Mood:  sharp

HAPPY HALLOWEEN! BOO!

It's a day filled with frightful things! Not like being a Gastroparesis patient isn't frightful enough so us GP'ers really don't have that much left to be scared of...just the unknown with our never ending condition.

I started the day first scaring myself into another Facebook reality check! Yes...I am guilty for the third times a charm activating my already twice deleted account hoping that things have changed since my last attempt. More like hoping people have changed but guess what? They didn't the first, second and now the third time so you know what that means right? I deleted my account for good this evening. Give me an "A" for effort giving others a last chance but instead all I have seen is nothing more than self indulged individuals with a 'look at me! look at me!' attitude and life. I guess somethings never change and sometimes people don't either. Unless you are a soccer Mom or a PTA Mom or a Cheer Mom or a stay at home Mom you can just hang it up because people see you as less of a person if you don't fall or fit into their category. They really don't want to connect. This isn't the first you see because I lost many friends along the way not being a parent.

IT SUKS! GP SUKS!

So here I am with my fur kids whom I am very happy and proud of that truly show me what it is to be unconditionally loved deleting the last of my so called Facebook which turned out more to be a 'FAKEBOOK.' It also started getting to me emotionally which my treating specialists didn't find to be very healthy. I felt like I couldn't be me-sick but instead anytime I had a good moment I had to post photos almost freezing that moment in time. What I felt I couldn't post was the truth. Truth about what really my life has turned to be living as a Gastroparesis patient. At least I was able to allow others the time to learn about Gastroparesis and my unique journey but like most in this selfish world all most people sadly care about is themselves. If only we all took the time out from our own lives and walked in someone elses shoes for a change. Amen. Even with family members it really started waking me up. This might had been a blessing you see because maybe I need to realize who is really there for me and who isn't then walk away. I haven't spoken to either of my family on both sides minus a few in quite awhile. My support system in this city sadly doesn't consist of enough. My doctors still remain very confused and distraught on the lack of support.

So its time to SCARE MYSELF STRAIGHT!

After all it is Halloween! It's time to 'Trick Or Treat.' Trick was Facebook. Treat was this afternoon and later into the evening. Me and my friend decided to carve our own pumpkins and make our costumes this year. Its time to set myself straight too! What was I this year? Why a GP survivor. My friend? A walking GP billboard. How's that for awareness?! Usually my family every year has the annual family pumpkin carving but all this year everyone wants to do is carve themselves distance. That's ok though because I don't have any expectations and if you are terminally sick and others don't want to see you or at least make contact with you then pick up your shoes and as my doctors say and say it best, "Walk away." Bad enough dealing with being sick still today, vomiting last night and this afternoon then putting my game face on in time for Halloween. Last thing I need is stress or depression so I put a quick lid to it.

Time to move on.

It was fun carving pumpkins with my friend and its nice having someone around to always talk to. I don't feel so alone anymore and when I feel even a touch of depression they are there for me. They also do something else which is very, very important! They are a set of eyes for my specialists. They are able to give them all the feedback they need in order to see what type of help I am getting from family and friends around the house and also during treatments. Now let's just say no one can say, "It's just your opinion." No folks its the hard core reality and facts. I don't have much if hardly any support.

I am starting to see clearly now and on a roll waking up to reality and scaring myself straight! My own Gastroenterologist had some scaring of his own to do today. With my INSURANCE COMPANY! BOO! Seems once again they didn't want to cover a medication to help stop the vomiting because they said, "It's only really suppose to be used in a hospital setting." They also couldn't understand why I couldn't just take a pill. DUH! I HAVE GASTROPARESIS! So instead of ending up back at the hospital my doctor worked on getting the approval for most of the afternoon and by early this evening my friend was able to pick up my medication for me.

THANK GOODNESS! MAYBE SOME RELIEF!

It was just in time too seeing the nausea was almost at the point of no return and I really needed that hospital medication! I took one quick under the tongue dissolvable wafer then placed another one to the side to take later. My Drano aka Hell-In-A-Jug treatment is out of my system now which is creating more problems so its important I do my second treatment tomorrow or by Wednesday. Its tough seeing I only have my friend to be there for me during treatments. I have to work around their off days. Its tough when you don't have that help or support.

Around 5:30pm with only thirty minutes to spare before trick or treating began my friend helped me out getting the candy together as well SCARING others about GASTROPARESIS by getting Halloween themed education cards and pamphlets ready for those interested in some GP education. A local news station come out to the house Thursday to do an interview on the monsters as well learn more about Gastroparesis and my condition. Let's just say once again I SCARED MYSELF STRAIGHT! The interview not only aired on the same night I got extremely ill but once I saw myself on camera and how frail I looked and how sunken in my cheekbones were it was then I realized, "Hey! I don't look so good!" It wasn't a good reality check to say the least.

This evening the monster gang display outside as well some live characters scared more than 500 kids not counting those who were too scare to make it to the front porch to get candy and over an estimated 1,200 people. All within three hours. How do I know? We always keep track of the candy and I had 250 "I SCARE YOU TO ASK ABOUT GASTROPARESIS" website cards that were gone within the first forty minutes. It was a non stop action filled night as me and my friend rocked our GP Awareness shirts with even my own scary mask on. More like medical mask but this time even the kids accepted it without question. There were more scares and more laughs than I can count. My friend even said, "This is the most I have ever laughed I believe in my entire life!" I couldn't agree more which is why this year I got my old VHS recorder out and tripod then set it on the front porch. There is now over three hours full of action pack laughter for the entire year.

Well until next Halloween anyways...

You don't realize how much those scary guys bring so much joy to others until they pack it up for the year and head back to monsterland but I bet they sure do have some stories when they head back home to share, hahahahaha! I will sure miss all the smiles. I will sure miss all the laughter. Most of all I will sure miss having a little escape of my own to leave the reality of being sick. Now its time to see how well I do with reality.

BOO! More like BOOHOO!

At least now when I feel down and out, alone and depressed, sick and weak all I need to do is turn on the VCR/DVD player then put in the video from tonight. At least I know it will make me smile and maybe once again I can escape...

Posted by GastroparesisAwarenessCampaignOrg. at 11:59 PM EDT

Updated: November 1, 2011 4:10 AM EDT

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Mood:  down

One just can never, ever predict day to day, hour to hour or minute to minute living with wicked Gastroparesis. One day you are up then the next day you are down. This is the most UNPREDICTABLE medical condition I have not only personally seen, heard of but as well live it. Gastroparesis is enough to make one just want to jump onto the first plane and live their body at home. HAHAHAHA! Now if only that were possible!

This laptop gift has come in extremely handy lately seeing if I had to use the desktop at home there would be no blog...well at least the past few months. Now I am able to connect with everyone and allow them to stay connected to me by the touch of a keypad. (Did I just plug an advertisement for laptop computers?)

So here I am. I made it and I am still alive. BOY! Am I one heck of a very lucky gal! I tend to agree with all my specialists in saying, "You are a rare breed and a walking miracle." So I wasn't suppose to live past four years upon my initial severe Idiopathic Gastroparesis diagnosis but here I am four years later and still as stubborn as ever. I won't give up but darn its tough not to give in when you get hit with a wicked GP flair up from hell! I am in one right now as we speak.

About last night...Trying to get rest on the ole couchbed didn't work. Things got far worse and we ended up heading to the hospital around 2:30am. The pain was intolerable and I can take a lot but I met my limit. It was a mad rush with my family member trying to find my gym shoes as well getting some clothes together. As sick as I was honestly I told them, "I will just go in my sleep clothes and robe." I was sick! I was getting worse! This wasn't easing up. Once we got a change of extra clothes on me over my sleep attire we headed up to the local hospital. This was at the same time dealing with the pressure pain followed by sharp pain then turning cold and clammy. They kept asking me which hospital we should go to seeing there are two near my house but at this point I didn't care I just wasn't sure if I could make it there so the only words I could get out at that point was, "I don't care. Just get there. HURRY!"

BOY was it NOT a good ride! Once we hit another expressway ramp the twists and turns did it for me. It felt like the right side of my intestines was ready to come up and it did. The last time I can remember vomiting was after my last surgery three years ago due to the side affects of anesthesia. This time however the pressure wasn't coming directly from my stomach but instead the right side of my intestines. Once we made it over that ramp I started to get sick and sick and sick. I couldn't find the darn window button at first but once things got dizzy I finally figured it and said out loud, "I have to make it. I don't want to go like this. I won't go like this." Of course they didn't say anything and if they did it was quietly and I was too far out of it to hear. Its hard for others to see me sick. Its hard for them to accept a medical condition without a cure as my condition continues to quickly progress but you must accept things. Its important to accept an illness.

The drive seemed like forever but once we made it to the hospital and I was able to sit down in a wheelchair they whisked us back to a room. They are super quick when you are really sick at my local hospital as multiple hospital staff started asking questions, taking blood then running a line into my arm. This time I earned myself a double line of fluids seeing I was vomiting a lot and I still had yet to rehydrate from my last Drano aka Hell-In-A-Jug treatment. The ER doctor came in and introduced himself as we went over my symptoms then he started asking questions regarding my Gastroparesis and connected problems. To him it didn't seem like it was my apendix that needed to come out but that although I do two treatments to flush my intestines on a weekly basis it still isn't enough. I am still getting into trouble but this time things were making their way back up through the intestines and stomach. Not good. I had text my friend seeing I wasn't feeling well before they went to work and I wasn't able to answer my phone. I had to let them know I was at the hospital a family member drove me up making sure to let them know I was being treated. My friend not only got the message but was able to get someone to cover the other half of their shift and quickly made their way up to the hospital.

Remember what I said just the other day on a different blog? Gastroparesis patients don't like to be alone. NO ONE should have to suffer in silence but worse, "ALONE."

This was one time I sure didn't need nor want to be alone. I was guessing in my mind it could possibly be my apendix that needed to come out seeing that was the only thing so far that my GP hasn't destroyed but once again I was wrong. Very wrong. Seems my severe Idiopathic Gastroparesis gave me a very severe flair up. Not only that but the scans of my intestines show problems that my twice weekly treatment still isn't enough. I am still not able to be flushed out. I have some pretty nasty toxic stuff hanging out stuck in my intestines. This could as my GI doctor said today on the phone, "Make you very, very sick. It can also cause extreme vomiting as your body tries to rid things the opposite direction that we would like for them to go." So after a long morning in the hospital and an evil drive back home my friend stopped enough to allow me to once again get sick and then we finally made it home. My family member is just now trying to catch up with things regarding medical questions concerning my eight year battle but the ER doctors can only go in explaining things to a certain point. When you don't live it its hard to understand what us GP patients battle on a daily basis. I don't think they understands nor the rest of them but people have to take in things at their own pace.

It was a horrible night of uncomfortable rest, nausea, vomiting, pressure and waves of pain but I made it! It is a new day and I made it! That says a lot from a gal who has been through a lot. I have a long recovery ahead of me and today was no exception. I still can't hold down fluids but I am still trying. My doctors have been amazing as they work closely making sure to monitor things through out the day. I guess its up to my body to decide when this too shall pass. It will pass. Just on it's own time.

Back to reaching into my patience jar.

Posted by GastroparesisAwarenessCampaignOrg. at 9:15 PM EDT

Updated: October 30, 2011 10:48 PM EDT

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Mood:  down

All was calm on the water until a huge tidal wave came up out of nowhere!

WHAT THE HECK?!!

My friend had their moving sale today so unfortunately it was a 10am wake up call. I slept decent but not the best however I figure the sale is only a few days and we had a pre-sale yesterday in which he did really, really well! This gal also did good after bringing over items that I couldn't sell at my own garage sale last month. Let's just say a few hours turned into a pouring of people! Time flew by!! I figured we would do fairly well but I didn't expect as many people that showed up. WOW!! So today we were crossing our fingers for the same type of outcome. A very prosperous day! $$$$

With it being a morning wake up call I made sure to give my body an hour to get ready and the possibility of easing up the nausea a bit. My friend lives on the opposite side of town so it generally takes around 35 minutes to get there however this morning I hit every light at every major intersection. Once we got to his street the closer we made our way to his house the more cars we saw then a huge line of people from the front porch to the street! WOW!! This was not only a good day but he was able to sell more than half! <CLAPS! This isn't my first garage or moving sale set up but I must say it was the best I had seen and the area he lives in is perfect for sales! We started at 11:50am and closed the doors at 4pm. I was beat! My friend was exhausted too! I am still trying to work through my last treatment and the nausea started to slowly creep up on me before we headed back home. Maybe I just needed to rest seeing I am pushing the envelope so to speak being sick but life is short and my friend does so much helping me that the least I can do is offer help to them. Amen.

We got back to my house around 7pm after a long and tiring drive. It took a lot for both of us to keep our eyes open. I decided to only do a few things around the house and quickly lay down to give my body some much needed rest however once I did just that horrible pressure pain started building in the upper right side of my intestines. OH NO! NOT AGAIN! My friend had to be at work by 11pm so they left a bit after 10pm then the fun started! NOT. The pressure pain just kept getting worse to the point it was hard to even stand up so instead of just laying there waiting for something bad to happen I went to the bathroom and that was it. All down hill from there...

I ended up on the floor doubled over with horrible intestinal pressure, pain, sweats then nausea times 10. I had to call a family member and have them come over to help me some how make it to the couch. This of course required getting off the floor, out of the bathroom and back to the living room. Once they got to my house I didn't have much to say seeing I was in a world of pain and any little noise just seemed to amplify things. After around an hour we were finally able to get me up off the floor and slowly scoot our way back to my couchbed. It wasn't easy but the longer you sit with intestinal pressure and sharp pain the worse it becomes. I just wanted to find a good position to at least tolerate things a bit easier.

GOOD LUCK!

They stayed over hoping maybe things would calm down if I just rested or tried to catch a bit of sleep. That didn't happen and nor did the pain ease up followed by waves of unbearable pressure. This was the start of a V E R Y...LONG...N I G H T....

Posted by GastroparesisAwarenessCampaignOrg. at 11:59 PM EDT

Updated: October 30, 2011 10:50 PM EDT

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Mood:  chatty

A great therapist of mine once said or more like said more than once to me over the past four years, "If people can't accept you sick then they are not worth having in your life. If people have nothing to offer you as far as support is concerned with a chronic condition then what do they really offer to your life?"

GREAT PHILOSOPHY!

So another HUGE light bulb has gone off in my head the past few weeks. Honestly I have even questioned the advice of others who are not sick nor ill with a chronic medical condition on how they would treat others when they themselves are treated unkindly. Their answer, "Show respect when respect is shown." And a few others said, "If someone treats you badly why would anyone owe it to treat them kindly?" One even said, "I was raised to show respect and in return demand nothing but respect."

WOW! GREAT ADVICE!

So today I was puzzled by someone questioning why anyone would hold a walk for awareness whether cancer, Gastroparesis or any other serious medical condition. Clearly unless someone walks in your shoes or along side with you in your own unique journey you will never, ever be able to persuade them to understand. You can't change the opinions of others. OK, so I do agree that if they really put all the money that is being raised for cancer over many decades wouldn't we all by now have some sort of cure? YES. What really people need to ask themselves is, "If we didn't raise money then there wouldn't be money. Maybe there is already a cure but if there was then no one would be raising money."

RIGHT? RIGHT.

Its surely not fair for anyone to suffer by the hands of any terminal condition and that holds true for those who suffer from Gastroparesis or any other medical condition. NO ONE SHOULD HAVE TO SUFFER. NO ONE. On the same note NO ONE should have to suffer alone and not have support. NO ONE.

Another part I have dealt with for many years being an Idiopathic Gastroparesis patient is dealing with the hard core facts of those around me not accepting me as sick. They refuse to get out of the boat in the sea of denial. Not THE NILE. DENIAL. The worse my condition becomes the more out of sight, out of mind they become. Not only is it very hurtful to myself but others who experience it around me. Honestly if someone can't accept you for who are you whether yesterday, today or tomorrow then you need to question first of all what the heck their problem is and second of all if it is fair to continue having them in your life. My own physicians say, "You must put limits to those type of relationships and not place any form of expectations on the individuals. If you do so you are only setting yourself up for hurt and additional stress you don't need."

 I SADLY AGREE.

So today I had another light bulb go off in my head and POOF! I am once again a changed gal.

Raising awareness for any condition is extremely important. With Gastroparesis and being a GP patient with a terminal diagnosis I take what I do to raise international awareness very seriously!

WITH OR WITHOUT THE SUPPORT OF OTHERS. AMEN.

Posted by GastroparesisAwarenessCampaignOrg. at 11:58 PM EDT

Updated: October 29, 2011 1:29 AM EDT

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Mood:  don't ask

I slept G O O D! I even got up at 12:30pm which gave me 10.5 hours of much needed rest and just in time for a day of Drano treatment. WHOAHOA!

My body was aching all over and so was my poor back. If I am to go down in a blaze of back glory before the final shift happens with my bones I will go down with a ton of accomplishments! AMEN! It might be good my severe Idiopathic Gastroparesis has my nerves all screwed up. Sometimes I feel horrific pain but other times when I should really have some serious pain is when I don't feel anything at all. This also happened when I didn't realize I had 10 decayed teeth that had to be rebuilt. With my back fractured in two different spots in my lower lumbar, not having discs anymore and the last shift of bone ready to go any day and anytime now I am hoping as well my doctors it happens fast. So far the really bad stuff that would cause me lots of discomfort has already happened. What I now experience is my legs going numb and giving out on me when least expected. I also can't sit for more than 30 minutes at a time without having to hold onto to something and brace myself before being able to walk again. When I do try to lay down such as when I have the past month tanning the pain is so unbearable I have to turn my legs/torso every five minutes. So at least I don't look like 'Casper the Friendly Ghost' now since my friend treated both of us to a month of tanning but it wasn't relaxing at all, not in the least bit for me. I pretty much have had to utilize the stand up tanning bed in order to not have my back lock up. A few times almost needing to call them in the room to get me back up from a lay down tanning bed was enough for this gal. My doctors thought it was a GREAT IDEA! This was of course before they realized the severity of my back. Thank goodness our tanning package is up in a few days. I will miss having some color but I won't miss the additional discomfort.

If I could sleep standing up not only would it benefit my Gastroparesis but also my poor back.

Today was a rainy, dreary day. A great day to Drano! I tried to start my treatment mid afternoon but I had much to catch up on around my own house so I waited until 5pm this way my back eased up a bit. For some reason this darn jug tasted like last treatments-plastic! UGGGG! Once I filled it up with water I could smell it but I don't think you can make this stuff anymore toxic than it already is, GEES! I had some Worther's hard candy left over so I made sure to suck on a piece after each nasty salt tasting glass. The first glass gagged on the way down but at least I didn't get sick and was able to finish the rest. This time it took quite awhile to start working but like all the other treatments one is never the same as the other.

With a scary day of Drano comes scary news! http://www.cnn.com/2011/10/27/living/halloween-lawn-decor/index.html CNN finally got their article together on the Halloween classic horror movie monster display in the front yard. I got a copy later this evening sent to me via email and a local channel also used some photos on their news segment. http://ireport.cnn.com/docs/DOC-693626 See! They really do need their own agents after all! Hahahaha! Another house in New York also gets into the Halloween spirit but they don't make their monsters they buy them in the tune of thousands of dollars. Now THAT IS SCARY!

Even though it was a rainy day today and the monster heads had to stay inside due to rain can ruin the paint and airbrushing people still came by one after another. It makes for a very unique display. I call it, "Guessing which left over dummy not beheaded took the rest of the missing heads." Hahahahaha!

Oh its all in good fun! Especially when it takes away from thinking about Drano and its evil side effects. BOO!

Posted by GastroparesisAwarenessCampaignOrg. at 11:59 PM EDT

Updated: October 28, 2011 12:36 AM EDT

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Mood:  rushed

We are in a mad rush! Mad rush to get things set up for the moving sale this weekend at my friend's house.

TALKING ABOUT A LOT OF STUFF!

I thought I had lots of things to get rid of at my garage sale last month but we might as well times that by 50 at his house. YIKES! Yes, the dreaded list of things to do for October are once again today being crossed off. Project by project. Once we got up it was the typical chores around the house to attend to followed by letting the fur kids outside to run some energy then feed the wildlife gang. My chipmunks look like the size of small kittens but when you are getting fed on a daily basis let's just say they are fed VERY WELL! Hahahaha! Another friend of mine has a huge acorn tree in their backyard and when I was over this week they gave me a bag to take home to my squirrels. What I found the next day when I went to let Littleblue outside since I have to first walk out and clap my hands to make sure the wildlife are safe and sound was around 20 squirrels making a mad dash. WOW! I had never seen so many but no wonder! Seems I only had the garage door open for an hour then went back inside the house. That was just enough time for the squirrel team to gang up, grab the plastic back of acorns and make a run with the entire bag to the backyard. Once I walked out all that was left was an empty bag with numerous sections of chomped plastic and a top of one acorn, hahahaha! It was shocking but OH SO FUNNY! My friend said, "You have some seriously spoiled wildlife kids."

HE SURE IS RIGHT!

On our way to his house we ran a few last minute errands which included getting a new recliner for the backroom at my house since this will be their new bedroom. On our way to his house we grabbed a few things needed to help set up for the sale. By the time we got done running around it was 5pm and we got up at 1pm. I was already tired but no room for slacking seeing I have my Drano aka Hell-In-A-Jug treatment tomorrow and his estate sale is this weekend.

If I got an "A" for patience then once 9pm hit my friend turned his own "A" into a quick "F." Hahahaha! He even agreed because not only was he burned out and tired he had a complete melt down. A book melt down to be exact but BOY WAS IT FUNNNNNNY! It was a classic Kodak moment! Let's just say too much of a good thing makes anyone irritable and even after he fueled up with a late dinner it went all downhill from there. We 'thought' it would only take a few hours to finish up going through each room but that turned into four hours. Honestly I had a method to the madness and although it worked it still tested his patience. It took one book called, "The Prophet." I was working upstairs on things in his son's room and I noticed the book in the box. I figured since its in the 'to sell box' it was good to go but once my friend came upstairs the book was the cause of the death of his patience.

"What is this?" Ummmm...A book. "Do you know what book this is?" I said, "A book that is being sold." He replied, "Fine. I will just sell everything. Why don't we just sell everything?" Then he turned around pouting and left the room. Hahahahaha! Yes! We still are laughing about it because he was clearly tired and had enough with the day's set up. Once he walked back into the room he was working in I said out loud, "Boy! you sure would never make it with my medical condition because if you think a book can break your patience try eight years of being tortured on top of not being able to eat. It's just a book."

Honestly I now believe I do give myself far less credit that I deserve. I have patience times a million. My friend a few minutes later agreed.

So after a two hour set up finishing things for the sale that turned into four hours we headed back to my house with a few boxes and two totes. We then had to rearrange his room in the back of the house moving the huge recliner that he bought earlier today. I also had to condense things in the back closet to get his clothes in there, shoes and work uniforms. By the time we got to sit down it was 2am. I don't remember falling asleep but let's just say it was a VERY SOLID night of rest.

I can't wait for this month to be over! Did I say that already? Well, I will say it again, "I can't wait for this month to be over." Hahahahaha!

Posted by GastroparesisAwarenessCampaignOrg. at 11:11 PM EDT

Updated: October 27, 2011 11:57 PM EDT

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Mood:  celebratory

I WOULD had this blog completed an hour ago but much like this month its been nothing but hectic. Once I hit publish, POOF! it disappeared! Here I sit doing my blog one more time around folks.

Give this gal an "A" in the subject of patience.

My friend has also been stressed out to the max! That makes two of us as they make final preparations moving things into my house. They also have been getting things ready for a huge estate sale this coming weekend. I helped them out today doing the best I can assisting by getting items together for the sale. I had a pile of things myself they allowed me to bring over of what didn't sell during my last garage sale. Luckily they had enough room in their car to fit everything. This time around what doesn't sell won't be coming back home. I am trying to downsize not add more things to clean. After this month we both agreed we earned a much needed break! Add that 'double ditto' on my end seeing its not been easy being sick and crossing off one thing after another on a list of things to accomplish this month. Amen!

Hectic has also been the Halloween haunted monster display in my front yard. Since Halloween is less than a week away and the constant traffic flow of visitors has yet to stop. Call it in the hundreds all wanting to get photos taken with their favorite life size classic horror movie character. We get people from out of state as well as nursing homes and school districts by the bus load who visit. Maybe we need some sort of guestbook to keep track of everyone, hahahaha! Really I think these outdoor monsters need agents because clearly they have become celebrities in their own horror right, hahahaha!

My friend sent me a photo of John Carpenter they met down south this past weekend who I clearly was clueless about...In fact I thought it was a photo of them standing with a family member. This tells you how much I am NOT into horror movies or anything scary. Isn't Gastroparesis scary enough? Maybe I should be doing a medical horror series on what GP patients endure on a constant basis? How about the Hell-In-A-Jug series? YIKES!

Today I got a phone call from CNN news headquarters. Seems even the popular news network wants to get into the monster buzz in our front yard. They will be airing a story on the monster gang later this week. So maybe I don't like scary things but I will say its been fun watching the reactions of others who visit and their smiles are priceless! I guess everyone finds some sort of joy in life, even the scary kind, heeheeheeheehee!

The wheelchair ramp was suppose to be built this week and I am gracious for those who were willing to start on the project early however it isn't a good idea having porch construction going on a week before Halloween. Instead of children coming to the door for a treat they might instead had gotten a trick! YOWZA! Next month is right around the corner and all good things in good timing.

Need I say more about my crazy month?

Posted by GastroparesisAwarenessCampaignOrg. at 11:59 PM EDT

Updated: October 26, 2011 2:56 AM EDT

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Mood:  lucky

Finally it seems things are slowly getting better on the home front as my friend makes some final preparations to move in. Not only will it be nice having someone to help out around the house but someone to talk to will be a blessing too! Gastroparesis patients need support. We need companionship so we don't feel so alone.

Amen.

Gastroparesis in my opinion still is the most cruel condition I know of and ask someone who has cancer to give their own honest opinion weighing the two. I personally have spoken to quite a few cancer patients who have said, "Gastroparesis has to be the more evil of the two seeing with my cancer I have options. I have medication. I have treatments that at least will help me." This is coming not just from cancer patients but those with other chronic and terminal conditions who told me online and offline over the years, "I don't know what I would do with a condition that first took away my ability to eat. I don't know how I could handle the endless symptoms and long term problems associated with your condition. I don't know how I could handle the lack of support or lack of research."

From my own personal experience I have yet to see only a handful of Gastroparesis patients get better over the years by either a multi-organ transplant that by sheer luck they survived or others who had contracted a virus caught in time that caused their Gastroparesis and was cured by medication. The other few were misdiagnosed in the first place. That isn't very good odds. The rest of us face the down hill spiral or as I call it, "The Domino Affect" as our Gastroparesis shuts down one organ at a time.

THANK GOODNESS FOR OUR GP FAMILY! AMEN!

I don't know what I would do or where I would be without them?..The GP family consists of other Gastroparesis patients, their families, friends and loved ones. You may not always know they are around but trust me by experience over the years in saying, "They ARE AROUND!" Not only are they inspiring but beyond supportive, compassionate, loving and patient. They will never let you down. They will never let you be alone. They will be there for you through out your GP journey. They know what you are going through and your struggles because each and every one of them also fights the good GP fight.

As photo upon photo continues to come in from this past weekends 2nd annual 'United GP Walk' its hard not to be touched seeing so many people unite together. Gastroparesis may be cruel. It may be chronic. It may be fatal. One thing it can never do is stop the overwhelming love and support from the GP family.

Whenever you feel alone, sad or in desperation know you always have family that cares because my friend we are everywhere.

Posted by GastroparesisAwarenessCampaignOrg. at 11:59 PM EDT

Updated: October 25, 2011 4:51 AM EDT

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Mood:  celebratory

You know what today is right? It's the...

2ND ANNUAL 'UNITED GP WALK' NATIONWIDE!

That's right folks! Over a year in planning its finally here! Almost like Christmas! A GP type of Christmas!

So I decided to play things by ear once I got up at 1:30pm today. I don't want to push the envelope so to speak since I had the not so wonderful seizure late last night. Of course I woke up tired as ALL HECK! a bit tingly still in the head but determined as ever to lead the pack for a successful walk! It takes a heck of a lot to keep this gal down and I refuse to allow my head to change any plans. Sure, I will be dragging and tired but you only live once and the 'United GP Walk' only comes around once a year. This is the second year and its bigger than ever! With 32 states and two countries walking for Gastroparesis Awareness there is just no excuses in my book. So after a bad night and a foggy day you know what I did right?

I KICKED MY OWN SELF IN THE BOOTY, GOT OUT THERE AND WALKED!

It was a fairly nice day for the annual walk although the weather was better yesterday everyone still got together and had a very nice time. Low-key kind of time seeing I like to remain hidden now and allow others to take the Gastroparesis Awareness bull by the horns. Take it and RIDE RIDE RIDE! And everyone did just that!

This gal doesn't cry. In fact its very seldom you will find a tear from my eyes unless that scale of 1-10 pain goes over 20 but today was a different kind of day. It wasn't tears of pain but tears of joy as once I got home this evening and started winding down photos from others around the great USA and overseas started to pour in. Words can't describe the feeling seeing so many people from around the world join hands making a difference in the lives of Gastroparesis patients. Most are GP patients joining along side family, friends, loved one and even colleagues. Its an amazing feeling knowing you CAN make a difference walking together for Gastroparesis Awareness!

So forget you Mr. Seizure! I won't let you ruin my day instead I kept my boxing gloves on because no matter what life throws your way you gotta, "KEEP ON! KEEPING ON!" AMEN.

October 23, 2011:
Thanks to everyone who walked today during the 2nd Annual 'United GP Walk.'
We had 32 states and two countries walk for Gastroparesis Awareness. Stand up! Give yourself a HUGE ROUND OF APPLAUSE because together we have proven you can make a difference in the lives of others who suffer from Gastroparesis.

Be VERY PROUD OF YOU!    -GP Rocky & The Gastroparesis Awareness Campaign Team

www.gastroparesisawareness.com

Posted by GastroparesisAwarenessCampaignOrg. at 11:59 PM EDT

Updated: October 24, 2011 1:55 AM EDT

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Mood:  d'oh

So I am bit behind on my blog...I have a very good excuse though seeing if I would had blogged Saturday it would had been a really interesting one and surely a confusing one too!

Maybe I shouldn't had spoken so soon to my Neurologist about being seizure free the past few months because I jinxed myself. Sure, I didn't knock on any wood as I left his office but maybe ran over some pieces of twigs in my driveway once I got home, hahahahaha!

It started off a pretty good day overall and although it was clear my treatment still hasn't completely worked its way through me I am almost ready for my next dose. If their goal is to constantly have this nasty Drano aka Hell-In-A-Jug in my system 24/7 then we are at that point so later in the afternoon once I was on my way out the door instead I was on my way through the bathroom door. Might as well hook up satellite TV in there since I live there anymore!

My friend arrived around 3pm and we headed up to the local park to walk the trails. The 2nd annual 'United GP Walk' is Sunday, October 23rd however it was such a beautiful, sunny and crisp, cool day why not walk today with friends?

GREAT IDEA!

It was not only a great idea but a perfect day too! There are two trails to walk but I had to choose the short trail for obvious GP reasons but we had a very nice time. I even walked right up to two woolly worms, how lucky is that seeing soon they will both turn into two beautiful butterflies! Surely this gal could use some luck in her life. My friend loved the park and trails because its a great way to really take in the fall foliage.

Once we got back to the house I decided to make dinner seeing he hadn't ate anything all day and although I am a pro at a liquid diet it doesn't mean everyone else has to suffer. Right? Right! I made some chili dip, turkey stuffing, mexican rice and some pumpkin cookies. Yes, a strange combination but he works as a sheriff for the local county and there was enough food left over for him to take to work. The food didn't take too long to prepare but at the same time I started getting horrible head pressure that started in the back of my neck then up the back of my head. OH GEES! I figured here we go with a pop-up migraine! The pressure didn't let up but instead got worse so once I cleaned up the dishes I told my friend I was going to change clothes. I was started to get what I felt was seizure aura along with feeling dizzy and the last thing I remembered was going into my closet to reach for a pair of shorts on the shelf. I leaned forward and that's all she wrote! That's all I remember too until I woke up with my friend talking to me and seeing what I thought was white ribbon candy but instead was my GP white t-shirts hanging in my closet and Precious kitty looking at me.

YIKES!

It seems it wasn't a migraine I was feeling but head pressure from a bad seizure coming on. A quick seizure too because I only had the aura and pressure for about ten minutes before blacking out and going into a seizure. If my friend was not there it would had been bad news! I am lucky they were looking for me in the living room and once they realized I wasn't there started looking for me in the house and found me on the floor in the closet having a seizure. The after affects of having seizures are feeling foggy and is if your just went through an marathon. Your entire body goes into overdrive and your brain gets fuzzy. It took about thirty minutes for him to get me on the couch so I could relax. I had chills, sweats, a headache, ears full of pressure and tremors. Its been awhile since I had a big seizure so I had forgotten just how nasty they can get! So much for speaking so soon to my Neurologist about being seizure-free.

So I made record time going to bed at 11:30pm and waking up at 1:30pm the next day. Let's just say I got my sleep and then some but its good to let your brain and body rest after seizures. I called my physician and surely will be placed back on my seizure medication. Whether it will work or not with doing Drano treatments on a weekly basis who knows seeing it flushes medication right out of you. Maybe this will be the last seizure for quite awhile but better to be safe than sorry.

Wrong weekend to be having head issues since the official day of the 'United GP Walk' is tomorrow but if I can't make it at least I was able to walk today.

Posted by GastroparesisAwarenessCampaignOrg. at 11:59 PM EDT

Updated: October 24, 2011 12:58 AM EDT

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