Accepting Change & Setting Boundaries.
Mood:  surprised
Now Playing: Day 629-The Final Road To Survival

So far the water has been calm today! Between the unnecessary stress on top of rebounding from the ole Drano I am doing my best to get as much rest as possible. I have gotten nothing but broken sleep the past few days but only as expected.

I made sure to set my cell phone alarm last night for my doctor-therapist appointment today. Of course I was awake way before my alarm went off since Littleblue is still in her Mommy mode collecting stuffed animal hedgehog puppies all hours of the day and night. I expect this to only last maybe one more week. Its cute but at the same time I think I am just as exhausted as she is! Hahahaha! Oreo is doing a bit better although hes still very slow when moving around. I keep a close eye on him and Littleblue as well Jingles puppy. Oreo and Littleblue have another week of antibiotics then need to get rechecked. Jingles is finally finished with all his medication so he will be rechecked this week since he was the one who brought all the nasty germs and viruses home. He is a handful! It seems so long ago when Littleblue was 'little.' Jingles will give you a run for your money and then some! Hes hilarious when he goes into the run mode going round and round the couch, at least three to four laps then DONE! Oreo gets exhausted just from watching him! Hahahaha!

I had a team of support at my doctors appointment this afternoon. Honestly there was a lot to talk about since there is so much going on. Not just information from my therapist but as well help coming from a local Chief of police and a Woman helping Woman organization making sure I arm myself with information taking all the proper actions and moves I can in order to keep the peace in my life. Its been amazing all the support and I once again feel like the strong, confident take no BS gal I used to be before getting sick with Idiopathic Gastroparesis. Change will take time but I refuse to turn back! I'm grateful as well getting insight from someone who also has a family member who is an addict. This week has started a chain reaction setting boundaries with others. I also had to cut ties. Its not easy but in order for others to respect me I have to first respect myself. I am not dead yet so I refuse to be treated as such. I didn't ask to be sick. Especially with such a rare and unknown GI condition like Gastroparesis. I can't help nor change that some might see me as already dead or refuse to accept the new me. My condition won't be going anyway anytime soon. Take it or leave it. More like take me or leave me. I am just tired of the crap and rude behavior from others.

Sometimes you just have to set boundaries and demand respect. If it doesn't work the first time then like a broken record those boundaries will be repeated over and over again. Right now I don't trust many people around this area. I can count on one hand how many I do trust. Pretty sad isn't it? Its called being burned a bit too many times.

While facing change for the BETTER I am also juggling a few changes with my Gastroparesis. Like hair loss caused by mal-absorption syndrome. (Mal-absorption syndrome is defined as the body’s inability to absorb the vitamins, minerals, and other nutrients it needs from food. Nutritional deficiencies may be experienced by an individual with malabsorption syndrome, even if the diet is healthy or nutritional supplements are taken. The disorder stems from impaired digestion, or from the inability to absorb nutrients into the bloodstream from the small intestine)

In other words, "I am running out of hair!" I don't see any new hair regrowth either. My doctors have run every test under the sun but no luck! It just comes back to the same thing-Idiopathic Gastroparesis complications-poor absorption. The last few weeks I have come to the understanding that I just need to embrace wigs. Have fun with them! Not consider them as a horrible reminder of my condition. Its not like back in the day when wigs were rare and not many people wore them. Now you will find lots of celebrities wearing a variety of wigs. My first time out in public with one on was New Years eve. I sported a long blond two tone look. I took some of my Christmas money and bought another one today which is almost the same color of my natural hair now but with dark red high lights and side bangs. Next venture out I plan on wearing my latest wig. It might take a bit but no need to cry over something I can't change and hair I won't be getting back.

One thing I got scolded on today was not using my cane as instructed by my specialists. Yes, I don't feel the pain of bone on bone with my lower lumbar but its important for me to use the cane to support my spine that has shifted on top of not having any discs left and fractures. I told my therapist today in front of everyone that I admit to letting my ego get in the way. It bothers me the looks I get out in public when all I really want when I do get out of the house is to be able to fit in with the rest of society. I don't want to wear the "LOOK AT ME! I AM SICK BADGE." My therapist also got on me about not using the wheelchair and giving my back a break as instructed. He said, "Think of it as a leg or sports related injury." I guess I could try that but most important I BETTER start listening to my doctors instructions. I don't want to be paralyzed from the waist down sooner than expected but at the same time I need to remember my spine is shifted and damaged. I feel like I have so much on my plate already that I don't know where to begin. I haven't even set up the hospital test yet to have the cyst rechecked in my chest. GEES!

One thing at a time...

I am doing good keeping up with the Drano aka Hell-In-A-Jug treatments so maybe per every ones suggestion I take my wall calender in the kitchen and put it to good use! This way I am not feeling overwhelmed nor forgetting important reminders. The next appointment is with my GI doctor regarding medication, intestinal ulcers (which in my opinion are mainly being caused by the darn Hell-In-A-Jug and stress), Drano treatments, home care and support. At least I am starting to take the necessary steps to finally put a LID on the stress part!

Two days of Drano freedom left so my friend suggested once a week if I am feeling well enough we get out to escape a bit. I couldn't agree with them more! CHEERS to better days ahead in 2012!!