Mood:
quizzicalNow Playing: Day 544-The Final Road To Survival
This 'was' a day of Drano aka Hell-In-A-Jug however when even just a littleeeee touch of stress dances into my life on treatment day it changes things. It also changes treatment day seeing the side effects drinking this 'YOU KNOW WHAT' can be deadly if you mix it with stress. I was honestly adamant about drinking it this afternoon. This was obviously before the stress.
This was also therapy day. I am finally able to actually 'go' to see my therapist instead of him having to do my therapy over the phone due to being sick or feeling horrific after treatment. The appointment wasn't until 4pm but the stress hit me before my appointment. GEES! I thought maybe after my appointment I would feel better which I did. That was until a 'second' round of stress came knocking at my door. GEES!!!! So instead of drinking the Drano I had to place the jug of dynamite aside till tomorrow. Of course I am not feeling too hot because my intestines need to be treated. The risks vs benefits of already being stressed out today then adding more internal stress by the treatment just isn't worth the risk.
This too shall pass then tomorrow this Drano too shall pass! Hahahaha!
Me and my therapist went over the new situation with my back when reality it isn't so 'new' after all. In fact I had some red flag warnings at the beginning of the year when I told my doctor I had problems getting out of the car when running errands or my legs going numb. Little did I most likely know was my discs in my lower part of my back were gone and the bones were ready to collapse. Sure I had symptoms, maybe more than a few however my doctors already have their hands full with my unique medical situation. They have enough already on their hands with me but now we just added another problem.
Once I got home I had a chance again to really give some careful thought into the problem with my back and fracture. I also got a phone call from my other specialist who suggested I look into the surgical procedure online before my appointment on October 20th. What I didn't plan on seeing was just how extensive it would be rebuilding my spine and placing spacers, rods, stints, etc. NO WAY! After an hour reading about the surgery and seeing videos not to mention the long recovery process there is just no way in heck I could handle any surgery whether alone a BACK SURGERY! The problem once again is my pre-existing hellish condition called 'Idiopathic Gastroparesis.' The other problem is my body is too exhausted to be put through any further surgical procedures. I told my doctor today that honestly I didn't feel I could go through any surgery no matter how serious things are going on internally. Even if it paralyzes me from the waist down this includes my back.
I guess you could say this evening I made the answer for myself.
I wasn't sure as I told my therapist if even seeing the Neuro surgeon would be such a great idea next week because I already know they are not comfortable with things going on as well with my Idiopathic Gastroparesis. Its a catch 22. I have to keep moving and stay mobile due to my paralyzed organs however now with the compression fracture and back problems staying active will only make things worse. Darn if I do and darn if I don't. Some people do better 'not knowing.' This gal does better knowing exactly what evil medical monster I am fighting. It might not be good news and if things don't get repaired with my back sooner than later I am looking at the near future in a wheelchair. If anything out of this sad situation I told my doctor today, "I guess it could be worse. Things could be worse. Instead of my lumbar it could be problems with my neck that would paralyze me far worse than just losing the ability to walk." My therapist just shook his head and tried to smile. He said, "Some people are just born to battle and find strength within. You just do better knowing what is going on with your body while most don't want to know. Its amazing strength you have, its a blessing."
I couldn't agree with him more!
So here I am facing another battle in my near future. I just hope to be able to cross off a few more 'Bucket List' wishes off my list before its too late but if not when there is a will there will ALWAYS BE A WAY'! Amen.
celebratory
I called my friend to see if they wanted to hit the trails at a local park down the street from my house. I got pretty good sleep last night so why not? We decided to hit the trails later in the day. This way we could first go run some errands. The leaves are turning colors rather quickly so its time to grab the camera and catch nature in action. With all the projects that finally got completed there are only a few things left to do around the house but surely they can wait until later in the week. 
We had to take my car seeing the wheelchair is already in the back. Its not so bad transferring the wheelchair from one car to another as long as it fits. My friend already had moving boxes in the back of their car so we just took mine. I used to walk the trails on a daily basis but this was before my Idiopathic Gastroparesis quickly progressed. I wasn't sure if I could make it all the way around the trail whether alone make it half way through. My back also is another new problem I am having to quickly learn to work around so instead of getting stuck on the trail and having to get my friend to run back for the wheelchair we took it on the walk with us. It was a great idea! I honestly don't think I could had made it without my wheelchair nor my wheelchair assistant, heeheeheehee. He did extremely well and was very patient. 
spacey
Next week will have to slow down as I need to start my Drano aka Hell-In-A-Jug treatments again. I don't want to press my luck running my body crazy two weeks in a row. Its tough because mentally I still want to KEEP ON! KEEPING ON! but with all the problems quickly popping up with my internal organs I need to really check myself before I wreck myself (Did I just rap that line? Watch out JayZ!) hahahaha!
WHOAHOA! Boy do I feel like CELEBRATING THIS EVENING! Ok, let's see...Bucket List #3-Visiting the wolves.
The habitat rescue luckily is only one state over. It was a nice fall day so perfect for a drive. I know my body and I know I could only handle around an hour in the car. Once I mapped everything out online last night and did a trip check it showed the drive only taking maximum time 55 minutes. WHOA! Talking about cutting it close! I told my friend to be over no later than 2pm seeing I wanted to get there by 3pm. Not only did he show up on time but as well we cut some time on the road since it was the weekend and there was no road construction. Although MapQuest said it would take an hour we got there in 40 minutes. The longest part of the drive was off the exit where the habitat is located 17 miles off the expressway. It was a very peaceful drive looking at all the fall leaves changing on the trees! 
at a lucky day! I have been to a few Native American festivals but nothing like this one where they had plenty of dancing, drums, flutes and just all around very relaxing Native American music! I must say as well my friend agrees this was the best festival we both had ever been! Not only was there plenty of vendors but everything was also priced very reasonable and talking about super friendly!! Can I take everyone I met here and exchange them for the rude, nasty folks in the world? We watched some of the Indian dancing and even bought a really nice and comfy wolf fleece pullover. Around 3:20pm I looked down at my watch and said, "We better start walking and head over to the habitat and rescue since they are only open until 6pm." I had called ahead of time not to mention been keeping a close eye on things once I knew the wolves were done shedding and breeding season was over. 
Kathy showed us to the main entrance after we signed a release and I took off my jewelry and sunglasses so the wolves didn't think they were toys and jump up to grab them. Once we got everything together I took a deep breath and let all fear leave my body. Animals react off of fear and last thing you need to do entering a wolf den is to be scared. Let's just say after years of medical torture I don't fear anything and I sure don't fear animals. Put me into a den full of doctors and that's a different story! Hahahaha! I honestly didn't read the release I just signed it because after everything I have gone through having my arm or leg chewed off is the least of my worries. Heck! I am in the wolves home. I am their guest and therefore I need to be on 'my' best behavior. It was the wolves though that made me one of their own because once we made it through two sets of high fence the wolves instantly accepted us as if we knew them for years.
I have placed 'Wolf Creek Habitat & Rescue' as one of my donation organizations when my time comes to be called home. I am amazed by all the hard word this family puts into saving the wolves. To be one with the wolves was an amazing experience. Thank you Kathy & your entire Wolf Creek family. 
bright
Someone made a comment to me that they wouldn't blame me for, "Being Mad At The World." Hahaha! I am not sure what that is suppose to mean or where that came from seeing why would I be mad at the world for being dealt such a CRUEL medical condition? Its not the worlds fault my deck of cards were given to me by David Copperfield full of mostly Jokers. NO WAY! Honestly I don't know of one individual who could handle the full plate in front of me but one person. ME. I love the world and I love living. If not I would had used the 'exit button' years ago. God loves a good fighter and with me he broke the mold. Amen! What I don't love is lack of help and support. What I do need is help and support.
Thank you Andrea for putting a smile on my face today and for your passion helping parents who have children newly diagnosed with Gastroparesis. 
Well back to my couchbed. Get it? "BACK?!" Hahahahaha! I sure hope God loves a comedian and has a comedy club in Heaven too!
surprised
JUST when I was 'trying' to get on some sort or routine...It never fails the unexpected happens.
I tried my best to first run some errands with my friend once they picked me up but the pain just got to be a bit too much. I did get checked out at my local urgent care facility thinking maybe, just maybe its the spine pain from nerve damage firing up again and I might need another spinal injection. They did run x-rays then the doctor asked me to come into his office so he could explain what is going on and show me the x-rays. I quickly decided to bring my friend with me seeing two sets of eyes and ears are better than one! The doctor began showing us photos of my lower spine in which I have a compressed fracture. I also don't have any space in between four lower areas of my back so the bones collapsed and are stuck on top of each other like pancakes. This is where all the pain is coming from as well referring to my neck. My spinal situation in an instant just got much, much worse. My specialists were treating me for intestinal and spinal pain but they didn't follow through too closely and over the last few days I had suffered another collapse. I am lucky as heck they said it didn't paralyze me seeing the sciatica nerve runs in the same area and is getting trapped. I assumed this would be a 'quick' fix but instead was referred to an Orthopedic surgeon because they will have to put a few plates and spacers between the damaged spine and bones. 
on fire
Finally finishing up on some much needed and long overdue painting projects. Thank goodness for my friend helping! NO WAY could I even attempted doing this alone! Honestly my back was on FIRE by the time I got up and once again it took me awhile before I could even get up off my couchbed. The fur kids didn't mind though seeing they are enjoying catching up on some much needed rest. I was bound to get some sleep last night so I took my pain medication which works wonders but if you allow it you could sleep for days.
There have been constant visitors looking at the Halloween decorations and classic horror movie characters outside. After the first few days you tend to get used to having cars outside and groups of people in the yard taking photos. Littleblue even enjoys scaring a few visitors by laying on top of the displays, hahaha! Shes so silly! Oreo has gotten a bit into the spirit of the season with his new sporty sweater. Although the weather isn't sure once again if it is fall or summer. Temperatures are starting to climb once again into the 80's which makes for more viruses to pop up making everyone sick. I am now being extra cautious when out in public!
My butterfly friends have been few and far between this year but to much surprise I am starting to see quite a few lately. I assume the last warm dose of air are bringing them out now. They sure are beautiful and I have seen a few already today. I haven't been able to sit back and enjoy my backyard beach just yet but plan on doing so this weekend.
d'oh
With fall being my favorite season and time of the year what I don't look forward to is all the nasty viruses that are now going around including a few different types of flu. If I make it through the remainder of this week without catching it I will be SHOCKED! This gal won't be knocking on any wood nearby you can trust me on that one!
No sleep. Headache. Drained. Fever. Chills. Inflammation. Nauseated. Dizzy. This is all part of dealing with the ole Hell-In-A-Jug aka Drano weekly treatments. 
At least I can think about the fun we had at the 2nd annual 'Hot Sauce Festival' this past weekend. I am so glad I pushed myself and got out! I went to it last year and learned from prior experience what not to touch which is pretty much about 90% of the vendors samples. Although everyone else was bold and I even talked them into trying the really blazing HOT stuff! There was a hot chocolate sauce and hot lollipop eating contest and although I do love chocolate Gastroparesis & spicey foods just don't mix but it was sure fun to watch! We couldn't had asked for a more perfect fall day for the festivities! It was different and fun! Key word is FUN! What I am doing my best to add more of in my life. Amen! The best part was being able to dress up and blend in with the rest of society. Being a girly girl! 
So back to reality and back to the bathroom. Its all part of the Drano fun! WHOAHOA!
It's the day from Hell! Its Drano day aka Hell-In-A-Jug AGAIN! You know its the start of a bad weekend when I lifted my car floor mat Friday only to find a frown guy looking back at me. OK, it was funny at the time! Hahahaha!
Once we got back to my house my friend dropped me off so I could get my jug mixture ready and start treatment this way they could go home for a few hours and catch up on some cleaning, etc. I made it through my jug treatment but lets just say holding off for a bit wasn't wise. The salt feeling in my eyes and the burning was horrible! The fog feeling and not making any sense was annoying. The worst part was the cardiac side effects it gives you so let's just say Mr. Drano wasn't too kind to this gal.