks, I sure needed that! Like you said, "At least it made you laugh and smile!"

Posted by GastroparesisAwarenessCampaignOrg. at 11:11 PM EST

Updated: November 26, 2011 1:12 AM EST

Share This Post

Post Comment | Permalink

Mood:  special

It's Thanksgiving and time to give thanks for many things in my life.

T-TIME...I was given four years upon my initial Idiopathic Gastroparesis diagnosis and here I am now going on almost nine years fighting the good fight!

H-HAPPINESS...I am blessed to have found happiness again!

A-ANGELS...Without my Angels I don't know where I would be so thank you my guardians for always being by my side.

N-NEGATIVITY...I consider it a blessing because over the years it has only made me fight harder and become stronger! It keeps me on my toes!

K-KARMA...Finally good karma has recently blessed me and praying it continues!

S-SLEEP...Need I say more?

G-GOD...He always blesses me each and every day by giving me strength to live.

I-INTEGRITY...It's not easy living with a rare GI disorder/condition called Gastroparesis but with integrity I know I can do it!

V-VOICE...My voice has allowed me to help others by sharing my own GP journey in hopes to make their own a bit easier.

I-INDIVIDUALITY...We are all unique. We are all strong. I have always believed that only strong individuals could handle such a life full of daily struggles and changes living with Gastroparesis.

N-NIMBLE...There has never nor will ever be another time or decade in my life that I have learned so much from being sick. I feel as if I already have gained a lifetime of knowledge from overcoming the impossible.

G-GRATITUDE...I am blessed by those who have not just inspired me over the years but showed me the true meaning of caring, nurturing, patience, kindness, giving and love. Thank you everyone for always keeping me on my toes and lifting me up when I was down. Thank you for YOU!

Posted by GastroparesisAwarenessCampaignOrg. at 11:59 PM EST

Updated: November 25, 2011 4:08 AM EST

Share This Post

Post Comment | Permalink

Mood:  lucky

It was an early morning with the last sound of hammers and saws. At 11am the final few touches were put on the wheelchair ramp. I got a heads up last night so I knew to get the backroom recliner together as well put up some extra dark towels over the windows so I could go back to sleep. Lately I have been sleeping a lot! Let's just say anywhere from 10-13 hours a night into the early afternoon. My body is tired and although I was fortunate this last Drano treatment worked its still taking a toll on my poor organs. When I can sleep this gal sleeps! Hahahaha! Count my friend in too seeing he has been working extra hours covering overtime from those who are traveling out of town for the holiday weekend or playing hooky 'pretending' they are sick. Most companies won't pay out vacation or sick days so you might as well use them before you lose them.  I guess he might had gotten paid double time this afternoon once he woke up seeing there was quite a mess-2 hours worth of mud, deck nails and pieces of wood laying all around outside. Give him an "A" for being a good sport and cleaning things up. Even with a smile!

Since I am now on the other side of my treatment we decided to finally find me some jeans that fit! The size two jeans I now wear are way too big. The size four jeans I wore last year well...FORGET IT! They swim on me and the waist I have to constantly pull up. Old Navy is the only store I have found prior success over the years that has perfect fitting jeans in smaller sizes. Over the summer I tried a size 1 but they were a bit snug. Since then I have lost additional weight so I should have no problem now. We have a few Old Navy stores around where I live. Call the area a retail shoppers dream! Four malls all within a driving distance. Kinda crazy isn't it? Once we arrived I was expecting it to be busy but with most people on the road holiday traveling it was nice to be able to shop without being shoulder to shoulder. There were other customers there but nothing like it will be tomorrow night. They had a new style of jeans called the "Skinny Jean." This type of style requires one to be rail thin from waist down to your ankles. No way could I possibly get into their size 1 seeing they looked too tiny so I grabbed a normal boot cut in the same size and headed to the fitting room. You know which one fit don't you? The skinny jean of course and the most shocking part was I am a size 0 but they didn't have it in that style only the boot cut jean. The boot cut jean wouldn't allow me to wear my winter boots over them. DARN IT! I showed my friend the loose waist with the size 1 skinny jean but sadly they don't get many size 0's in that style because they run small anyways. So I decided one pair of jeans that somewhat fit is better than nothing at all or wearing jeans I now have that fall off of me. My friend said, "This is one of your early Xmas presents."

HOW NICE WAS THAT!?!

I can't say I ever remember wearing a size 1 whether alone a size 0 in my lifetime but when you live with a digestive condition/disorder that robs you of being able to eat anything is possible. We also stopped by another store to look for a replacement purse for me. Call it the "Second early Xmas gift" seeing I have been looking over the past five months for a new purse. The one I have now has seen better days and I have to carry my medication, BP cuff, peak flow meter, etc whenever I head out in public. I need a purse a bit larger but sorry pumpkin orange or baby poo brown just doesn't do it for me. There is a fairly new store by my house that sells name brands but isn't a dump like TJ Maxx so we decided to stop there this evening and take a look. I wasn't expecting to find a new purse seeing I haven't found one yet but guess what? It was my lucky day because I found a new purse! WHOAHOA! Yes, the small things that make me happy anymore, heeheeheehee! It was the perfect size, perfect color and one heck of a deal! SOLD! My friend also got lucky seeing he needs a few new sweaters for winter and they had a pre-Thanksgiving day sale so he got two for the price of one. BONUS!

Once we got home he modeled his new sweaters and I got my new purse on! Hahahaha! Yes folks what a party filled Wednesday night at my house! WHOAHOA! Unfortunately my friend had to work this evening but it did give me time to do some holiday cooking to take over my parents house tomorrow. Call me the dessert Queen! It also gave me a chance to catch up on a few loads of wash and clean up a bit.

With all the positive vibes and great news today why not end it on another LUCKY NOTE! This one came online and in the mail. I entered an online celebrity look alike contest for a celebrity blog back in September. I actually attended a Halloween costume event dressed as Lady Gaga where instead of dancing I took a side seat and watched others. Gastroparesis doesn't leave much as far as energy but it was fun dressing as Lady Gaga. Some friends of mine suggested I enter a few contests that were being held online where the actual celebrities got to vote on who they believed looked closest to the actual person they were impersonating. I decided, "Oh what the heck!" I submitted my photo as me-Lady Gaga since everywhere I went that night people kept calling me by her name calling me. Guess what? Not only did I win but I got first place! How NEAT is that?!

So let's just say Lady Luck is finally on my side and this Christmas I won't have to pay for gifts. Lady Gaga is paying for them, hahahaha! Well not really...but you know what I mean!  Kinda weird seeing me and her side by side on the internet on various company websites but oh what the heck! Maybe people will think that was my mid-life crisis moment, hahahaha! If this is the start of how the holidays will be this year then I can only hope it continues getting better! Its about time some good karma comes my way. Just ask my ex about karma who decided to find out just how "HARD" the wood is on the new wheelchair ramp seeing after playing around he literally became one with the wood. Face first.

Karma is just the darnest thing isn't it?. Need I say more?...

Posted by GastroparesisAwarenessCampaignOrg. at 11:35 PM EST

Updated: November 24, 2011 1:40 AM EST

Share This Post

Post Comment | Permalink

Mood:  d'oh

No matter how you slice it (if only us GP patients could eat more things that are sliced-amen!) here comes the holiday season! Its the crazy time of the year full of hustle and bustle. The time of the year when everyone goes broke then POOF! it is gone!

What happened to the days when Christmas was about visiting family, friends and loved ones? More so "FAMILY." What happened to the days when being around family was something you looked forward to? What happened to sitting at the table with family and catching up on each others lives? Seems those days have been replaced by cell phones, Ipods, computers and Wii systems.

AHHHH....THE GOOD OLE DAYS....WHERE HAVE THEY SADLY GONE?

It all got somehow lost. Now we push the holiday season with a huge serving of retail mumble jumble. Who really cares if you can get started on Black Friday at 12am instead of 6am? Did we forget about those employees who are now forced to work earlier due to a poor economy? Remember these faces who are now having to give up additional precious time with their families so society can find something else to fight about like HD TVs and video games on sale. Did we all somehow forget the true meaning behind the holidays? What about Thanksgiving? Did we all forget it is a day to pray and say thanks for the blessings we have in our lives? To say thank you to God for waking up and breathing in life another day? 

I have many things to be thankful for. Don't you?

It makes me sad to hear from so many who dread the holidays due to confrontation with family. Family who very seldom even see each other whether alone communicate during the year with even so much as a simple phone call to say, "Hi! How are you doing? Are you still alive?" Now you have to either be a member of Facebook or Myspace to know if your relatives even exist.

Such a sad society we have all become.

This Thanksgiving I am thankful for defying the odds that will always be against me. I can reflect back on a life full of triumph! I continue to prove miracles do exist and sometimes people can overcome great odds because maybe they are still needed on earth before they can continue their work in Heaven. I send my blessings to you and yours that maybe you too can find things in your life to be thankful for. Maybe you can take the time to put down those electronic devices that seem anymore to define the very heart and soul of us as human beings. Find time for family and never take life for granted. Never take family for granted either because when the day comes you want to be surrounded by those who supported you and cared. Not surrounded by people called family who have become strangers because they didn't take the time to genuinely care. Sure, you will always have those who would rather find things wrong or to complain about but not to fret seeing I personally have learned over the years those same individuals just haven't gone through enough tough battles to truly appreciate life. Sometimes you have to just let others be happy with their own behavior and move on.

 Keep lessons learned closely by your side and become a better person for the hardship.

This is the first year I have learned to put differences with others behind me. You can't change people but you can change how you react. Close the door and never look back. I have now made the holidays a time for "me" to enjoy whether it be by putting up a few trees, listening to my favorite holiday collection or placing loose change in a donation box. I now look forward to the holiday season. In this day and age I guess you can consider me a "rarity." Anyone who has overcome great odds can always find a reason to celebrate life even around those who are not listening. "TURN OFF THE FLIPPIN CELL PHONE FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!"

Hahahahaha! Amen.

Posted by GastroparesisAwarenessCampaignOrg. at 11:58 PM EST

Updated: November 23, 2011 3:26 AM EST

Share This Post

Post Comment | Permalink

Mood:  down

You know what today is! It's Drano aka Hell-In-A-Jug Day!

Its also the start of a new week seeing this weekend was full of nothing but holiday decorating. The only thing left to do today was redo the miniature white lights around the fireplace in the living room and run another strand in the dining room. Of course one has to stay active during treatment and this time around was more important seeing last treatment didn't work. I had plenty of house chores I saved for today so I kept extra busy!

Since last treatment didn't work I am hoping to get things moving by drinking a bit more liquid dynamite than last time. Darn if I didn't realize I was out of Hawaiian punch and forgot to pick up some this weekend! I guess I will just have to use Gatorade-Strawberry flavor to chase the foul salt water mix. Me and my friend didn't wake up until 2:30pm. Actually my cell phone alarm woke me up letting me know today was Drano day. Good thing though seeing I would had slept all afternoon. I am still drained and not feeling well. My doctor called this afternoon to let me know the news that I had figured all along which is the Golytely/Trilyte is causing my kidneys to not work properly. What isn't making my organs act up anymore? If its not the ole Hell-In-A-Jug then its the extensive nerve damage from my Idiopathic Gastroparesis. Luckily I have learned over the years to become a pro of accepting bad news.

IT IS WHAT IT IS. NOTHING MORE AND NOTHING LESS.

My doctor wants to see me again Wednesday this week and see how the two rounds of medication are doing however she is aware I need to do my twice weekly treatment today. Darn if you do and darn if you don't. To me its just one evil against another. When I have days like today as well knowing I have to endure another treatment I make sure to fill my days with as much laughter as possible. Me and my friend enjoy playing the game, "Who Am I?" The game starts off trying to mimic someone we know by talking just like them including hand and body movements. I tell you what, its so much fun and we both never laugh so hard!! Its good to find laughter in life because life sure isn't a bed of roses. Mine is more like trees of toilet paper, hahahahaha!

A friend of mine sent me a great email with different emotions and captured photos. I found this one to be so true called, "Love." It shows a photo of a woman walking hand in hand with her loved one. Clearly he is disabled but she still accepts him. If only others in this world were just as accepting and saw through illnesses and disabilities. If only they reached out and loved one another no matter how unique or how many limitations they faced. Maybe this world would be a far better place!

If someone doesn't accept you as the person you are today then maybe they aren't worth having in your life anyway. Only true/genuine people in the world will look past your limitations and still love you for the person you are today. Amen.

Posted by GastroparesisAwarenessCampaignOrg. at 11:57 PM EST

Updated: November 22, 2011 12:49 AM EST

Share This Post

Post Comment | Permalink