Mood:
hug meNow Playing: Day 2734-Next GP Chapter... Turning Lemons Into Lemonade :)
Cancer treatments...Oncology treatments.
If only there was a book for patients that told it all. That REALLY told it all!
I decided over the past two weeks to temporarily place aside all of my wigs, hair extensions and other PRESTO-MAGIC ways to make oneself feel like their old self. That is...Prior to oncology treatments.
There is something to be said for those whom have endured the most brutal toxicity of this earth. Yet, still have the emotional strength to talk about their experience to others. Sharing their unique journey. There is also something to be said about the undeniable power within to truly LOVE YOURSELF. The freedom to embrace the now. The present.
What cancer treatment centers, hospitals and other oncology facilities do not explain to patients is what life will be like 'after' experimental treatments. What is ahead...The future. For those who are the bravest of the brave! Patients whom walk through those oncology doors and into the land of the unknown. Because let's be real by saying, "Cancer is the unknown." Every cancer is different. Every patient's reaction to experimental treatments are also very different. What a patient endures during and after, post-treatments, can vary as far as side effects. Both short term and unfortunately, long-term. If only patients had a far better understanding about the road ahead, when treatments either worked temporarily or didn't work at all. I personally don't believe that cancer just disappears. But I do believe that for some patients. Cancer does go into hiding. Remission.
Today I got the not-so-lucky privilege to find out what happens after oncology treatments. Hormones. When radiation and other various toxic treatment drugs play games with your hormones. Ovarian cancer is one damning, unpredictable journey of the unknown. Radiation treatments and other drugs sent cells into a mad scramble. Shutting down not only one ovary, but as well the magical and most damning ovary of all defied the shut-down. Or as my oncologists call it, "A deep state of ovarian sleep-temporary sleep." The unicorn ovary that not only grew back, but is causing more hell for my team of specialists than one could ever imagine in their wildest nightmares. Not dreams. Because who really would want this kind of nightmare as a dream?. During my last scan they were actually able to get the best images to date. Tumors feeding from their own blood supply. Not just by hormones. NOT...GOOD NEWS.
I have been transferred to Endocrinology with an appointment in two weeks. Instead of replacing lost hormones that most woman receive after oncology treatments aimed at the reproductive organs that supply important hormones to the body. They now have to make sure to do everything in their power to shut off all hormonal supply to the tumors. This isn't something that anyone would be happy about, as a woman, ME. But it's something that must be done. Oncology treatments didn't work. Thus the end result that no one tells you when treatments fail...Is the long road that lies ahead of you. The land of the unknown.
This is where having the power to not just embrace YOU in the NOW comes into play. But truly having the power to be able to love yourself. Hair, no hair, hormones, no hormones. Hey! Things happen. Life happens and no normal, sane patient ever asked to be sick. But sometimes you just have to learn to accept and love the person in the mirror. The one looking back at you. Because YOU are still, no matter what...
B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L!
