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The Road Before & After Surgery
June 10, 2018
That Same Authentic Self Still Remains~
Mood:  bright
Now Playing: Day 3076-Chapter 3... Happiness~My Silver Lining

 

 

It's been awhile... what actually feels like quite awhile since writing on this blog... minus repeating what's been happening on our new website.

 

"Our Crazy Little Life"

www.ourcrazylittlelife.podbean.com

 

Thanks to everyone for all of your continued support and patience as we are hopeful to make a full transition by the end of this summer.

 

There has been so many changes that have kept us busy in our crazy little life. Some good... some not so good as we anxiously await a letter/document that should arrive in the mail by sometime next week. It's unfortunate when family never took the time to really understand the ups and downs that have happened in our life over the past several years. I can only be honest to a certain point without having to constantly repeat myself... but when those who refuse to listen and then take it upon themselves to continue not to listen or at least understand all of the struggles and many hardships we have endured over the past several years. Well... trust me by saying with more than enough experience, "You can expect some not-so-happy changes to come about... some sooner... some later."

Myself and Eric fully expect far bigger doors to close permanently within our lives. This is what happens when you assume and expect others... especially your own family... to understand your journey. What we have both learned over the past several years is that no one is ever going to understand what you are going through unless they too are walking in your shoes. As a stepmother... I have learned quite a lot over the past several years. I have also with the help of a professional made decisions in the best interest of my stepchild. I stand firm in saying that I have absolutely zero regrets in making sure to protect the best interests at heart with that stepchild. Although... I can not change the course of actions from those who never truly understood our journey nor cared to listen to the reasons for protecting my stepchild by keeping them with their grandparents while undergoing oncology treatments, surgeries, endless procedures, new residential structural problems and far-too-much family conflict.

My decisions were not made solely alone. They were made with the help of a professional... a child psychologist whom also agreed with me in making sure the stepchild did not have to be a part of years of highly combative, unhealthy family conflict nor watch me endure oncology treatments, surgical procedures and other changes within life that go along with long term illness. What we needed was time to get back to a much more stable... happier life for my stepchild. But with time comes those whom feel they have privileges that overstep the boundaries of even biological birth parents. I was told that I was a "Nobody as a Stepparent." That my opinions meant nothing. I even spent years reaching out to my stepchild only to recently find out that the grandparents never told the stepchild nor about anything we sent in the mail. My spouse was very upset and rightfully so but this is what happens when what used to be family... refuses to listen nor accept struggles within your own journey.

Disheartening would be an understatement. Yet... I do not regret doing what was best for my stepchild in order to make sure they were sheltered from anything but living a happy healthy life. If I am to be damned forever for doing such a thing. Then so be it as any good parent, stepparent or biological parent should do which is to look out for the best interest of a child.

The long awaited letter in the mail... depending on the outcome will forever change our life, my life as a stepparent. Another change that we are awaiting and the impact it will instantly bring to our life. When my grandmother, my last grandparent passed away a few years ago. Family had kept not just my spouse, but my stepchild from attending the funeral which was a God given right taken away by family. It would then by my last and final funeral myself and my spouse have both decided to ever attend. I had to leave that funeral of my grandmother far too early and not by choice. The hurt alone of not allowing my spouse and stepchild to be present by a few in attendance was far too much for me to fathom, whether alone to be in the same funeral home room with the family members. Out of respect for my grandmother, after she made it clear to me months prior of her passing, to not attend her funeral because of the conflict within family and not wanting me to endure any further stress. She made it clear to myself and Eric that we were far better off without the fools in our lives. I haven't forgotten what those family members took away from me, my spouse and my stepchild. The right and privilege of being present with my spouse and stepchild at my own grandmothers funeral. Nor will I ever forget. The same way I felt while being blatantly disrespected by my own uncle as he firmly reached out and grabbed my arm twice in front of my grandmother laying in rest. "HEY YOU! COME HERE!" Clearly not the right place nor showed any type of respect as a niece who isn't a child anymore. It not only shocked me, but beyond embarrassed me. After that... I made the right decision to leave.

 

It was the last funeral of any family myself and my spouse will ever attend.

 

But with time and far too much experience... both good and bad comes wisdom and life experiences to share with so many others.

I have spent far too many years being silenced and threatened by family in not allowing myself to be the true, authentic me. Not being allowed to have feelings nor any expression of emotions. What a hellish and most definitely a very unhealthy way to live for far too many years as it took a tremendous toll on my health.

Through some of the most difficult trials and tribulations.. that same authentic strong self has finally reemerged stronger than ever before!

 

We look forward in continuing to share our story in hopes of inspiring others around the world because you too are never alone.

 

Never allow anyone to silence you.

Never allow anyone to burn that bright beautiful light within.

www.gastroparesisawareness.com

www.ourcrazylittlelife.podbean.com

 

 

 

 

Copyright © E.W.D ourcrazylittlelife 2018.

All Rights Reserved.


Posted by GastroparesisAwarenessCampaignOrg. at 6:30 AM EDT
Updated: June 11, 2018 4:19 AM EDT
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