Mood: don't ask
Now Playing: Day 580-The Final Road To Survival
Hmmmm....Sure seems like its Wednesday all over again...Set cell phone alarm last night, wake up to Littleblue howling to go outside, feed the fur kids, tidy up a little bit then get ready to head to my doctor's appointment.
Did I just say, "Doctor's appointment?" Yes, I did seeing once again my internal organs are screaming something isn't quite right so is my gut. Unfortunately after my specialist attempted to treat me at home with medication that didn't work I am left with nothing but to suck it up and head to the doctors today.
I refuse to allow today to turn into another unproductive day. After realizing my car tags are up for renewal next month I decided to get that taken care of before my doctors appointment. I was told I can get handicap plates this way I don't have to worry about playing musical placards. I have one in my purse and one in my car but sometimes when my friend drives darn if I don't forget it. At least now I can just have it on my plates and put the other handicap placard in his car and leave it there! By the way did I tell you the new tags are free?! Yes, FREE! I couldn't believe it either, something finally that us who are handicap don't worry about having to pay seeing aren't the hefty medical bills enough?! So with thirty minutes to spare we headed down the street to my local BMV. It must had been a lucky day because there was no one else in line. WOW! Of course we ended up with an employee who was clueless on the new handicap plate forms for me to fill out but after ten minutes of waiting then getting my renewal tags we were on our day to my doctors appointment.
Speaking of also being lucky...I am fortunate enough to live within a short distance of all my 17 specialists like my doctor today who is just a few minutes away. It takes a team to handle my internal mess. I have a specialist per organ and honestly most will not cross their specialty seeing I have had the same specialists now for over eight years and they thoroughly know my unique medical situation. I am called their "Complex/Special Patient." Although most just call me plain "Lucky" or a "Walking Miracle." I would like to think I am both!
Once we walked into the office it was the same routine of signing in, going over my medical insurance, handing them my copay then taking a seat in the waiting area. Since it was already the start of a lucky day I was also the last patient being seen since they were nice enough to work me into their schedule. I only waited a few minutes then was called back into a room. My weight isn't the best it could be but my doctors totally understand when you can't digest food and you are always having to do Drano treatments it will be impossible to gain weight. I do the best I can but looks like Santa might need to bring me a few new pairs of jeans this holiday season because my size 2 are getting to be a bit too big.
My doctor greeted me with a 'Happy Belated Birthday' then proceeded to go over my symptoms. We also went over the medication I tried that for some reason just wasn't working. My doctor said, "You know your body better than anyone else so when something is wrong and you flag us there has yet to be a time where you weren't right." Today was no exception to the rule. The liquid dynamite in a jug I am enduring twice a week is starting to really mess once again with my kidneys. This would explain why over the past week I am constantly urinating and in the bathroom. Although the darn Drano didn't work this time around it still has to pass through my organs. The mixture is extremely harsh and toxic to my kidneys. What I thought was something else going on is just that, "Something ELSE going on."
SHOOT ME AGAIN! Does this look familiar or what?! Only difference is: New doctor, new shirt, new chair but different day, hahahaha!
So...to make a long story short I won myself two rounds of medication on top of my doctor having to send my urine off to a lab this way they can see first hand what kind of damage the darn Drano is doing to my kidneys. Honestly I am not really that surprised because the Hell-In-A-Jug is not meant to be consumed on a weekly basis. Its only meant to be consumed once in a lifetime either via colonscopy or as a surgical prep. Although as my own doctor stated, "Its important you still keep up with your treatments because it is keeping you from getting into trouble and causing bowel obstructions." Sadly looks like I have another serving on my already full plate but its just part of my crazy Idiopathic Gastroparesis life. I wouldn't be lying by saying after awhile you start to get used to the never ending problems. Lately I have been putting a lid on discussing my medical battle keeping it to under a select few except my friend who lives with me. I don't get into the full story or all the details seeing I feel its now best to keep things on the low. I am not getting any better but I also refuse to give up so I keep fighting each and every day.
This blog will most likely be my only outlet in the very near future explaining how I "really" am doing and why not? I don't feel the need to bring others down. I also would rather hear how other patients are doing in hopes maybe I can help them with their own GP journey. It makes me feel useful and I enjoy helping others. It also allows me to shift my focus to someone else which allows me time to escape my reality if only for a bit.
When you don't have local support and you had to become your own main support to a never ending battle after awhile you are OK with keeping mum. My friend said, "You are that way because you had to fight alone. You had to endure the blunt of things without having someone by your side. You were alone most of the time over the past eight years. You battled solo for such a long time that it made you super strong. You are a true fighter." It does make sense if you really think about it. I wasn't babied or pampered being sick instead I had to endure things on my own. So maybe its not fair but guess what? It's life. Now I don't have to be sick alone. I don't have to go to all the doctors appointments alone. I don't have to always be my own best friend but I am glad I learned how. Now I am blessed to take this next decade of my Gastroparesis journey with someone finally by my side.
So I chalk up today as just another battle to overcome. Including this evening as I once again have to bring out Mr. Puke pan, UGGGG! Things don't get better with Gastroparesis. Things progress over time. There are no answers. There are no cures. There are though people out in the world who do care and you don't have to go on your GP journey alone.
God is good and when you do good onto others eventually that help and support will find you. Amen.